The Scoreboard
Summary: Harry Potter must motivate the Gryffindor Team after a crushing first half, during the time out.
Harry viewed the Quaffle's destruction, due to a stray spell flying in from the castle, as a blessing in disguise, as the game had to be stopped while the referee, Madame Hooch, rushed to procure a new one. Really, Harry mused, sometimes he was really thankful for the Wizardly incompetence that lead to them not preparing a second ball just in case.
Either way, Harry had a job to do.
Gryffindor was down by three hundred points, and no matter what he did, he just could not turn the tide. He had abandoned the chase for the snitch some time ago, and was now just trying to run interference so the Slytherins didn't have an open field. Angelina, Katie and Alicia were on another planet entirely, the Weasley twins seemed to be bummed out for some reason, and Oliver was too busy blocking the rain of quaffles that he was being pelted with to do anything about it. Not that he was doing more than just half heartedly moving about the three rings, sometimes blocking balls with his body and once or twice with his hands.
Unfortunately, yelling at them did nothing, trying to make them move their asses did nothing, even slapping them had done nothing.
"What the hell is wrong with all of you!?" Harrry nearly screamed, as the team landed on the ground for a breather. "We're three hundred down against Slytherin! SLYTHERIN of all people! Crabbe and Goyle are struggling not to hit each other when passing the Bludgers, Malfoy couldn't find his cock in his own trousers, Flint's garbage for a captain and I'm fairly sure their keeper fell asleep some time ago!"
The team mumbled something unintelligible.
"Oliver, man, what the hell?" Harry started. "Where's your passion, your drive!? Where's the quidditch nut that taught me to love this game?"
Oliver scoffed. "I just don't feel like playing today, okay? I'm not in the mood for Quidditch."
"Oh fuck me, listen to yourself, you pansy!" Harry growled back, "And to think, I used to look up to you," he said, shaking his head. "And you," he continued, rounding on the Weasley Twins, "You can both fly circles around Crabbe and Goyle, you're losing to two beaters that I'm fairly sure are mentally handicapped. What. Is. Your. Problem!?"
"Shut up," George said, glaring at Harry.
"You just don't know anything," Fred continued.
They weren't switching around in twin speak, that was why Harry could tell that this was some serious shit.
"Then fucking tell me what's the fucking problem," Harry hissed, his eyes narrowed as he glared at them.
"Fuck you," George said, echoed by Fred.
"And what have you lot got to say for yourselves? The only Chaser worth his broom is Flint, and even then, just barely," Harry said. "You three are an example of teamwork that everyone else can only dream of, what's the fucking problem right now!?"
"Shut up already you little shit!" Angelina shouted. "You don't know shit, so stop talking, shut up and take the goddamn loss!"
"Yeah, you don't know, so shut up!" Katie said.
"You couldn't understand what we're going through right now," Alicia said.
"Then. Fucking. Tell me!" Harry hissed, accidentally letting a little of the snake-like lisping that occurred when he spoke Parseltonge slip into his tone. It was hard to do intentionally - imagine speaking with no lips - but he managed to do it accidentally at times.
"Fine, you wanna know? We fucked up, okay," Alicia said. "We all got really drunk after the victory against Ravenclaw and then-"
She was shushed by everyone else. "He's just a kid!" Katie said.
"Only slightly younger than you," Alicia said. "And he's part of the team, he should know!"
Angelina sighed. "She's right you know."
"We disagree," the weasley twins said in unison. "Harrykens' too young to understand," Fred continued.
George took a deep breath. "Look, we're sorry we're taking it out on you, and we're sorry that it's costing us the game," he said
Fred nodded, himself taking a deep breath, "but look - it's just private between us, okay?" he said, his voice softening a little.
"Fuck that," Oliver said. "He needs to know, he doesn't deserve to be treated like a kid, he's done more shit than all of us combined. We got drunk and we had an orgy after you went to sleep," he said, simply.
"Shit," Harry said, taking a step back. "For fuck's sake," he added, rubbing his temples.
"Wait," Fred seemed surprised.
As was George. "You know what-" he began.
"-An orgy is?" Fred finished.
