Update! :) Also there is a music selection for this chapter. It's a little different from the other songs that I have used, but it still is piano.
Chapter 21
Quiet humming filled the wide white corridor. The nurse dressed in alabaster softly smiled as she made her way down the hallway of ashen tiles. Her deep gray eyes gazed down at the tray of food in her hands, figuring that it was a good idea to give it to a man in need. Her job wasn't that hard, but it seemed to get quite exciting over the last few days. She frowned, maybe exciting wasn't such a good word to use. It was more like interesting. The orange haired patient she had been attending to still hadn't woken up, but every time she stepped into the room, a blue haired man would be there. The man's eyes were always trained on the oranget and she wondered what their relationship was, that is until the morning when she stepped into the hospital room to find him cuddled up next to the unconscious patient. She had never been around a homosexual couple, but she didn't seem as freaked out about it as she thought. In a way she thought they were adorable and she felt bad for the blunet.
He had not left the hospital, sleeping in the chair or bed whenever he was tired. The man was pale, his blue hair dull and laying limp, while his eyes were gone of any sparkle. She worried about his health, since he wasn't really getting a decent sleep or even a decent meal. Sometimes he would refuse the food that the nurses would try to give him and she guessed she could understand. The man looked as if he was in turmoil and his stomach was probably tied up in knots.
She didn't want to have to take matters into her own hands so she hoped the man would eat today. Sighing, she pushed the door open and she instantly saw the large back and head full of unruly aqua hair. She didn't feel the need to disturb him and quietly made her way inside. It had to be hard dealing with all of what was going on and the nurse figured if she could lighten the man's load than she would do just that. She grabbed the bed table and rolled it over towards Ichigo's bed, making sure to situate it above. The food tray was set down and she gazed at the sleeping faces of the men in front of her. They both looked so vulnerable and calm, making her smile just a bit. It was hard to feel happy with what was going on with the orange haired man, but she hoped things would get better for the both of them. She reached for a napkin she had placed on the tray and pulled a pen from her dress. She started to write a little note, hoping that the blue haired man saw it. Setting it back down, she took one last look before quietly excusing herself from the room and leaving the two men alone again.
The beeping of the heart monitor was much louder to Grimmjow as he sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at the food. His mind was exhausted and his body was tired, no matter how much sleep he had recently received. It wasn't enough to rejuvenate his soul and keep his body awake. The man laying next to him coupled with his confused feeling about their relationship was only weighing him down and stressing him out. He had spoken to Ichigo even though he knew the man wouldn't hear him. The soft whispers in Ichigo's unhearing ears, the subtle touches, hoping he would awake. Hope was the only thing keeping him from screaming into the quiet room. It was the only thing keeping him from leaving and flying back to America.
He knew he wouldn't be able to go back unless he was sure Ichigo would awake. Playing the piano wouldn't be the same, and the guilt and heartache hanging over his head would only make him not want to ever look at a piano again. Grimmjow didn't care if a week or a month passed, he would not leave Japan until he was sure Ichigo was alive and healthy again.
"You better eat." Grimmjow looked up, not realizing that the nurse had stepped into the room. Sapphire eyes glanced back at the tray of food, his expression somber. "I brought it for you, since I noticed you haven't really left this room for a few days."
"…'m not hungry." Indeed Grimmjow wasn't. He knew if he even tried to put something in his mouth it would just come right back up. His stomach churned with worry and doubt, making him feel dizzy.
"Doesn't matter. You look sick as a dog and I refuse for you to get worse on my watch. I may not be your nurse, but I won't let him see you like that when he wakes up." Grimmjow's eyes enlarged and glanced back up towards the silver haired nurse. Her large deep gray eyes held worry and a speck of determination on making him eat. "Also if you don't eat, I'll have to call Unohana-sensei down here and she is not to be messed with," she continued with a smile and made her way over to the bed, her hands inside her pockets. Pulling them out, she reached for the cover and pulled it off of the large tray of food. "Go on, I guarantee it will help your nausea and make you feel a bit better."
