Catwoman 21
I met Bella the next day at the library. We walked across the small campus to eat at the café located there. She was wearing sunglasses, and her skin was very pale. Only a pink tinge noting my attack from the early morning hours remained on her smooth cheeks.
"I'll be so embarrassed to officially meet Aro," she said.
"He'll recover. He's surprisingly merciful for a member of the aristocracy." I pulled on the end of her hair.
She groaned. "If Rose hadn't come to my rescue…I signed a lifestyle statement when I took this position, Edward." The 'position' she referred to was head librarian at Forks' small Christian college.
"And like good little college students they were all in bed at two in the morning. So your lewd behavior is our secret." I put my arm around her trim waist and pulled her into my side. She smelled good, like some kind of fruit.
She pushed away from me. "Don't grope around on me in front of the students. And I wasn't being lewd by myself, mister."
"I know, babio." I kissed her ear.
She covered her face and groaned again. "Do not remind me."
"I've got three words, Maynard G. Krebs."
She had to laugh. "Oh seriously, shut-up."
"Just you, me and some bongos, Baby. And that wet little outfit…or not."
"Shut. It."
We were standing face to face, really close, my arms around her.
"My own little wet T-shirt contestant…"
"Because of your sexual harassment with the hose…and let's not forget the strip-tease on your porch. All the world is a stage…"
"Yeah, let's not forget that. My private little show for you…guess I forgot to sign the life-style statement."
"Oh," she cleared her throat, looking over my shoulder, "good morning President Smith."
A grim bespectacled man rushed past, nodding to Bella. "Miss Swan," he said.
"You call him President?" I am amused.
"That or boss," she said, head tilted to the side. "And when you do your adjunct work, he'll be yours." She was doing a little glare at me. I could easily see her soft eyes behind the glasses. Her beauty took my breath away. Her hair was in a pony tail but there were loose strands blowing around her sweet face. And the way she felt in my arms, firing every nerve ending, but relaxing me all at the same time.
"Aro would love this place," I muttered, bringing her around by running my finger over her cheek. I was insane for her attention and favor.
"I'm relieved to know Aro isn't your grandfather or something." We were only pretending to speak about Aro.
"Or something? Like a zombie, or a shape-shifter?" I gave her my most charming grin, wanting to be as close as possible in the middle of a busy quadrangle.
"I mean, or an old uncle or something. And stop trying to dazzle me. Gosh, it's just wrong. You have to be genetically engineered. You're out of a GQ laboratory."
"Sexiest man in the universe." I reminded her of her comment from this morning.
She groaned and tried to tuck her chin, but I wouldn't let her. I laughed and pulled her in tighter and whispered, "Splendid specimen of manhood?"
"Shhh," she said, our foreheads touching. "You realize that's all cliché. Drunk cliché."
"You know what I realize, Miss Bella? God didn't get it more right for Adam, for Romeo, for Robert Browning, or for Jay Z. You. Are. It." We kissed, and it was like take-off. "How's that for cliché? Now do it back."
She pulled back the littlest bit. "You know you're scaring me. And…I like it."
"You're a strange girl."
"Okay…a hung over girl…but you are my Brad…"
"Not him."
"Shush. My Prince William, my Mr. Darcy, my Poindexter."
"Who is Poindexter?"
"Did you never play the Barbie game? I always got Poindexter."
"Huh. Is that a good thing?"
She kissed me again. "It's a great thing. At first, I didn't want him. But since I always got him, I learned to really appreciate him. See? Poindexter is great."
"Sounds cryptic. Fishy."
"We need to get lunch. You need some ice water." She was giggling against my shoulder now. Passing students looked at us, smiled and whispered. One guy gave me a thumbs up.
So over sandwiches, her turkey, me roast beef, we continued to talk. Time evaporated with her. "Aro and I will be working for a couple of days on selecting various charities to propose funding for." I had trapped one of her little feet between mine.
