Hello my lovelies! So proud of myself :D I'm giving you another chapter already ;) So here's the famous "fearless" chapter you've all been waiting for muahahaha (evil laugh) and I really hope you all will enjoy that :D It's not 'technically' complete but I think I covered what was essential. Although, I would like your opinion on that so foot note question, as usual ;) So yes, please review my pwetty ones :( Got 8 reviews for last chapter and if I could get 10 for this one, you would make me utterly happy :D

Also! Seemed like I did another faux-pas(OMG!)... The attack at Luke's house had never been reported to the Institute or the Clave as said in the fearless chapter... so therefore, I changed last chapter a bit to fix that, as I mentioned Alec going to the Institute before.

Another update, on chapter 17FF (but 14 in my counting), Alec is thinking about Magnus's age but as mentioned by Tigersong19, at that time Alec thought Magnus was 300 years old so I changed that! Also, just finished all of Bane's Chronicles, well the ones that are out, (there's a small blink to those here :D) and will update by Friday, Blood-Red Moon to include what Magnus and Raphael relation had really been ;)

So keep posted my lovelies, I do hope to have another chapter by Friday night also! But I'll need you to let me know what you want so don't forget the foot note question ;) But again, don't feel obliged!

Disclaimer : Don't own TMI or Bane Chronicles, Cassie does. In this chapter, there's some dialogues from CoA. As I explained my position before, I won't change those as the point of this fanfic is to 'fill the holes' in Malec story, not create a whole new story! Thanks you all for your understanding :)

Chapter 18 : To Fear or Not To Fear?

Magnus awoke with a strange feeling of dread. It wasn't until he reached full consciousness that he knew what was wrong. Jace was gone. He could just feel it. And then something else caught with him... Alec's pained eyes and sorrowful expression. His heart clenched and he had to breathe deeply, trying to erase his worries. He was good at it, centuries of practice. Although, at this moment, it didn't seem to work quite well. He felt also slightly ashamed being more concerned about his lover's fate than Jace's disappearance. If the blond shadowhunter had gone and done something stupid (as he most probably did), it could mean hell for his status with the Clave. But he couldn't care less. Not really.

He closed his eyes and carefully gathered his composure. It was not the time and place to brood over his chaotic relationship. He stood up quickly, in dire need of a warm shower and ended up waiting by the bathroom, cursing silently all women. He was already starting his mind whirl when Clary got out, giving him a chance to refresh. In the most odd way, he chatted with the fiery haired girl, winking and smiling as if everything was alright. Sometimes his way of showing a complete smooth and serene exterior to the world while anguishing inside felt truly wrong and alienating.

Magnus took the few moments of peace to allow some self-pity and sadness. He wondered how he could have become so commited to a relationship that was doomed, an almost dead-end. He was even more astounded at the fact that Alec had made him truly happy within these last days, easing his worries and reluctance as if they'd never been there. Everything between them had flowed so easily, as if they had waited for each other, for the moment when they would meet. The warlock sighed despairingly... The worst of all was that he still hoped. He wanted Alec more than anything he had ever wanted and it was eating him alive.

Soon enough, it was time to go back to reality and he swallowed yet again everything that was scorching his insides, putting on his parade mask. He went back to the living room, barely presentable with a towel wrapped around his hair and blue (yes blue, you know why) tracksuit, but that were his only remnants of distress, forbidding him of caring more than necessary about his appearance. Not that he cared about anybody's opinion in this house anyway.

He slided himself in the conversation between Luke and Clary, after all they were talking about him, and let his mind sulk while some part of his brain kept on the charade, fussing over the past night and the gory events. The werewolf girl joined them, Maia it seemed, and then few moments later, she broke down crying, slightly unbalancing him from his careful countenance. Really? He was the one who should be crying right now...

But then, it all went away. Jace was back but he barely saw him. His attention was all for his blue-eyed angel, Alec... wait! WHAT! ALEC! Damnit! He ripped the towel off his hair and threw it hastily behind the couch, unbelievably ashamed at how disarrayed he looked in front of his lover. He almost blushed from his embarrasment. Obviously, Alec had seen him stark naked and in compromising situations but right at this moment, he felt as if it was their first date all over again. Nervous, agitated, needy and in distress. He wanted to be perfect for Alec, anything so the gorgeous shadowhunter could finally look at him. See him there, waiting for him, only wishing to be his...

The warlock sighed softly and his eyes devoured Alec's one hungrily, his pupils dilatating slightly as they roamed over the toned body, the blue hesitant orbs of his lover that seemed to shine with a bit of hope and fear. He had missed him so much... He wished he could take his words back, comfort him and hold him again but he knew his lover needed time to figure out what he wanted... and if what he wanted was Magnus.