Grimmjow looked down away from her eyes and gazed at the smorgasbord of food. He wanted to chuckle as he eyed the grilled fish, miso soup, jasmine rice and bowl of fruit. She seemed to be feeding him an entire meal instead of something to soothe his stomach. "Uh, I'll try, I guess."
"Good! When I come back I want it to be empty." Grimmjow nodded and waited for the woman to leave before picking up the pair of chopsticks. She was right about the fact that he didn't want Ichigo to see him looking like a zombie when he woke up. Grimmjow wanted to look healthy, as if he was taking care of himself the whole time. He could tell Ichigo about how he wasn't, but it would be better if he didn't stress the orange haired man out.
He sighed as he picked at the food, his mind trailing back to what Renji had said a few days ago. Was Ichigo really in love with him? Was he even in love with Ichigo? It was so hard to understand something that he pushed away for such a long time. Love was a strange and confusing feeling and he didn't know how he would be able to tell.
Ichigo was above everything else in his life and he had never felt like that about anyone. Of course his mother was number one, but the love he had for her was incomparable. It was the same with Ichigo, but in a different sense entirely. He felt like he couldn't breathe if Ichigo wasn't there. He had thought his life had been complete before, but now that Ichigo was around, he realized that his life had been far from perfect. They were more than lovers were, Ichigo becoming his best friend, his rock and the feeling of losing that hurt more than losing his music.
He looked over his shoulder and gazed down at the sleeping orange haired man. The soft plains of the man's calm face were beautiful and even though he looked as pale as a sheet, Grimmjow couldn't take his eyes off of him. Ichigo was beautiful through and through, right down to his soul and Grimmjow could see how someone could fall in love with such a man. He could understand Renji's frustration of not being able to capture such an outstanding creature. He could understand Orihime's feelings of wanting to be there for him every step of the way.
He was starting to understand his feelings more clearly, realizing that there was so much to Ichigo that he adored. Grimmjow had yet seen the side of the oranget that everyone else had seen before the man's blinding accident, but that didn't matter. He was sure he would love that part as well, but he had fallen in love with the Ichigo that everyone was having a hard time dealing with. Though it was tragic, the blindness had brought out a part of Ichigo that no one probably would have ever seen before. From Grimmjow's perspective, the man was selfless, but at the same time selfish about his own feelings. He wanted to make other people happy before his own happiness, but when it came to it, he made sure to put in 110% of effort. Ichigo was a dynamic person, almost as if he was two people at the same time and Grimmjow adored that in a way.
Setting his chopsticks down, the food still untouched, he leaned back down, letting his body practically cover Ichigo. His face was buried in the soft orange locks and he breathed in the unique aroma of the oranget.
"Hey, Ichi," he whispered, rubbing his face through the man's hair. "I know ya probably can't hear me, like every other time I've talked to ya. But…I just want to let you know that I'm here. I'm right here next to you, waiting with bated breath. I don't know what's going to happen when you wake up, but it doesn't matter because I'll still be right there beside you." Grimmjow could feel himself choking up with emotions, but he refused to cry at a time like this. He took a deep breathe and pulled away, gazing down at the closed eyes. His lips pressed against them before nuzzling the man's nose with his own. He could feel it swelling up inside him, the feelings that have been growing since he met the orange haired man.
Burying his face into the pillow next to Ichigo's face, he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. His lips ghosted over the man's ear and he said the words he never thought would ever spill from his lips.
"I love you, Ichigo."
Ichigo eyes widened when he heard the deep but soft whisper penetrate through his inner mind. He had been hearing Grimmjow speak to him for the last couple of days, but he had never thought he would hear those very words said to him. Looking down, he gazed at his fisted hands, his heart bursting with joy at the confession. The man's voice had been quiet, but deep and powerful, letting Ichigo know that he was sure of the confession, he was sure of the words he had just spoke.
"Tch, figured he would tell ya soon. I was wonderin' what was takin' so long." Ichigo looked up when he heard Shiro's voice and wondered what he meant. "Don't tell me ya couldn't see it? Ya guys are practically lovey dovey all da time. I could even see the feelins' and I'm blind."
