Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except what I most humbly create. While, at times, I will take verbatim from the game, I mostly use the events of the Dragon Age games, expansions and universe as a loose structure around which to construct my re-imagined tale. If you are looking for a strict canon piece, I have no desire to offend, and so I warn you upfront!
When reading this tale, I hope you can easily imagine it being told by the very best of storytellers in Varric (from DA:2). In my version of events, Varric meets "The Hero" (my Elissa Cousland) in Kirkwall during the time period of DA:2. I mention this only so that readers can understand his connection along the way, and so I don't have to mention and rehash it again and again as I make my way through the tale.
A/N: This chapter definitely needs a NSFW WARNING! It is by no means over the top or graphically vulgar (at least I don't think it is) but there is adult content and so I wanted to make sure readers were warned! It all occurs during Elissa's personal Fade nightmare – so, if you just want to avoid that and read the rest – you should be safe from the adulty portions.
Thank you to my readers and followers and my newest reviewers, and to my faithful Lady Beta artemiskat.
-Frayed One
Chapter Twenty-One: In the Fade
Elissa had taken the longest and most detail oriented bath of her life, and now stood pacing anxiously next to her bed – the short blue nightgown she had chosen brushing lightly against her thighs as she moved.
She did not hear him open the door, noticing him only when she turned mind stride and saw him standing there - emotions warring on his face as he looked her over – desire was clearly evident, but there was... more – something as yet unnamed that hung heavily in the air.
Nathaniel, her heart sang, skipping a beat as she lost herself in the stormy gaze of his steel grey eyes.
He closed the distance between them, standing so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his body, but he made no move to touch her – gray eyes holding green – waiting, she assumed, for her to take the initiative and show him this was indeed still what she wanted from him. She reached out and took his hand, drawing him slowly to the bed in confirmation. When her knees hit the edge, she sat and scooted back to lie against her pillows – waiting for him to follow behind her.
Nathaniel crawled across the bed, stopping to kneel just between her knees – the long creamy expanse of her legs exposed where the hem of her mid thigh length gown ended. The deep indigo of it made it appear as though her milky skin glowed in the flickering candlelight of her bedchamber.
He reached forward, pulling her into a seated position – taking her hands in his and looking at the linked fingers as he tried to still his thundering heart. As if she read his mind – could sense his hesitation - she leaned forward – and after what seemed a lifetime of near misses and intentional avoidance, she brushed her lips softly against his own.
All resolve crumbled, the last vestiges of anything within her that possessed the ability to fight against the swelling tide of her feelings for him gave way. He deepened the kiss, encouraging her lips to part for him and sliding his tongue carefully into her mouth.
Elissa responded in kind, coming to her knees and crawling onto his lap, tugging insistently at his hair and kissing him as though he was the very air she needed to breathe - showing him that she was, without a doubt, in love with him too.
She pulled away from him for a moment, and he looked at her quizzically before watching her fingers slide down and start to pull his tunic across his stomach and up across his chest. He flipped it off his arms and tossed it onto the floor – reaching over to kiss her again, leaning her back into the soft bed as she explored his mouth with her tongue.
He could feel the bare skin of her legs on his rib cage; he reveled in the sensation of her long fingers running delicious trails against the bare skin of his back. This time it was him who pulled away, gray eyes pinning green with the last vestiges of control he could muster.
"Are you certain that you want this, Elissa? That you want it to be me?" Nathaniel asked, fighting against her as she repeatedly tried to reclaim his lips. "We are rapidly approaching the point of no return, if we continue in this manner, I will not be able to hold myself back from you; and once this is done – it is done, there is no undoing it."
"Why must you always doubt that I know my own mind – my own… heart, Nathaniel?" Elissa questioned, a slight frown creasing her features as she stroked his jaw, gently tracing the edge of his bottom lip. "I want this and I want it to be with you, and only you. I do not wish for you to hold yourself back. I give myself to you fully, and would hope that you will do the same for me."
Hearing those words was all he needed to throw caution completely to the wind. He pressed her back against the mattress, kissing her passionately - one hand in her hair as he slowly slid the other along the smooth expanse of her outer thigh - seeking to remove her small clothes – but when he reached the smooth skin of her hip, he found nothing there.
"A-are you… are you naked beneath this?" Nathaniel asked, his voice breaking in his passion.
"I did not expect that I would need my underthings, as you would only be removing them later." Elissa replied, laughing slightly as she used her teeth to lightly nip at his throat.
"I swear, woman, you will be the death of me," he growled, taking her mouth again – feeling her fingers searching for the laces at the front of his breeches as his hand found purchase against her soft breast through the fabric of her gown. "Though I suspect I shall, at least, die a very happy man."
"You are no innocent, Nathaniel," she whispered huskily, her voice hitching when his thumb grazed her nipple. "You bewitched me years ago – I have been putty in your hands ever since."
They were both lost in one another, consumed by the heat of their bodies winding together. Elissa felt him shift his body, giving himself room to slide his pants over his hips and push them down – deftly kicking them to the floor with a flick of an ankle. She chuckled, and looked appreciatively over the expanse of his lean body – feeling the pressure of his length against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh as he settled against her once again.
"Did you lock the door?" Elissa breathed, her eyes glancing over to it as Nathaniel worked his teeth down the skin of her shoulder as he pulled her gown aside.
"Yes, I locked the door." Nathaniel replied, his words muffled against her breast as he took the hard bud of her nipple into his mouth.
"Oh, Maker's mercy!" she gasped, her body arching of its own accord – her hands finding purchase in his ebony tresses as he shifted his attention to her other side.
She should have been in ecstasy, she should have been lost in the sensations he was sending coursing through her body – but instead she found herself unable to shake the sensation that the door had not been locked properly and that someone would walk through it and catch them at any moment.
