The sins of a fathers
I HATE KNIGHTING CEREMONY... just thought I'd put that thought out to the world. I stood by my throne in my most uncomfortable dress, with my most formal smile, my future husband in the crowd trying to keep his eyes off me. I know I must look radiant, I've spent my whole life being told I'm beautiful and I'm not so self-centred for that to be all I care about but it was nice when the one man who thinks who I am is just as beautiful as everyone says I am I can't help but appreciating the compliment more.
I could mouth this speech, word for word... it was the same speech Every... single...time. But for the life of me I could not relax, I knew 'she' was coming. Morgause, the women who was going to cause more of a rift than anyone here (maybe other than Merlin) will ever truly know until years after she is dead. How I know? Because this vision has been plaguing my sleep as well as my waking hours for weeks… heck even months. Summer had changed into the fall quickly and the weather was frosty most nights.
Father started boosting about Arthur and I almost wanted to laugh, follow his example and you are surely to end up dead, but I couldn't dwell on this my eyes flickered from Merlin to the entrance door knowing many knights would be dead in this warriors path as she made her way here and that's when we heard it the cries of the guards outside the door being killed. Every sword within the room was pulled out and ready to use.
She dropped her glove to her armour on the floor beside Arthur... the traditional way of asking for a duel, between her and Arthur. I knew Arthur would accept
"I accept your challenge, if I'm going to face you in combat do me the curtsey of showing me your face" She removed her helmet and showed me a face that has haunting me for a very long time.
"My name is Morgause" So that's her name and somehow... the name seemed fitting. Everyone in the room looked confused or shocked, unlike Merlin who was looking at me in that kind of 'what now' way. Everyone piled out of the room at Father's orders, Arthur ordered Merlin to make his bed and then see that someone tends to the bodies of the guards.
Father and Arthur were talking most of the evening, myself and Merlin watching her from the window in my bedroom as she practice to fight, her sword skills were something not to be messed with. I could probably face her, so could Merlin and Arthur if prepared for her attack and I knew nothing would do me greater honour than taking his place in the duel because unlike my dear brother I could hit a girl. Merlin had been laying on my bed for about an hour, giving up watching her train. He knew her dangers but he refused to even attempt to communicate with her. But then she didn't seem like that kind of person who would give much away if you forced her for hours...she reminded me a little of Morgana but I was unsure as to why.
Arthur knocked on my door, he must of known we'd want to stay close by in case he needed anything.. he always seemed to know that people cared but never actually asked them for it. It's one of the few things that I find endearing about my dear brother.
"Adira, Merlin I thought I'd find you here... Merlin could you erm..." Merlin nodded
"I'll tend to your sword and armour sire. Do you need anything for dinner?" Arthur nodded
"Yes thank you Merlin, bring it in here along with your own and Adira's please" He nodded, kissed me in pasting and then walked off.
"Adira, are you okay? You looked like you saw a ghost when Morgause walked in" I smiled softly at him
"I guess you could say my mind is playing tricks... I've been having dreams, well more like nightmares and she reminds me of the women in my dreams. I know it's not her really but.." Arthur nodded
"She's human like everyone else Adira, I don't want to fight her but…if I don't fight I'm a coward and if I kill her... what am I then?" I sigh
"Someone who took the challenge given to him by order of the knights code, no one can fault you for that" Merlin walked in with the armour and sword in hand, a couple of servants following with our dinners. Once the other servants had left Arthur sent Merlin to ask Morgause to withdraw, but I knew she nor him would.
The following day, I sat in my throne as the crowd cheered Arthur inside the arena. Arthur looked glum, Morgana was looking at Morgause with intend to figure out who she was, father looked pissed (not that I could blame him) I too was pissed but for his stupid reason for not withdrawing and the fact I was very sleep deprived. Merlin followed Arthur but stopped at the edge of the Arena, he turned to me and bowed his head in slight respect.
"The fight is by the knights code and to the death" Came father's slight upset voice. Arthur tried to ask her to withdraw but he knew it was hopeless, as did I. They moved into stance and the battle began, at first it looked like Arthur might just win... but then Morgause surprised everyone by knocking him down easily and pushed a blade against his chest in threat to kill him. I was ready to jump in, paying little mind to the knights code but then Morgause spoke words echoed in my dreams.
"Make me a promise and I shall spare your life" I mouthed with her.
"What is you ask?" Came Arthur's desperate question, I too mouth that with him.
"Come to me three days hence and accept the challenge I set you"
"And the nature of this challenge?"