Ichigo smiled and looked down at the white piano before him. His fingers ghosted over the keys, softly pressing a few. He did love Grimmjow and he wondered if the man already knew that. It seemed the man's presence near him was making him stronger and his inner world was already starting to change for the better. While walking around with Shiro, Ichigo had noticed that color seemed to be coming back to his mind. It was a very small patch, but that was better than the complete whiteness. He just hoped that he could bring it back to how it used to be and make Shiro happy. He needed his strength again, his will to fight like he once had.
Grimmjow had been his crutch, but also the very person who was giving him the determination to get back to his usual confident self. He could never thank the blunet enough and he hoped that his love would be enough to suffice. His orbs glanced over to see black nailed fingers pressing against the piano keys and he realized that he had to thank Shiro as well. If it wasn't for him, he wouldn't have known how affecting all of this was.
"No need ta' thank me. We are one in the same. I'm just the cooler part of you." Ichigo snorted, softly punching Shiro in the arm, making the pale man smirk.
"I'll be taking that part back, very soon." Shiro chuckled and his hands began to press against the keys, producing the heavenly music that Ichigo loved so much. He wondered how Shiro even learned how to play, or if he was even actually playing at all. Was it just another projection of Grimmjow? Or was it something more? He wasn't sure, but he knew every time the white haired man played, he would get a tingly feeling inside him. It made him miss Grimmjow that much more. Even if the man was right beside him, he couldn't reach out and touch him. He couldn't kiss those lips or feel those hands on him. His sultry voice wasn't enough and it made Ichigo want to break free from this place. It made him want to shatter the walls holding him there, just so that he could feel Grimmjow again.
He looked up and over to gaze at Shiro. He felt bad for him, not being able to break free from such a place. He could visit him, but he knew it wasn't the same as being free. He wondered if such a thing was even possible for his carbon copy. He snorted to himself, seeing that his thoughts were sounding crazy. Shiro was a figment of his imagination and that's where he would stay.
Shiro just smiled at the thoughts rolling around in Ichigo's head. He had never said he was trapped in the place, only that being there was lonely. He was free to do as he pleased, but he pretty much enjoyed being near the orange haired man. Ichigo would one day realize that Shiro was way more than just some an elaborate imagination.
Six Weeks Later
Grimmjow couldn't believe he was sitting there, his aqua eyes deadly glaring at Luppi. The hatred inside him for the dark haired man had yet to decrease and he knew that the only reason he was there was to give Orihime his support. Ichigo was still unconscious so he wouldn't be able to testify at the trial, but Inoue was healthy and her mind was strong, remembering everything that happened down to a T. Grimmjow was a witness as well to corroborate the fact that Luppi was indeed dangerous and sane enough to go to jail.
Luppi's lawyer tried to state the fact that Luppi was distressed which brought on some kind of psychological illness, basically saying the petite man wasn't fit enough to go to prison, but Grimmjow knew that was a load of bullshit. Luppi was so obsessed with him that he figured killing someone would make everything perfect again. It was a crazy idea, but it wasn't crazy enough for Luppi to be dropped of all charges because he was deemed insane.
The prosecutor, the very person that was going to bring Ichigo justice had a solid case and enough evidence to make the jury see just how long and hard Luppi had been thinking about the plan to kill Ichigo. The man's best friend even testified, resulting in Luppi trying to attack Loly in the courtroom. Luppi's mother had had the most compelling evidence that Grimmjow thought had been so stupid on the small man's part. The voicemail left by Luppi on his mother's cellphone stating that he had in fact attacked Ichigo with his silver sedan, resulting in the oranget now being in coma.
The events being talked about over and over was enough for Grimmjow to want to slam Luppi to the ground with his own hands, but he stayed in his seat, keeping his emotions wrapped up inside.
