Disclaimer: I own nothing.
My Secret Sin
Chapter Twenty One: Minefield Up Ahead
With Renee and Carlisle's pregnancy Edward and I kept ourselves scarce. We didn't want to be around them at all. The morning after they told us they were having a baby we ended up witnessing their affections towards one another over breakfast. It was enough to make me hurl, and Edward felt the same way too.
The two of them were practically beaming and it just made everything uncomfortable. Neither Edward nor I wanted to imagine our parents together in any way. Knowing they had created a life together was also sickening. Due to this we avoided them at all costs.
Edward was still having trouble dealing with the new development so I knew it was best to distract him as much as possible. Unfortunately my body only seemed to make matters worse. It was as though he was scared of us accidentally getting pregnant so he avoided sex altogether.
This did hurt me, to know he didn't want me physically but I was relieved to know he still wanted me around. If he was to cut ties now I would be a broken mess. After all, this was the guy I had fallen completely in love with.
The lack of intimacy lasted for about a week. It was incredibly hard for me, taking the physical aspect out of our relationship seeing as that was how we got together in the first place. Edward made it so kissing was uncomfortable, meaning we just stopped.
Emmett and Rose looked on worryingly throughout the week. No doubt they thought this was going to be the end of everything for me and my boy. I had a more hope than that, and rightfully so. The phase Edward was going through passed and he welcomed me back into his arms with a kiss on the Friday evening. It felt amazing just to be in his arms again. He spent that night making up the lost time and when I woke up Saturday everything seemed to be back to normal with us.
Edward had gone to meet some of his friends while I was going to lounge about the house. From what I knew no one had made plans. However, just after lunch I heard a group of them come in so knew Edward must have set something up. Without having to wait he came into my room.
He gave me a soft smile as he shut the door then came over, kissing me softly. I held him close to me, revelling in his scent and warmth while he spoke.
"Emmett and a few guys wanted to play rugby so I said they could play here. You want to come and watch?" My distaste towards the idea clearly shone through as Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Rosalie is here too."
"Alright then, I guess I should keep her company."
"That's the spirit." Edward helped me up off the bed which meant my body was inches away from his. I stepped forward and gave him a gentle kiss, not wanting to get too into anything with a group of folk downstairs.
"I missed that." He nodded and kissed me back.
"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry the whole baby thing freaked me out."
"I know, it's okay. Now come on, they're waiting."
The two of us stepped apart and made our way downstairs. Emmett had taken the rest of them outside, minus Rose, and was throwing a ball around. This set of guys I hadn't seen before and I had expected to see James, Felix and the others. Not minding either way I greeted Rose and grabbed a jacket prior to going out into the cold.
Edward kissed my cheek, clearly telling me the parents weren't home, and went on out, running over to Emmett. Rose linked her arm with mine and we walked out after him.
"You ready to play?" Em asked, smiling at Edward.
"You ready to lose?" he replied, grinning. Rose and I rolled out eyes and went to sit by the sidelines to watch. The other guys ran around some more, warming up, before starting.
Once they were in full game-mode and they were making plenty of noise Rose began talking. She clearly didn't want them to listen in on us, though I couldn't see why as we weren't exactly going to be talking about anything private.
"So, tell me, what's it like being in love with a prick?" she asked, eyeing up Emmett as he ran full out towards the trees, ball in hand. Earlier on in the week Rose had hunted me out to ask if I was in love with Edward and as I couldn't lie to her I admitted that I was.
"It's actually really good, not that he knows how I feel though."
"You better not tell him," she warned.
"Why?"
"Bella, it's Edward. That guy has serious commitment issues and I don't think he's going to welcome you with open arms if you said that to him. In fact, I'd bet on it that he would push you away."
"Is this another one of these things he has?"I asked, looking over Edward. He appeared normal on the outside -okay that's a lie, there's nothing normal about him but still- it just seemed weird that he had all these problems hidden under the surface.
"One of these things as in the virginity thing?" Rose asked for clarification.
"Yeah."
"Yep, this is one of these things. He doesn't believe he deserves love."
"What an idiot," I muttered, shaking my head.
"I agree with you there."
"His parents really did a number on him."
"Oh yeah," Rose agreed.
"Same with Emmett though," I pointed out.