"That is for me to decide, Oh and bring your sister too this concerns her" Arthur nodded
"Do I have your word that you will accept no matter what?"
"You have my word" Oh Arthur honey why must you always be so honourable? Morgause then ordered him her hand, to which he accepted and he jumped to his feet. Morgause sent us a quick bow and then she left the arena. Gaius set off after her, obviously to give her medical help. Merlin followed Arthur out of the arena as father walked out angry. The whole arena silent so I took to making orders.
"Guards... get the servants to dismantle this arena the minute everyone leaves. Oh and if I hear one breath of gossip about this event I shall be telling Arthur himself. Am I understood?" there were a few mummers and then I left angry, just plain angry.
I didn't know where to go, I knew Arthur would be moaning like crazy to Merlin, I knew somehow that Morgana was going to go and introduce herself to Morgause and Gaius was probably now running his daily tasks. I decided sleeping might do me some good but on my way to my chambers Morgause came through the door of Gaius's chambers, to which only held me.
"My lady, I apologize I did not wish to disturb you" I smiled
"Don't be silly, is there something you needed?" She nodded
"Yes... the dressing to my wound is getting a little ichy I was wondering if maybe Gaius would be able to change it?" I stood up from the book I was reading
"Why don't I do it for you? I'm qualified to do so... unless you'd rather Gaius did so" She shook her head
"No no you can do it my lady, thank you" I directed her to a stall as I grabbed a spare bandage and the cream that always rests on a healing women.
"I'm surprised you know how to do such a thing... surely someone of your standing wouldn't need to know such a skill" I smile at her as I set to work.
"No I do not need to know the skill, but I feel safer and more helpful knowing the skill. It's like using a sword, you don't need the skill but you have it because it makes you feel like you can do something worthwhile"
"You sound experienced with the sword my lady" I smile
"Adira please, I have a passing knowledge of the art, Arthur exceeds more at it but then father allows little ability for women other than to look pretty and clean and sweep, I know my place"
"Sometimes knowing your place makes you wish you knew or had something even more.. I know that very well"
"Yes well... under estimating someone is usually what will be your undoing so... Arthur has mentioned to me that you requested I accompany him on this 'challenge' to which you wish to set for him. Can I ask what my place is in this?" Morgause smiled as I finished with her new bandage
"It involves your mother... and I thought you would be just as interested to know what the task in tales just as much as Arthur" I sigh
"I should have guess, no one would challenge Arthur so forcefully in front of father if not enough reason than involving secrets their parents keep" Morgause laughed
"Seems you know you father well..." I sigh again
"Or not well enough... my mother is but a mystery to me, But I know she was a killer cook, a great physican, a dress maker in her free time and loved my father unconditionally" Morgause's eyes flashed with understanding.
"You know more about her than probably your own father and he was married to her for years" I smiles softly
"A different man back then or so I've heard" she smiled
"A very different man indeed but it would seem who he is today is tainted with hatred. My lady I wished to tell you more but I'd rather you and Arthur find me in 3 days and then we can discuss it with him" I did not trust her AT ALL. But if she wanted to believe I did, then so be it
"Oh.. of course, of course... is that better?" Mentioning the arm
"Yes, it's feel much better thank you" I nod
"Good, if you have any more issues before you leave tomorrow please come and find me and I'd be more than happy to pack you some spare bandages so if you need to change it yourself.." She nodded
"A kindness only a mother could bring upon her child. Thank you Adira" I nod and she left just as Merlin walked in
"Merlin hey, how's Arthur?" Merlin smiled obviously amused
"He's sulking but he'll be fine... what was she doing here?" I smile
"She wanted a change for her bandage and she said the challenge might have something to do with my mother" Merlin looked surprised
"Oh really? But what can she tell you about your mother that you don't already know?" I shrug
"I don't know... but remember I know more about my mother because of Nimuer, it would seem sometimes a person you hate will be more honest than someone you love" He sighed
"Because they only wish to hurt you, not protect you. You must remember that Adira" I smile and nod
"I'm not an idiot Merlin, I know... but I have to go for Arthur's sake especially if he figures out it has something to do with Mother" Merlin pulled me into his arms
"I'll be coming with you... I will demand he take me, for as much your sake as his" I nod and peck his lips
"I'd have it no other way dear... Arthur is probably going to try and get Father to agree tomorrow so.. I suggest we get some sleep and try our best to relax until we leave. Who knows what form of trap this could be"
By midday the following day I was ready to hit Arthur, he was just meant to tell him that we had to leave but no he got himself confined to his chambers. Arthur you complete idiot.
