Love in the Time of Chaos

Summary: AU. [Post Faceless, Nameless] "Being loved deeply by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." (Lao Tzu) A different take on the events of Season 5. Hotch/JJ pairing.

Rating: T

Author's Note: I can not apologize enough for how long it's taken me to update! I've honestly had no time lately, and I'm really sorry for taking so long! You guys are truly amazing for staying with me and this story, and I genuinely appreciate the support and encouragement you've given to both. Thanks so much for staying with the story, I hope you enjoy the drama...I mean chapters...to come. As always, if you feel so inclined, please drop a review! Thanks again!

Aaron was losing his mind. He frantically flipped through the pages of the tiny notebook in his hand, desperate to find whatever it was that Arnold was hiding. He could hear Arnold's cocky laugh and JJ's concerned voice in the background, but he couldn't focus on anything but the tiny book in his hands.

"Hotch." JJ tried to keep her voice level and even, refusing to give Arnold any more pleasure from the situation at hand, but Aaron was scaring her. He didn't even seem to hear her as he continued to focus solely on the notebook and no where else. "Hotch."

JJ's eyes flickered to Arnold where he was leaning back in his chair, completely relaxed with a happy look on his face. JJ wanted nothing more than to beat that stupid grin right off his smug face, but she was too concerned about Aaron to give the sadistic creep the beating he so richly deserved. Aaron was seconds away from tearing the small notebook apart and JJ could see how badly Arnold was getting to him.

Arnold, for his part, just sat back and happily watched the scene unfold. He glanced briefly at the pretty blonde in the room, suddenly terribly pleased she had accompanied Agent Hotchner on his little visit. She was just as upset about the situation as Hotchner was, though she was doing a much better job at concealing her anxiety. "I can't believe you can't see what he's doing."

"What is going on?" JJ was growing more and more concerned with each page flip. Aaron must have gone through the entire thing twice already, but he wasn't stopping. "Aaron!"

"He's torturing him!"

"Who?"

"It's great to see you squirm Agent Hotchner!"

Aaron's hands finally stopped as he found what he was looking for; he froze as he stared down at the newspaper clipping, JJ's face smiling up at him from the paper. He was too stunned to look at the real JJ, who still stood directly beside him. He could hear the tiny gasp that escaped her as she saw the newspaper clipping of herself, but he hoped Arnold was too far away to hear. If he hadn't heard her gasp, he definitely heard her as the realization finally sunk in for both of them.

"Foyet." JJ's voice was barely above a whisper and she could feel every fiber of every inch of her entire body begin to shake. Aaron dropped everything onto the table, grabbed JJ's hand and pulled her out of the room and as far away from Arnold as possible.

"He knew you'd come!" He knew Arnold was still laughing after the doors slammed shut behind him, but he just held JJ's hand and pulled her down the hallway, his eyes staring straight ahead the whole time. JJ kept pace with Aaron as much as she possibly could, her eyes glued on him. As terrified as she was that Foyet had sent her picture to Arnold, she was more terrified for Aaron. She knew how much this was tearing him apart.

JJ didn't let go of his hand until they made it outside of the building where Aaron eventually released her to lean heavily against their SUV. JJ watched from a distance for a moment, taking in the tension in Aaron's shoulders and how his entire body was moving with each breath he took. She finally moved closer and leaned against the door right next to him. Her eyes softened as she looked at his face, his eyes clenched tightly shut. She reached up and rested her hand on his arm, and he relaxed minimally. "Aaron."

Aaron kept his eyes shut and continued to breathe heavily, but his face angled slightly in JJ's direction. He sighed and pushed back against the SUV, standing right next to JJ and taking a deep breath before looking at her. "Will you finally consider protective custody now?"

JJ was genuinely taken back by Aaron's suggestion. They had talked about JJ entering into a witness protection detail a few times but JJ had always managed to nip that topic in the butt before they truly discussed it. She could tell by the look in Aaron's eyes that it wouldn't be so easy to blow off this time. "No. I've told you, I'm not going into protective custody. End of discussion." JJ squeezed Aaron's shoulder before swiftly moving to the other side of the vehicle, jumping in the passenger seat before Aaron could make a rebuttal.

"Aaron, it's not going to happen. Period!" JJ threw open the door of her hotel room, Aaron hot on her heels as she threw her bag and coat down on one of the beds. Aaron stopped towards the front of the room as JJ made her way further in, moving around and keeping herself busy in order to avoid the conversation at hand.