Of course, Jace being the pain in the ass he is, broke their lovely sharing bubble by speaking his name in his awfully obnoxious voice.

- "Magnus wants to shout at me, don't you, Magnus?"

Alec's pov

Alec listened half-heartedly to the conversation unraveling, Magnus inquiring of Jace's wereabouts but Alec didn't care, he already knew, and Jace had promised his lover wouldn't risk anything. That's all he needed to know. No, now he was glancing toward the beautiful warlock gratefully, without the cat's green-gold depths to catch him. He caressed with his eyes the delicate shape of Magnus's face, his elegant features thrown off by the peculiar eyes, the black shiny hair and the extensive lenght of stunning caramel skin, the life that filled him so wholly... Alec had always believed that warlocks were dry and dead as a desert, immortality sucking them out of any humanity they ever had but Magnus... Magnus was more than human, he was a comet burning the sky, a shooting star lighting the poor insignificant horizons of the mere humans allowed to gravitate around him. Alec's heart swooned and raced with the proximity of his own personal sun. He loved him so much, it was painful.

He caught back with the conversation when Jace mentioned that Magnus hadn't made him swear on the Angel, thus the reason why he hadn't respected his promise. It was so Jace, refusing responsability to throw it on other's imperfections. Although, he was right, as annoying as it was.

- " It's true." Alec said bluntly, as was his habit.

Maybe his interjection hadn't been very wise since his lover looked at him, eyes angry and hurt, as if Alec had purposely sided with his parabatai, against better judgement (well Magnus's judgement) even though the young shadowhunter had simply stated a fact. He shuffled his weight on his other leg, a bit uncomfortable under his boyfriend's eyes.

- "Where were you all night, anyway?" Magnus asked, his voice so sour it made Alec winced. "With Alec?" He said finally, tone ringing and flat.

If Alec had been embarrassed before, he now felt utterly ashamed. Would he ever be able to let Magnus see he didn't care about Jace as he used to? He didn't know if his lover was jealous but somehow, he felt a bit flattered at the idea. The pleasant moment ended when Jace outed him again about his pitiful behavior of this morning. Really, could his parabatai stop being so straight forward with every one of Alec's emotional displays? It was becoming mortifying. Although he was slightly rewarded with his boyfriend's lit expression, a sun through the clouds.

- "Were you there all night?" He asked eagerly.

He barely contained a shy smile but answered offhandedly nonetheless. There was no need to lay out their previous evening for all to see. It had nothing to do with him being scared of acknowledging Magnus as his boyfriend. Nothing at all.

- "No." He said vaguely. "I went home and then came back. I'm wearing different clothes, aren't I? Look." Alec contained the need to face-palm himself, god he was an awful liar. It was obvious they were the same clothes! And he hadn't even gone to the Institute at all.

An awkward silence filled the room, as if no one really wished to call his bluff but knowing he had just lied blatantly. Clary came to his rescue again, he was starting to really like her and thanking the Angel she knew about his secret, by asking about the doughnuts.

Quickly enough, disaster was avoided and as they all munched happily, the conversation kept rolling on the night before, Magnus and him sharing brief longing glances while participating to the dissection of the events. Jace mentioned the demon's odd behavior but without talking about Clary's strange rune, as he did with Alec the night before.

Although it came down to it as Clary herself spoke of it and then, the conversation became even more stranger as she talked about new runes? He shared his boyfriend's reluctance on the matter and then, he plain down worried when she talked about Jace and her being experiments. Although, curiosity and doubt caught him when she mentioned creating runes. But then, Alec being the rational and logic person he was, he just had to admit that it could be a possibility, that her talent may just be as she said. Luke suggested a tryout and off she went to retrieve her drawing material.

The room falled into a silent buzz of smooth chatter, both he and Magnus kept silent, staring, wondering. Alec's butterflies had come back in force, dizzying him slightly. He just wished he could be alone with his boyfriend right now, to speak about themselves, to speak about his new resolution, about the importance Magnus had for him. He was almost about to stand up and go kiss his boyfriend (what the hell?) when Clary came back, holding her sketching pad.

They all waited for her to draw, although Alec was kinda zoning out, until they discussed an idea for a new rune, as it seemed necessary. Count on Jace to come up with the crazy idea of a Fearless rune. And then, it was there... clear on the stark white paper, a rune that spoke of something utterly unnatural, gleaming with the power it held. It was fascinating...

And, of course, Alec ended being the guinea pig. Why did he suggest himself again? Ah yeah... he wanted to be fearless for his lover. Love make you do crazy things.

- "So?" Clary said.

- "So what?" He answered dully.

- "So how do you feel? Any different?" She answered.

He considered this for a moment, wondering if all his worries had gone away but... not really. It was just odd.