"Edward, you are a constant revelation. You blow me away. But Aro, he kind of reminds me of Mr. Belvedere," she said poking a chip in her mouth. "I can't believe I shot the glass right in front of his face. He kind of lost it for a minute. I'm a hose-beast. He must find Forks, crazy me, crazy Rose…very rural."
"You're good. He's been to a lot of remote places that aren't exactly sophisticated."
"Great consolation there." She slurped her green tea. She hooked her free foot around my calf.
"When I got out of the hospital…even while I was still in, I made the decision to ask Aro to step in as CEO. I could hardly ask people to trust someone to make fair and honest decisions about where to donate their money if I couldn't be trusted to give them one hundred percent."
"Edward," she said, wanting to console me. It felt wonderful, her readiness to comfort me, but I couldn't use her that way when I was so undeserving. I ran the backs of my fingers along her cheek.
"Bella, it was the right decision. Trust has to be rebuilt. This was the tougher road. Carlisle wanted to step in for me, cite a temporary absence, as if I'd been ill. But I wanted to be upfront about it. We didn't broadcast that I'd tried to kill myself, but we did say I stepped down due to stress. Still, the truth did leak into the corporate world, and traveled through critically important circles. And that's what I feared all along, not for myself, but for the sake of the organization. Philanthropy became my mother's life-work. She started our organization. Her family money was the seed capital. Not only are we a philanthropical association, but we're an umbrella effort that other charities come under for guidance on where to put their funds. I couldn't take the risk that my screw up would damage our mission."
She nodded and we started to gather up our trash.
Too soon I was walking her back to her desk.
"I don't think it's just about how we mess-up. There's always consequences, but it's how we seek to repair things that shows what we've learned and how we're striving to change," she said, dumping her big purse on her messy desk and taking off her glasses. "I mean…I think that's happening for you certainly. I think Alice is there with Jasper. She's tender with him again, you know? We talked last night, before I went crazy. We said some really bad things, and some really good things. But I have hope for them."
I raised our joined hands and kissed her knuckles.
"I love that. Knuckle kisses. It's on my list of reasons why I love you." Her.
I raised my sunglasses and stuck them in my hair.
"You know I love you, right?" Her.
I grinned.
"What is this look for?"
"Marry me." I moved in and put my arms around her again. I reminded myself not to squeeze. Her body against mine, Utopia. I wasn't going to make it. Her surprise visit in the wee hours that morning had rendered me blind to my supposed commitment to treat her like the treasure she was. Hosing her down so I could stare unabashedly at her nipples and then attack her and grind on her like she was a blow-up doll was hardly the behavior Ben was trying to hold me to. And all of my antics in response to her antics, frenzied though they'd been, were actually restrained in comparison to what I wanted to do. That's why they'd only revealed themselves in all their stark outrageousness in hindsight. I'd been way, way out of line, and I'd been more inebriated than her, I'd been lust-drunk, Bella-drunk. The only thing that had pulled me to my senses was Aro's presence. Rose and the cold water in the face hadn't really phased me. But Aro represented other, greater failures, and my vast need for restraint and reform. Responsibility too. All three of the R's.
"Edward you promised!" She swatted my shoulder, but it had no power.
"It's not good for a man to be alone. I've been alone for way too long. I don't want to waste another day. Don't make me wait."
"For what? For me, or for sex, Edward?" She looked around and lowered her voice, "We can have sex without getting married."
I gave her a shake and a growl. I hoped they were in sync. "Let me tell you something, Bella…there's no difference. You're sex. There's no sex apart from you. I want sex. I want you. I want marriage. I want it all. It's all or nothing."
"You're like, a Puritan."
"Am I Bella? Am I a Puritan?"
"No," she pouted. I loved her lips. I wanted to kiss her brains out.
"You said you'd give me three months."
"I'll give you forever."
"Oh my gosh. You're so serious. You mean it."