"You honestly think we're not going to talk about this? JJ, Foyet isn't just going away, he's not going to stop. You have to consider what's best for you."

JJ continued moving all around the room, her body unable to remain still. "Well, I don't think what's best for me is running away! It's not going to happen."

Aaron sighed, both of their frustration levels growing as the conversation progressed. "It's not running away, it's keeping you safe."

JJ laughed, but Aaron could hear both the sarcasm and the underlying worry behind it. He hated the idea of sending JJ away, hated the idea that she would be away from him with everything inside of him, but he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. "I'm not doing it regardless of what you call it. End of discussion."

"Bullshit end of discussion." JJ's attention snapped to Aaron, a glare on both of their faces as they tried to stare each other down. "JJ, you can't keep acting like this isn't a big deal."

"I understand this is a big deal Aaron." JJ felt petty for saying his name with such an annoyed tone of voice, and she could see the frustration flash across his face, but she was getting desperate to stop the current conversation. "But I'm ten times safer here with you and the team than I am with some random protection detail. I'm not leaving my home."

"You can stay in Virginia if it's that important to you. The team and I can only keep you so safe when Foyet knows exactly where you are. He knows where you work, where you live, where I live, he could find you any time he wanted to. There's only so much I can do to prevent that from happening when you're such an easy target."

JJ scoffed and stopped moving around, her hands on her hips as she tried once again to stare Aaron down. "Easy target? Aaron, I'm a federal agent-"

"And I'm unit chief of the BAU, that didn't stop him from getting to me." JJ was taken back, her argument dying on her lips as she realized the truth of Aaron's words. She took a moment to regroup before throwing her hands up, resuming her frantic movements.

"I'm not going anywhere, it's ridiculous-"

"Goddamn it JJ, I am NOT going to lose you!" JJ stopped dead, her whole body freezing as she stared at Aaron. She could count on one hand the amount of times she had ever heard Aaron raise his voice, and she felt her resolve begin to break down at the desperation in Aaron's voice. "I told you when we first got together that I can't lose you. It would kill me JJ. I can't risk your safety, and if you're not willing to put yourself first above all else, you can be damn certain that I will."

JJ felt tears begin to form in her eyes but she tried to blink them away. "I'm not leaving."

As JJ's resolve broke down, Aaron's grew stronger. "JJ, you need to put your own safety first. We both know what Foyet is capable of, what he's willing to do. I'm not willing to risk your life and your safety. You have to be safe."

JJ shook her head, the first few tears falling down her face. Aaron could feel tears in his own eyes as he watched the woman he loved so much struggle, but he had to do this to keep her safe. "JJ, I can't lose you, I don't know how to survive that. You're too important to me. I won't let you stay here if it's not absolutely safe for you. You know protective custody is best for you."

JJ kept shaking her head, her breathing growing heavier. "I'm not leaving!"

Aaron felt his frustration level continue to rise. "JJ, you know it's what's best for you!"

"I'm not leaving!"

"JJ, why can't you just-" JJ rushed forward and jumped into Aaron's arms, her mouth crashing against his in order to shut him up. She meant for the kiss to be passionate and loving, a persuasion for him to let her stay. Instead, the kiss was desperate, frantic, and terrified; JJ felt tears fall even with her eyes closed as she realized she was going to have to walk away from the one man she loved more than anything else.

Aaron picked JJ up and held her against him, kissing her just as desperately, terrified to lose contact with her. JJ pulled away and held him close, tears falling freely from her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder. Aaron held JJ as tightly as he could, kissing every inch of her he could reach, tears falling from his eyes as well. "I don't want to leave you Aaron."

Aaron kissed her again and sat the two of them down on the bed, JJ sitting directly in his lap. "JJ, I will get you back sweetheart, I swear to God. This isn't permanent, but you have to be safe."

JJ couldn't stop crying. The idea of leaving Aaron was suffocating her. "I'm scared Aaron."

Aaron hugged JJ closer, more tears falling from his eyes. "I am too baby, it's ok." He reached forward and wiped her cheeks with his thumb, trying to stop his own tears from falling. His actions just made JJ cry harder. "JJ, I will stop Foyet. I promise, I will get him."

"I know you will, I just don't understand why I can't stay with you!"

The sight of JJ crying in his arms was almost enough to get Aaron to cave. He would do anything to give JJ everything she ever wanted, to keep her with him every second of the day, but he knew he had to focus on her safety, not his own wants and needs. He reached up and wiped her fresh tears off her face before pulling her to him, resting his chin on top of her head. "I love you so much."