"Nathaniel, oh… oh! Nate… I-I need you to…" Elissa muttered, forcing herself to ignore the way he was making her whole body come alive and pull his face up from her navel and meet her eyes. "Please, check the door for me. I can't shake the feeling that someone is going to walk in and catch us."
"Honestly, Lissa… you really want me to get up and go check the door? Can't you just take my word for it?" Nathaniel huffed, rolling his eyes at her dismissively before trailing kisses back down her body and attempting to settle back to his task.
"Please, Nathaniel… humor me and check the door…" she repeated, pushing him away insistently before he could distract her once again with his talented mouth.
"Elissa, I can assure you no one is going to come through the door because no one is here but us," he replied, looking up at her long enough to offer a half smile before returning to the path of kisses he left as he slid her nightgown lower and lower. "Now just relax and enjoy this."
She laid back and did as he asked, feeling the chemise of her gown trailing down her legs and off over her toes until he left her naked before him. She felt the warmth of his lips, feather light, beginning at her ankle and making their way up her leg leaving fire trailing behind them. She wanted to give herself over to it – but she could not, something nattering away in her mind that would not give her rest.
"Nathaniel, have we... done... this before?" Elissa asked, the haze within her suddenly clearing – giving her the distinct sensation that she had lived these moments before.
"What? Made love? No… this is the first time…" Nathaniel laughed, the warmth of his breath sending shudders through her body as it blew across her thigh. "I am certain you would remember had we lain together before."
"You're right… but I-I cannot put aside the feeling that all this has happened before," she replied, moaning as he moved ever closer to what she knew to be his destination.
"You're imagining things, Elissa," he insisted, his voice taking on a harsh tone as though he was annoyed with her.
She looked down at him then. He was visibly perfect in every detail, physically exactly as she remembered him… but his personality was... off. Nathaniel would never pressure her in this way, especially when it came to the subject of her maidenhead. He would never dismiss her questions as though she were some simple child.
It was then she knew – this had happened before, somewhere in her memories of long ago. What she saw now was not real, and neither was Nathaniel.
"Stop, stop!" Elissa screeched, shoving him off of her forcefully. "I know what this is… I know you aren't real – this is a memory that's been manipulated. You and I… Nathaniel and I never made it this far. Fergus came through the door and stopped it."
"What are you talking about?" Nathaniel hissed, his face wrinkling in anger as he glared at her. "You sound like you've gone off in the head!"
"Perhaps, but what I say is true," she answered, tilting her chin up angrily and holding his eyes. "You are not Nathaniel. The man I loved would never speak to me in this way."
"The man you loved?" he laughed, crawling up over her and pinning her down lightly with his body. "So am I to understand you love me no longer, that you've replaced me with another?"
"I could never replace you, Nathaniel." Elissa whispered, stroking at his face tenderly though she now knew him for what he truly was. "Even should I choose to open my heart to another, part of it will always belong to you." He looked up at her then, believing she had again accepted his lie - laying a tender kiss against her lips and leaning into her welcoming embrace. "I'm sorry…" she whispered, closing her eyes as she pushed the dagger her hand had pulled from the bedside into his heart with as much strength as she could muster.
"Why?" the demon groaned in Nathaniel's voice, before falling heavy and lifeless against her.
When she opened her eyes, the illusion had been broken. Her bedroom was gone, she was fully clothed, and the body that lay atop her was that of a now deceased desire demon. She shoved it away, curling into herself and sobbing.
He had been an illusion, but the emotions he had brought back to life in her had been real… the sensation of killing him, had been real. She allowed herself to wallow in her misery for only a moment longer before pulling herself together and standing to take in her surroundings.
Nothing about The Fade was constant. It was a shimmering, intangible, ever moving landscape composed of bits and pieces of memory and pure fabrication. Elissa struggled to make sense of the place she found herself in – parts of it looked to be walls, but parts were simply nondescript dirt landscape.
On a nearby hillside stood an odd looking pedestal with something similar to a sundial in the center of it.
Touching this could be very, very bad, she thought, her mind drifting back to the phylactery that had broken beneath her fingers producing a demon in its wake and wondering if she could take on another Revenant if touching this structure also revealed one. "Honestly, Elissa, what choice do you have?" she muttered aloud, taking in a deep breath and worrying her brow in frustration. "It's either touch the scary odd pedestal or wait for more demons to come and put on Nathaniel's face."
With that, she reached her hand forward and laid it on the sundial portion of the pedestal. At her touch, something she could only describe as a map opened within her mind – showing her the pathways that linked various portions of the Fade. Clearly all of them led somewhere, to her companions she hoped, but at the moment only one was open to her – and it led to a place that had been labeled The Raw Fade.
She made a conscious effort to choose that point, setting her mind to it – and when she opened her eyes again, she indeed found herself to be elsewhere. Just ahead of her, down a slight slope, stood a man dressed in the robes of a Circle mage. Elissa noted how handsome he was – a fact that made her wonder if he was another desire demon. It seemed odd that it would choose to take the form of a man she did not know, but perhaps desire demons simply assumed mortals thought any body would be acceptable for seduction purposes.
"Who are you? Where did you come from? Are you a demon?" he demanded, similar thoughts to her own now running rampant in his mind as inspected her cautiously. "No… wait… I can see that you're not." He said finally, his body and face relaxing, "You're like me… well, then congratulations on getting out of your trap!"
"Thank you, it doesn't feel like much of a victory," she replied, her face sullen and haunted as she remembered Nathaniel's limp body falling on her as she took his life. "M-my companions…" she stuttered, pulling herself back to focus, "are they trapped somewhere too?"
"You came here with others?" the man asked, arching an eyebrow. "Then, yes, they would be trapped too. The demon traps everyone who comes here in a dream that they can't… or won't… try to leave. I thought I'd succeeded when I escaped my own illusion, but I've been wandering these grey segments of in-between for a lifetime."
"Who are you?" Elissa asked when it suddenly occurred to her that she didn't even know his name.
