I met with Lissa after the ceremony. The bond told me she had left the church and was now in the library. When I walked in she looked up and smiled.
"Hey. There's my ferocious guardian," she said closing her book and standing up to meet me for a hug. I wanted to correct her and felt guilty that I didn't but I couldn't. She couldn't know because is she knew, Christian would know, then Eddie would know and Eddie can't keep secrets.
"Hey," I said quietly.
"What's wrong? Was it painful?" she asked sensing my mood almost as if the bond was both ways.
"No it was fine. It's just been a sad day." Technically not a lie. It was a sad day for many reasons but I didn't want to go into detail.
"Come on. Let's go to dinner," she said changing the conversation. We walked out of the library with her books and equipment in her bag. It was a comfortable silence but it didn't last long.
"Adrian's here," she said and I stayed silent. "He was asking for you."
"I know," I told her. "I saw." Her eyes widened.
"'Saw?' as in…" she started.
"Yep." She looked down understanding that I was there for the talk she had kept hidden from me. "Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about stopping your pills?" I asked.
"Because I know you would freak out," she said.
"I won't freak out," I told her calmly. "Tell me,"
"I'm better now. I'm not angry or depressed and all I want is to use my magic. To get that amazing feeling back but I can't because of these pills." She explained.
"Look," I started. "I don't like the idea of you using the magic that hurt you in the past but I can feel how much you miss it and I understand. You can stop if you want and I will help you but if anything happens like last time, you have to promise you will use them again," I told her.
"I know. I will I promise. The doctor said I could stop tomorrow but it will take a while for it to leave my system so I will still have to wait a while before I can use my magic again," she told me.
"Okay just stay safe," I told her.
"Rose, you really will be the best guardian ever," she told me and I smiled even though her words pained me by reminding me of the truth.
"I hope so," I said. We pushed opened the doors and instantly spotted our little group at our usual table. Eddie still had a haunted look tattooed on his face but I could see he was done moping. Christian smiled as Lissa slipped in beside him and I joined Eddie across from them. I looked around noting our missing member.
"Where's Mia?" I asked. Christian's smiled dropped.
"She's gone," he said.
"What? Where?" I asked.
"Her dad is taking her to stay with him at court. She's not coming back. After what happened to her mother her dad want's Mia to stay with him." I understood that much but was still a little upset. We all went through the same thing. Of course, Mia lost her mother and that was heartbreaking but we would all need each other to get over what happened to us. We had just started to become friends and now she is gone.
"When did she leave?" I asked.
"A couple hours ago," said Eddie. "She wanted to tell you but didn't want to mess with your big day." I understood but was still disappointed that I didn't get to say goodbye.
"Have you guys seen Adrian?" I asked changing the subject.
"Yeah," said Christian. "I saw him outside when we were coming in. do you know why he's here?" Christian asked.
"No but I'm going to find out," I said and I stood up.
"How did you know he was here?" asked Eddie. I looked to Lissa for a brief second.
"Someone told me he was here looking for me," I told them, It wasn't a lie, someone had told me, I just didn't mention Lissa. I knew Christian got jealous easily and I didn't want to start something.
"I'm going to go see him," I announced and walked out. There would still be plenty of time for dinner and I was still full from the ceremony cake. When I opened the door a cloud of clove cigarette smoke devoured me. I coughed and waved my hands furiously in front of my face to clear the smoke away.
"Do you mind?" I asked rhetorically.
"Not at all," he answered and ignored my glare.
"I was told you were looking for me," I told him and moved to stand next to where he was leaving on the buildings brick wall.
"That would be correct," he said but didn't elaborate.
"What do you want?" I asked getting annoyed at his smug smirk.
"To talk," he said and took another puff of his cigarette.
"Okay then. Talk."
"You have been keeping secrets," he said after a couple moments of silence. I froze and he smirked smugly at my reaction.
"What are you talking about?" I tried to cover it up but it didn't work.
"Don't try to deny it little Dhampir, or should I say, little princess. I know everything." I didn't deny it after that. He knew and there was no changing that.
"How did you find out?" I asked.
"My aunt," he said simply. My face must have shown my anger because Adrian burst out laughing. "Don't be angry, Rose. She has kept your secret."
"No, she hasn't. No one was supposed to know and she told you," I argued.
"With good reason," he retorted. "She told me because she wanted to send me here to look after you," she explained.
"So she told you so you can be my babysitter. You. Honestly, I think you're the one who needs the babysitter," I exclaimed muttering the last sentence.
"It's more than that. I was going to come back so I could work with Lissa on Spirit and she saw it as a good opportunity as we already know each other and I would spend time with you. Besides, isn't it better it's me and not a stranger?" he said. He had a point. I sighed deeply.
"Alright. I understand, but I'm not happy with it," I told him.
"Sorry, little princess. I'm here to stay."
"Well if you are going to stay you have to stop with the 'Little Princess' thing and you have to swear you will keep this secret," I told him.
"All right little Dhampir," he said with an eye roll. "And of course I will keep it secret."
"No offense, but I don't know if I can trust your promises when you get drunk every night."
