Chapter 20 I'll always love you
Well here's a chapter, finally.. I hope you enjoy this one!
Review repleys:
Hanai-kun: Thanks for reviewing, reading and giving all those compliments! XD I hope you enjoy this chapter too! And yes, their relationship is a real rollercoaster.
Sarathine: Thank you too for r&r and the compliment! Yeah indeed, there's a lot of yelling... I don't know if I'm happy about that myself O.o. But well, it helps to get more drama! XD
NejiHyugaLover: Wow you almost have the same name as me on my other account! Thanks for r&r! I hope you like the new chapter!
Kiba was panicking. What the hell did he had to do?! Shikamaru was laying on the floor and Neji was running off with a kunai in his hand. He chose for Shikamaru. He helped Shikamaru up.
"Shika are you ok?"
"I'm fine.." Shikamaru muttered.
"Are you sure? That was a hard hit." Kiba asked, concerned.
"I don't care." Shikamaru said.
"O my god Shika, what do we have to do?" Kiba said, panicking again. "Shika, Neji grabbed one of your kunai and ran off!"
"…I know he did..if that ass wants to kill himself that's his problem." Shikamaru mumbled.
"WHAT?!" Kiba yelled. "Wouldn't you care if Neji kills himself?!"
"Of course I care!" Shikamaru yelled. "Neji just doesn't care that we care…dammit."
"Shikamaru I think he still isn't able to think clearly or something, he doesn't know what he's doing!" Kiba yelled.
"That's his problem." Shikamaru said. "Look, just call Sasuke or whatever and let him deal with this. You heard Neji, he doesn't want us anyway."
"I think he just wants us to comfort him, and not to try to fix the problem." Kiba said. "I'm going to call Sasuke." On that moment Sasuke returned.
"Wh..where's Neji?" He asked, when he saw Neji was not in the room. Kiba looked at him panicking.
"Sasuke!" He yelled. "I don't know where Neji went, but he was very angry and he was crying, but please go search him! He took a kunai with him!"
"HE WHAT?!" Sasuke yelled, not believing what he was hearing.
"I…I didn't knew what to do…" Kiba muttered. Sasuke wanted to yell something but then he saw the red cheek of Shikamaru.
"Did.. did Neji hit you?" he asked.
"Shikamaru some kind of upset Neji…" Kiba muttered.
"He had it coming." Shikamaru said.
"Shut up Shika, Neji never hits anyone unless that person said something really really awfull… so what did you do?" Sasuke asked.
"…He said Neji could rot away and that he wouldn't help Neji anymore when Neji yelled to him to fuck off and to mind his own business.." Kiba answered for Shikamaru. "And then Neji wanted to leave and Shikamaru told him kind of brutally that Neji had to stay. And then Neji hit him." Sasuke passed a death glare to Shikamaru.
"And you let him leave with a kunai." Sasuke hissed to both of them. "What kind of friends are you anyway?!"
"LISTEN SASUKE!" Shikamaru yelled. "We weren't exactly prepared for this you know! If you would just follow that stupid boyfriend of yours and leave us alone already!"
"Shikamaru…" Kiba said softly. Sasuke grunted and angrily grabbed Shikamaru by his collar.
"If you EVER say that about Neji again, I'll hunt you down and kill you, understood?" Sasuke grunted. "I don't ever wanna see you 'near' Neji understood?! You are a worthless piece of crap if you even DARE to say that about your friends! So just shut the fuck up Shikamaru! You've screwed things up more then enough already!" Shikamaru didn't said a thing, he only stared at Sasuke, very angry.
"Shikamaru, stop it and apologise! Now!" Kiba hissed.
"….I'm not apologising for anything other then what I just called Neji…other then that I wasn't wrong." Shikamaru said, glaring at Sasuke.
"YOU SCREWED UP YOU LAZY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN!" Sasuke yelled. "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!" Sasuke's hands encircled Shikamaru's troath painfully. Shikamaru gasped and started couching.