"My name is Niall," he replied, smiling at her. "I was trying to save the Circle when I encountered the sloth demon. I expect our experiences were similar."
"Niall! Owain mentioned you!" she said; hope surging forward inside her – Wynne had mentioned that this man would know how to fight the evil now trapping them in their own minds. "My name is Elissa."
"Owain helped me greatly, though I suppose now I'll never be able to repay him…" Niall answered, his brow furrowing in sadness and despair. "The Litany he gave me was to be our weapons against the blood mages' domination, but it's too late… everyone is dead."
"Why are there so many blood mages here? How on earth could they have combined their forces so seamlessly under the eyes of the Templars?" she wondered aloud, her Fade body moving through the motion of pacing – hoping that it would bring her the same ability to focus that it did in reality.
"I don't know. They must have been practicing in secret, teaching others… I knew these people… trusted them…" the mage replied, his voice breaking with emotion. "I had hoped with the Litany… but now… this place drains you of everything: hope, feeling, life…"
"We will find a way out, Niall." Elissa assured him, her voice steel – her mind focused. "I give you my word."
"No, there is no way out of here. You think there might be… I know that look, I've worn that face… but you are wrong. There is nothing." Niall insisted, shaking his head and worrying his hair with his long fingers. "You see that pedestal there?" he called her attention to the one nearby, the one identical to the other she had used to come from her personal nightmare into the Raw Fade. "I've studied the runes on it… runes that signify different islands of the sloth demon's domain."
Islands… okay that's what the end points are… but what of the points inside? she thought, pondering it briefly before turning her attention back to the mage.
"The sloth demon itself is on the center island, but you can't get there," he continued. "The five islands around the center somehow form a protective ward. I thought I was getting somewhere when I figured that out, and I went to each island in turn… only to have my hopes dashed," he said, his face twitching as wave after wave of emotion flowed over it. "There's always an obstacle! You'll see the path so clearly, but be unable to travel it… and it will taunt you until it drives you mad."
"Calm yourself, Niall, and refocus." Elissa said, realizing she needed to switch tactics and set about reassuring this poor tormented soul before she would be able to turn their joint energies toward solving the puzzle. "Can you do that for me? I know, it is a lot to ask – and a lot for you to give me as I am a total stranger – but I believe that we can do this, together, I just need your knowledge for I am quite ignorant of the matters of magic and the Fade."
"You are no mage, then?" Niall asked, and Elissa shook her head. "I suppose the armor should have given it away, but I have seen Arcane Warriors who dressed in a similar fashion…" he contemplated her request, hesitating between remaining in his resignation or allowing himself to hope again. "Alright, I will help you as best I can – but do not blame me when we fail."
"If we fail, I will only blame myself," she assured him, squeezing lightly at his hands. "Now, tell me what you can about this protective ward."
"I don't know much. I-I think the sloth demon has placed lesser demons on each of those islands," he answered, releasing her hands as she started to pace again. "I've seen them. They shift between different shapes, but they exist. Defeating them and their leader may be the only way to unlock the pathways that lead to the sloth demon. But you'd have to get to them first… I couldn't… I was too afraid to try."
"We are all afraid of something, Niall – we all falter in the face of the unknown, there is no shame in admitting as much." Elissa replied, meeting his eyes so that he understood she thought no less of him. "You mentioned obstacles before?"
"Yes… obstacles and… mad dream things – a river of flame before a portal, a door which shows you freedom through a keyhole into which no key will fit…" Niall described his torment to her, and she began to see why the man had been so daunted. "I once found a passageway smaller than my hand with a mouse going to and fro through it. Silly thing fled before I could question it."
"Well, you probably appeared menacing to something so small," she chuckled, thinking of him chasing about after it. "I doubt very many vermin are sought for questioning."
"And I doubt it was truly a mouse. Almost everyone you see here is a dreamer or a demon." He replied, watching recognition cross her features as she absorbed his revelation. "Each dreamer will know things that another may not. The mouse could have told me what lay beyond the tiny passage or how to get there. Perhaps, even, how I might make myself small like him and crawl through myself." He continued, and Elissa's brain sped – starting to unravel the puzzle. "If one could become small enough to travel one path, there would have to be similar ways to travel the others."
"Could my companions be on one of these islands?" Elissa asked, wondering if she cleared the correct barriers if she could make her way to them.
"I… I don't know. There are many dreamers." Niall answered. "It is possible that you might find a way to reach them in the islands."
"What about the demon that holds us here… a sloth demon, I think you called it…" she said, knowing that ultimately they would be forced to confront it. "Can you tell me anything about it?"
"It will not let us go easily, if at all," he said, shaking a bit as though he'd felt a chill. "I know that much."
"Then I will simply have to defeat it, then it will have no choice." Elissa said, coming to a stop in her pacing and tossing a wicked grin at Niall.
"You make it seem so easy." Niall laughed in reply.
"I doubt it will be, but it doesn't hurt to wish for it," she shrugged, moving off toward the pedestal. "I'll be back."
When she lay her hands upon the pedestal, she was presented again with the map she had seen when last she touched it – and, just as before, no pathways other than the one leading between where she was in the Raw Fade and where she had been trapped before, was open to her.
Then something here must lead forward, Elissa thought, beginning to explore the area around them until she came across a fluttering purple energy barrier. Though it looked similar to the barrier that Wynne had erected to keep the demons away from the children – it offered no resistance when Elissa touched it, in fact, she could swear that her fingers vanished once they had crossed beyond it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, she thought, stepping fully into it.
She lost herself for a moment, feeling broken up into bits and intangible before coalescing on the other end of what she now understood to be a portal. Before she could even attempt to wrap her mind around what had just happened, she heard the sounds of battle and pulled loose her blades, charging down the hillside in front of her.
