They're going to kill Annie. I don't know how yet, but I know they'll do it while I'm away in the Capitol, somewhere that I can't defend her.
"I've failed Mags," these mind games seem even more lethal than they have been in the past. Now all I can think of is how I threw away my only chance at happiness, because I dared say no. Mags shakes her head to disagree but there's nothing to disagree with here, I messed up.
When I return in a month there will be no more Annie.
Mags follows me to the square but not before wiping my eyes and fixing my hair. And just like that I become Finnick, smiling, promiscuous Finnick. The audience and I share a blank stare with each other as the cameras capture the exchange as "intensity," Mags stands near me along with a few other straggling victors who remembered what today's date was.
Thomps happens through the rehearsed openings as I lock eyes with Annie. I want to smile at her, wave, run up and kiss her, but I stay still and all we do is share eye contact. A gloved hand reaches into the bowl as Thomps whips out a death certificate for some random girl in the audience.
"Annie Cresta!"
Everything drains from my face, I know because I look at my hands now pale themselves with fear. Luckily the cameras will be on her and not me but I'll have no cover for my appearance when they turn back. Annie's eyes grow wide as she slowly walks to the stage, looking down at the ground. I don't even know how to act, luckily something is clawing at the back of my throat and even if I wanted to cry it couldn't even come out as a croak.
Annie stands there, right in front of me. In front of our District who know I love this girl, who see me walk with her everyday, who see my hands interlocked with hers. Whatever boy is picked will surely know he will die, for he must know all I will do to protect Annie.
Our escort is unaware of any of this as he clomps over to the next tribute, I watch Annie's quick breathing wondering if I can just steady it with the intensity of my eyes. But it doesn't work and when the words leave Thomps' mouth for the male tribute my dropped face is quickly covered by a yawn – because I don't expect it. No one does.
"Ken Cresta!"
The young boy shakes his head, he looks up and sees his older sister on the stage, this girl about to cry out with despair and grief. My body goes numb as I see both of them stand before me. For once in her life Annie's hair is clean of snarls and pinned back in a diamond barrette I had been given by a young female fan in the Capitol. It's happening so quickly, so instantly that my world is crashing down around me in fragile seconds. The odds aren't even a question, because this wasn't chance.
I am supposed to smile, offer some witty comment as I had done in years past but none is needed. The District stands silently when Thomps asks them to shake hands, as if he hadn't even noticed they were siblings.
The pair hug instead and Annie falls to her brother's knees crying as they try to support each other. And every second kills me, every second I want to reach her, hold her, cradle her.., and I can't. But it's the scorn laden in Ken's eyes that scare me, make me regret every selfish thing I've done over the past few years.
I have broken our promise: I have not kept his sister safe.
They shuffle the two into separate rooms, which I protest since the same people will be showing up to say goodbye to the both of them. My breathing is hard and it takes every inch of my strength to continue looking calm, even when the only people in my presence are peacekeepers and not cameras.
Annie's mother runs towards me, "Why?!" She runs her fingernails into my chest and I can feel their puncture through my wool shirt. She screams in pain not caring who hears her, "Both my children!" I hold her close to my body, trying to keep my own tears at bay.
I pull her back, looking straight into those eyes we all share, "I will do everything in my power to protect them."
This does little to console her, but for maybe my sake she pretends it does and nods. We both know the arena is unpredictable and unbeatable – no one ever really survives. I direct her to Ken and then break the rules by entering into Annie's. But the Peacekeepers don't stop me.
As soon as she sees me she thrashes into my body like a wave and all her emotion runs over me and we wallow in it together, "I can't do it, Finnick! I can't," Her sobs turn to wails as I hold the back of her head as tightly as I can.
"Annie look at me," I grab her wet chin and her eyes meet mine immediately, " I will do everything I can, in all my power, to keep you and your brother safe and alive. Everything. You only have to listen to me."
She shakes her head but her words are calmer, "There's only one winner, Finnick," big silent tears now run down her cheeks and mine soon join.
"It'll be alright Annie. This time I promise to keep you safe and nothing will ever keep me from that promise again."
Thank you for reading.