"STOP IT!" Kiba yelled, panicking, and tried to pull Sasuke away from Shikamaru's troath.
"LET GO KIBA!" Sasuke yelled. "SHIKAMARU NEEDS SOME SENSE GETTEN BEAT INTO HIM!"
"NO!" Kiba yelled. "YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"
"cough…I'm….sorry…cough…" Shikamaru brought out between his coughing.
"TOO LATE BASTARD!" Sasuke yelled. "NOW LET ME GO KIBA! NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH ASSAULTING NEJI LIKE THAT!"
"SASUKE!" Kiba yelled. "You are right about he can't say that, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL HIM!"
"I'M NOT GONNA KILL HIM, I'M JUST GONNA PUNCH HIM UNTIL HE ADMITS HE'S THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE WORLD!"
"You are not punching him, YOU'RE CHOKING HIM!"
"I DON'T CARE! JUST LET ME GO!" Sasuke yelled.
"cough… Sasuke.., I really cough.. am sorry…cough"
"I'M NOT LETTING YOU CHOKE HIM, DAMMIT!" Kiba yelled to Sasuke.
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY NOW SHIKAMARU!" Sasuke yelled. "WHY DID YOU MEDDLE INTO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"…I just wanted cough you to make up…cough…I dunno…I…wanted to help cough.."
"Please let him go Sasuke!" Kiba yelled. "Or else I'll have to hit you, and I don't want that!"
"YOU ARE NOT KIBA!" Sasuke yelled. "NOW LET ME GO BEFORE I KILL THE BOTH OF YOU!"
"WHAT IS THE USE OF STRANGLING SHIKAMARU WHILE NEJI IS MAYBE KILLING HIMSELF SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW?!" Kiba screamed.
"…." Sasuke was shocked. He immediately let go of Shikamaru and ran out of the door. He had to find Neji.
Sasuke was running trough the forest. He had been at Neji's place, his place and the school were Neji was teaching, but Neji was nowhere to be found. Sasuke was so concerned. Maybe Neji had suicided himself by now. Damnit, he had to find him! Suddenly he saw a figure with long brown hair sitting against a tree, with his knees pulled up to his chest, his head on his knees and his arms around his legs. Holy crap. Neji?! Sasuke ran to him and sat down next to him. It was Neji. And Neji was still alive. Neji didn't looked at him.
"Thank god you're alive…" Sasuke said, closing his eyes and laying a hand on Neji's shoulder.
"What are you doing here…?" Neji soflty asked, still not looking at Sasuke.
"I'm looking for you, Shikamaru and Kiba told me you ran off… with a kunai…" Sasuke saw that Neji was still holding the kunai.
"I….I wanted to kill myself…but I can't do that…because of the baby…" Sasuke swallowed. Only because… because of the baby..?
"Y…you can't kill yourself Neji…not just because of the baby… but because you have your whole life ahead…I…please don't act like this Neji." Neji stared at the ground.
"If this is what you call life…I would be better off dead."
"N…Neji don't say that…" Sasuke brought out, very afraid Neji would kill himself nevertheless. "…everything will be fine…Neji…could you.. give me the kunai.. please." He saw Neji's grip on the kunai only become heavier.
"I don't know if this ever is going to be fine again…I don't want to wait for it." Neji muttered.
"Neji shut up…" Sasuke said. ".I don't want you to even consider suicide…It's not worth it Neji.. things will be fine… It's not all that bad.. And I….I…Neji please give me the kunai before you hurt yourself."
"Who cares?" Neji muttered.
"I care.. your friends care, everyone cares Neji." Sasuke answered. "Just give me the goddamn kunai." Neji suddenly stood, pushed the kunai in Sasuke's hands and wanted to walk away, but Sasuke grabbed his arm. Neji turned around.
"Now what?" Neji snapped. Sasuke was in shock. Neji wasn't acting normal. Something was really, REALLY wrong. Neji's eyes looked like they were dead, his face was pale, his hair was ruffled…He was looking..dead.