Just ahead a rage demon lurked, menacing what appeared to be a mouse. The poor creature stood no chance against the demon, and so Elissa screamed at it – drawing the attention onto her self and raining hell down upon it.
When she'd finally put the thing down, she turned her attention to the creature – broken and bloody at her feet. She knelt, and reached to cradle it in her hands, wishing she had some ability to heal or comfort it.
"Thank you… but it's too late for me…" the creature whispered, and Elissa found herself stunned that the idea of a talking rodent didn't strike her as at all unusual. "Kill Yevena… the demoness that rules here… she protects her master… Sloth."
"Where can I find her?" Elissa asked, stroking at the tiny furry head carefully.
"There is a door… a door only demon's can touch… it remains intangible to mortals," the mouse explained, its tiny body heaving with the effort it expended to relay the information to her ears. "The key must be in another realm…"
"Do you know how I can travel there?" she continued, sensing the time it had remaining was quickly slipping away. "I've been unable to find a way out of the Raw Fade."
"T-take my power… save any others you find trapped in nightmares… kill the demons that guard Sloth…" the creature mumbled, its tiny voice growing more and more quiet with each word. "Make my…"
Elissa watched the life leaving its body, the energy hanging before her in the air for a moment before slicing forward through the air and planting itself in her chest. She fell forward, dropping the tiny corpse and clutching at her chest as an odd sensation flowed through her. After a few moments, she stood, holding her arms out and inspecting her body.
He gave me his power… but how do I use it? she wondered, wishing that Morrigan were there. Though the witch would have chastised her for her ignorance, she would also have known exactly what to do. Unable to come up with a better plan, she closed her eyes and focused on the memory of the mouse. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself much closer to the ground.
Did I fall down? she wondered, considering the idea that she may have passed out from the simple effort of trying to access the power she'd been afforded, before catching a look at her body and realizing that it was much furrier than she remembered Wait, I'm a mouse! His power was a shapeshift! She explored her mind further, finding that she could cloak herself in stealth very similar to the one she used as a rogue. After popping herself in and out of the form enough times to be comfortable, she began to explore the area and found one of the mouseholes that Niall had mentioned.
Knowing there was no way out of this but to move forward, she dropped back into mouse form and moved through the passage. After taking down another couple of demons each past their respective mouseholes, Elissa emerged from another violet portal and back into the Raw Fade.
"Something happened, didn't it?" Niall said, excitement beaming through his eyes as she approached him. "I can sense something different within you. Tell me, please!"
"You were right. I found your mouse, and he taught me this." Elissa answered, dropping down into her new shape and popping back up before him.
"Did you… did it help?" he asked, unable to contain his questions – his hope renewed with her unexpected success. "I know I told you of the tiny holes. Were you small enough to get through?"
"I was indeed, and I-I… well, I don't know exactly how to explain it… I felt something shift within the Fade," she continued, moving over to the pedestal and verifying what she had sensed to be true. "There are new pathways open to us, we've unlocked the next islands."
"You are so much braver than I am. I was so certain it was impossible to get anywhere…" Niall said, excited by her success and shamed by his failure. "I was so willing to give in and to waste away here in my indifference."
"You are brave, Niall. I would never have even known what to look for had you not shared your knowledge with me." Elissa said, rubbing his back reassuringly. "This victory is ours together, not mine alone."
"Do you think you could learn other shapes?" he asked, nodding to her – excitement springing anew under her encouraging fingers. "Maybe they will help us get to places we couldn't otherwise."
"The mouse did say that there were other dreamers… dreamers I should wake so that they could share what they knew and add their powers to his own," she explained, her eyes unfocused as they inspected the map from the pedestal once again. "There appear to be four separate islands I can now access; one labeled darkspawn invasion, one mages asunder, one the burning tower, and the last is called Templar's nightmare." She refocused her gaze on him, seeking explanation. "I've no idea where to go first. Do you have any suggestions?"
"No…" Niall responded, shaking his head sadly. "You've gotten further than I ever have. I've no idea what comes next."
"I have to assume there is no order, and given that assumption I must choose the thing I am the most familiar with." Elissa smiled, giving herself over to the pedestal once more. "Wish me luck," she whispered, already fading away from the mage and into the island she had chosen.
As a Warden, Elissa felt most comfortable with the idea of darkspawn – and thus had chosen to visit the island labeled as "The Darkspawn Invasion" first. When she rematerialized she found herself in the Fade's version of a castle like structure. Using her skills as a fighter to cut down several waves of darkspawn, and her newly gained mouse-shifting ability to navigate around the maze of flame walls and intangible doors that Niall had warned her of – she soon found herself in the presence of the island's dreamer.
He did not speak to or acknowledge her presence until she destroyed the ghostly darkspawn entities that had held the Templar Spirit hostage for so long.
"They're gone. You… you did it! You killed them and freed me," the spirit said, smiling at her wearily. "Their leaders are behind the unbreakable door. I give you my wisdom, it will let you see…"
The spirit touched her face as he faded away and again Elissa felt herself shake as a pulse of energy traveled into her. She searched her mind for an access point to the knowledge he had shared with her and felt herself shifting into another form.
She held out her arm and inspected it, finding that this form was something akin to what Alistair had told her were called Arcane Horror's. It seemed likely this was the form they held before being tainted by the touch of demon kind. In this form she could see things that hadn't been there before, and could interact with objects that had previously been intangible.
Well, this takes care of the untouchable doors, she thought, shifting back to herself and moving to the Fade pedestal to travel to her next destination.
"Same setting, different cast." Elissa mumbled, looking around to find herself in a castle like structure that looked identical to the one she had just left.
It was so similar she had gone back and accessed the map once again, just to make sure she was indeed in The Burning Tower as she had intended to be – and verifying that to be true – she moved forward with her task.
Now she had two forms with which to circumvent the tricks and traps as she battled through waves of demons and other monsters to locate this island's dreamer. When she found it, she expected another battle against things that held him trapped – but what had trapped this one was his own anger.