"Arthur are you a complete idiot or what?" Arthur was sitting by the window point a blade at the wall.
"It's not my fault, you have to find a way of getting me out of here... you have to pack and we will leave tonight" I let myself slum into the chair, where Merlin put his hand on my shoulder as he continued to make a basket of dirty clothes... I was ready to hit him. I sigh and nod
"Fine, Merlin please pack everything we need I shall get some rope and things" Arthur nodded
"Okay but are you sure you'll be able get it?" I smile and tap my nose
"I have a way of getting almost anything I want" Arthur laughed
"Of that I have no doubt"
"Are you sure you want to do this Arthur... I mean I'm just as curious about our Mother as you, but she died when we were born Arthur, what can she possibly know that would be so important?" Arthur sighed
"That's exactly what we need to find out... besides don't you want to know everything about her so we can at least feel like we knew and loved her?" I smile sadly
"I've loved Mother since the day I started loving you Arthur... the day I was born" Arthur looked slightly blown away
"I may love you idiot, but you're still just that an idiot and a clot pole" Arthur shook his head
"I sometimes wonder why I ever let you two confide in each other... all you seem to do is insult me in the same way" Merlin smiled
"Yes but at least you know her ones are because she loves you. Me, Meh... I just like insulting you" Arthur smiled slightly
"And I like punishing you for it Merlin" Merlin nodded
"I expect nothing less" This was going to be a LONG week. I could just tell.
By midday the following day, myself, Merlin and Arthur found ourselves at a cross road.
"Which way?" I asked. Arthur replied
"Left" But it seemed his horse did not like that idea and started leading him right.
"Morgause told me... when the time comes you will know your way" As Arthur disappeared around the corner I heard Merlin mumble
"The horse knows where we are going... great" I laugh and grab his hand and we hurried to catch up to him. By now I can imagine that Father would be furious with us and Gaius would be extremely worried, to which I was sorry for. Sometimes to do what is right you must seemingly do what others feel is wrong. I also figured that a search party will be sent out more for Arthur's sake more than my own because father knew I knew of how myself and Arthur were born.
What amused me was that Merlin rode between me and Arthur and was questioning Arthur relentlessly about the challenge, asking what if he didn't want to do the challenge and I too was curious and as amused as I was... I was more worried than anything else... the closer we got to the location in which the horse was leading us the more anxious I became. I realised that might be why Merlin was asking so many questions and looking at me in worry. He knew better than anyone sometimes my feels could not be explained, that they were more magical instinct than actual reasoning and he trusted that just as much as he did the horse he rode on.
Just as that thought crossed my mind an arrow hit the tree just in front of Merlin and he was thrown off his horse and hit the ground to which I had flashed in my visions, urg I hated how right I was sometimes. I was still on my horse as Arthur started sword fighting with one knight of Oden's land. Another came and tried to attack Merlin, I grabbed my sword and jumped off my horse
"Oi idiot" The guy turned around and I pushed the sword through his stomach, oh how I really wished I didn't have to kill so many people, but it's all in self defence. Another man started attacking Arthur and I caught sight of a man in a tree as another came to attack me.
"Merlin..." I pointed quickly to the tree and his eyes flashed gold just as my sword clashed with the knights one, we fought equally for a while, but I came back to back with Arthur and if there is one thing you never do is push enemies together because they will have plans in place if this happens.
"Arthur, these men seem to think they can just attack us... what do we say?" Arthur smiled
"In normal circumstances I would give an apology and then ask permission, but I'm not in the best of moods so... what do we do about it?" I smile
"I'd say we prove to them, whether we are in Camelot or not that Camelot's people or royal family should not be messed with" Arthur nodded
"Sounds good to me" He pushed off my shoulders as I did his, we swung to hit our own targets but then we went in opposite directions and pushed our blades into the other's attacks stomach. They fell to the ground almost at the same time and Arthur high fived me and I ran over to Merlin and grabbed his arm, pulling him up and we wasted little time in rounding up our horses and setting off again. We rode mostly in silence until we decided on a place to rest for dinner, to which Merlin insist he cook.
"What was your mother like?" The question was aimed at Arthur.