"True, which is why he won't go out with me. Edward was kind enough to find out." That was news to me.
"Why won't he go out with you?"
"Edward never told you?" I shook my head and she grinned. "Someone's going to be in the dog house for that; glad I could help."
"Rose, answer the question."
"Yeah right, sorry. Emmett won't go out with me because he thinks he's going to turn into his father."
"His physically abusive father?" I asked.
"The very one." I whistled in shock and Rose nodded along in agreement.
"Emmett would never do that," I said, shaking my head at the thought of him hitting Rose.
"Oh I know, but he doesn't trust himself enough to take the risk. He worries that he'll suddenly get angry and do something stupid to me."
"Has he ever lost his temper before?"
"Not around me, and Edward says he hasn't in all the years he's known him. Jasper also agrees with that. They've never seen him lose his temper. Granted, he's beaten the crap out of some guys but when it comes to girls they said he's barely even lifted his voice. The guy's a saint, yet he doesn't trust himself. I trust him though."
"Do you think there's a chance he'll come around in time?"
"Possibly, the guys are working on him for me. Jasper is talking to him about it and so is Edward."
"Can I ask, in all honesty, do you really hate Edward?" I enquired. Surely she couldn't after all he's done for her regarding Emmett.
"Honestly, no I don't but if you tell him that I'll tear you limb from limb."
"Then why all the fights and arguments?"
"I did hate him. Before you came along Edward was a twat, like a Royce cardboard cut out and I couldn't stand it. You pitched up and he changed. I actually regard him as a friend now, just one I love to bicker with. Again, if you let him know about this I'll chop you up into little pieces and feed you to him." I laughed and shook my head.
"I won't tell him. I only asked because you're my closest friend and it would be easier knowing you don't hate my boyfriend."
"Well I don't hate him, most of the time." That was as good an answer I was going to get from Rose. "What are we doing after this?"
"I don't know. What do you want to do?" I asked, shrugging.
"Your boy's birthday is next week," she said, looking over at me.
"I know."
"Did you really?"
"I overheard my mother and Carlisle talking about it, so yes, I did."
"Fair enough. What are you getting him?" Rose asked.
"I have no idea. I don't know what he would want."
"Then would you like to go shopping for something? I need to go anyway to get him my gift but I need you there for that too."
"You're getting him something?"
"Yep, and don't act so surprised. I can be nice when I want to. So do you want to?"
"Yeah, sure," I answered, nodding my head. To be honest I was still a little shocked that Rose would want to get Edward a gift. Thanks to our earlier conversation I knew she didn't hate him but I would never have thought she'd go out her way to buy him something. "Where are we going to go, Port Angeles?"
"No, I want to go to Seattle."
"Seattle?"
"Yep. You have a problem with that?"
"Nope, it's fine." I shrugged and returned my focus to the game.
I hadn't quite grasped the game, despite my brief time playing it when I first moved in with the Cullens, but it was as brutal as I remember. Although I was trying to follow it I couldn't help but think my boy looked far too sexy running around shirtless and sweaty.
Of course they ended up being too warm while Rose and I sat freezing our asses off on a nearby bench watching. As they were too hot all the guys removed their tops, t-shirts, shirts etc. giving us a pretty fucking awesome view of their bodies. Even though there was all that eye candy I refused to acknowledge it, what with Edward's body in view. He had completely captured my attention with his gorgeous chest on show and with his flushed cheeks making him that much cuter.
The other guys ran around some more, throwing the ball back and forth, tackling and making some hard hits. It was sometimes a little sore to watch but overall it was good to see. A complete turn on to be honest, especially when Edward was involved.
God I wanted to jump to him.
There was no denying it, I was one hundred percent horny for him, and he didn't have a clue. The game still had another thirty minutes to go so there was nothing he could do about it. I would have to take matters into my own hands, literally.
"I'll be back in a minute," I said to Rose who was too busy drooling over Emmett to even hear me.
With her taken care of I scurried up to the house before anyone else outside noticed and let myself in. Once inside I moved quickly through the house and up the stairs to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
Ten minutes later my breathing was laboured and I was much closer to reaching my peak. It was taking longer than I thought it would. For some reason I just couldn't get the release I needed so much.
"What are you doing?" My eyes flew open at the sound of a voice and I looked straight to the door to see who caught me. I hadn't even heard anyone come in the house.