- "Not really." He answered honestly.

- "So it doesn't work." His parabatai said, gesturing dramatically, throwing his hands in the air. He felt like snorting, god he was such a drama queen!

- "Not necessarily," Luke said. "There might simply be nothing going on that might activate it. Perhaps there isn't anything here that Alec is afraid of."

- "Boo." Magnus said, glancing at him with his damned raised eyebrows. His heart gave a slight flutter of desire but strangely, no embarrasment or shame came flooding him.

Alec's eyebrows furrowed for a moment but he got caught up in the conversation again as they all questionned him about his phobias and how they could activate the new rune. He really started to feel like a curious animal or an experiment gone bad. It was down right annoying. It's not like it was his fault the rune didn't seem to work!

Thank the Angel, they were soon interrupted by the buzzer of the doorbell. Luke quickly went to the door and threw it open.

When his mother, sister and father walked into the small house of Luke, he felt a strange calm invade him. He barely noticed the Inquisitor in tow and his mind seemed to fleet very far away from any matters other than the fact that he loved Magnus, that his lover was there looking at him inquiringly, so beautiful and enticing. Why would he be afraid of anything? His lover and happiness was all that mattered. His mind wandered to the night's last and the resolution he had came along. Why should he wait? Life was so wonderful and short, everything was so simple when you thought about it. There was no fear... Magnus was the love of his life and he deserved everything Alec could give him. His previous concerns and anguish had vanished altogether. What he had fought within his heart, the whirlwind of feelings that had struggled him were all evened out. Even though his decision had been settled, now courage was there to embrace him. Not even courage... as he didn't have to fight anything. Everything was obvious and clear. Magnus Bane was his future and his family ought to know it. There was no questions anymore.

His mother spoke to him, trying to remind him that he had vanished from the Institute for far too long but he didn't care. He didn't mind Maryse's wrath. What he had to say was more important...

- « Mother.» Alec said evenly. «Father. There's something I have to tell you.» A gleeful smile spread on the young shadowhunter's face. A grin that spoke of his heart's serenity. « I'm seeing someone. » He finished calmly.

Magnus's pov

Magnus was caught between horror and glee. His emotions and thoughts were a wreck. He watched the conversation unravel with pure astonishment. What should he do?

His heart screamed to let it go, that it's all he wanted, to be acknowledged, recognized and welcomed in Alec's life. What was he worrying about !? But then his mind started jumping about, passing in a frenzy over all of Alec's panicked and pained expressions every time someone mentioned their relationship or only him being gay. He remembered the blanched face and blank eyes of his lover when Jace had caught them kissing. He thought of the Clave's rigid law and what this confession could bring down on Alec. The disownment, the bannishment, his marks being stripped... Some faints screams echoed in his mind, reminded of Edmund Herondale, his defeated and desperate face when he had chosen love over duty. But then, that was it. Edmund had had a choice.

This, what was happening now, wasn't Alec's choice, it was the effect of a sickeningly powerful rune. His lover had no will-power, no decision in the matter. An utter sadness filled Magnus. Some leftover pride forbid him to take advantage of Alec's nonsensical attitude. If ever his boyfriend wished to come out to his parents, to speak about their couple, it would be in all consciousness, not forced nor without fear. He trusted his lover to find the courage one day... Well, to be honest, he mostly hoped.

This whole mind-process swallowed Magnus in a quarter of a second but it had been enough for him to take a decision. With his heart sinking, he moved his fingers quickly, rejecting altogether his almost-gained freedom.

Alec fell to the ground as a rag doll and Magnus had a hard time containing the tears gathering in his glazed cat's eyes...

One day, he thought sadly, one day it will be true...

Hope you liked that! :) Now questions!

1- The Fearless chapter is cut here and afterward, you see Alec wake up, deny again being with anyone, we see everyone reaction and then hell broke loose as we know where Jace was last night and Alec supposedly "betray" him siding with the Inquisitor... Now do you wish me to do that part of the chapter or do we skip it, moving on further?

2- I'm starting to build a 'file' for all the chapters I wished to add in the extras. Does your guys have anything specific in my story that you wish to see in another pov or maybe some part of the book that you wish to be explored further or that you would like to know of if I didn't mentioned them?

3- This is more of a statement really but some of you saw that Kissed has a sequel and I already built 2 chapters for this, I will add another one, called 'Mourning' in Magnus pov, but that will be it, I will put it on 'hold' afterward until Kissed is done. Although, I would like you guys, all of you who follow Kissed and love it, if you could just go check it out and drop me a review to let me know if it flows well with Kissed or if there's some stuffs that you don't like. I have time to fix it so that will be welcomed :)

Thanks again to everyone and see you soon :D Love ya!