A/N: Hey darlings. I love your reviews, and they defiantly make my life. Thank you!
This Chapter, made me cry alot. Like bawl. Because, as sad as it is, these are the things i wish i could have said. So, this chapter brings up a whole lot of crying and emotions. I will tell you why after the chapter.
Chapter 21: I Hope You Dance
Katniss POV:
"Primrose Everdeen!" My father's laugh booms through the meadow, as he chases after my little sister.
"You have to catch me, Daddy." She runs through the beautiful vibrant flowers as she makes her way over to me, crashing into my still figure. She hides behind me as my father walks towards us, a smile plastered on his face.
"Where is that Little Duck?" He gives me a smirk, and walks behind me. All I can hear now are the muffled sounds of Prims hysterical laughter.
"Kitty, why don't you go get your Bow?" My father says, as he effortlessly holds back my little sister. I can feel the corners of my lift up, and I attempt to run but I feel a warm embrace on my shoulder.
"It's time for dinner, Kat." My mother says smiling as she watches her husband and daughter interact. I simply nod, and move towards my old house. Storm clouds have rolled in, and I feel myself picking up speed, but I don't actually grow closer to my home.
Seconds pass before I decide to look back, to notice that they have disappeared. I can no longer hear the sound of Prim's shrieks, or my father's laughter.
Panic overtakes me, and before I have a chance to stop myself, I scream.
"Prim! Mom! Dad!" I call out wishing for one of them to pop out of the bed of flowers, surprising me. As if this were a game they were playing on me.
"Prim! Mom! Dad!" I cry out again, as tears stream down my face. I sink to the ground, grabbing my hair. Screaming for my family, wishing someone, anyone to comfort me. I realize then that this is hopeless. The only presence I have now is the powerful wind hitting my tear stained cheeks.
I am in fact alone. Loneliness. My worst enemy.
"Ms. Everdeen?" I feel someone shake me rapidly, my forehead is wet with sweat and a shiver runs down my spine. I take in my atmosphere. White and Blue paint cover the walls, and grey metal chairs surround me. The burning scent of sanitizer hits my nose, and I realize that I am in a hospital.
"Ms. Everdeen… we have some unfortunate news. I am afraid, due to her extreme injuries; she is Comatose or what you can call a "deep sleep." We aren't exactly sure how long she could be in this state. I am sorry for the lack of information at the moment, but you're more than welcome to go ahead and see her.
All I do is nod, but I eventually get up from the painfully uncomfortable chair. I haven't eaten anything since I found out about the accident; I would probably end up vomiting it all up anyways. My eyes flashed to a clock, 2:00. My thoughts were still focused on my recent dream that turned into a nightmare.
"Her room is off to the left, you may go in whenever you're ready." She smiles sympathetically, and walks off to her other duties.
I take a deep breath, and finally open the door. My eyes immediately flash to her beautiful blond hair scattered around her pristine face. She looks younger, it really is true. How people look younger when they are asleep.
I stand in the doorway, unable to move. But I finally give myself a push, and as I grow closer to her, I can feel the tears flooding my face.
My last straw is drawn, when I see her injuries, large bruises and cuts cover her legs and arms, a bloodied bandage covers a large portion of her left leg.
I crash to the floor, gripping the bed. I feel helpless, and uncontrolled of my sobs. I know she won't wake up, and hear me. Worse comes to worse the kind nurse will come an escort me out of the room. But for now, I was on my own. To deal with this on my own.
"I'm so sorry." I grip the bed, as I let the tears fall, and my sobs fade.
"I should have been there for you; I should have been the one here in the hospital. I deserve to be here. Not you." I stare at her pale skin through my blurred vision. If I didn't know better, I would believe she was dead, right now.
"You know, after dad died… I shut you out, just as you did us. I stopped trusting you. But I thought it was the right thing to do. I never imagined the effect of losing a person you loved so dearly. I blamed you for leaving us to starve. To fend for ourselves. I know it wasn't your choice. Hell… if I lost Peeta-"
I freeze my thoughts, I decide not to go there for now. Peeta had come with me, and spent the rest of the night here, but ended up having to go home. His mother had called, wondering why he wasn't there yet. I'm glad he isn't here now though. I need to do this on my own.
"Look, Mom… I never got the chance to say this, but thank you. Thank you for everything." Tears came into my eyes once again, and I grabbed her petite hand. Entwining her cool fingers with mine.
"I am so sorry for never letting you be a mother to me. Even after we moved here, I would never let you do something as simple as run a bath for Prim or I. " My wrist furiously wipes the sticky cries from my face.
I was never good with words, but I figured this would be enough.
"I love you, Mom." My mind rushes to before the accident.
"Dad, what does that thing on your neck say?"
"Always."
"What does that even mean?" he laughs slightly, and pats down my hair.
"Someday, you'll understand."