"Shut the fucking door will you!" Edward came in, looking rather peeved, and slammed the door, locking it behind him.
"You're pleasuring yourself!" he cried, shaking his head.
"Well what else would I be doing with my hand down there? Checking to see if I had a dick? Of course I was 'pleasuring myself', shit-face." I tended to get pretty angry when I had been startled.
"Why?"
"Why do you think?" I asked, now having completely stopped what I was doing.
"Stop answering my question with a question. Am I crap in bed?" he asked, wounded by the thought. I rolled my eyes and got up to bring him over to the bed.
"No, you're not, and you know that. I just wanted to get off and you weren't around."
"Call me; I'll come running if you told me you wanted sex." I rolled my eyes again and propped up my pillows, making myself comfortable despite being very uncomfortable down below. I was so fucking close and then he had to come in and ruin it.
"Can we make a deal?" I eyed him dubiously for a moment.
"What would the deal be?" I asked.
"Promise not to pleasure yourself."
"You follow that too?" He frowned but then nodded.
"Okay, we can do that. I promise not to do it again as long as you can get me off. But keep in mind you'll get some calls."
"And why's that a problem?" he said grinning and looking all cute again.
"Now come on, I have some unfinished business and you're going to help me out."
Edward's eyes lit up like a fucking Christmas tree at the prospect of sex. He practically pounced across the bed at me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as he pulled and pushed at my clothes, fighting to get them off.
"Will you hurry the fuck up?!" I groaned, throwing all of my clothes to the floor and began on his.
Once we were both undressed Edward began kissing at my neck. Gradually he leaned me down onto back and crouched over me. His eyes were full of lust as he moved my legs to either side of him, and quickly entered me.
We both moaned and then picked things up a bit but I wasn't really enjoying it. There wasn't exactly a lot of pleasure taking place, well at least not on my end of things. I tried to manipulate Edward's movements to get the satisfaction I was looking for but it just wasn't happening. Sighing I threw my head back on the pillow and just lay there, waiting for him to get over with it.
Suddenly Edward stopped and glared at me.
"What the fuck is wrong? You're lying there like a dead fish," he bitched. "Are you not enjoying yourself?"
"No, I'm not. This could be better."
"Well what do you want me to do?" Edward asked, glaring.
"Just cum already, I'll sort myself out afterwards."
"No you won't. We agreed not to do that."
"Only if you could get me off, we agreed not to. But you can't do that so looks like I'll be doing it myself."
"Whoa, no way. I can make you cum." I snorted and shook my head.
"Bullshit," I challenged. Edward glared once more at me and then gently caressed my cheek.
"May I show you how good I am?" he whispered.
"Go on then."
Edward kissed me softly and then began showing me how 'good' he was. There wasn't much of a difference but hell, he was trying so rather than burst his bubble I began faking. My moans seemed convincing for all of three minutes before Edward pulled back completely, looking me over before gasping loudly in shock.
"You're faking!"
"Well duh!" He practically fell back, one hand on his chest, like he'd been shot.
"Why?!"
"Cause I wasn't enjoying it. Why else would I fake? Plus, you were trying so hard, I didn't want to offend you." Sighing Edward crossed his arms over his chest. The entire conversation seemed weird seeing as we were both naked on my bed having a chit chat.
"You wouldn't offend me." I snorted again and he shrugged. "Alright, I'm a bit offended but show me what to do and then you won't have to fake. We never usually have this problem," he pointed out.
"I know we don't. For some reason it's just different today, I don't know why. You want to give it another go?" I asked hopefully.
"Sure, but help me out a bit please."
"I will." I kissed him softly and set us in the motions again.
With new found purpose and we got back down to business and this time it was a lot better. No faking needed whatsoever. Within minutes he had me panting and moaning, clawing at his skin and thoroughly enjoying myself. Then the git stopped, pulled back and looked at me much like before. I wasn't having any of that.
"Don't fucking stop!" I cried, slapping his shoulder.
"You're faking again!" Edward accused.
"No I'm not, now get back to it!" I bucked my hips against his and he finally got his arse back into gear.
What felt like hours after he arrived in my room I finally achieved what I wanted the entire time, I came. Edward needed a bit more time but hell, I wasn't complaining, well not anymore. His body collapsed back onto the bed next to mine afterwards and I leant over to kiss his cheek before getting some clothes back on.
