Author's notes: Thanks once more for your lovely reviews and support for this story, I really appreciate everyone of them. Thank you to the guest reviewers that I can't thank personally. And thanks for the follows and faves to. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Patrick looks up at the sound of footsteps, Madeline is coming his way. She takes the chair next to him and puts her hand on his arm.
"No word?"
He shakes his head. His face shows every minute of worry that he's spent since the accident, the depth of his sorry, laying heavy in his eyes, his fragility radiating from him, she's afraid he'll collapse when he stands up. She hears a sound coming from the other side of him. He turns towards it. Looking past him she can see Maddy laying on a blanket on the chair beside him. She beginning to stretch her limbs and he picks her up.
"Shall I take her for you Patrick?"
He looks at her as if he doesn't understand the question. She holds out her arms.
"Let me take her. I'll look after her for you."
He shakes his head, lays her on his shoulder and leans back, straightening his legs in front of him, he feet crossed and he closes his eyes.
He knows he's probably being rude. She's here because of him, in response to his call, but he can't cope with conversation, he can't talk about 'what happened'. He can't bear to listen to words of comfort that are meaningless. He can't bear the idea of losing again.
His thoughts switch between the grave stones of Charlotte and Angela and gravestones of Teresa and Austin. He barely knows them, sometimes he feels his living in a fantasy and that he'll wake up and there will be the life he recognises, the life he has a connection to, his real family.
But the pain in his heart is real. It's suffocating, it's hindering his ability to breathe, he wants to dig it out, to not feel anything. This is all he has, these people are all he knows. Does he love them? He cares for them, he recognises that. His mind rushing through the activities of the day, he enjoyed it, he enjoys being with them, it isn't hard to respond to the love he sees in Austin's eyes, Teresa's…The pain grabs him again. He can't lose again. Maddy stirs , turning her head towards him, he can feel her breath on his neck, as if she's reminding him that she's still here. He has her, he tightens his hold on her and concentrates his thoughts on the feel of that gentle breath warming his skin, the weight of her sleepy body on his own, the smell of sand and sea mingled in her hair. He turns his head and kisses her cheek, her mouth forms in to a smile, her eyes still closed, tears spring to his eyes. He hears Madeline next to him, he'd forgotten she was there.
"Patrick."
At the same time he hears footsteps, he opens his eyes and a doctor in scrubs, Asian, Indian Patrick guesses, tall and thin, is coming towards him.
"Are you Mr. Jane? Please don't stand up."
Patrick nods his head and sits up straight in the chair.
"My names Doctor Parquet. I operated on your wife. I've repaired the tear, which went very well, and I'm confident it will hold. We're giving her blood and her kidney shows every sign of working as it should. Your wife should be fine. She's still in recovery but will be going to intensive care for the rest of the night and if everything goes as it should she'll be moved to a regular ward in the morning."
"Does she know about Austin, her son?"
The doctor shakes his head.
"No, not yet."
"When she's settled into her room you can see her."
"How can I leave? Will Doctor Camford know where to find me?"
He feels a hand on his arm and turns to Madeline.
"I'll sit with her Patrick, is that all right Doctor?"
"It's usually just family in intensive care."
"There isn't anyone else"
The doctor nods his head.
"A nurse will come and let you know."
As the doctor walks away Patrick expresses his thanks to Madeline.
"You're welcome. I don't think they will allow babies in there, will you be all right will Maddy?"
She picks up a bag lying at her feet.
"I brought extra clothes, bottles and some food."
Patrick smiles fleetingly at her, in juxtaposition to the sadness in his eyes, his voice is flat.
"Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you."
"If she wakes up, what do you want me to say to her about Austin."
Patrick shrugs, and moves Maddy to his other shoulder.
"Tell her he's in surgery and that I'll come see her as soon as I know anything."
A nurse is heading towards them and she stands up and Patrick follows.