"Did you think I didn't mean it?"
"No. I knew you meant it. I just…it is better than three months. You're offering something so much…more."
"Yeah."
"This is going to sound ridiculous."
"Go on," I said warily.
"If I agreed, how would I tell Rose, for example. Or Alice. Jasper. They're still fragile. Or Emmett? How would I tell the closest people I have to a family that…I'm getting married when they're all so…."
"Look Bella…I don't want to be the crazed, possessive fiancé that tries to break up his girl and her friends."
"Groomzilla," she volunteered.
"Yeah, something like that. So you gotta do this. We have to put one another first. The way I'm doing that is telling you…I'm not going to have sex with you outside of committing my life to you. That's how I'm putting you first. I'm going to put you over myself and everyone else."
"Starting today? Or what's the plan?"
"I've been trying," I said.
"Go on."
"You have to figure out what putting me first is in regards to your friends. If they're the reason we can't marry…."
"That sucks. When you say it like that…I'm horrible. I don't deserve you."
"We deserve each other. But we have to work at it. I want to be worthy of your love. I messed up last night, but I'm not sorry. But I can't have a repeat, much as I don't want to discourage your adventurous side because last night will definitely go down in the record book of my favorite moments. But I can't let go of self-control. I really want to wait until it's right. I want to take the vows. Then we'll live in our commitment. It'll be unbelievable. I'll love you everyday…I'll just love you."
"Edward," she pressed her lips to mine. When she pulled back her eyes were shiny with love. I felt it pull me into her heart. I felt so full of…joy. Nothing I'd known compared to this. There had been moments in my faith, and a deep settling in me from that, but this was like icing, dripping into all of my lonely places.
"I will marry you, Edward Cullen. I always knew I would. I always knew I could never let you go. Never. If I had to crawl on my hands and knees to get to you, I'd do it. Nothing will keep me away from you, not fear, or friends, or old men…with white hair…nothing." We kissed carefully, but it was sweet and mind-numbing to feel her welcoming lips on mine.
"I am trying not to crush you," I whispered in her perfect ear, "in front of that old lady over there…"
"Mrs. Cope," she whispered.
"…and that young guy over there."
"Seth. Tonight, after you come over for dinner, I am going to squeeze the ever-loving guts out of you," she whispered back.
Oh, my Bella.
I left her at her desk. We were both a little dazed. I wanted to skip to my car, but that would be wrong. Inside though, I was skipping, outside jogging. I jumped over a rail in the parking lot. I could have leapt a tall building in a single bound. Or maybe not. But damn it I felt great.
I knew Aro was waiting, and that Tanya was coming in from headquarters in Chicago. But I wasn't expecting Vickie to be at the house. I admit some of my joy leaked away at the sight of her car. I knew Rose was still in town. Her car was gone, but she was still around.
I started to whistle. I could do this until someone usually told me to stop. When I was deep in thought, whistling helped me breathe.
Vickie and Aro were waiting in my dining room. Aro had lots of paperwork spread out on the table. Tanya had just pulled in the driveway and now she was coming in. I held the door for her.
"Hey," I said. "Have a good trip?"
"I did," she said, her expensive heels clicking, her expensive perfume evident as her blue gaze passed me to enter the house.
"Still no grass," she said in her low, elegant voice.
"Yeah," I said. She was dressed to kill, as always. It's just my house, but to look at her in a one piece camel colored dress, you'd never know it. She looked like we were still in the high-rise in Chicago. She was, but I wasn't, and this was Forks. I liked Bella's long skirt she'd worn today, the little white blouse. I liked Bella. Oh damn, I was engaged. I was engaged. And I could see Bella's tracks in the mud, the place around the hose, dried mud on the porch. All of my life I'd heard, "Edward stop. Edward no. Edward. Edward." It's why I'd loved football. I wasn't afraid of being hit. It was a discipline, but I could be outrageous, in a controlled way. And I hadn't played, just cut loose and played for a very long time until last night. And she hadn't run away, she had instigated. I knew she'd been drinking, but she was playful. She was fun.