"Adira didn't tell you? I never knew her, She dead right after she was born" Merlin nodded
"I'm sorry" Arthur just continued
"I barely know anything about her" Merlin looked to him
"Can't you ask your father?" Arthur gave a false laugh
"He refuses to talk about her, apart from what Gaius has mentioned about her cooking I've not been told anything. Maybe it's too painful for father to remember, sometimes it's like she didn't even exist. I still have a... sense of her, as though she is part of me" Merlin let out a breath, I knew he understood this
"It's the same with my father... I never knew him, My mother barely spoke of him.. I have this vague memory but it's probably just my imagination" I clung to his side and he held my hand a little tighter than he usually would. It wasn't until the words came out did I realise I had spoken
"I'd give anything for a vague memory"
"Is that why you're both so determined to find Morgause, to see what she knows about your mother?" Arthur asked him then
"Is that so wrong?" Merlin shook his head his eyes speaking to Arthur's.
"No" Their eyes connected and there was an understanding there... an understanding that if I hadn't known better I'd stay they confided in each other.
"Come we should get some rest" He then left for his laid out bed roll. I laid in Merlin's arms that night to comfort him but more so to put myself at ease. My sleep was a troubled one has it had been for the last few months.
I woke with a start
"ARTHUR" Merlin was on his knee in front of me in seconds
"Adira, honey. I'm here" I smiled at him, thank god he'll never leave me
"Hi there handsome" He laughed
"Nothing compared to the beauty of you my lady. Did you want breakfast?" I nodded as he helped me up my feet.
Arthur and Merlin had cleared away all the stuff, all I had to do was eat and then they would take care of the rest. They had a silent communication going on between then and I was far too tired to try and figure out what was going on. Arthur's horse lead us to a lake, it was a beautiful sight and to the shock of us all the horse led us into the lake behind the waterfall and to a castle, to which I shivered at in response. Arthur and Merlin were bickering about how Morgause must have beaten him in the duel, I on the other hand was enjoying how refreshed I felt since going through the very cold waterfall.
We got of our horse and Arthur lead us inside the castle like structure and up some stairs, as Merlin linked arms with me and lead me in. We came to an empty room
"Now what?" Came Arthur's confused reply and Merlin replied
"Maybe we should ask the horse" I laughed slightly as Arthur rolled his eyes at us. Morgause appeared then, she looked beautiful in a very revealing dress...she looked strangely like Morgana, I was so confused as to why she would look like her.
"You kept your promise" She walked forward, her heels evident by the clicking sound... how you could wear heels in this place urg…talk about a waste of good shoes.
"What is the nature of this challenge you wish to set me?"
"Place your head on the block" She pulled the axe out of the head chop board. Okay seriously? Killing my brother in front of me...she'll know my wreathed if she touches him.
"You gave me your word you would do anything I asked" Merlin voiced his disagreements but Arthur did it anyways. Arrogant prat. I will not let her execute my brother. She swung the axe up but then she merely let it slip through her fingers and placed it on the ground leaning against the head chop thing.
"You have proved you truly are a man of your word Arthur Pendragon and for that I shall grant you one wish..." Oh wishes. never ever ever trust wishes. Arthur, have you learnt nothing? "Tell me what it is your heart most desires" My hand instantly reached for Merlin who smiles fondly at me for a moment.
"You said to me you knew my mother, tell me all you know about her" Morgause then said something so shocking
"Perhaps you would like to see her? Both of you would like to see her?" My reply came
"You cannot talk to the dead just as you cannot bring them back. I wish to speak with her sure but I know better than to know it true" Arthur's reply came as if he hadn't heard me
"I want that more than anything" Stupid, stupid brother. He knows she a sorcerer, we established that so WHY is he asking for her to send Mother here.
"As you wish" Arthur then stupidly followed her.
"I swear to god if she isn't the death of him.. I sure as hell will be" Merlin nodded as I mumbled to him before we ran to catch up with them. We were taken to a very dark magic place, the ceiling looked like smoke and the whole room was infested with plants and a alter stood in the middle, candles lit and very dark magically ingredients set on the table. She worked silently as if we were not there
"You realise Father is never going to forgive you for working with a sorcerer right?" He turned to me
"As he will you Adira, but what if Father's attitude towards magic is wrong?" I blink at him. Completely shock...
"Do... do you really believe that?" Arthur replied softly
"Perhaps it is not as simple as he would have us believe. Morgause is and she has caused us no harm.. surely not everyone who practices the art can be evil" Yet... Arthur, Yet. she will cause so much harm I almost can't keep eye contact with her.