When Luppi went up to explain his side and answer questions, those lavender eyes never strayed from Grimmjow's azure ones. It was as if Luppi was asking for help, asking for one last chance and the blunet wouldn't even give him that kind of hope. He made sure that his blue gems showed how much he loathed Luppi, how much he would never forgive him for what he had did, and if Ichigo never woke up Grimmjow would haunt the petite man's dreams for the rest of his life.
Every word spilling from Luppi's lips was making Grimmjow boil with anger inside. He had no right. Luppi had no right for what he did, and Grimmjow hoped the jury could see just how fucked up the dark haired man was.
The trial didn't take long, a few days before the jury came to a guilty verdict and Luppi was sentenced to fifteen years without parole for attempted first-degree manslaughter, and in the event that Ichigo passed away that sentence would be twenty to life. Fifteen years wasn't enough in Grimmjow's eyes, but he guessed it was better than just sending Luppi to a psychiatric hospital for the rest of his life.
So there Grimmjow was, leaning against the wall of the courthouse waiting for Renji and Orihime. They decided that now that that nightmare was over it was time to try to settle themselves down. All that was left was to wait for the fate of Ichigo's life and then things would go from there.
"Grimmjow," the blunet heard a soft voice say. He slowly opened his eyes to see Inoue standing in front of him, Renji right next to her. "We're ready if you are." He just nodded and they started walking down the sidewalk towards the small noodle shop at the corner. Grimmjow hadn't been eating much, but his stomach had been growling up a storm inside the courtroom and Orihime had insisted that they get something to eat afterwards.
They had yet to let him go see Ichigo, saying that he needed some time away from that sterile place and that his health was just as precious as Ichigo's. He didn't want to agree, but they were right and he needed not to be so glued to such a place, no matter how much he wanted to stay by Ichigo's side.
Lunch was quiet other than the soft chatter between Renji and Orihime, Grimmjow keeping his thoughts and voice to himself. He used his chopsticks to stab at a piece of meat floating in his udon, unconscious of the large slate gray eyes looking his way.
Orihime had been worried about the blunet, her heart practically going out to him. She could understand how much he was hurting and how nothing seemed to make him feel better. She felt it would probably be best for Grimmjow to leave, but she knew the man wouldn't do such a thing without bringing Ichigo with him. It was kind of sad that Grimmjow would be taking Ichigo away, but she guessed it would be good for the both of them. They had both found happiness in each other and it was right for them to be together wherever they pleased.
"So Grimmjow, how do you think life will be once you get Ichigo to move with you to America?"
"…I don't know, better, I hope. It's a big transition from Japan to America, but I'm sure Ichigo will be strong enough for it."
"What about his sight?" Pressing his lips together, he wondered about that too. It wasn't like Ichigo had denied the surgery, but there was no telling what was going to happen when he woke up. All plans of travel might be on hold if damage had been done to Ichigo and Grimmjow knew he wouldn't be able to stay in Japan forever. He still had a life in America, a job to get back to and he had promised Ichigo that he wouldn't let that opportunity waste.
"Regardless of his sight, I'm bringing Ichigo to America with me. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll wait until he is ready. I won't just push him aside. He at least deserves that much," Grimmjow responded, making Renji frown. Slipping a vegetable in his mouth, he thought about that little statement. So Ichigo deserved to be pull away from his family and friends because of how selfish Grimmjow was being? It really was a selfish request, but he wondered if he would do the same as well. Renji sighed, seeing how he was trying to turn Grimmjow's words just because he was angry. He knew the blunet did not intend to keep the oranget away and he just needed to realize that he really had no chance with Ichigo.
"…I just hope he wakes up," Renji mumbled, making Grimmjow and Orihime look his way. Of course everyone was thinking that and it just made the situation that much more depressing. The scary question that was rolling around in Orihime's mind was; if Ichigo didn't wake up, what would Grimmjow even do with himself?
Grimmjow stepped into the dark room, gazing out into it before flipping the switch on the wall, illuminating the room and closing the door behind him. He heard the soft mewing coming from the floor, but ignored it completely as he pulled at his tie. It had been a long day; even longer since he hadn't went to see Ichigo at all. It was itching at his nerves, but he needed a day away from the hospital and hopefully a good night sleep. Unbuttoning his shirt, he started to make his way deeper into the oranget's room, the place having a lingering scent of mint and chocolate.