"Thank you and in future, I'll call you if I need you." That put a grin on my boy's face. "Oh, what happened to the game?" I asked, remembering they were all playing.
"Em wanted to keep Rose company, the others all wanted something to eat, and I saw you had vanished. It seemed wiser to call it quits."
"And are you glad you did?"
"Oh yeah," Edward said smiling widely, watching as I put on my clothes again.
"Right, well I'll be off," I said once fully dressed again, grabbing my keys off the nightstand.
"Off?"
"Yep, Rose and I are going shopping." Edward frowned and shook his head.
"Yeah you have fun with that."
"I will. While I'm gone, can you get your naked ass out my bed? That might be a little hard to explain to our parent s if they find you," I said, looking over his body briefly. "Bye!"
I closed the door behind me then headed down the stairs. Rosalie was in the kitchen with Emmett and the other guys. One of them I knew was called Garrett but the others I didn't know and hadn't seen before. Regardless they all greeted me politely so I figured they couldn't be that bad.
"You ready to go?" I asked Rose.
"Yeah. Whose car are we taking?"
"Take mine? We'll have to come back here anyway," I replied.
"Think we can take Edward's?" she asked.
"You want to take his Aston Martin?"
"Yeah." Emmett started laughing and shook his head.
"Rose he will kill you if he finds out you were in his car. Poor boy will probably want to bleach the whole thing." She rolled her eyes at his statements and turned back to me, looking hopeful.
"Oh fine, why not? But I'm driving!" I called quickly as she trotted off outside to the garage."He's going to be pissed," I muttered, thinking it probably wasn't a great idea to take it.
"Yeah, he will be. However, he loves you so he won't be mad for long. I'm sure you could convince him to forgive you," Emmett said, grinning wildly.
"Ugh, no thanks. Just tell him I have it and that it hasn't been stolen?"
"Of course. Now go before she hotwires the damn thing."
After rooting around a drawer in the hall I found the spare set of keys. Rose was practically giddy when I came outside. She was far too excited in my opinion. Hell, I was crapping myself just thinking about opening the bloody thing. Driving it was going to be another nightmare. I knew that if I got one scratch on this baby Edward would never forgive me. He loves his car too damn much. Though, according to Emmett, he loves me too.
Pfft, as if.
"Don't break anything," I warned Rose as I unlocked it. She jumped in eagerly and put her seatbelt on before inspecting everything she could. I got in nervously and turned the key in the ignition, listening to it come alive.
As carefully as possible I drove out of the garage and into the drive. Rose was telling me to speed things up a bit but I ignored her completely. I had a funny feeling this car would just take off if I put any more pressure on the accelerator.
"Oh come on Bella, it's not going to blow up! Give it some power," she whined as we travelled well below the speed limit.
"No, I do not want to crash this thing. Edward would murder me if I did."
"Please, just give it a bit of oomph." Shaking my head I drove carefully and cautiously through Forks. "I need you to pull over," Rose said suddenly.
"Why?"
"I'm going to be sick." She held her hand up to her mouth as I pulled up to the side. Quickly Rose threw open the door and dove towards the bushes. I got out the car and walked over to her, rubbing her back.
"I didn't know you get car sick," I said, then noticed she hadn't actually been sick. "What's going on?" I asked.
"I'm alright now." She stood up and began moving back to the car, except she headed straight for the driver's side.
"Oh no you don't!" I raced there but she beat me.
"Get your ass in the car before I drive away," she warned, giving me her no nonsense look.
"Shit Rose, you're not allowed to drive this. Get out."
"Nope, and technically, neither are you allowed to drive this beast. So, stop whining and get in. I will leave you." Her tone told me enough and as I didn't want to have to walk back to Forks I got in the passenger's side, huffing.
"You were never sick," I mumbled, shaking my head for being so foolish.
"Of course I wasn't," she said smiling.
With Rose at the wheel we raced and weaved in between the traffic. She was set on us going into Seattle to shop rather than going to Port Angeles for some reason. Apparently there would be more variety.
In some ways I guess this was good as I had no idea what to get Edward for his birthday. This was going to be the first time one of us had to buy the other a gift so I didn't want to stuff it up. Unfortunately that didn't make it any easier. My boy never really expressed a want for anything so I didn't know where to start.
