Disclaimer- I own nothing

Author's Note: Thank you all for your review. I updated Lingering Kiss for anyone who reads that!

-Lily

2 weeks later

Time had flown by, Keith was recuperating nicely, and Karen was constantly by his side evaluating every intake of breath and deep sigh that her husband experienced. Lucas had experienced a mix of emotions but as everything had settled down, he was finally able to enjoy the remaining time before Winter Formal, able to plan the perfect night for Brooke.

It still amazed him how lucky he truly was to find someone as special as she, at such a young age. He had never envisioned a future outside of basketball, one that included a cozy home with children's laughter filling the vents, traveling to every which room, one that included a wife. He figured one day it would happen, one day his parents would beg for him to settle down, and he would do just that, settle. But with Brooke, everyday was a possibility for more; everyday excited him and made him was to strive for bigger and better things. He could look into the future and see himself, opening the door to his home, finding feet running along the wooden floor to meet him, a wife's smile gleaming as he took his coat off. However optimistic he was, he didn't care, because every time his mind wandered to those thoughts, there was always one thing familiar, and that was the dimpled smile, the gleaming brunette hair, the laugh that caused him to feel appreciated and love. It was always Brooke. He often wondered if he should be so attached, they weren't even officially dating, but then she would walk in the room, and his mind would be put at ease. Because he knew that in all due time, they would get to that stage, they would have everything that any couple should have, and more.

"Hey," Nathan said, catching Lucas from his thoughts.

"Hey," Lucas greeted with a smile, burying his hands into his pockets to avoid the chilly weather.

"So I was just wondering what your plans were for tonight, do you want to do a group thing, or are you just going to head over with Brooke?" Nathan questioned, referring to the dance that had quickly arrived.

"I didn't have any plans for before," Lucas commented, thinking back to everything he wanted to do with Brooke, this being her first Winter Formal at the school, and this being his first dance to ever actually go with a date. Normally he would ask whomever he was sleeping with that week, it was easier that way. They would take pictures, smile for the cameras that flashed and laughed at the jokes that were told at dinner. He would leave her midway a song to dance with the rest of the girls, and in the end, take his date home to finish the night properly. It was all routine. But with Brooke, nothing was the same, and maybe that was why it was all exciting, it was all new.

"But you have plans for after, don't you," Nathan joked, raising his eyebrows as he elbowed Lucas in the ribs.

"Yeah," Lucas smiled, ignoring the pain that resulted in the physical contact with his cousin.

"Nice. You'll have to tell me if it was better than normal. Winter Formal changes girls, I'm telling you…" Nathan told him seriously but chuckled at the end when Lucas looked like a deer in the headlights.

"What are you talking about?" Lucas asked, somewhat appalled, obviously not following Nathan's train of thought.

"You and Brooke, you know," Nathan smiled and Lucas shook his head in irritation.

"No, Brooke and I aren't having sex," Lucas said firmly, lowering his voice as other students walked by. They didn't need to know about his personal life; especially about he was or was not doing with Brooke behind closed doors.

"You aren't?" Nathan asked, looked at him, his face full of questions. "Does she not want to?"

"No, she does, I think, I mean we kind of talked about it," Lucas said, thinking back. They had talked about, he had told her that they would wait until they were in love, that it would be both of their first times. But that was the extent of it. Did she have concerns, was she scared, did she only want to because it was something she thought he wanted?

"You might want to get that clear," Nathan, reasoned, furrowing his brows.

"Why, it doesn't change anything," Lucas said after a moment, the two boys walking side by side, looking away from the girls that tried desperately to get their attentions. They used to be absorbed in it, but now, it was simply obnoxious and unnecessary.

"Well you can't just go in without her consent," Nathan chuckled.

"I don't plan on going in right now anyways and can we not use the term 'go in'," Lucas said. He did not want to convey his experiences with Brooke with those words, especially in the company of Nathan.