"We don't actually know why she is doing this Arthur" Arthur looked like he wanted to say more but Morgause spoke
"It is time.. come" she grabbed both of our hands and told us to close our eyes. Merlin had backed into the corner. Terrified of this magic. I heard her openly speak the old tongue but I did not like the translation I was making in my head. I felt a wind blow and then time seemed to slow down.
"My children" I opened my eyes and scarcely believed the beautiful blonde women that stood in front of me.
"Mo-mother?" I choked. She ran and hugged us and we both clung to her for dear life
"When I last held you both, you were only babies, minutes old. But I remember the blue eyes I gave you. so beautiful, so precious" Arthur spoke to her
"I'm so sorry.. it is my, our birth that caused your death" I held her hand for dear life as she stroked Arthur's cheek
"No it is not your fault... besides its your father who should shoulder the blame" Oh here we go... father was not going to take this well. At all.
"What do you mean?" Mother was protecting him, even in her death, she blamed him for her death but did not only any anger or remorse over it. She merely accepted the truth as it stood, the kind of kind heart everyone tells me I get from my mother.
"It is best left in the past, what is important is that you both lived" Arthur looked at her desperately
"Do not leave me with more questions please" She took a deep back
"Your father.. he was desperate for an heir. Without an heir the Pendragon bloodline would end with him. But I could not conceive" I asked the question, only to seem as interested and shocked as I was before.
"How was I.. we born, tell us please Mother we have every right to know"
"Your father betrayed me... He went to the sorcerer Nimuer and asked for her help in conceiving a child, but she went too far and with that I had twins. I do not regret either of you but you were born of Magic"
"It's not true" Came Arthur's broken answer. I merely let the tears I'd been holding in fall.
"I'm sorry but your father had been deceiving you, as he did me... to create a life, a life must be taken... your father knew that so myself and my father died because of that"
"No" Arthur was in denial and I took his hand to which he held onto as if to look for something familiar after the shocking news.
"He scarified me so the Pendragon's bloodline could continue.. it makes you no less my children or me any less you Mother or any less proud of you. Both of you. To protect you I would have given my life willingly" Arthur started crying at that.
"Do not let it change you. I must bid you both farewell" She kissed both of our foreheads hugging us both in turn.
"Mother? Can I ask you one thing before you leave?" She nods
"Adira you may ask me anything"
"What did you ever see in father?" She laughed
"You must remember at that time, he was a different man, accepting of magic... for you see he did not know the lives that would be taken when he asked Nimuer for help so when I did died he blamed her and the rest of the magical community for my death. He was a rather handsome charming young man, much like Arthur" With that she disappeared and time seemed to run at a normal pace. Arthur demanded she be brought back but I merely looked at the ground trying to control my emotions, even though I knew all of what happened, it was difficult to understand father's reasoning for magic and even though this made more sense than any answer I'd ever gotten from him I still didn't quite believe this was all there was to it.
I could hear Morgause speaking, she was edging Arthur on to do something to Father for Mother's death I knew it but the words weren't registering but I could feel Merlin's panic at her words through the haze of emotion that consumed my brain.
"Are you alright?" Came Merlin when Morgause left. Arthur did not reply, he merely stood there for what felt like hours, which was ironic because the whole convosation with Mother happened in what 2 seconds? I turned to Merlin
"No, No I'm not but..." Merlin pulled me into his arms and lead me outside, Arthur followed in suit but more out of not wanting to feel alone that actually wanting to come with us. I knew this news had cut him deeply and I don't think he'd ever know just how much it hurt me to hear Father say all the things he did to make sure he's family did not end with him and mother... I should be greatful, but times like this I wish I were never born, maybe many lives would be safer and happy if I hadn't, but then would I have been mattered? I mean it always Arthur he wanted from the day he was born... I was just an 'extra'. Made me feel sick.
The ride back to Camelot was quick but painfully quiet, Merlin had tided his horse to mine so we both kept up but so he could keep an eye on me while keeping a firm eye on Arthur. I knew something was wrong by the time past the stable hands and straight into the courtyard. I took a quick glance at Merlin before I jumped off my horse and ran after Arthur, Merlin close at my side. Both of us fully aware of the fact that Arthur had just drawn his sword from the belt connected to his horse. Merlin and I were just about to walk in when Leon shut the door behind us.
"NOO Leon I have to get in there" Leon wouldn't budge, neither the guards. I would seem even now father's word meant more than mine. They said nothing about me listening though, I heard Arthur accuse Father all of the things I've ever longed to tell them, Father being his usual self had said he was enchanted... Yeah he would know. I thought bitterly. They were screaming at each other...