When we finally hit Seattle Rose seemed to know exactly where she was going. No doubt the girl had gone shopping here hundreds of times. I hadn't had that luxury of coming here so often. I had only been a handful of times so really didn't know my way at all.
She parked the car and then dragged me off to the key shopping locations, according to her. Knowing that I didn't have to get anything for myself really made the whole experience much better. Or at least that was the case until she started handing me some clothes.
"It's your boy's birthday in a week, don't you want to get him something special?" Rose asked, trying to get me to shut up about the clothing.
"Rose, I really doubt he'll care what I'm wearing, he seems to care more about what's beneath my clothes rather than the clothing themselves." She rolled her eyes.
"Trust me when I say this, he'll care about what we buy."
"What are we going to buy?" I asked, watching her carefully as she moved through the racks with purpose.
"Lingerie of course." Looking up ahead I saw where she was taking me and I groaned.
"Right well then I can definitely tell you that's a waste of money. He wastes no time taking me out of mine so won't even notice something new."
"Oh my God, have you seriously never enticed him or made him work for it?" she asked, looking at me like I was crazy.
"Well no we just-"
"Fuck?" she said, filling in the end of my sentence.
"Yeah. I mean, not the first time or the few times after that but now-"
"You just fuck cause why waste the time? Your boy is such a charmer," Rose mutter sarcastically.
"He doesn't seem to complain."
"Of course he doesn't. He's getting his rocks off, why complain about that?" She took a deep breath and turned to me. "He will cum like he's never cum before if you make him work for it. Trust me, I can tell your boy wants to be dominated by you."
"Ugh please," I said, shaking my head.
"Seriously Bella, he does. Plus, even if you guys don't mix it up a little you could always slow it down a bit. Rather than fucking, take it easy, stop rushing, no more quickies in class or anything. Sex is much better with someone you love."
"Speaking from experience Rosalie?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"No," she replied, trying to look interested in something else.
"Are you sure?"
"What are you implying?"
"You didn't love Jasper when you slept with him?"
"Yeah fine, I did. I loved him, very much. I was dependant on him like he was the life support keeping me alive. It wasn't until later that I realised I could survive without him. But yes, I am speaking from experience because when I had sex with the man I loved it was a hell of a lot better than what happened with the man I didn't."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed that."
"No it's fine, don't apologise. I actually should be the one making an apology."
"To whom?"
"Alice. She said sorry to me for losing it over Jasper but in a way I'm kinda to blame. I've never stopped seeing him as my life support, my saviour, and when she came along that didn't change things. He was still the guy who walked in and found me shattered but took the time to put me back together again. I shouldn't have relied on him so heavily, especially seeing as he was dating Alice. I need to apologise to her for that. I think I played a very big part in their breakup and up until now, I didn't even realise."
"She'll forgive you," I said with confidence because I knew she would.
"She shouldn't. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I was one of her best friends, I shouldn't have done that, despite the history there."
"Alice will understand, trust me on that."
"Ugh, right, enough of the serious stuff. Let's go buy you some sexy undies so Edward can cum in his pants."
"Lovely, thanks for that mental image."
"Oh shush, you know you loved it." I cringed away from her as she pulled me along. I certainly did not love the mental image of my boyfriend ejaculating in his boxers. Frankly that was just not something I wished to think about.
Rose was on a mission then, whipping me round the stores. She purchased far too much underwear for me and at times I did feel a bit uncomfortable. She wasn't fazed at all though and I found it kinda unusual. I don't know why but I'd expect her to be a little tamer when it came to sex, given her previous circumstances. Maybe that was foolish of me to think, but it just seemed a little odd.
After Rose was convinced she had bought enough she then instructed me on how to make my boy work for sex. I tried to tune her out as we walked round the shops looking at what to buy Edward from me. Eventually I found something for him that I figured he would like. Once I had paid for that Rose took us back to the car.
I was too tired to fight her this time so just agreed to let her drive. On the way back Rose continued giving me tips on how to get my boy all worked up. She noticed my frown at one point and immediately called me out on it.
"What's wrong with you?"
"How do you know all this? I mean, no offence Rose but you don't exactly have a whole load of experience."