JJ sniffled, relaxing into Aaron's chest as his arms held her tightly against him. "I love you too Aaron."

"JJ, do you wish I had made the deal?"

It had been four hours since Aaron and JJ had made the decision that JJ would enter protective custody upon returning to Quantico, and the couple was still holed up in JJ's hotel room. Aaron was laying on his left side, his arm wrapped around JJ's waist as she laid on her right side. They had been lying there for the past few hours, talking and spending time together. They knew it wouldn't be long until they weren't allowed to communicate at all, and they were going to make every second count.

JJ didn't quite know what to make of Aaron's current inquiry. She stayed silent as she studied him, trying to figure out what exactly he was getting at. Aaron sighed and broke eye contact for a moment before looking back at JJ. "Do you wish I had agreed to stop hunting him when he offered me the chance?"

JJ tried to stop herself but she couldn't; she giggled at his question, which puzzled Aaron. "Oh Aaron…no."

Aaron released the breath he didn't even realize he was holding, making JJ giggle more. She leaned forward and kissed his nose, earning a smile from Aaron. "It's adorable how much you worry. Did you honestly think I would say yes?"

JJ made it sound ridiculous, but Aaron honestly had considered the possibility that she'd say yes. The only reason she was in this position was because Aaron had stood against Foyet and refused to play his game. JJ would never have been in the current situation she was if Aaron had taken the deal that night in Boston. JJ smiled at Aaron, reaching out to rest her palm against his cheek. "Aaron, I love you. I love you because of who you are. You're not the type of man who could make a deal like that, I know that. I would never want you to because it goes against everything you stand for. You don't have it in you to make that deal. You couldn't have agreed to it if you tried."

She paused, momentarily lost in the man before her; she would never understand what she had done to deserve a man like Aaron Hotchner. "Yes, this situation is hell. But…Aaron, if you had made that deal, you wouldn't be the man that you are. And that's not something that I could live with." JJ leaned forward, pressing her lips against Aaron's. "I wouldn't love if you had made that deal, Aaron."

Aaron sat up, staring down at JJ, the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument. "JJ, I promise I will not stop until I bring you home as fast as I can. No matter what it takes. I will live in the office if I have to, I'll do whatever…"

JJ sat up, meeting his eyes straight on, staring at him with matching intensity in her eyes. "No."

Aaron paused, waiting for her to continue but she just kept staring at him. "No?"

JJ shook her head, her eyes and tone completely serious. "I'm not going anywhere if you're going to work yourself to death as soon as I go. I want someone to come back to Aaron!" He had opened his mouth to argue but stopped at her words. "I want to come back to you, and I can't do that if you kill yourself over this."

Aaron moved to respond again, but JJ shook her head, a smile on her face as she pushed him back down on the bed, lying on her side to face him once again. She reached up and rested a hand on his face. "Bring me home. Fast!" The both chuckled lightly, Aaron's a bit shorter than hers. "But do not kill yourself in the process. No missing other, more important cases that need you. No terrorizing the team because they aren't focusing on Foyet 24/7. No skipping meals or working nonstop without sleep. And absolutely no sleeping in your office, as you've been prone to do in the past."

Aaron sighed, wanting to argue but knowing he didn't have that option. He closed his eyes, as JJ kissed his cheek and leaned her forehead against his. "Promise?"

Aaron chuckled, leaning forward to actually kiss JJ properly on the lips. "You love making me promise you things."

JJ laughed slightly. "Yeah, well, I've never seen you break one." The two shared another smile and a kiss. "Promise me, Aaron."

Aaron nodded as JJ knew he would. "I promise JJ." He sighed, reaching up to cover the hand JJ still had resting on his cheek, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I don't know how to be away from you. I don't know how to survive this."

JJ gave him a small smile, but she knew they were both in for a long road. Aaron had already been forced to send Jack away, a hardship Aaron was still suffering from, but now he was losing one more person. "You remember that I love you more than anything. You keep working with the team; don't alienate them just because I'm missing, they care about you almost as much as I do. You work the profile, locate the bastard and take him down so I can come home to you."

Aaron rolled onto his back, pulling JJ with him so her body lined up with his, her head resting on his chest. He kissed her forehead, ignoring the small amount of moisture invading his eyes. "I love you."

JJ curled tighter into Aaron's chest as the first tear made its way down her cheek. "I love you too."