"Leon please, this is a family matter, I have every right to be in there as Arthur does" Leon looked sorry for me. But I did not want his sympathy.
"Okay fine, but Merlin must stay here" I turned to Merlin
"Merlin please I have to, you know what to do if worse comes to worst okay?" He nodded and grabbed my shoulder and then I pushed over the doors to the chambers as Father screamed at Arthur about respect. The doors shutting behind me.
"Respect, yeah like you know what that even means, even now you're willing to lie to your own son all because you're sorry little pride would get hurt... I'm not saying Morgause didn't have her own agenda for telling myself and Arthur this news" I gave father a pointed look 'you tell him I know, I tell him you never wanted him' and he seemed to understand
"But you have NO RIGHT, to keep this from us. I have every mind to pack up my bags and leave the fate of this kingdom to those who seek revenge for all of your wrongdoings" While I was spitting at him Arthur threw his armour glove at the floor besides Father. No NO NO NO NO... not my nightmare, not my vision. Please god no! They exchanged words and Arthur spoke words I dare not believe, he sounded so much like his father which was painfully ironic with Arthur's next sentence being
"I no longer thing of myself as your son" Why was I just standing here paralyzed. They strikes with swords became horrible well matched, I never knew father could fight so well. It played out just like my dream, Arthur finally pushed father into the throne and held the blade to his throat, paying little mind to the murderous glint in my brothers eyes I jumped across the table, kicked Arthur back as I grabbed the sword and put myself openly between my father and my brother... by god when did my life become so complicated.
"Adira, get out of the way. I do not wish to harm you" I scoff
"Well then put down that sword and we can discuss this... like adults" He dared to swing forward and my sword clashed with his.
"You know Arthur, for someone who claims not to be his son you sure are acting like him. Since when did we take our revenge out on people by attacking them downright. Since when did we not give the person a fighting chance?. AND SINCE WHEN DID YOU EVER THINK KILLING HIM WOULD MAKE IT BETTER?" Tears were streaming down my face.
"Do you have ANY idea how the people will see you the moment they realised you had the ability to kill your own father in cold blood. Do you realise what people are going to think when you start striking down people who are loyal to father? The people will see you as another king like him. They don't want that Arthur, they want and heck no thanks to him NEED a king, loyal understanding king to make the future I've heard almost every sorcerer I've ever met tell me about...well the ones who weren't trying to kill me but still. Do you see that by doing this Morgause is only killing you both from the inside out. Father will be dead and you'll be in no fit state mentally or physically to run this kingdom, which means to falls to me but I don't know how to run the kingdom and no man I plan to marry is of royal and loyal blood so please... tell me how doing this helps anyone?"
Arthur's eyes met mine, they were pleading with me to let him do it.
"MERLIN" I shouted out the door and he came running in Leon not being able to control him. As my eyes caught Merlin's Arthur clashed his sword with mine and held the sword to my throat.
"If you will not get out of my way, I will make you" My eyes met Merlin's. Help me, please.
"ARTHUR NO, please... don't, don't hurt her. You don't want to do this...She's your sister, what has she ever done but try and be honest with you?" Arthur's right arm wrapped my around neck holding my back against his chest as if I were his hostage. His sword met Father's chest and there was little I could do.
"My mother died because of him" Arthur spat at Merlin.
"Killing you father won't bring her back, you've lost one parent don't lose another" Father spoke then
"Listen to him Arthur" Merlin stepped forward, his eyes never leaving mine as he edged the word close to his skin.
"Arthur please.. Put the sword down" He was trying to remain calm but Arthur just glared at Arthur trying to convince Merlin and that's when I realised I was never actually in any danger, he knew if Merlin came the one way to make him try and persuade him into his own better judgement then maybe everything would be okay. I let out a breath and Merlin seemed to relax slightly at my relaxation, but he still continued to talk to Arthur
"You heard what my mother said, After everything he has done.. You believe he deserves to live?" I sigh
"Arthur we do not have the power to control who lives and who dies, no matter how much we want to... it just cannot be" Arthur was now trying to convince me
"He executes those who have used magic and yet he has used it himself" Oh Arthur how long I wanted you to say those words...my beautiful brother if only you knew how often my pleasant dreams have included those words, but not like this... not with violence. It's never the answer and it never will be.
"You have caused so much suffering and pain, I will put an end to that" I mouthed the words along with him at Merlin, I then felt Merlin's pain and I knew what he was going to say... oh how I wish I was in his arms.