"She's really changed you," Nathan said. He had always known Lucas was changing, becoming a better person, someone that his parents would be proud of, someone he could be proud of. But he had never known to what extent, that the transformation was honest and true and still taking place. He glanced at the blonde boy and truly saw not the same person, someone who would jump into bed at the flick of a switch, but rather a person, with feelings and morals.

"Sometimes I wondered if it was for the best," Lucas commented, sitting down on a nearby bench, ignoring the numbing feeling that seeped through his jeans.

"What are you talking about?" Nathan asked, not sure where he was going with the claim.

"I just, I used to be able and go and have sex with whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And its not that I miss sex, although sometimes I do, but its more than that. Being the person I was, I could do anything, I was limitless and through that, I was carefree and unyielding. I answered to nobody and nobody answered to me. But with Brooke, Nathan, I have no control. I changed from a person who had sex, someone who was cocky and for all I know, obnoxious…" Lucas went on before Nathan interrupted him.

"Definitely obnoxious," he chuckled and Lucas smiled.

"But I, maybe I changed for the better, but maybe in doing so, I lost myself. And I'm not sure that makes sense, but it feels right. I became someone who was open and honest, and I found who I could be, but I lost almost all of who I was. I lost my passion for basketball and my love for reading, and in escaping into this foreign world where I could be anyone. And in the beginning, those words acted as an outlet, I could leave this reputation I felt like I had to uphold and go inside another one, be another person. And I found that I truly enjoyed doing so. But now, I don't need that getaway, I'm happy with who I am and running away into the words of a book, it seems weak. And basketball, I used to get this feeling inside of them, like nobody could harm me, that I was unstoppable. You probably feel the same way, winning a game, or blocking a shot, it overcomes you and you can't help but feel like for a moment, you were on top, that for a moment, every person in the room, wanted to be you. I lost those emotions. Brooke is now, number one in my life, and I would do nothing to replace that. I am falling in love with her and there is no stopping it, there is no going back, even if I wanted to. But I have spent all of my time wanting to be with her, fighting for her, desperately trying to be this person that she can rely on and trust and then this thing with my dad, I just, I feel like I don't know who I am. Or more so, that I've completely lost myself. I am glad to be this honest person that can accept who I am, but have I really changed? I still don't open to other people; I still don't stand up in front of class and read the poems that I continually write for English. I don't allow people to see me; I don't give them a chance to judge. Somehow I opened up to Brooke, and in doing so I allowed her in, as well as the other people close to me. But, what about everyone else? It's easy to be yourself in a group of your friends, but being who you are to strangers, Nathan, I haven't done that," Lucas confessed, putting his head in his hands.

"You've changed, Lucas, whether you can see it or not, but you have. And people notice and maybe they haven't made a big deal because maybe they already knew the person you could be. Maybe you were the only person who was blind. But I have to ask this, are you regretful for Brooke? I know that you say that you are falling in love with her, and I see it so I know you're not lying. But you sound like you wish you hadn't changed, that you have lost so much, when I think you have gained even more."

"I don't regret Brooke," Lucas said, his head snapping up. "I just feel like, and maybe I am not wording it the right way, but that I just lost myself. That I've focused so much on Brooke and changing to be with her, that I've forgotten everything else that I enjoy. I just, I want to do something rash and exciting. I'm sick of planning and trying to figure everything out. I just, I want do something that makes me feel like carefree like I used to," Lucas said, getting up from the bench. "I got to go," he turned to Nathan and walked away, leaving a confused brunette in his wake.

"I have no idea what just happened," Nathan said to himself as he walked in the opposite direction.

--

Lucas walked around the school, his mind a confused place with words streaming through his thoughts, running and sprinting, a jumbled mess. He didn't regret Brooke, or the change that he had experience, but simply the person he was, the person he grew up being. He was glad to have Brooke, to be hers and to not bed a new girl a night, or fight off the crowds searching for someone worthy of his time. He had this magnificent person and he would never replace her. For as long as she wanted him, he would be there. But that was the problem; he would spend every hour with her, already so attached, and be whomever she wanted. And in all truth, it wasn't healthy. He shouldn't want someone so much, emotionally, at such a young age. He still needed to be his own person, to connect to the world. He didn't want to crash if ever Brooke didn't want him. When he goes to college, he will have to learn to cope without her persistent presence.