So much like Ichigo.
He padded over to the man's stereo system, pressing the ON button. He listened as the electronic started to function, filling the room with sounds of discs moving and music starting.
[Fairest of them all (#) by Kämmerer]
Standing in the middle of the room, he gazed at the objects that reminded him so much of the oranget. The tall bookshelf filled with leather bound literature, some of them in Braille so that he can still read them. Music and art magazines lay haphazardly off to the side on the floor next to a pile of kitty toys. The colors of the room always stayed neutral, Ichigo refusing to remove any color from his life even though he could no longer see any of it.
He let his white button down fall from his upper body, the music from the speakers filling his ears and drowning out everything else entirely. His feet moved and he threw himself onto the bed, burying his face into the soft pillow before feeling the pads of tiny feet on his back.
"Pantera…you're so needy," he grumbled. She just purred, walking in a circle before lying herself down on the middle of Grimmjow's back. All that was missing was the head of soft orange locks, the tan, lithe, muscular body, the unseeing white eyes and the vibrant smile. He sighed, pushing his face deeper into the pillow and yelling out his frustration on life. None of this was fair for him or for Ichigo. The oranget didn't deserve what had been bestowed on him and Grimmjow didn't care if that was how fate worked, it was still a load of utter bull. Ichigo didn't deserve to be treated as life's punching bag. He didn't deserve losing his parents, the accident that caused his blindness or the actions of the blunet's crazy ex-boyfriend.
Turning his head to the side, he gazed out into the room, trying to figure out what was going to happen now. He knew Ichigo wouldn't come out of this fully healthy, it just wasn't logical. He could ask for a miracle, but those only were a dime a dozen. He would give anything for a good fortune to come his way. An arm, a leg, his soul, just to know that Ichigo would be healthy again.
He slowly closed his eyes, only to flinch when he heard the slamming against piano keys at the end of the song. He guessed all musicians had to let their frustration out in some way. He just didn't realize something would be recorded in such a way. Sighing, he slowly closed his eyes again, letting his mind become free of everything, hoping he could get some sleep. He enjoyed being around Ichigo, but the thought of awkwardly sleeping in that hospital bed made him even more exhausted. His breathing started to even out and his body instantly relaxed, drifting off into a relaxing and deep slumber.
After a good six or seven hours of sleep, the sound of a constant beeping noise made Grimmjow groan, his body trying hard not to wake up. Blinking his eyes open, he could see the rays of sun shining through the small window in the room, the warmth heating against his side. He realized the noise was his cell phone, but he couldn't be bothered with it at that point in time. Sleeping in Ichigo's bed had been amazing and he needed a few hours more before doing anything civilized. He listened to the loud purring and mumbled a string of curses towards Pantera, but she could careless how loud she was. She was intent on waking Grimmjow up completely and she would get the job done.
All of a sudden there was a loud thump, sounding as if something fell to the floor and it jerked Grimmjow out of his sleep, his eyes now fully wide and unfocused.
"The fuck was that," he mumbled, scrubbing his hand down his face.
"Grimmjow!" The blunet's eyes narrowed, gazing at the closed door of the oranget's room. There was loud footsteps coming towards the door and his name being shouted again before watching it being thrown open and a disheveled Renji stood in the entryway, his hand gripping the doorknob.
"…What is it, Renji? You woke me up."
"Nevermind that! The hospital just called! Ichigo's awake!" Grimmjow's aqua eyes widened and his upper body lifted up from the bed, Pantera toppling over and rolling to the sheets. "Hurry your ass up and get dressed!" His eyes watched Renji disappear and he sat up fully, raising his thump to his mouth and biting at the skin.
Ichigo was finally awake. His lips turned up into his normal smirk and he felt a weight in him flutter away. He knew he couldn't be too happy yet, but that news was better than what he had feared, and he hoped there was nothing else more to fear.
Ahhh! Please review and see you next chapter! Ahhh!