"None taken. That may be so but I had to start from the very beginning of intimacy. With Jasper we couldn't rush things or I would end up sobbing all the god damn time. It took me two years with Jasper to become confident sexually. I didn't just want to endure through sex, I wanted to enjoy it. So my experience comes from him. He told me everything he liked and what he knew other guys liked. We worked on it and my confidence improved."
"I never realised the two of you had that type of relationship. I knew you guys had sex but I assumed you only did it to get past the fear."
"Honestly, it was a pretty serious relationship. Probably the most serious relationship I'm ever going to have. Pity it was founded on such awful circumstances." She genuinely sounded saddened by that and I had to wonder if she wanted to end things with Jasper.
"Why did you two break up?"
"I couldn't stop thinking about Royce. It was eating away at me. Every time I was with Jasper I would always remember how we met and in turn what Royce did to me."
"But you loved him?"
"Yep."
"And he loved you?"
"Yep."
"Did it hurt to break up with him?"
"Hardest thing I've ever done, and that includes telling my parents about the rape." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I miss him."
"Jasper?"
"Yeah, he'll always have a place in my heart I guess."
"Do you still talk to him?"
"We stopped for a bit, you know, after the break up and everything. But now we talk a bit yeah. I speak to him at school mostly."
"Do you ever wish that the two of you could still be together?" I asked even though I knew I was pushing my luck.
"I used to, yeah. There are some times now when I think that aswell but…Jasper's better with Alice. He just needs to wake up and realise that."
"Well I guess we'll just have to see how long that takes, and if she'll take him back," I said, shaking my head. I doubted Alice would but stranger things had happened.
For the rest of the journey we were silent, just thinking. I was worried I had brought up too much about her past she wanted kept there. That didn't seem to be the case though. She was acting like her usual self and was thoroughly enjoying driving Edward's baby.
When we pulled up outside the house I could see Edward watching us at the window. I winced, knowing he'd go crazy, and got out the vehicle. Rose helped me with the bags out the boot and we began walking towards the front door after locking the car.
"You're dating a prick but you're dating a prick with one fucking sexy car. When do you think we'll be able to take that baby out again?"
"Looking at Edward's reaction, I'd say never." Rose cursed at that as the door opened, revealing my peeved looking boyfriend.
"I'll take these upstairs," Rose said, grabbing all the bags and slinking away as Edward honed in on me. I grinned up at him innocently but he just shook his head, wearing a blank expression.
"You took my car," he said slowly.
"Eh…yeah, I did." I tried to keep the smile in place but it was falling gradually.
"Why?"
"Rose wanted to go for a spin in it," I said, biting my lip.
"Thanks for ratting me out!" Rose yelled down the stairs. "Let me take the blame why don't you!"
"You let Rose drive it?" Edward asked, not listening to her.
"Yeah. She was bitching about me driving too slow so she took over."
"Rosalie Hale was driving my car?"
"Yep."
"What's wrong with that, do you have a problem with me driving your car?" Rose asked, coming back down the stairs. Her eyebrows were raised and her hands were on her hips.
"Actually yes I do have a problem with your skanky ass driving my car-"
"Before you rant on, maybe you should think of it as payment for all I've done to cover for your asses."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, openly glaring at her.
"Oh that's right, you don't know because your heads shoved so far up your ass."
"Rose, cut to the chase. What the hell are you talking about?"
"Due to your biology escapades I've had to go out of my way to squash any rumours about the two of you being together."
"Someone saw us?!" I asked, completely alarmed, freezing instantly.
"Well, yeah. Are you really that surprised? Did you think you would get away with it? Come on, the two of you had sex in a classroom full of people!"
"Look, have you taken care of it?" Edward asked seriously.
"You bet your ass I have. The whole town is talking about your parent's having a baby that this tiny bit of gossip would spread like wild fire. It would probably reach your parents within hours of getting out. So, I stopped it. They now believe they saw you making inappropriate gestures behind Bella's back," Rose said, smiling sweetly at Edward.
"So I come off as the asshole here?"
"What else is new?" she chimed.
Edward began grumbling away, calling Rose abusive names, and shaking his head. I reached out, grabbing his hand and gave it a squeeze. He looked at me and calmed slightly.
"Fine. Thank you for helping us out," he muttered, clearly unhappy about thanking her.