"She was lying. She's an enchantress, she tricked you that was not your mother you saw... it was an illusion. Everything.." Oh honey, this was so hard for him to say, my eyes found his and I nodded at him ever so slightly saying 'till death do us part' and he continued finding a strength in me
"Everything your mother said to you was Morgauses words" Arthur didn't want to believe it, he had heard Merlin and I realised for the last surprising time in so many weeks just how much Arthur trusted Merlin, which is life, effectively with his kingdom, with his sister, with a throne and a title one day too I hoped... but that was too distance future, if this didn't even the way I hope then none of that will ever be happening.
"You don't know that" I sigh as my silent tears continued to fall.
"This is what she wants, to turn us against father...but I do not believe the word of those who use magic Arthur, nor should you. I told you what will happen if you kill him, it's what she wants"
"He speaks the truth Arthur" Arthur looked as if he was about to put his sword down, mine having clutter to the floor as Arthur pulled me into him. Father please we had him until you spoke, shut up!
"Swear to me it isn't true, you are not responsible for my mother's death, give me your word" he shouted and screamed at father, Well yes, he kinda was... but you need to believe the lie for a while longer.
"I swear on my life, I loved your mother... There is not a day that passes that I don't wish her safe and alive, I could never have done anything to harm her" Arthur slowly dropped the sword and fell to the floor beside father and hugged him as best he could from where he sat. I took one look at Merlin and he ran, not caring who saw and wrapped his arms around me spinning me around.
"Oh thank god, thank god, thank god. I thought I'd lost you... not again. I will not go through that again" I let him stroke my hair and almost suffocate me all he wanted because I was crying so hard and clinging to him so tightly.
"Merlin I'm sorry... I should have stayed with you I should have-" He cut me off
"No no Adira, you did what you thought was right and at the time you had every right to intervene I just wish I'd not left you alone... if anything had-" He cut himself off the words too painful to even speak. Merlin pulled away from me, but kept hold of one of my hands
"My lady, please do me the honour of leading you to your chambers" I shake my head.
"No Merlin, I am going nowhere, not until you tell me why you always do the right thing" Merlin smiled softly
"Because some very beautiful blonde lady once said to me 'Do not think of what you can gain from the lose of life, but rather how others will precieve your prevention of it' and this rather elegant young lady also once told me 'sometimes it is better to be hated for doing the right thing than being loved for doing the wrong'... seems I have a good friend to steer me right" I smile, knowing I'd ever actually said it quiet like that.
"Oh I see and whom may I ask is this women? I'd love to meet her?" Merlin laughed.
"She is standing right in front of me, with a beautiful smile and a most stubborn trait for being right" I shrug
"it runs in the family I guess?" I cast my eyes over at Father who was eyeing us with a kind of kindled interest, oh crap.
"Merlin would you do me a favour though?" He nodded
"Anything" I smile
"Take Arthur back to his chambers, get him out of his armour, bathed, dressed in more comforting clothes and then make sure all the equipment from the horses are stored in their rightful place please... oh and when you've done that, there is something I wish to give you to thank you for all your wonderful work today" Merlin nodded and turned to father, nodding respectfully and then Merlin bent down beside Arthur
"Sire I am going to lift your arm over my shoulder and take you back to your chambers, if I may be so bold as to say maybe when you are changed you should consider apologizing to Adira, she feared for her life from her own brother" Arthur looked straight at Merlin, father took shocked to see him speak out of line terms in which Merlin spoke. Arthur nodded at Merlin, the first sighs of communications since his mumbles of sorry to father for trying to kill him I'd heard while myself and Merlin spoke.
I went back to my chambers and got changed out of my riding dress and put on one of my more comfortable dresses. I walked slowly to Merlin's chambers and before I'd pushed the door open all the way I started calling in
"Merlin I was wondering if-" I cut off as I saw father.
"Adira what are you doing here?" I sigh, why must I explain my actions.
"I wanted to see if Merlin knew where Gaius was, I was looking for him... what are you doing here?" Father looked down at the floor "You know father.. you really have no idea just how many times Merlin's saved your life and I'm started to believe him being here is for the good of the kingdom" Father looked like he might shout but then something in his eyes changed and he held his hands nervously.
"I know he has always been loyal to this kingdom, Arthur and you to extents that go way beyond his required duties... I also know you and Arthur trusted him more than you probably trust me right now" I scoff
"Not just right now...since the minute he walked into this kingdom and saved Arthur's life because he wasn't going to let someone else die... do you have any idea what that says about his character? And yours? You've arrested him what twice on the charge of sorcery, even though both times he's been proved innocent and still ever so loyal to this kingdom... do you have any idea how much a better man he is than you?"