"I'm a 13 years old boy, of course I do," Harry said. "Seamus has a stack of porn mags as tall as I am under his bed, and your brother's the biggest wanker in the school," he said, sighing. "Look, I don't get what the problem is. You fucked, so what, you're not little children are you?"
"Well it's fucking awkward as hell," Alicia confessed. "I mean - how can I look at George or Fred the same way now? It's just-"
Katie stumbled. "I... can't talk about this right now," she said, "we're in the middle of the field, what if-"
"Somebody hears us? Katie, come on, you know the rumor's going around already," Angelina said, rolling her eyes. "Our reputation isn't getting any worse - everyone sort of already assumed the Gryffindor Team did that, what with the even gender distribution and all," she added.
"Again, what's the fucking problem? You had sex, so what?" Harry pressed. "What about having shared a moment of intimacy is preventing you from regarding each other like you did before?"
"It's - sex is something special, you know?" Katie said, "and I just... I got drunk and then-"
"Just-" Fred began.
"-stop," George ended.
"No specifics," Harry said, raising a hand. "Look, listen, and listen closely, because I'm only going to say it once. We're all friends here, okay? I've seen enough moronic teen dramas to know all the clichés here, and I suggest you stop following them. You fucked. That's the end of the story. And you know what? When we're done here, after we turn this match around and win with a six hundred points difference to make up for the 340 to 30 right now, you're gonna get in the showers, and you're gonna fuck again, in celebration."
"The hell are you saying!?" Katie nearly shouted.
"I'm saying what's going to happen, because, and this is important here, you enjoyed it, didn't you?" Harry asked.
Everyone blushed and fell silent.
"That's what I thought."
"But it makes everything awkward," Alicia said.
Wood frowned. "I agree. I mean, I can't stop looking at the girls without thinking about-"
Harry raised his hand again. "Again, no specifics, please," he said, "I could do without that knowledge because unlike you, I'd like to hold on to my so called innocence as a child so I can use it as an excuse to get out of detention with McGonnagal," he said.
The team chuckled at that.
"Now, I have to ask, DOES it make things awkward?" Harry asked.
"Well, yeah," everyone agreed.
"But only because YOU make it awkward," Harry answered. "Just think about it like this: Does it truly, really change the relationship that you felt so comfortable in that you did, well, that? Or is it just proof that you're all great friends who feel comfortable enough with each other to do, well, that?"
"I mean... I guess it doesn't really change our relationship. It's just..." Oliver said.
"It's an activity that friends do. Love has nothing to do with it. Otherwise porn wouldn't exist," Harry said.
"You know?" Alicia began. "I think he's right."
Katie blinked and looked at her. Angelina seemed intrigued. The twins were looking at her with renewed interest.
"You're all still my friends, and it's honestly destroying me that we can't even look at each other!" she said. "So he's right. We shouldn't pretend it was wrong, we shouldn't pretend that we did something bad, because we didn't! We used protection, didn't we?"
Harry coughed. "You literally can't have unprotected sex in Hogwarts. Trust me, Dumbledore is not a fool," Harry said. Then when everyone was looking at him, he looked back. "What? I thought it was obvious he's grooming me to take over, that's why I get special tutoring. Come on, people, I'm Harry Fucking Potter, while you were all still learning how to say 'Dada', I blew up an evil overlord with unfathomable dark powers. Get with the program, chumps."
The team laughed once more. "Well I guess you'd know, then," Alicia said. "So... what did we do wrong?"
"We're just so... young and stuff, you know? What if our families..." Katie said, almost stuttering her words out.
"The only people who know are us, and nobody needs to know. It's not socially acceptable, but dammit, people, who the hell cares what society thinks of something they don't know about?" Harry asked.
"Shit, now I feel like a chump because I got lectured by a boy four years my junior over being mature about sex," Oliver said, frowning a bit. "He's right, people. We've been acting like immature little morons and making it even more awkward for ourselves."
Angelina nodded. "You're right!" she said. "Definitely right. We're gonna stop acting like children, and start acting like the team that we are!"
Katie blinked. "You guys... guess I got no option, then?" she asked.
"For sure you don't," George said.
"And get ready," Fred continued.
"'cause after this," George continued.