She was forced to battle the Templar Dreamer into submission before he was free and willing to impart what he had learned to her.
"The anger… fading… I am free…" the dreamer said, falling to his knees as the living flame of his anger extinguished from his skin. "You must destroy the door… other dreamers have other powers… you will need all… it is the only way," he encouraged, holding to Elissa's hand as he started to shimmer and fade. "Take this power and burn them, burn them all… they bar the way to Sloth… go…"
His energy pulsed up her arm, settling in her chest like living fury, and she shifted without thinking – finding herself in the body of a walking flaming man. In this form she could pass through the walls of flame immune to the damage they would have caused her regular body.
Two more to choose from, she thought, shifting back to normal and moving once again to the Fade Pedestal.
She had wasted precious time in the choosing, and she knew it. Neither the idea of a mage torn asunder nor a Templar's nightmare appealed to Elissa – but forced to choose, she had gone with the mages – something in her unwilling to pit herself against a castlescape full of Templar's just yet.
This trial proved the hardest thus far, waves of insane mages would have broken her several times had she not shifted into her Burning Man body and made herself immune to the hurricanes of flame they kept throwing in her direction. It was the first time that she sincerely wished she had Alistair with her, his ability to smite even one of them would have made her fight through the island infinitely more manageable.
She expected to find another Templar locked away in torment, as all the previous dreamers had been such, but this time she found a mage desperately fighting off more crazed mages and a couple of lumbering stone creatures she knew from her studies to be golems.
He cried out to her in fear, the shimmering barrier of the thin shield he had erected around himself starting to give way under the heavy fists of the golems. With his help, the two casters were easily dispatched, but Elissa had no idea how to go about dismantling animated stone. She danced around, dodging and listening to the clank of her blades as they bounced harmlessly off their stone skin.
"I don't know how to kill these things." Elissa yelled, becoming concerned that she'd come as far as she could within the puzzles of the Fade.
"There are small gaps in the stone armor near joints, the neck and eyes," the mage replied, freezing one in some sort of damaging field and tossing an electric shock into the system of the other – which Elissa noted it did not like. "If you can get close enough to wedge your blade into those weak spots, then you can eventually short circuit the system effectively killing it."
She nodded, taking advantage of the golem's temporary loss of focus after the jolt of electricity and throwing herself onto its back. The creature flailed its arms, occasionally catching Elissa in her hips and thighs as she stabbed away at the exposed inner workings in his neckline. She wasn't sure if your physical body carried the injuries your spirit form received in the Fade, but if so – she was sure she would emerge black and blue – and either way, it still hurt like a bitch.
By the time she dropped the first golem and made her way to the second, the mage had already taken care of it with his detention fields and electricity spells. It had been easy without the other golem and the mages beating on him.
"Thank you for saving me," the mage panted out, smiling softly. "But it is time for this dream to end. I give to you my strength. It will be of little use against the demon that rules here, but perhaps it will be of use in other realms. It is the last of the powers, which you seek, may it serve you well. Seek out the sloth demon and end this nightmare for us all."
Elissa felt a wave move over her as the mage passed along his power then faded away. She accessed her new ability and found herself lumbering about in a large golem body.
"Handy," she muttered aloud, shifting back to normal and returning to the Fade Pedestal.
She felt somewhat cowardly for doing so, but put the Templar's Nightmare off once more – instead choosing to return to each of the islands she had previously visited and using her full set of abilities to solve their puzzles and destroy their demons.
Elissa wasn't sure how much time had passed when she finally returned to the Raw Fade, but from the relieved look on Niall's face, she assumed she had been gone for a while.
"I was worried you were lost!" the mage breathed, rushing forward and folding her in an embrace.
She was taken aback for a moment, but finally relaxed into it – hugging him back.
"I solved them, Niall – I solved the puzzles!" she said, beaming at him as she pulled away. "I released the dreamers that held the protective barrier in place and collected their talents. You were right about everything!"
"I knew you could do it!" he beamed back at her. "This means the pathway to the sub-demon who protects sloth should now be open. Can you access it?"
"Yes… but other pathways have opened too." Elissa explained, watching his brow furrow in confusion. "They aren't labeled but there are five islands… it's too coincidental, Niall, it's where my friends are being held. I can't leave here without them."
"I must caution against this." Niall warned, shaking his head at her. "You do not know what holds them there and they may not even be willing to come with you – if they have given in to the illusion, you may have to kill them to end their torment. Are you capable of doing that?"
"If I must, yes – though I have faith it will not come to that," she replied, refusing to believe them lost. "My companions are all strong of will, they will not succumb to such lies easily, and if they have – I will not leave them here to suffer as those dreamers did for so long."
"Your loyalty is… touching," the mage said, smiling sadly at her. "I can see that I will not dissuade you, so instead I encourage you to make haste. Every moment you spend here allows sloth to gain more control over your mind."
She nodded and ran to the pedestal, picking the closest island and traveling the pathway.
When she rematerialized she immediately recognized Morrigan's voice floating to her from somewhere within the twisted landscape. From the words she spoke and the tone of her voice, Elissa was relieved to find that the witch was completely aware that she was stuck in an illusion.
If she thought about it, she wasn't really surprised. Morrigan was not easily fooled by anyone or anything – it was one of the many things about the woman that Elissa admired. What did surprise Elissa was the illusion that the Fade demon had chosen to attempt to sway Morrigan with. It was Flemeth, or the demon's interpretation of Flemeth.
In much the same way as Nathaniel had been off, so too was Flemeth's personality, and Morrigan was having none of it.
"Away! Away with you!" Morrigan yelled angrily. "I shall have no more of your pestering!"
"I am your mother… do you not love me?" Flemeth replied, and Elissa almost laughed aloud – Flemeth, the real Flemeth, would never have said such a thing.