"I'm fully aware I'm not perfect Adira, but as my daughter I expect respect and commitment" I step closer to him.
"I may have helped save your life, I may be your daughter and I may protect this kingdom from anything that harms it But I will not put innocent lives at stake just to prove to you just how badly you rule this kingdom, I will not speak badly about you because you have the respect of the knights and Arthur, but... I will not be ordered to respect and be commitment to you. It is something you shall have to earn because you forget I know more about my mother than even you probably" Merlin walked through the door and placed his bag down on the table.
I knew he'd heard almost every word I could feel it but I did not flinch or move or weaver and this is exactly what the dragon meant when you can communication without tipping off anyone.
"My lord, My lady" He bowed respectfully.
"I wanted to thank you in person for your actions this morning, you are a loyal servant to Arthur and a good friend to Adira and I am most grateful" Pfft grateful my arse.
"I was just doing my duty my lord" I stepped closer to Merlin, relaxing the closer to him and I knew father eyed that with suspicion but he would have to prove that anything was going on and well no one who knew would ever rat us out, especially not us so..
"You have proven yourself to be a trusted Ally in the fight against magic" I almost snorted in surprise at his words... against magic? how obvious do thinks need to be by god!
"Me?" Merlin looked shocked, a amused smile spreading on his face.
"Those who practice magic will seek to exploit Arthur's and Adira's inexperience, they will attempt to corrupt them. you must be extra vigilante" Okay since when did a compliment turn into a threat?
"I will keep my eyes piled" I nod
"And so will I" Father smiled at Merlin in one of those rare... you're a good person in my eyes looks that made even me dare believe Merlin will never be thrown against Father's hatred for magic and come out the other end a little more patience but even more a better man.
"I know you will" His tone almost soft as he turned to leave "If you ever speak of what happened between me and Arthur to another living soul, I will have you hanged Merlin" He turned to leave and Merlin sounded after him
"Right of course, yes my lord" I waited until I knew Father wasn't listening.
"Right of course, yes my lord" I mimicked and Merlin grabbed me and kissed me fiercely as we laugh into the kiss. He pulled away but still held me close as Gaius came in
"Was that Uther I just saw leaving?" Gaius's face a picture as Merlin sat down, pulling me onto his lap and Gaius sitting opposite us.
"Yes, he just popped to say hello" Gaius looked confused
"Merlin what did he want?"
"He wanted to thank me for being a trusted ally in the fight against magic" Merlin kind of shook his head as if he still didn't quiet believe it had happened. Gaius's reply came as I snuggle into his chest.
"How you manage to keep that head on your shoulders is a mystery beyond our greatest mind... Uther should be grateful, your life, both your lives would have been easier and safe if he had died.. you must have been tempted?" I don't know who he was talking to but Merlin's reply came.
"Maybe for a moment, but Arthur would not have forgiven himself if he had done it. It would have destroyed him" Gaius's reply came to Merlin
"I'm proud of you Merlin" Merlin leaned back
"Arthur's thanking me, Uther's grateful, you're proud and this lady loves me... I've never been this popular" For one of the hardest things you've ever had to do. Gaius tried not to laugh but I rested my head on his forehead
"I'm almost certain it won't last" Merlin looked mockingly wounded
"You loving me?" I giggle
"no everything else.. me loving you is the one thing you'll never lose" Merlin smiled lovingly at me
"I guess I can handle that... are you okay though? Arthur still hasn't come and found you?" I shook my head
"No not yet, I assume he'll walk through the door any moment. He thanked you?" Merlin sighed
"For proving to him once again that magic is evil and not to be trusted" I hug him a little closer
"Oh honey, he'll know when the time is right... he'll know when destiny persuades fate to hurry it's arse along and in the mean time you can rest safe knowing that you stopped him from doing something that might have shattered his very being" Merlin scoffed
"I almost wish I hate... he's an clotpole when he's not crying over magic" I burst out laughing
"Seems you have the gist of my brother.. only took you 2 and a half years..." I didn't care about the lies right now, I didn't care that Gaius was watching us with loving eyes, I didn't care that Arthur would be walking past any minute, heck I didn't even care if Father walked through that door instead. I loved him, he's just put his heart and feelings on the line to protect the future of Camelot.. he deserved a little love and respect in return... and unlike father he had mine earned and with interest too.