--

"Do you think he'll like it?" Brooke asked, standing in front of the full-length mirror, appraising her appearance.

"Brooke, look at you," Lily smiled, standing behind her friend as she zipped the back of the dress.

"But will he like it? Maybe he would have wanted someone shorter or more revealing or a different color, I don't know," Brooke rushed, running her hands through her undone hair.

"Brooke, you could wear a bag and my brother would still think you're gorgeous. You have him completely wound along your finger and you don't even realize. He is crazy about you, Brooke Davis," Lily smiled, so glad that she could finally say this to a girl about her brother, so glad that she was able to witness the change in Lucas that she had so desperately wanted.

"But I just want to look nice, I want him to just, I don't know, I want him to look at me with those blue eyes and know immediately that this night is going to be simply amazing," Brooke smiled, looking towards the ceiling she imagined her fantasy night, Lucas's mouth falling open, her breath catching at how he looked. But through the whole fantasy, she desired foremost, to be his girlfriend, to know that he was hers, and she, his.

"Brooke he already looks at you with those eyes, he only sees you, which is really annoying when I am sitting in the room," Lily chuckled. "But you two are going to have a great night, just don't worry about it."

"Okay," Brooke breathed.

"No sit down and I will try to tame this wild mess you call hair," Lily laughed, brushing Brooke's smooth brunette hair, locks that any girl would kill to have.

--

Lily watched as each spiral fell perfectly down her shoulders, cascaded onto her back with a ripple and a wave. Brooke stood before her like a model from a magazine her red dress flowing from an imaginary wind. The vertical ruching in the bust line, the low v-cut back, the way it fit her curves, it was all perfect.

She couldn't lie, looking at Brooke filled her with jealousy, that someone could be so beautiful and generous, kind and loving. It was like Brooke could do nothing wrong, she had the perfect body and complexion, but through the outside, past the looks, she was beautiful on the inside. And yes, she knew her thoughts sounded cliché, but did people really deserve to be both? Did someone with looks and money truly need to be optimistic and bubbly, smart and appreciative? Did someone with talents above the common man need the full package, while others had nothing?

"You look gorgeous, Brooke," Lily said softly.

"So do you," Brooke agreed.

"I'm not dressed yet," Lily chuckled.

"But you always look pretty, and tonight will be no different."

"We are so corny sometimes," Lily laughed, done with the sentimental emotions.

"And that's why we are best friends," Brooke chuckled, hugging the blonde friend, someone that she had grown so close to.

"Yeah, yeah. When is Lucas picking you up?"

"15 minutes ago," Brooke said, now looking at the clock. "Do you think he forgot? Is he not coming? Damn it Lily, I shouldn't have thought…" Brooke went on.

"Brooke, he'll be here. What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"I just, I feel like at any minute he will move on. I want this night to be perfect, to let go off the past and for a night completely enjoy ourselves. It's all be working so well between us and I am head over heels, but why me, Lily? Why out of every single girl, he would choose a sophomore. He's had sex and I've done… nothing. And I feel terrible because he has assured me that its all okay, that we will work and I believe him, but I still doubt it all. I just, is there a reason he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet?" Brooke asked, frantic.

"Brooke, you have got to stop doubting yourself and just accept the fact that he likes you and wants to take it slow. My brother would have easily jumped for the opportunity to have sex with someone and as much as I hate that, I cannot deny who he was. But Brooke, that's not him. He is falling for you and you just need to let it all happen when it will happen. The reason he hasn't asked you out is because he wants you to be different, he wants you to know that he is serious," Lily explained.

"I know, but the more he changes, the less I deserve him. He is just, he's perfect and I denied the attraction I felt in the beginning simply because I didn't want to become just another girl. But now, now he has done so much to prove that I'm not, that I'm something special. I am so attached to him that I cannot imagine a future without him. But I am 15 years old, he will be going to college, I shouldn't feel this way."