"You are as much my mother as my little finger, right here," Morrigan wiggled her finger in the demon-Flemeth's face, "is the Queen of Ferelden. I know you, Fade spirit, you cannot fool me!"
"Are you more clever than your own dear mother? Surely such pride must be punished!" Flemeth yelled, smacking Morrigan hard across the face, sending the witch stumbling back a couple of steps in astonishment. "There! That is for not showing respect!"
"That is far more like it, but it is too little too late, spirit!" Morrigan huffed, her slight smile widening as she caught sight of Elissa. "'Tis you at last! Come and help me to rid us off this vexatious spirit. I have grown weary of being prodded."
"Why does it prod you so?" Elissa wondered aloud, inspecting the Flemeth duplicate carefully. "My demon didn't ask any questions at all…"
"I expect it cannot even read my mind well enough to form a decent copy, and so it hopes that I will provide it with enough clues in conversation for it to repair itself." Morrigan laughed, looking upon the demon in disgust. "Silly thing doesn't seem to understand it can never fool me now."
"She doesn't even acknowledge her own mother!" the Flemeth-demon commiserated to Elissa, as if she could share in its pain. "My heart, it breaks!"
"Ugh… slay it! And quickly!" Morrigan insisted, pulling purple flame into her hands as Elissa freed her blades. "Even the true Flemeth was never as annoying as this!"
The two of them made quick work of the demon who was just as inferior to Morrigan's real mother in power as it had been in conversation. Unlike Elissa who was tormented by being forced to take the life of her illusion, Morrigan showed no sign of being even slightly disturbed by taking the life of the false Flemeth.
"'Tis about time!" Morrigan chastised, still slightly irritated with Elissa though it was quickly dissipating under the wave of relief that both felt in finding one another again. "I knew you would come, I just hadn't expected it to take you so long… did you get lost?"
"Several times." Elissa chuckled, sheathing her swords and smiling. "I'm not like you, Morrigan, this place – I come here only in dreams and there are no puzzles then. It's been a bit overwhelming without you there to guide me."
"I shall have to tutor you in the ways of magic." Morrigan said, crossing her arms and inspecting Elissa with a critical eye – though Elissa could see the warmth beneath it. "I cannot have you wandering about like a ninny… that is most…" she stopped, holding her arms up and catching Elissa's eye as what looked like flames began to overtake her. "Wait… what is this? No! Not this again! I refuse!"
She looked to Elissa; panic in her eyes, but by the time Elissa moved forward – she was already gone. Wherever she had been taken, Elissa was certain remaining where she was would do nothing to get her back, and so she moved back to the pedestal and traveled to the next island.
On the next island she found Sten, the great qunari equally aware of his illusion – though, unlike Morrigan he did not appear to be fighting to leave it.
"Shanedan," he said, smiling his half smile as Elissa approached.
"Who are you talking to?" one of the demons asked, two of them having taken the form of what Elissa expected were Sten's former companions.
"Don't bother the Sten." The other one said, wrinkling his brow. "Isn't it your turn to cook?"
"Cook what? There's no food in this miserable frozen country!" the first qunari grumbled, glowering at Elissa as though it was her fault.
"Parshaara!" Sten growled, silencing the two immediately. "We have a guest. Make room at the fire."
"Why do they call you 'the Sten'?" Elissa asked, taking a seat on the ground next to him.
"The same reason they call you 'the Warden'." Sten answered, smiling cryptically at her.
"So Sten is your title, not your name?" Elissa continued, raising an eyebrow at him.
"It is my title and my name, it is what and who I am." Sten explained, his violet eyes steadily locked to Elissa's green ones. "Much as you are no longer a spoiled child of nobility. You are now the Warden."
"I am a Warden." Elissa corrected.
"You are the only Warden that matters." Sten insisted, shaking his head. "I do not understand why you refuse to acknowledge what you are though we have all told you as much. The Chantry woman may be a harpy, but she is right – you are special, kadan. There is only one who matters in all of this – and it is you."
Elissa was overwhelmed by his words. To hear such things from the others was one thing, but to be on the receiving end of such reverence from a qunari was another entirely. She wasn't sure how to react.
"We've been days in this place and there is no sign of any threat," one of the soldiers piped up, interrupting their conversation. "The Arishok's report was wrong. Can we not go home?"
"No." Sten replied, not even looking at them – knowing that they would sigh and huff about no matter what he said to them – he was reliving a memory just as she had.
"We need to go." Elissa said, her words setting the qunari to motion – she took his hands allowing him to pull her up with him. "We have a demon waiting for us."
"Let it wait." Sten answered, turning toward the soldiers. "This is a dream, I am not a fool. I remember seeing the Karashok there have his head torn off." Elissa grimaced, suddenly understanding that in this moment Sten was able to see his friends again – friends who were now dead and gone. "It is a dream… but a good one."
"This is a cage, Sten." Elissa said, laying a gentle hand on the thick trunk of his forearm – her skin even more pale against the grey of his own. "Just like Lothering."
"Here, Lothering, Orlais…" the qunari answered, a low but humorless chuckle rumbling in his chest. "It's all the same, far from home. No place is better than any other."
"Was it not you who told me that the Soldiers of the Beresaad did not waste time dreaming?" Elissa said, changing tactics as she remembered a conversation they had one morning when Sten had been forced to wake her from her late sleeping.
"They don't." Sten replied, and Elissa could see a slight smile on his face that she had remembered what they spoke of. "But I am no longer one of the Beresaad. I am no one."
"That is not true!" Elissa insisted, tugging at him to force his eyes to her own. "You are a warrior and you are my friend! I cannot do this without you, and if you stay here then all of this – your friend's deaths, our struggles… everything will have been for nothing."
"For once, I completely agree with you, Warden." Sten chuckled, nodding his head in a slight bow. "I owe them a victory, I owe you a victory."
"What's this? You're leaving us?" one of the soldiers said, the two suddenly very attentive. "You can't abandon your post."
