Chapter 20

Potter's Place

The start of term started with a new memory: my hand. There was a scar that traveled the length of my right palm and it was caused by my father, however, indirectly. I wasn't the subject of my father's anger for once; it was my mother he was mad at. I tried to intervene, only my mother pushed me aside, and my hand went through a class curio. There was a scar simply because my hand wasn't tended to properly.

The start of term also brought a new attack. It was a double attack this time however, and according to the reports of the girls the attackers had increased in number. I suspect it was to compensate for girls not being alone.

Remus stayed in hospital the whole first week of classes. Apparently, not only had Snape seen the wolf but the wolf had seen Snape and caught his scent. Since James and Sirius were busy dealing with Snape, and Peter's rat did little to assuage the wolf's anger, the wolf turned on Remus.

Remus now had three long scars stretching across his face from where the wolf had clawed him. They would forever serve as a reminder of that night. The story we were telling everyone was that the guys had been goofing around near the Whomping Willow and Remus had gotten too close. Because of Sirius! I made sure everyone knew it was Sirius' fault.

Speaking of Sirius, I continued to avoid him. It's lucky I had made new friends; it was much easier to avoid Sirius when I didn't have to sit near him at meals.

I visited Remus everyday once term started back…to take him notes from lessons of course. Sometimes my visits were cut short. I left whenever Sirius came around with the guys.

14 January 1977

"You'll have to forgive him sooner or later," Remus said one day towards the end of his stay.

"I know. I just want to make sure he's punished enough."

"He has been, trust me. A week without you is punishment enough. A two week break is torture."

"Torture? Really?" I looked around us. There was no one else in the hospital that day and Madam Pomfrey was in her office in the back. "Was it torture not to do this?"

I stood and gave him a quick kiss. That's all it was meant to be at least, but as I pulled back his hand caught the back of my head and he pulled me back down for a longer kiss; my stomach twisted in knots. It was the first time we'd been able to kiss like that since the start of holiday.

20 January 1977

I finally forgave Sirius about a week later. I was at breakfast with Lily, Ruth, and Janice at the Ravenclaw table when mail arrived. Sirius had sent me a card that very loudly, and very publicly, proclaimed that he was an idiot and begged for my forgiveness. I figured after such a public proclamation and self-humiliation, he deserved a break.

The new term flew by quickly. According to the Professors, exams were just around the corner so they piled on the homework. Between that, the Ruins project, meeting with the girls, and the new apparition lessons we all signed up for, there wasn't much free time.

Before either of us knew it, February and Valentine's Day were upon us. Remus and I, however, couldn't go to Hogsmeade that weekend. Only couples went to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day, and since Remus and I were only friends in the eyes of James we had no reason to go. With the aid of Lily and Janice, however, we were able to set up a clandestine dinner, much like our first one. It was perfect.

February was over in a flash and March and the Easter holiday followed quickly on its heels. Fleamont had long since recovered from his cold, so James, Sirius and I had all decided to go home for a visit. Remus and Peter were going home too. Holiday began just after Remus' birthday.

10 March 1977

"You'll write to me, yes? Please say yes." I wrapped my arms around his neck as his made their way around my waist.

"Yes," he said with a laugh. "It will only be three weeks."

"If two weeks was torture, what will three be?"

"Misery. Absolute and unbearable misery. We'll have to get together sooner then." He pushed some hair behind my ear. "I am going to miss you."

I gave him a light kiss before shoving a blank piece of parchment into his chest. "Here, happy birthday. It took me a little while to work the charm just right. Don't read it until you get home though."

"Why not?"

"Because I won't be able to stop doing this," I kissed him again, "once you do."

"It will be a little hard to hide that from James in the compartment"

"So, like I said…" I wrapped my arms a little tighter around his neck as his did the same to my waist. "Wait."

We kissed again, and for a bit longer, before leaving the secret passage in different directions.

Easter holiday was harder than Christmas holiday. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the Potter's place. It had a nice homey feel. I had my own room with a clear view of the stars, and James and Sirius were very entertaining. But I missed Remus dearly.

At least at Christmas I could see Remus every day and hear him talk, even if it wasn't to me. But now I only had his letters to sustain me. We traded letters every day, though I claimed they were from Lily, or Ruth, or Janice, or one of the other girls. I didn't think we would write every day, and I didn't want to push it, but he kept responding as quickly as I did.

At night I would read over every letter again and keep them close as I slept. I was beginning to realize that Remus wasn't just a boy I fancied and liked snogging. There was something much deeper between us. I didn't say any of this in my letters though. It seemed like something that needed to be said in person.

20 March 1977

One evening, a little over a week into our holiday, we were all sitting in the parlor after dinner. The old record player was playing what the Muggles called rock-n-roll; Euphemia liked to listen to it while she knit. She had once tried to teach me how to knit back in the summer between fourth and fifth year, but I didn't have the coordination for it. The yarn kept tangling on my fingers and ended in a large knot. I discovered I'd rather read a book on knitting than actually knit.

"Mum, Dad, Sirius wants to know if we can go to London this week," James said.

"Subtle, James, real subtle," Sirius said. I smiled.