"There'll be another celebration!" Fred ended.
Harry clapped. "Now that's what I like to hear!" he shouted. "That's my team, goddammit!"
"Fuck yeah it is!" the others shouted. It was then, however, that they looked at the scoreboard.
340 to 30, in favor of Slytherin. It would take a lot of effort, titanic amounts of it, to turn the marker around before the game ended. True, Malfoy wasn't exactly good, but his broom was very fast and maneuverable, and he was bound to eventually catch the snitch if left alone. From sheer luck, if nothing else.
It was still demoralizing.
"Shit... we've been fucking around too long, haven't we?" Angelina asked.
"Those thirty points there?" Harry said. "I scored them. I'm the seeker, and I scored all thirty points for our team right now," Harry said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Incidentally, I beat Charlie Weasley for the highest scoring Seeker in a single match in the history of Hogwarts, and I'm tied with Krum for the highest scoring seeker of all time, period," Harry said.
Granted, before modern day brooms, smacking the quaffle with your broom, which was the only legal way for a seeker to score, would result in you plummeting to your death holding the halves of your broom's handle, so seekers didn't ever score much before the Cleansweep 7 was invented, and by then, they were too set in their ways.
"We're fucked, and not in the pleasant way," Angelina said.
"Yeah, there's no way we're turning this around," Katie added, frowning.
Alicia nodded. "I think we should just go out and do the best showing we can, make the defeat sting a little less, y'know?"
"It's probably-" George started
"- the best-" Fred continued
"we can do," the twins finished in unison.
Oliver nodded. "I'll do my hardest to keep their score frozen at that... Harry, just try to catch the snitch as fast as possible so we can just get it to end already."
Harry stomped his foot. "Fuck that noise!"
"Look, we'll try our best, but-" Angelina started, only to jump back when Harry stomped his foot on the grass again.
"Sean Connery taught me that losers whine about their best," Harry said, his tone full of conviction. "Winners go home and fuck the prom queen! Or in our case, winners go home and fuck in the locker rooms! We're going out there, and we're going to win!"
"But, Harry, the lead is so big-" Katie replied.
"Look... listen to me. We're gonna battle, we're gonna fight, win or lose... we're gonna be alright, regardless of the scoreboard," Harry began, closing his eyes for a moment, "you can do anything that you work for."
"That's easy for you to say, you're goddamn Harry Potter," someone said, bitterly.
"Do it for us," Harry said, gesturing to the team, "do it for one another," he said, looking at each one intently, "do it for yourself," he said, once more giving all of them a pointed look, "and do it for each other."
There was some murmur.
"I'm not gonna lie, they had us in that first half," Harry began, "we started slow," he added.
The others nodded.
"But we're always gonna finish fast," he said, calling to them to bend down and form a tighter circle. "It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be tough," he said.
The others looked down.
"If you fall down," he said, "just get up."
The others looked at him. Wasn't that what they were supposed to do anyway?
Then again...
"And no matter what we're going through, your friends are there to help you," Harry said.
"Yeah... we are friends, closer than any other, we should be supporting each other," Oliver said, rubbing his chin. "I'm getting it."
"With all the hard work you put in, you might come out with this win!" Harry said, "now, what are we going to do!?"
"We're gonna battle! We're gonna fight!" the others chorused.
"We're goddamn Gryffindor, we're going to go out there, and we're gonna stomp those grass snakes into the ground where they belong!" Harry shouted.
"YEAH!" the team chorused.
As the Gryffindor team took flight, the new Quaffle arrived.
Madame Hooch had to end the game when the Gryffindor Team scored their final point at 9990, mostly because the points counter only went up to 9990. It only took two hours for the Gryffindor team to reach that ludicrous score, so renewed was their energy and vigor.
It was the highest scoring game of all time, period, Mostly because after that a mercy rule was added so that a points difference of more than 1000 would result in an instant end to the match, owing to the fact that the Slytherin team had begun to cry collectively after that point. Needless to say, the house cup was a joke after that.
With thanks to the fellows of Schmoyoho and, of course, Apollos Hester, then East View Patriots' Running Back, for creating the most inspirational song of all time, right up there with JUST DO IT.