"Stand aside." Sten warned, pulling loose his broadsword, noting that Elissa released her blades as well. "I would hate to see you die again."
"No!" the other soldier yelled, the two pulling loose their own weapons and rushing forward. "We won't let you leave us!"
Elissa and Sten cut down the demons easily, and though his face seemed serene – Elissa knew that giving death to his friends again had hurt Sten just as much as killing Nathaniel had hurt her.
"This gives me no peace." Sten said, hanging his head – Elissa moved toward him before the flames that she had seen envelop Morrigan started to take over his body as well. "No! More trickery? What is happening?"
He held his arms out to Elissa, but she did not try to reach for him. She knew he would disappear regardless, and so she sheathed her blades and returned to the pedestal to travel to the next island.
Wynne and Leliana both proved difficult to extract from their illusions.
Wynne was convinced that Elissa had abandoned her and the remaining mages to their fate, and yelled at her in accusation from where she had stood among a field of corpses. It had taken every trick of persuasion that Elissa could muster to even get the elder mage to consider that what she saw around her was an illusion – and was only when one of the "corpses" chose to rise and speak that the woman was truly willing to accept that what she said had been true all along.
Leliana had returned to her life in the Lothering Chantry, praying on bended knee at the feet of a demon cloaked in the guise of the Revered Mother. The irony was not lost on Elissa, who had given into her disgust with organized religion and hurled insults at the demon and the bard before realizing her sharp tongue was getting her nowhere.
After a great deal of time undoing the damage of her words, Elissa finally managed to convince Leliana that she was there to help and that the "mother" was in fact – a demon. By the end of the fight with the demon, the bard looked broken and completely distraught – and Elissa felt her ire softening. As she vanished Elissa knew she had learned much during her trip to the Fade that made her respect each of her companions all the more.
She had known the last island would hold Alistair's nightmare even before she traveled to it, and found herself unsettled by the idea of encountering him. Her dream of Nathaniel had left her shaken, it had stirred emotions within her she'd thought buried, and she felt overwhelming guilt at the thought of seeing her fellow Warden again after cavorting with another "man".
She also felt apprehensive about finding Alistair in a similar situation… the idea of him being trapped by another woman, or by some horrible facsimile of herself, was unappealing to say the least.
As she came down the hill, her fears became reality, for indeed Alistair stood there with another woman – looking completely at peace. She was beautiful, Elissa realized as she approached, though there was something oddly familiar about her features.
"Hey! You've finally come!" Alistair said, his face lighting even more when he saw her – and she tried not to cringe as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek affectionately. "I was just thinking about you… isn't that a marvelous coincidence," he continued, beckoning to the other woman. "This is my sister, Goldanna. Her children are here somewhere, and now that you've come – we're one happy family at last!"
"We have to get away from them, Alistair." Elissa insisted, keeping her voice a gentle whisper as she tugged at his hands – she remembered him speaking of his lost sibling before and them making a plan to seek her out whenever they reached Denerim. "This is a trick."
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his smile already beginning to fade away – breaking Elissa's heart.
"Alistair, is your lovely fiancé staying for dinner?" Goldanna said, beaming at them.
"F-fiance?" Elissa stuttered, her eyes wide that Alistair was already thinking such things about her.
"Say you'll stay, my love! Goldanna's a great cook!" Alistair said, the smile returning as he gripped Elissa's hands and pulled her into his arms. "Maybe she'll make her mince pie? You can, can't you?"
"Of course, dear brother." Goldanna chuckled, turning back to her cooking. "Anything for you and your beautiful bride to be."
"We can't stay here Alistair." Elissa tried again, pulling out of his embrace – overwhelmed now by the feelings of guilt over what had happened with the Nathaniel demon.
"You're acting really strange…" Alistair said, reaching up to check for fever – his hands gentle and warm on her skin. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Think about this, think about how you got here." Elissa insisted, pulling away and taking his hands in her own. "Think carefully."
"All right, love – if it makes you happy," he said with a smile, kissing her hand. "I… it's a little fuzzy… well that's odd…"
"Alistair, come have some tea." Goldanna said, and Elissa could see her guise slipping – the kindness in her face being replaced by anger as she glared at the other woman.
"No… wait… I remember a… tower." Alistair said, rubbing at his brow as he struggled to push through the fog of illusion. "The Circle… it was under attack… there were demons. That's all I really remember."
"The sloth demon… do you remember that?" Elissa encouraged, holding his amber eyes steadily.
"Are you saying this is a-a d-dream?" Alistair asked, his eyes impossibly wide. "But it's so real…"
"Of course it's real!" Goldanna insisted angrily, tugging at his arm and trying to drag him back into the illusion. "Now wash up before supper and I…"
"Something doesn't feel quite right here…" Alistair said, looking at the illusion of his sister. "I… I-I think I have to go…"
"Come with me then." Elissa said, reaching out her hand and pulling him forcibly behind her as she tugged loose her blades.
"No! He is ours!" Goldanna screeched, her face twisting in anger. "I'd rather see him dead than free!"
"I'll not let you have him, demon bitch." Elissa yelled, throwing herself at the woman and cutting her apart easily.
When she turned back to Alistair, he looked equal parts heartbroken and embarrassed.
"I can't believe it… how did I not see this earlier?" he said, his words broken and heavy with sadness.
"The demons do something to our minds." Elissa whispered gently, moving forward and touching his face in comfort. "They tap into our memories and manipulate them to keep us here."
"Please don't tell anyone how easily I was fooled… a-and about the whole fiancé thing…" he started, his face coloring heavily.
"Don't worry about it, Alistair," she smiled.
"Are we going now?" he asked, and Elissa backed away as the flames took over his body. "Wait, where are you going? What's happening to me, Elissa? Hey!"
And then he too was gone.
"Did you do it? Did you save them?" Niall asked when she returned to the Raw Fade.