"Brooke?"

"What?" she asked, her head between her hands as she snapped it up hearing a new voice. "Hey," she smiled as the blonde came into view, Lucas shutting the door behind as he leaned against the wall, dressed to the tea.

"Come here," he smiled, reaching out his hands for her to come to him, nodding to the door for Lily to leave and obligingly, she did.

"You look great," Brooke smiled, looking at him from head to toe and back up again, once again unsure as to how she had become so lucky.

"I don't even compare to you, Brooke. You look, beautiful," he said, settling for the only word that even remotely came close to how she was dressed, her perfection radiating through her every movement.

"Thanks," she said softly, peeking at him through her curled eyelashes.

"Come on, let's talk," Lucas said, intertwining his fingers with hers, leading her out of the door and into the cool, coming evening. The grey sky was decorated with awakening stars, bringing them forth from their sleep, forcing them to shine above the school, above the world.

They were silent as they simply walked, enjoying the company of the other, both of them thinking about their feelings. Lucas wanted her, he wanted her more than anything and to make it official was the last step, make it known that his heart only belonged to her. But he missed that part of him that was carefree and untroubled by the world. To go out and play basketball without the scout's eyes constantly watching, to read simply to escape. He had tried so hard to win the brunette's heart, that in doing so, lost the things he enjoyed.

She glanced over to the brooding blonde, soft and subtle, his features were so similar to that of a boy's. It was more that not being worth him, but she felt guilty to monopolize him for so long. She had constantly wondered that although proud of his transformation, if she had taken a part of him that one day he would miss. He had made a complete turn around and she had welcomed him with open arms, but to ever find that down the road he missed things about being the person he was, that would destroy her. Never would she want him to jeopardize his happiness and success at the expense of her.

"I heard you talking to Lily," Lucas said eventually, looking down at the gorgeous girl, someone he was so lucky to just be in the presence of.

"Oh," Brooke replied softly.

"If you ever, for one moment think that you are not worth my time, you come to me. Because, Brooke, you are more worth my time than anything I could dream of. You are happy and light and this amazing girl that has somehow allowed me in. You don't see yourself like the rest of the world, independent and brave, loving and compassionate, you encompass the beauty of a thousand women. Your laughter can bring up my day, no matter how bad I thought it was, and your smile, your smile would make me melt a hundred times over. If anything, I don't deserver to be with you. You're pure and innocent, and I'm not, in now way. If I could take back the person I was, the sleeping around with girls and treating them like sexual objects for my desire, I would. But, I can't. However, being with you, it's like that part of me doesn't exist, like I somehow posses part of that innocence when I am with you."

"I didn't mean it like that, I just, you changed and Lucas I love the guy that I see before me. You are someone of hope and success, but I feel like I have robbed you of some of that joy. I want to be with you but I don't want to take you away from basketball, and although you have told me countless times that you treasure me above sports and material items, I wouldn't want you to disregard them all together. You're going to college soon and…" Brooke began before he stopped not only her, but walking all together.

"College, huh?" Lucas asked, standing in front of her, lifting her chin as she nodded softly.

"It's only time before you get a scholarship from some big town basketball place, college place," she chuckled at the end, rubbing her forehead, but getting her point across.

"I didn't want to get into this tonight, but now that this has come up. I got accepted to a college place," Lucas smiled softly, trying to joke, but the seriousness inevitable.

"Where to?" Brooke asked, excited at the prospects of him stepping closer to his dream, but sad that it would bring him from her.

"University of Georgia he said seriously, watching her face not change emotion.

"Well that's great, I can still come and visit," Brooke put on a happy face.

"It's about 5 hours."