"None-taken. Don't worry. I can keep a secret. Even when I'm drunk." I was a little skeptical but there was nothing I could do.
"Okay then," I said simply. He dropped his cigarette onto the grass and stomped on it to put it out. I turned away in annoyance about to go back to the others when he stopped me.
"You know little Dhampir, now that you're a royal we actually have a chance," he said. I scoffed.
"Keep dreaming," I said but didn't face him.
"I do. Every night. One dream I remember specifically. On the beach with you wearing a white sundress." My eyes widened and I snapped back around to face him.
"What did you say?"
"Just a dream I had recently. We were on the beach and you were in a nice white sundress that showed off your amazing figure." I ignored his last comment but couldn't stop my racing mind as it retraced the dream I had in the Strigoi home. It felt so real that I thought we were free but Adrian asked where we were and I realized we were still trapped. Still, the dream he was talking about was the exact dream I had.
"Did we have the same dream? How is that possible?" I asked.
"Because I made it," he answered but that confused me more.
"Made it?"
"It's my dream." He said and I waited for him to elaborate. "Lissa told me her strongest talent with spirit was healing. Well, this is one of mine. I call it dream walking."
"So you walked into my dream?"
"No. I pulled you into my mind while you were asleep to find out where you were," he explained.
"So that was real?"
"Real in my mind. I created everything down to what you were wearing. I made it feel real but you were still in that house." All the pieces suddenly clicked together.
"That's how the guardians got to us. You told them," I said more to myself than him. "Why didn't you do it sooner? We could have gotten out quicker and maybe Mason would still be here."
"It's not that simple. You have to be asleep and every time I tried you were probably awake. But it is also hard on me. I have to be nearly completely sober to do it," he explained.
"So you would rather sit on your ass with a bottle on one hand and a cigarette in the other than help," I accused. I was starting to get mad. I may have stopped playing the blame game with myself and the others there with me but that didn't mean I didn't blame others and right now Adrian had all the fingers pointing to him.
"No. I sobered myself up the moment we found out you guys had left. I tried over and over but I couldn't get through until I found a spot where I could pull you through. And no matter what you may think, I'm not that bad. You have seen the effects of spirit on Lissa. It made her angry. Turned her into someone she isn't?" I nodded. "That's the darkness. Every time we use our gift a small bit of darkness comes from it and each time we use it that darkness builds until it explodes and completely changes a person no matter who they are. Lissa is using the pills to help but she can't use the magic. I can't bear to be without the magic so I don't take the pills. Instead, I drink and smoke and party to numb my magic," he explained.
"Self-medicating," I finished and he nodded.
"It keeps the darkness at bay."
"Maybe for now but as you said it just builds and builds and alcohol and drugs are not the healthiest way to cure it."
"Maybe not but it works," he said.
"It won't forever," I told him.
"I know and that is why I am here to work with Lissa on spirit and find ways to keep the darkness away while learning some new abilities," he said.
"What new abilities?" I asked.
"Spirit users have more abilities than we know but I believe Lissa and I can teach each other our abilities to see if we can learn new things and then we can develop more from there."
"What else can you do?" I asked.
"I can see auras,"
"Auras?"
"Auras are like coulours. They surround every person and can show how they are feeling. It's also how I found out Lissa was a Spirit user as well," he explained.
"What do you mean?"
"When I looked at Lissa's Aura, it was gold. I had seen all colors and shades. A few silvers every once and a while but her aura was one that I had only seen a couple of times and was the same as mine. That's when I knew she was like me." I took a couple of seconds to process this. We had been researching other spirit users and had only found Miss Karp and St. Vladimir as spirit users. I guess Lissa would want to find others like her. We now had Adrian, who had amazing abilities he could teach Lissa to do but there were others out there who could have even more abilities that could do so much. Adrian said he could see Lissa was a spirit user through her golden aura but he also said he spotted others with the same aura. We could now spot spirit users and we could bring them all together and bring the long-lost element back to its former glory.
"So you have seen other spirit users?" I asked impatiently.
"Yeah, a couple."
"Why haven't you tried to work with them on it?" I asked getting frustrated at his lack of interest.
"I did. They didn't listen."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, going up to a stranger and telling them they have a special forgotten element with amazing abilities that allow them to read auras and dream walk, kind of gives off a kind of crazy vibe and instead of them wanting to work with you they end up running away." He had a point there. If I didn't know about spirit and all it could do, I would think he was crazy as well.
"I see your point," I told him and folded my arms across my chest and turned my head to avoid making eye contact.
"So Lissa is the first other spirit user I have met who knows what she is and what she can do and wants to learn. Sorry to break it to you little Dhampir but I'm staying for a while." He said and walked away. I didn't stop him. instead, I turned around and walked back into the hall, grabbed a tray of food and sat down with my friends.
"So what did Adrian want?" asked Lissa.
"He just said he was here to work on spirit and then made a bunch of sexual jokes," I told them putting on my best face and steady voice.
"Sounds like Adrian," said Lissa
"Yeah," I agreed. I hated lying but I would have to if I wanted to make it to graduation.