Wild Rose

After Laguna's news, Lightning and Firion had boarded the Phantom Train again. His words really had brought them hope. All they had to do now, was track down their friend. It wouldn't be much longer now. Of course, finding him would be the hard part.

They sat quietly on the train – both glancing at each other from time to time, but never when the other was looking. However, unbeknownst to Lightning, Firion was focused on something specific – the rose actually being secondary at this particular time.

He looked at Lightning for a moment as she stared out the window – a rather hopeful look in her eye this time around. But, despite her apparent joy at Laguna's news…he still couldn't bring himself to smile as he looked down.

"I don't get it. This is what we've been wanting this whole time. I should be happy, but…" he thought, as he slumped in his seat.

He lifted his head a little once more to look at Lightning again. He couldn't help it. They only had so much more time together before things went back to how they had been – both carrying on their separate ways to gather their crystals and confront Chaos. Though he knew that was their real goal…what was going on now, was all he cared about. He didn't want it to end. How could it? Not now. Not after he had finally come to understand exactly what had made him so…strange around Lightning, to say the least.

He wanted to tell her – ever since he became certain of what he'd been feeling all this time. There was no better moment than now. If he didn't take this opportunity…he might regret it forever. It was like déjà vu with the moment at Prima Vista when it all began. He'd lost his chance then upon discovering the rose's disappearance. But, now that they were about to find it…just the thought gave him enough confidence to tell her.

At least…that was what he wanted to believe as he started to stand up, looking at Lightning intently. This was it. He could do this. If he told her…maybe, somehow she'd truly understand and with any luck…maybe even feel the same way.

"You can do this." he thought to himself, as he closed his eyes for a moment.

He was taking in the moment. Within seconds, he'd finally let it all out and this weight on him would be lifted. All of his problems would go away, and at the very best…the rose would finally be back in their hands – completing it all.

He took a step forward, hesitating somewhat but still moving nonetheless. His heart beat faster as he shook with anticipation and nervousness – and also from the slight rumbling of the tracks. There she sat, just a couple feet away, still staring out the window. All he had to do was say her name, and the rest would follow. He could do it. He had to do it. This was the moment he'd been waiting for so long.

"…Lightning?" he said, his voice a bit shaky.

She turned her head toward him and her eyes made him completely forget what he was about to say for a moment.

"No! No! NO!" he shouted in his head.

She stared at him in silence as he fought to recollect his thoughts. It had all been planned out perfectly. He was not going to mess it up this time!

"Not now! Don't panic. Focus! You can do this. She's right there."

After another moment or so, he relaxed and it all came back to him as he looked at Lightning. She was still looking back at him waiting for him to speak. He'd said her name. She hoped there had been a reason.

However, before he could say anything to her, she spoke up.

"Look. I know things have been really hard on us lately – you especially. But, let's not let any of that get to us. It's all done and over and we've made it this far."

She looked at him.

"Let's just get the rose back now. Everything else can wait."

Her words made Firion's stomach drop and just like that…he lost his confidence once again. That hadn't been what he'd wanted to hear. In fact…he hadn't wanted to hear anything. For once, he'd wanted to do the talking – and after that, wished he had.

His head dropped as he looked at the floor, sighing in regret – and a bit of sorrow. He wasn't crying, but he might as well have been. Why did she have to go and say that? Why did she have to speak at all? He had only been seconds away from telling her what she'd wanted to know for the longest time, and ironically she had been the one to ruin it…for both of them.

He stood there in complete silence as Lightning looked at him in question – unable to imagine what could have happened. A moment ago, he seemed ready to say something – and now he just stood there like someone had thrown something in his face.

"…Are you alright, Firion?" she asked, tipping her head a bit.

He only let out another sigh in response as he lifted his head a little.

"…Y-yes. I'm…"

He slowly stood up, realizing that he couldn't let her know something was wrong. Though it killed him, almost literally so…he figured it would have to wait just a little bit longer. Apparently, the moment hadn't been as perfect as he'd thought after all.

"…I'm fine. You're right. Let's just get the rose back. That's what we intended, right?" he said.

Lightning nodded lightly in response and Firion turned around, slowly trekking back over to his seat as he sat down – slumping, once again, as he went over things in his mind, taking another quick glance at Lightning as she had already begun staring back out the window.

"…Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." he thought.

He felt his heart begin to break. The moment had seemed so right. It was so embarrassing and upsetting for him – and he hadn't even been able to say it.

He looked out the window as the train continued carrying them along the tracks to their destination. He could only wonder…wonder if the time had truly been right, wonder if he'd ever get to tell her - and most importantly…wonder if any of it was even worth it anymore.