"I can…"

"Stop trying to put on this happy face, Brooke. Because if I take the scholarship, it is going to kill me to go away from you, I cannot imagine not seeing you every single day, not being able to protect you everyday. And it's not good for me to be this attached, but I don't think there is any other way. Because you know what, if I had to go to a community college and play basketball on a concrete court, just to be near you, I would. But to go to another state and play in a gym with other guys and never be able to look into the crowd and see you cheering, or on the sidelines, there would be no point. Basketball used to be this world for me, something that nobody could take away, and at the beginning of today, I wondered that if changing to get you, I lost myself. But you know what, even if I have lost some of me, I have gained so much more. Because as much as I love those things, I would give them up for you, and I know I've said that before, but with every minute that goes by, they become more true. I am going to go to college and so are you, but where, that isn't the part that matters. You are apart of this process and Brooke, I don't want to leave you behind," Lucas said, trying to put truth to all of this words. His questions slowly being answered, his concerns with Nathan washing away when he stared into the angelic face of his soon-to-be girlfriend.

"Lucas," Brooke began.

"Let's go," he said, his face excited and lively, prospects filling his mind, his eyes newly lit.

"What are you talking about, where?" Brooke questioned, holding his hand tightly as to bring him back to the ground.

"Anywhere, just away from this, away from school and basketball. Let's just go somewhere, me and you, please," he asked, slowly begging her.

"I have school and the dance is starting soon and what about Lily and Jake and how would we get there? Lucas, we can't," Brooke reasoned with him.

"We can, my dad has a plane and I have a car to get us to the airport. It's perfect, please, let's just get away from all of these ideas that you are better than me, or the absurd thought you have that I am better than you. We have been so tied up in my dad and the rapid pace this is all happening that we haven't had a time to just step back and enjoy it all. We are in a good place, let's take a trip and completely lose our notions and have fun, be carefree, doesn't that sound fun?" Lucas asked, wanting so much to get away, to be with Brooke.

"Yes, but…"

"No buts, Brooke, yes or no?"

--

Author's Note- Thank you all for reading. I know a lot of these feelings have been discussed many times in other chapters, but I guess that I just want you to understand where their heads are and that these emotions don't just disappear. Lucas is going to realize, like he already has, that being with Brooke has ramifications, once people know they are going to see him different and there will be no hiding, and he is going to have to understand the reality of his words. It is one thing to say that choosing Brooke is what he is willing to do, but it is another to face the fact that he would never achieve his life long dream of basketball. This in no way means that his choice is wrong, but simply that it is not as easy as it seems. Brooke's thoughts are more going to be of a young girl caught up in this world of Lucas, a senior. She realizes he is going to college, but once again, when the time comes for him to decide where he is going, it will all become more real. The trip is in fact an idea of Lucas's to just get away, to simply enjoy the time they have together and simply be kids. I hope that makes sense.

Sara- Thank you so much for your review, they are always just so sweet, and I know I say that all the time, but it is always true. I am always so excited to not just find that I have a new review, but that it is from you, because I can always count on the fact that it will inspire yet another chapter. Thank you for always taking the time to write your opinions on the chapter, it means so much. The college thing was simply brushed on, but as Lucas is given more options, the more difficult things are going to become. I never want my words in a chapter to have any of my readers lose hope in Brucas and them working because they have just started and I will not tear them down easily. They will have rough patches, but so does every relationship. I know that this chapter has a lot of emotions about the two, and no, they are not all lovey dovey, but realistic, at least they are to me, so whether that is portrayed, I am not sure. But these are two people at different places in their lives, trying to combine their worlds in hopes that a beautiful reality will form. Brooke is younger, less experienced, and she is going to go through emotions of having a boyfriend older than herself, the continual doubt, so on. Although these feelings will not last forever, they will still be prominent until their relationship becomes official. Lucas, he is older, and has although found someone he could spend the rest of his live with, he is coming to terms with the fact that things are not going to be easy, and that he will make sacrifices. He doesn't regret Brooke, but is realizing that through wanting her desperately, he has lost himself, somewhat. But they are things that will not take long to find, and Brooke will be there, always. I hope this makes sense. I wrote this chapter on two different days, so there is a chance the emotions don't match in the beginning and in end (normally I sit down and just write until its done) so hopefully everything will go okay! Well I have to stop now but thanks again for reviewing!

Diane- Thank you for the review!