My hand runs across the smooth metal, as I lift the necklace up, forcing myself to read it. Stay with Me.
My eyes glance towards her sleeping figure.
"Stay with me, Mom. Stay with us." I get up, and kiss the top of her head gently.
Always.
"Little Duck! What are you doing?" I laugh as she grabs my hand, pulling me to lie down beside her.
"We are going to play a game." She looks over to me, her bright blue eyes shimmering.
"What kind of game?" She points to an oddly shaped cloud.
"Whoever can spot the best cloud wins." I smile; I was always up for a challenge.
"That one!" She points to one that looks like nothing more than a blob.
'Prim. It looks like a blob of white fluff."
She giggles, "Like a marshmallow?"
I can't help but laugh at my sister's innocence, "Sure."
Moments pass until I see one that looks similar to my pin. A Mockingjay.
"Look at that one!" I point to the sky, as the cloud passes overhead, but Prim doesn't respond to me. I turn my head, to find that Prim has vanished.
"Prim…" I sit up carefully, and look around the meadow, I try not to worry but eventually anxiety gets the best of me.
"Prim!" I yell again, as I circle the premises, looking for the blond braid.
"Katniss…" a voice behind me whispers, I whip around, to face my mother.
"Mom?"
"Don't leave her. You have to protect her."
Confusion filled my thoughts, but my mother had answered my question. Her hand touches my cheek softly.
"Face it. I'm not going to be around for much longer. But you have to stay with her. Promise me that?"
"Katniss?" A deep voice sounds as he shakes my shoulder.
"Gale…" He stands beside me, looking at the unconscious figure in the hospital bed.
"I just wanted to wake you up; A few minutes ago, you were thrashing around pretty violently." As I think of both the nightmares I've had recently, both leaving me with the feeling of loneliness.
"How's Prim?" He asks, with genuine concern in his eyes. To be honest, I wouldn't know at the moment,
"At the moment? I'm not sure. I went to see her last night, but the doctors shooed me out of the room in order to do tests. She hadn't been injured to badly; it was just to be safe.
"How is she doing?" He looks over to the woman that is my mother.
"Well-" The door opens quietly and my head glances over to the entrance way. It was the kind nurse.
"Hello. I am sorry to interrupt, but you may go see your little sister now. She has been asking for you."
"Thank you." My lips curl into a small smile. I haven't seen Prim awake yet, and the first thing I wanted to do was hug her.
I get up from the chair, and look to Gale. He gives me a look, saying that he will watch my mother for me. I give him a slight hug, and I leave the room, closing the door gently. Since Prim's injuries weren't fatal, the nurse brought me to a different section of the hospital.
"Here you go, Ms. Everdeen." She opens the door, and I see Prim, lying on the bed. She is reading 'How To Kill A Mockingbird,' probably for English. She glances over to me, and her lips turn into a smile.
"Kat!" I walk over to her, embracing her in a warm hug. Never wanting to let go of her tiny frame.
"Little Duck… I'm so glad you're alright." I pull away, and i fully take in her injuries; there are many bandages on her arms and legs. A piece of white cloth is wrapped around her tiny head.
"How… is Mom?" I swallow harshly, as I try to conjure something up in my mind.
"She's dying, isn't she?" Her blue eyes fill with tears, as I play with my necklace. No one knew exactly what was happening to her. After all, it had only been two days since the accident.
"No, Prim-" My words play through my mind, I can't lie to her. She is too smart for that.
"She is in a Coma, the doctor said that he wasn't sure how long it could last." Her hands wrap around my waist.
"Katniss… she can't die. She can't die." She is sobbing now, as she nuzzles her face in my shirt. Hot tears stroll down my face.
"She won't Prim." I play with a gold strand of hair. As much as this is supposed to comfort her, I feel like I need a little encouraging myself.
Surprised? Remember, i always try to do the unexpected. But sometimes it ends up being completely obvious.
The dreams, were they okay? I suck at writing those things, anyway. I hope this extra long chapter is okay.
The things Katniss said to her mother, are the things that i wish i could have said to my mom before she died. I felt as if i should have been with her, she was too good of a person to die. Everything would have been easier if it was me. I wanted to say these things to her. I wanted to tell her i was sorry. I should have at least been there before she died, to say goodbye. But i was to young. You write what you know. So, very emotional chapter to write. I am still crying. Sorry lovelies.
I don't mean to bring attention upon myself. Most of the people in my classes don't even know what happened to her. I don't like telling people for that reason, i don't like being seen as an Attention Hog, and i definitely do not like charity. Even if i am acting as an Attention 'whore' right now. But i trust you guys, you have helped me through this. Thank you for that. Plus, i needed to get that off my chest. If i could buy you all Christmas presents, i would. But for now, you will have to accept my love.
Thanks for sticking with me. xoxox.