"Why are you acting like this Neji?" Sasuke asked.
"Acting like what..?"
"You're acting like no one cares Neji…" Sasuke said. "…like you are on this alone, but you're not ok."
"I AM alone Sasuke." Neji said bitterly. "You don't understand and you will never do." Neji again tried to walk away. But Sasuke only pulled Neji against him.
"Maybe I don't understand Neji!" Sasuke yelled. "But you are not alone! You have me, you have friends Neji! Just stop this nonsense and let us help you…"
"My 'friends' can only say to me that it's MY fault."Neji said, shaking his head. "I have to go do things about things… I… and you just walked away when I needed you the most.."
"…I know that was stupid I'm sorry, but I…I didn't knew what to do Neji.." Sasuke said. "This isn't just rough on you ok… I…I just… I dunno why I walked out it got to my head…but it won't happen again…and your friends will NEVER say that it's your fault Neji! Because it's not! It was never your fault! It was mine and Itachi's!"
"Shikamaru said… and I just need some time for myself…to see what I'm going to do." Neji said. "I don't have much faith in all this anymore."
"Well then have some time for yourself.. …you scared the hell out of me Neji…" Sasuke muttered. Neji turned around once more and tried to walk away again. But Sasuke grabbed his arm again.
"Neji?" Sasuke asked. "Are you mad at me or something?"
"Yes and no." Neji muttered. "I don't know."
"Why are you mad at me?"
"I have the feeling you don't want me anymore now there's a possibility that I'm pregnant from Itachi." Neji muttered.
"That's bullshit Neji, why would you even think that?" Sasuke said, not believing what he heard.
"Because you didn't said anything when I told you and you just walked away."
"…yeah, well…" Sasuke said, causing Neji to look down. "..I didn't like it I have to admit that… It was just so much.. cause you were yelling you wanted to die and I…I just didn't knew what to do, it was instinct..and well… That doesn't mean I don't want you Neji, I'm sorry."
"You are my life Sasuke." Neji said softly, while the tears were streaming down his face again. "And I feel like dying when I'm without you."
"…Neji…I don't want you to feel like that…I'm sorry…don't cry."
"I think…I need some time for myself…really…"
"Neji…are you… are you breaking up?" Sasuke said, with a sick feeling in his stomach.
"…Y-yes.. I am.." Neji whimpered.
"Why? Neji why?"
"I just want.. some rest.."
"So you don't want to see me because you need rest?" Sasuke said, not believing what he was hearing. "You don't love me because you want rest? Are you fucking serious?"
"SASUKE I'M BECOMING INSANE IF I GO ON LIKE THIS!" Neji yelled, very upset. He was holding his face in his hands, he couldn't take it.. it was too much..
"FINE NEJI!" Sasuke yelled. "IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SUPPORT THEN JUST TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND I'M GONE!"
"IF I DIDN'T LOVED YOU I WOULDN'T DO THIS TO MYSELF!" Neji yelled. "GOD DAMN IT! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I'M RUÏNING MY LIFE FOR YOU!"
"THAT IS BULLSHIT NEJI!" Sasuke yelled. "WHY IN HEAVENSNAME WOULD YOU RUÏN YOUR LIFE FOR ME?!"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Neji yelled, not caring about the tears which were pooring down his face.
"SO ALL I DO IS RUÏNING YOUR LIFE?!" Sasuke yelled, furious. "CAUSE IF THAT'S THE CASE THEN STOP TELLING ME YOU LOVE ME ALREADY!"
"You don't understand Sasuke!" Neji yelled. "You will never understand! Please I'm… I'm only doing this because it's the best…for the both of us.."
"I do understand, I just don't want it!"Sasuke said. "I don't want us to break up Neji!"
"I don't want it too… but it's the best…I will not make it if I go on like this, Sasuke… I just know..I won't make it.."
"Fine…if you think it's the best, fine..But don't think I agree…Good luck with whatever Neji.."
Neji shaked his head, clearly upset.