"Oh you're welcome, but letting me drive your car was thanks enough."
"I didn't let you drive my car, you stole it," he pointed out.
"Actually, she didn't, I did. Well okay, we didn't steal it. We borrowed it," I said, trying to clarify.
"Without my knowledge and permission?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me, most likely thinking how dumb did I expect him to be to buy that.
"I'm your girlfriend, what does it matter?" I smiled lightly.
"It matters, but yes you are my girlfriend. How about next time you just tell me when you want to take it, okay?" I nodded and hugged him, slipping the spare keys into his back pocket as I did.
"Thank you," he whispered, kissing my forehead.
"Ugh, what kind of fight was that?" Rose asked, shaking her head. "Where's all the yelling, the screaming?"
"We resolve matters without that sort of thing," I answered, only to hear Edward snort. "What?" I asked defensively.
"Can you even remember how we handled our little disagreement earlier in your bedroom?" I blushed and nodded.
"Fine, on some occasions we handle things without yelling, slapping and swearing. That better?" I turned to Edward, waiting on his response.
"Much better. Now, if you'll just excuse us Rosalie, I need to speak to Bella for a moment. Emmett's in the kitchen if you want to go and talk to him." She nodded and walked away as Edward led me through into the living room.
To be perfectly honest I was slightly worried about what he had to talk to me about. There was nothing I could think of that would need this sort of privacy. He seemed to have gotten over me taking his car so it couldn't have been that. However, that was the only thing I could think of and the fear of not knowing was worrying me.
Edward walked to the middle of the living room and turned to face me. We were just standing there for a minute or two as I bit my lip anxiously waiting for him to start. He sighed and shook his head then opened his mouth to speak.
"You love me?" My eyes widened instantly and I tried to dart for the door, not wanting to have this conversation. Edward's expression was one of curiosity but there was a bit of what looked like disgust there as well. Regardless if it was or not I was out of there, if only he hadn't caught me
His hands grabbed my wrist and he pulled me back to him. Now I was practically shitting myself. The one thing I knew about him with complete certainty was that he had commitment and abandonment issues. They ruled his life and caused him to push everyone away, like I expected him to do with me. Given that, I couldn't understand then why he was pulling me back to him.
"You've been saying it in your sleep," Edward said, holding my hands so I wouldn't try to walk away again. He noticed my reluctance to talk and sighed. "It scared me shitless the first time I heard it which is why I've been-"
"So distant," I finished for him. He just nodded, looking down at our hands.
"I was…terrified Bella. I had to take a step back from our relationship and I am sorry about that. But this week gave me the chance to come to a realisation."
"And what realisation was that?" I asked, still biting my lip nervously. I was waiting for him to tell me it was over, we were done.
"I realised that I…I love you," he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. I looked into his beautiful green eyes and grinned when I saw how sincere he was. He chuckled and kissed my cheeks, cupping my face in his hands. "We're in this for the long run now, you know that right?" I nodded and pushed hair away from his face. "And you know what the next step is right?"
"Tell the parents," I supplied. God that was going to be fucking awful.
"Yep."
"When do you want to do that?"
"I'd like a little more time with you before they try and take you away. Let's give it a while." I nodded again and kissed him softly.
"If that's what you want then that's what we'll do." Edward kissed me once more and led me back next door towards the others.
"He's not that scared of commitment," I said to Rose as I sat down next to her. She smirked and raised her eyebrows at me. "You were wrong about him."
"This time I'm very happy about being wrong," she said, smiling.
And so was I very happy about her being wrong. That could have completely blown up in my face but for a change it didn't. Granted, telling Edward I loved him in my sleep wasn't exactly what I was hoping for but still, it got the job done.
For now I would revel in my happiness of knowing the gorgeous bronze haired boy I was lucky to call my boyfriend loved me. Telling the parents would be the real challenge. I know I won't be feeling that happy then. However, as long as Edward and I were in it together then surely we could make it through that minefield. Right?
A/N
Longest chapter yet as I took much longer than I expected updating so I hope this made up for it. *shrugs* I don't know, I'll let you be the judge of that. Another thing, I joined twitter (God only knows why). That's the best way to find out when the next update will be, so if you're interested look me up- going by AeHaS. Right I'm done, I hate these things. Until next time…