"Edward." As if to prove my point, Aro's cultured voice called me back to reality.
And Vickie. She stood there, some dark drink in her hand. Her dress was strapless, two rows of ruffles around the boob area, like she needed that, and a form fitting short skirt. It was baby blue with big peachy flowers all over and high-heeled peachy shoes. Red hair wild and curled like a hundred candy canes. She was a pretty girl, who didn't know the meaning of subtle.
Aro and Tanya kissed. Tanya put a packed briefcase on the table and asked Vickie for, "one of those," nodding toward her drink. Vickie went to comply.
"What brings you here?" I asked Vickie.
"You said we need to talk."
"Excuse us," I told Tanya and Aro. Vickie and I went into the downstairs level of the house. Most of the bottom floor was a sprawling family room. She sat on a loveseat and patted the spot next to her. I sat across from her in an overstuffed chair.
"Emmett and I are on a break."
"What does that mean?"
"According to him it means he won't call me for a couple of weeks in case Rose wants him back."
I waited for her sarcasm, but there wasn't any. I actually thought she was going to cry.
"You're serious about Emmett?"
She looked away, took a drink, refused to look at me.
"You're serious." Me.
Now she did look at me, all ready for war. "You're not the only one who can fall for someone in Forks."
"I hope this isn't a competition. The guy's been through enough. Not that I'm feeling sorry for him. But if you're just amusing yourself…"
"Don't be my father."
I nodded. "You're right. I'm not your father. I'm not even your brother. Sometimes I wonder if we're even friends."
"What's that supposed to mean? Has someone been filling your head with bullshit?"
I held up my hands, like 'down boy.' "I mean, I'm getting really serious with Bella. I want to marry her, and she feels the same toward me."
"So we can't be friends? I think we're past that. Why are you saying we're not friends?"
"Relax. I'm saying things need to change between us. I'm going to be a married man. You can't just show up here. I can't go off trying to fix things all the time. I'll always care about you, that won't change, but I have to make sure…there has to be room for Bella. We need to look at what we've got going on. You show up out of the blue, even in Chicago, and now here. I'm a single man living in a small town with my fiancé across the street. We know we're just friends…"
"Or not friends. You said you didn't think we were. I can't believe what I'm hearing."
"I didn't put it right. I meant that even friends have rules. Boundaries. And my life is changing. I have a fiancé. I have to consider her."
"So she's threatened by me?"
"Not if you care about her feelings."
"Oh, I have to care about the little baby's feelings? What does that mean? You want me out of your life." She was on the edge of her seat.
"I'm not going to have a screaming match with you."
"You don't think they're all against me? You don't think they want me dead?"
"Calm down. No one wants you dead. Not literally."
"Can't you see they're manipulating you? You're so damn weak. You're throwing me out, for a group of country bitches. They've got you by the balls and you're so desperate and pathetic you're willing to…."
She throws her glass against the wall where it shatters and the drink splatters onto the carpet. I'm on my feet now. She's flying toward me, slapping at me. I finally get a grip on her wrists. "Calm down," I yell. We've been here before. Aro and Vickie are here now. Tanya stands back. She's not a fan to begin with. Aro tries to take Vickie in his arms and comfort her. She turns to him, arms around his neck. She's sobbing now. She never cries. Not in front of anyone but me, and then only twice, but his pale elegant hands pat her back and rub up and down.
He leads her to the loveseat. Tanya is already picking up the glass. I tell her to leave it, but she continues to clean up the mess. I go upstairs for a towel. As I look under the sink for the carpet cleaner I realize I've been held hostage by Vickie's explosions for a number of years. I don't want to do it anymore.
I sit across from Aro and Vickie until she feels better. Tanya has long since returned upstairs, the only one actually working.
