Jacob pointed at the cameraman. "Make sure you get this." Suddenly, Ben Spencer strode towards them, on a pathway down the halls. "So, Ben Spencer, what do you have to say about the rumours that you're an alien from outer space? Or that you're an escaped convict hiding in McKinley High because you killed someone?"

"Listen here Jewfro. You can take your cameras and your crew and your ridiculous and annoying microphone and shove them where the sun can't shine. I honestly don't give a crap what you think."

"That's not a denial."

"You want a denial – fine. It's completely not true at all. Not at all. Happy? None of the rumours that you've made up have any basis in reality whatsoever." He shoved past and continued walking.

"This isn't over Spencer!" called Sue Sylvester, from down the hall.

"If this isn't on camera," Jacob warned the cameraman.

"You can't possibly be that person. How do you know anything about me?"

"This isn't the time, Ms Sylvester," he said warningly, twitching his eyebrows towards the camera.

"I don't care who's watching. You're going to tell me the truth. Now!"

"I don't have time for this. I'm leaving." He stormed off and Sue didn't go to follow him. She simply spread out her fingers in front of the camera.

"TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!"

So they did.

It was lunchtime, and the entire glee club was sitting together at a table. Ben was nowhere to be seen, and Finn decided he was going to eat something – everyone felt a bit nervous about the set-list that they'd received from Ben (with a heart-warming note at the end that simply stated 'I'm pretty sure I'm going to die soon. If you don't let me perform these songs, I'll take you with me'). That being said, it was still a big risk to be performing the songs he suggested – and in the way he suggested.

As he got up to walk to the area where food was served, he was ambushed. "So, Finn Hudson, are the rumours true that you and Ben Spencer are living together because you're boyfriends?" The words came at him quicker than he had the chance to process them so he couldn't really figure out anything clever to say.

"Uh..."

"We'll take that as a yes. Thanks for your time!"

After breaking up with her boyfriend, the last thing that Quinn Fabray wanted was to talk to anyone else in the world. Her intention was to stay completely alone – but someone had other ideas.

"So, Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader, is it true that you're no longer dating Sam Evans because he's having a gay relationship with Ben Spencer?"

Quinn just sighed. "You need to learn to respect boundaries, Jacob ben Israel." She strutted away.

"We'll take that as a yes!"

"So, Noah Puckerman, is it true that you made out with Ben Spencer in glee club?"

"I'm not confirming that."

"We'll take that as a yes."

"So, Rachel Berry, will you go on a date with me?"

She stormed off.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"So, Mr. Schuester, is it true that your entire glee club is falling apart?"

"My glee club is doing just fine."

"We'll take that as a yes."

"So, Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell, is it true that your marriage is in turmoil because you refuse to put out?"

"My marriage is none of your business!"

"We're going to take that as a yes."

"So, Mercedes Jones, -"

"I'm going to stop you right there. My friends have already been telling me that you're harassing them, and I'm not going to let you bully me into anything. It's not your place to comment on our lives, or broadcast it to the entire world. So back off."

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

"So, Tina Cohen-Chang, is it true that you've legally changed your name to Tina Cohen-Loser?"

"That was Ms. Sylvester."

"Wow, harsh."

"So, Mike Chang, is it true that you've developed a personality?"

"That's really rude."

"And, apparently, it's true."

"So, Artie Abrams, is it true that you've found a device that will allow you to walk without a wheelchair?"

"Yeah, actually, it is."

"Finally, an actual yes."

"So, Santana Lopez, what's your opinion on Sam Evans and Ben Spencer's budding romance?"

"I really don't care very much."

"That's great, thank you. What about you, Brittany Pierce?"

"I think it's nice that we finally have dolphins at this school."

"I'm going to pretend I understand what you mean and walk away."

"So, Rachel Berry, is it true that you ran away from Finn Hudson today because you were totally repulsed by him and wanted to reconsider going out with me?"

"Just leave me alone, Jacob."

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

Finally, after it seemed like the entire school had been interviewed about the relationship he was having, Sam found himself jumped by Jacob ben Israel at the end of the day.

"So, Sam Evans, - "

"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of using the words 'I'll take that as a yes'. Just know this – the Ben Spencer who we see around here isn't the real Ben. The real Ben is all mine, hidden away. And I care about him a lot. So you'd better leave him alone when he gets back. Or I'll personally make sure you do."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"So, what do we have?"

"Dynamite. We've got a confession, and lots of half hearted denials. Let's break it to the rest of the school."

The headline read: Ben Spencer and Sam Evans: Relationship Status – Dating.

"Perfect," said Jacob, grinning. "Things don't get to be kept secret at this school. Not on my watch."