"I think so, I killed the demons that held them but then they disappeared…" Elissa answered. "I've no idea where they've gone. I can only hope that killing the demons has sent them back to the real world somehow."
"Something is changing here, I can feel it. The barriers between us and sloth have grown thin. The pieces are falling into place," he explained, watching as Elissa searched the area for the door that would lead her to the final demon standing between her and sloth.
"I can see the door, I need to go." Elissa said, squeezing his hands and jogging away – shifting into spirit form and gliding through the barrier door that led to the final obstacle.
The demoness was arrogant, but hardly a match for Elissa's many forms, and as she fell Elissa could feel the balance of power shifting.
She was ready to face sloth, and knew she would not fail.
"What do we have here? A rebellious minion… an escaped slave?" sloth laughed, his languid words unable to lull her senses as they had before. "My, my but you do have some gall… now playtime is over, you and your friends have to go back to your pretty cages."
Elissa looked at him in confusion, before she noticed her companions beginning to take shape all around her. She smiled at them, knowing that now the demon stood no chance against them.
"If you go back quietly, I'll do better this time," sloth said, his dark fingers hovering just over her skin. "I've gotten a much more detailed read of your memories now… I can construct a more… accurate version for you… I can make you much happier."
"I am perfectly capable of making my own happiness, thank you." Elissa sneered, trying to deny the desire to see Nathaniel again that was surging up inside her – trying to ignore the guilt burning away at her soul when she caught Alistair's amber eyes watching her with a mix of affection and concern.
"Can you?" sloth laughed, tsking at her. "It seems to me you haven't done a very good job of that thus far. I have never encountered a soul so willingly mired in misery. It is a beautiful thing, such suffering."
"You do not know me, demon." Elissa hissed, glaring at it angrily – infuriated by its words but knowing them to be true.
"Then think about someone other than yourself, think about your friends… perhaps they would be happier here," the demon said, turning its attention briefly to her companions – all of whom muttered their own denials. "I'm hurt… so very, very hurt."
"That's your problem." Elissa retorted, unsheathing her blades. "I'll do nothing you say."
"You wish to battle me?" the demon laughed, the sound echoing off the flickering landscape of the Fade. "Very well then… you will learn to bow to your betters, mortal!"
The battle waged for some time, sloth shifting through one form after another. By the end Wynne's mana pool had grown shallow and Elissa had been forced to shift into her golem form simply to stay alive.
Finally, Sten managed to strike a critical blow, dropping the sloth demon once and for all. Elissa could feel the tenuous threads that held them there loosening their hold, and one by one her friends flashed out of existence – returning to their bodies back in reality.
There was only one thing left for Elissa to do.
"You did it!" Niall yelled, sweeping her off her feet with his joy and twirling her around in his arms. "I never thought… I never expected that anyone would come who could defeat the demon – but you've done the impossible. You've killed it and freed yourself, freed us both!"
"I told you I would do it!" Elissa laughed, wrapping her arms around the waist of the mage who had been her anchor through this long and treacherous journey.
"When you return, you must take the Litany of Adralla from my… my… body." Niall said, the warmth of his breath fluttering her hair where he'd laid his face against her head. "It will protect you from the worst of Uldred's blood magic. It is the only protection I can offer you."
"Your body?" Elissa spat, pulling away from him just enough to look up into his face.
"I cannot go with you, Elissa. I've been here far too long." He explained, reaching forward to brush a curl of hair out of her face. "For you, this will have been an afternoon nap. Your body won't have wasted away in the real world while your spirit lay in the hands of a demon."
"You think you're going to die?" she said, her voice quiet in sadness as she reached up to hold his face in her hands.
"Every minute I was here, the sloth demon was feeding off me, using my life force to power the nightmares of this realm." Niall said, releasing her jaw and allowing his hands to fall back to her waist – enjoying the embrace for just a little while longer as such contact was not allowed within the tower. "There is little of me left… I was never meant to save the Circle… or to survive its troubles. My task was to be here long enough to find you, and to act as your guide – to keep you safe while you suffered these trials." He smiled softly at her. "I am dying, Elissa. It's as simple as that."
"You're not going to die!" Elissa insisted, pulling his face down to hers until their foreheads were touching – she owed this man so much, she would not let him down. "Wynne is a powerful healer, she will revive you when I return."
"Tenacious to the very end," he chuckled, squeezing at her waist. "But it is too late for me. I do not fear what is to come. They say we return to the Maker in death, and that isn't such a terrible thing." Elissa could feel the tears starting to run down her cheeks, and could do nothing to stop them. "My only regret is that I could not save the Circle, but you… you can," he insisted, wiping at her tears with soft fingers. "Take the Litany off my body when you return, it is important!"
"What about you?" she sobbed, not even trying to retain her composure – losing him was just too much on top of an already horrific experience.
"I can rest easily knowing you are there to save us." Niall encouraged, rubbing at her back in comfort and holding her close. "I'm not… a hero. Perhaps trying to be one was foolish."
"You are a hero, Niall, just as much as I am." Elissa insisted, pulling back from him and holding his eyes. "You have done great things, you have made this possible. I could never have done this alone."
"Dark times make heroes of us all, eh? You may be right…" he laughed, smiling at her. "Before I was taken to the Circle, my mother said I was meant for greatness… that I would be more than my ancestors ever dreamed. It is nice to know that I didn't disappoint her."
"You didn't," she said, forcing a smile through her tears.
"It is time for both of us to be on our way now, I can feel the bonds that hold me here weakening." Niall explained, stroking at her cheek with his long delicate fingers as though he could memorize the curves of it. "Remember, the Litany of Adralla… the Circle is all that matters now," he said, his words starting to sound hollow as his fingers hesitated on her skin. "Thank you and goodbye, my friend," he finished, leaning forward and claiming her lips in a simple chaste kiss before he faded completely away.