"I'm so sorry Sasuke..That is has to be like this…"
"It's your choice, I don't care.." Sasuke snapped.
"That's all proof I need." Neji muttered, feeling himself sink away. "Goodbye, Sasuke.." Sasuke walked away.
"I still love you Neji.." Neji heard Sasuke mutterering before everything went black. Sasuke jumped when he heard something fell onto the ground. When he turned around he saw Neji laying there, unconscious. Sasuke was shocked. Neji was…that kind of tired? Sasuke walked to Neji and kneeled down beside him. He stroked Neji's hair out of his face and saw that Neji's face was still wet from the tears. Sasuke closed his eyes and shaked his head. He was going to bring Neji back to the hospital and then he would left. To give Neji his rest. And he left a note. It said:
Neji, I will always love you.
Love, Sasuke.
He didn't knew how much that hurt Neji when he read it.
Lee walked inside his house. He had been up and about all day and he was ready for some rest. He got to his room and found a note. 'Funny? I don't recall leaving that on my bed.' Lee thought and read the note. It said:
'Dear Lee. I'm very sorry that it has to be like this, but I left to the Sand Country. I'm going to be the Kazekage and it will take long, very long, for us to see each other again. Again, I'm very sorry. I love you, Gaara.'
Lee's hand were shaking after he had read it and he kept staring at the note. He felt tears streaming down his face onto the note. Lee grabbed the telephone and somehow he had managed to dial Neji's number. He had no idea how because his hands were shaking like hell.
Neji picked up the phone.
"Hyuuga Neji." He said.
"Neji...this is Lee...can I talk to you?" His voice was shaking too, he noticed.
"Of course Lee, what's wrong?" Neji asked.
"Gaara left…" Lee said crying.
"WHAT?!" Neji yelled on the other side of the phone. He couldn't believe it.
"He...he left me a note...he didn't even say goodbye..." Lee cried out.
"What? Were did he go to? Did you... did you even knew he was planning to leave?" Neji asked worried about Lee.
"Y..yes...remember when I told you...no you probably don't...you weren't really listening...I...he got a letter that he could become kazekage in the sand country...He wanted me to go with him but I said no and we got into a fight...I haven't seen him since that and now he...he just left..." Lee said as he kept looking at the note.
"…I remember something about it, you saying that... But... it's nothing for Gaara to do that... Maybe he was afraid to broke into a fight again? Or that he couldn't leave you...? Oh Lee, I'm so sorry for you.. Do you want to come over?" Neji asked worried as he heard Lee giving out another cry.
"N...no it's ok...I just...needed someone to talk to...Neji...How do I life without Gaara?" Lee asked. He was so confused right now.
"...maybe you can go visit him once in a while? Call him? Lee.. of course you can live without Gaara... you're such a sweet guy..everyone loves you." Neji said, trying to cheer Lee up.
"In the letter Gaara tells me that it will take a very long time for me to see him...I don't even know where he lives...I want him back..." Lee cried out again.
"...of course you want him back. Maybe you can ask Kankurou or something?" Neji said. "I...yeah...I'll do that...thanks Neji." Lee said and he smiled a little.
"Your welcome... Lee, do you want to talk about something else, or..?" Neji yawned.
"Are you tired Neji? Maybe you should go to bed." Lee said.
"..I'm very tired. I'll tell you an other time why, Lee." Neji answered and yawned again. "Oh..ok. Well you just go to sleep ok Neji. You sound like you need it." Lee said and finally whiped away his tears.
"Yeah I do. Hey Lee, I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything you know were to find me.." Neji said.
"Yeah thanks Neji. See you later. Bye." Lee said.
"Bye." Neji answered. Lee hung up the phone and stared at the note.
"It would be a lot easier if I could just forget you Gaara…but you know I can't." Lee said. He opened a drawer and put the note in it. Then he closed it again and lay down on his bed.
"I really do hope we'll see each other again…I still love you…I always will." And with that Lee fell asleep.
A/N:I'm seriously crying because of my own story. I'm sick. T.T