"Let me take Maddy home with me, I'll bring her back in the morning."
"She doesn't like the strange cot."
"Let me worry about that, you have enough to worry about."
He nods absent mindedly as his attention is now on the nurse standing in front of them.
"What room is she in?"
"Room 207. I'll make sure the staff know your situation Mr. Jane. They'll let you in, whatever the time."
"Thank you."
The nurse indicates for Madeline to follow and as they leave Patrick sits back down. It feels cold on his left side, he barely gave Madeline any attention but now she's gone he misses the company, the feeling of not being alone. Maddy moves her head as if to remind him once more that he's not alone. He lays his hand gently on her head and gives her a kiss.
He leans back and stretches out as before and closes his eyes, thinking of Madeline walking in to Teresa's room, Is she awake, is she asking about Austin, about him.
Madeline follows the nurse up the elevator to the second floor. The nurse squirts her hands with sanitizer and Madeline follows suit. They enter intensive care. There's a large nurses station with the rooms around the edges, circling it. The walls of the rooms are of glass allowing the nurses to have eyes on their patients at all times. Madeline notices that all the rooms she passes are occupied. Because of the glass she sees Teresa before entering the room, her eyes are closed and her dark lashes stand out against the pale skin. There's bruising and stitches on the left side of her face. There are leads snaking out from under the covers, leading to machines surrounding the bed. An IV's attached to her right arm. The nurse indicates for her to enter before leaving. Madeline opens the door.
Teresa opens her eyes to the sound, though obviously still under the influence of the anesthesia drugs. She looks at Madeline with a puzzled expression, obviously not who she was expecting to see. Madeline walks towards the bed and smiles.
"Hi Teresa."
Clarity comes and Teresa smiles weakly.
"Where's Patrick? Where's my children?"
"It's okay Teresa, Maddy's with Patrick, fast asleep on his shoulder, Austin's in surgery and Patrick's waiting for news, he said he'll come see you as soon as he knows anything."
Suddenly tears form in Teresa's eyes.
"It's his brain isn't it?"
Madeline shakes her head.
"I don't know, I don't have any details, Patrick just told me about the accident that you and Austin were in surgery, and I said I would be right there. He wasn't in a talkative mood while we were waiting."
"How's he doing?"
"He's keeping it together."
"I didn't see it, it came from nowhere, we were just talking and then there was this bang…"
Madeline rubs her arm.
"It's okay Teresa,"
Teresa shakes her head.
"They said he hadn't regained consciousness, I saw the blood trickling down his face in the rear view mirror, its his brain, he could be damaged, even if he lives he may not be the same Austin."
"There's no point worry about that, be positive, he needs his mom to be positive, and get stronger, so she can be with him."
"Look what happened to Patrick. I can believe I'm here again, worrying about the same things but this time….my little boy…"
Madeline can find nothing to say, she hands Teresa a tissue and takes her hand and squeezes it. Lisbon wipes at her eyes and give Madeline a grateful smile and closes her eyes.
Unable to sit any longer, Patrick's pacing up and down, fighting a ridiculous urge to flee, to not be here anymore. Escape the worry, the dread, the heaving weight on his shoulders and the pain crushing him from within. As he turns once more a doctor is standing in front of him. A woman who he figures is five foot two at the most, athletic build, flaming red hair. Nothing like he'd imagined her.
"Mr. Jane, I'm Doctor Camford."
"How is he?"
He searches her face looking for the answer, for any indication of his condition.
"He's alive Mr Jane. Why don't we sit down."
She guides him over to the chairs without touching him and they both sit down.
"I've stopped the bleeding and I have inserted a shunt to drain off the rest of the blood. There was a substantial amount of bleeding, the results of which will not be known until he wakes up. He's a strong little boy, and is holding his own. He's on a respirator, so prepare yourself for that."
"I can see him?"
"Of course. You can stay as long as you like."
"I need to let my wife know. She's in intensive care."