"Are you saying you don't want me to be in your life anymore?" she asks, her makeup streaking her cheeks. Aro takes a tissue, wets it on his tongue, and dabs her cheeks.
"Not like this," I say. "If it's going to be like this, I can't expect Bella to marry me. What woman would put up with this?"
"I don't see what's so bad. We're like family."
"No we're not. We use each other. It was good for a few years, you didn't have anyone, and neither did I. We were young, we helped each other. But it went on too long. Now it's just weird. "
"Edward," Aro rebuked me.
"It's true. I think we need a break. I know I do."
"No problem," she says pulling away from Aro and standing. "If that's how you feel, then I won't bother you again."
Aro follows her upstairs. I hear her having a rant once they get upstairs. I don't want her to leave like this. But I know she'll be dramatic as hell in the hopes I'll take it all back, and I'm a little old to play that game. If I can't manage my own life, I can't expect to bring Bella into it.
I slowly ascend the stairs. She has gathered her things, things she's left here from other visits. Aro has insisted on driving her rental to the airport. He's on his laptop looking to book her a flight.
"I don't want to part like this," I say.
"Don't try to make yourself feel better," she says.
"I care about you. But I'm in the way, Vickie. We're alone together. Think about it."
"I never felt that way," she says, this intense look. Tanya shoots me a look, but just as quickly pretends to be engrossed in her papers.
"Maybe you're not ready to admit it to yourself," I say. "We stay in one another's lives just enough to pretend we don't have to try. We've been hiding out together. But we're not really together. I'm not sure we like each other anymore. We have less of a relationship all the time. Whatever we're doing, it's not good. We need to be honest."
"If that's how you feel, then I can't get out of here fast enough." She turns to Aro. "I'll be in the car." She stomps out then. And in truth, all I can feel is relief.
Once Vickie and Aro are gone, I try to look over some papers with Tanya, but I'm shot. All I want to do is get over to Bella's and be with her. Trouble is, we won't be alone and I don't want to be involved in anyone else's problems.
"Look," Tanya sighs. "We'll get an early start in the morning."
I apologize to her.
She smiles, but she keeps packing up.
"We'll get an early start," I say.
"So, you said you're getting married? I couldn't help but overhear." She sits slowly, her attention on me now, her fingers touching her expensive silver necklace.
"Yes."
She looks away. "Do you think Vickie's in love with you?"
"What? No. Do you?"
She plays with the matching silver bracelet now. I can't imagine her hands kneading bread.
"I think she likes to pretend she's in love with you." Her look is uncomfortably intense.
I ponder what she's said. "Possibly. But I never really thought about it in those terms. I can't figure it out. I don't want to."
"Did you know that Aro has a thing for her?"
"Ah…not like you're implying." I'm actually shocked.
"He loves to rescue, too. Guess it goes with the territory." She gestures her perfectly manicured hand over the piles of paperwork.
"He's twice her age."
"Is that really your business?"
She's got a point. Old habits die hard, but she's right. "It's…none of my business. I knew I was getting in the way."
"And you knew she was getting in yours."
I shrugged. "Do you think he'll make a move? Is that why he took her to the airport?"
She smiled. "I think this wasn't such a bad night for him." There's a sadness in her voice, in her eyes. It's often there, but this is somehow more pronounced. I wonder, does she have a thing for the old man, too?
Later at Bella's, I am giddy to be beside her chopping celery. She's made a chicken gnocchi soup. There's this baked cornbread thing. We're making an apple salad to go with it. We kiss each other every two minutes. She tells me I look a little pensive. She promises not to interrupt my sleep tonight. I want to tell her an edited version of my conversation with Vickie. I just want her to know I'm getting everything ready. But I don't want to bring it into the room now. Jasper and Alice are on the couch. We're putting the food on the table when Rose shows up. She comes in the kitchen first. Emmett is behind her.