"Why do you want to go to London, Son?" Fleamont asked Sirius.

"Well, my Uncle Alphard had a flat there, and he sort of died earlier this year."

"Sirius, I'm so sorry to hear that," Euphemia said as she stopped knitting. I wasn't really surprised he hadn't said anything sooner. Sirius never spoke of his family.

"Thanks. I…I haven't spoken to him in years. He was always a bit…odd. But it turns out he left the flat to me, along with some money. I'd like to go see it, and if it checks out, I could move in this summer. You'd finally have me out of your hair."

"Well, seeing as how you are of age now, if that is what you would like to do then we support you, Son. But you should know that our door is always open for you. You have been the best son we could have asked for." Fleamont chuckled.

"Oi! What about your actual son?" James protested.

"My original analysis withholds."

We all laughed at James' expense as he mumbled under his breath.

"Can I come along too? I'm running low on ink. Oh! We could owl the others too; maybe they could meet us at the Leaky Cauldron." Remus of course, would be the first person I owled.

"Well, I was thinking that…" James began.

"I'll owl Lily too; though, I can't make any promises."

"Sold."

"When are you going to give it up, Mate? She's never…"

Whatever Sirius was about to say, I missed. Another memory had come on suddenly and I was fighting to keep the pain away.

"Kate? Sweetheart, are you all right?" Euphemia asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes…yes I'm fine."

"Was that another memory, Dear?"

I nodded my head; I was still trying to subdue the pain.

"That's the third one this week. Maybe we should take you to St. Mungo's and see if there is anything they can give you," Fleamont said.

"No! Please, I…I don't want to go there. The last time I went there I stayed for nearly a year. Please, don't make me go back. I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Fleamont, really," Euphemia called him off.

"Alright, alright."

"But you know, sweetheart, if there is anything we can do to help you, you need only ask."

"Actually…there may be something you can help me with."

"Anything, Dear," Fleamont said eagerly.

"Well, I…I was wondering… Why do you call me 'Kate?'" In all the memories I had regained, none of them ever had someone saying my name. "I mean, how did you know it was my name? When I woke up, I didn't know anything. Everyone kept calling me Kate, so I figured it must be my name and I went with it. But how did you know?"

"To be perfectly honest, I didn't know it was," Fleamont confessed with a shrug. "But you seemed to respond to it, so we…went with it."

"Well how did you get the name 'Kate,' Dad? Did you just pick a name at random?" James asked with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"Kate was the name on her bracelet."

"Do you mean my I.D. tag at the hospital?" I asked.

"No. I mean the little gold bracelet you were wearing when I found you."

This was the first time I'd heard anything about a bracelet I'd been wearing. Something didn't seem right. I wasn't allowed to have things of my own, so where did the bracelet come from?

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember ever having a bracelet. Do…do you still have it by chance?"

"Euphemia?" Fleamont asked, looking to his wife.

"Yes, I'm sure I have it somewhere. Let me go find it."

She must have known right where it was, because she wasn't gone long. When she returned I held my hand out eagerly. My heart was racing with a nervous excitement. This would be the first time I actually held something that was mine from my old life. Astrid's Guide didn't count because it was a different copy and not the same book.

Euphemia dropped the bracelet in my outstretched hand and…nothing happened. I turned the bracelet over, inspecting it. It was a simple gold plated chain; it wasn't even real gold. There was nothing spectacular about it. It was rather plain actually. On the chain there hung a single gold charm, a star with the name 'Kate' engraved on it. It was as I was rubbing my thumb over the star that I suddenly found myself being transported in time.

I was standing in a busy street, with little shops all around me. It was similar to Diagon Alley in a way, but there were Muggles around us. I was with my mother. When she turned around to look at me, it was the first time I got a good look at her face. (Usually if I saw her in a memory it was only the back of her head I saw.)

She had the same pale skin I had, and her eyes were the same shade of blue as mine. Her hair was like a dull ash color, and her face was lined with wrinkles that seemed as though they shouldn't be there. I could see where she had been very pretty at one time, but life with my father had drained her of her own life and color.

"Come along now, and stay close to me. There are a lot of nasty Muggles here, so you mustn't tell your father we were here." She took my hand and pulled me along after her.

We went quickly from shop to shop buying what we needed; we were never in one shop for very long. I asked for a lollipop in one store, but she said I couldn't have it. I asked for a pretty purple dress with blue lace in another. Again she said no, and she told me to stop asking for things.

In one shop, while she was talking to the shop keeper, I stepped away from her. I didn't go far; I could still see her and hear her. I walked away because I saw something shiny and I wanted a closer look.

On a little table there was a display of tiny gold bracelets. I thought they were all so pretty. I picked one up to look at it closed and found that it had a little gold star on it. I knew then that I wanted it, my very own star. I wanted it more than the lollipop and more than the pretty purple dress with blue lace. I looked to where my mother still stood with the shop keeper. I was about to ask her if I could have the bracelet, but she had told me to stop asking for things and I feared she'd say no again. I really wanted the gold bracelet; I really wanted my own star.

While mother wasn't looking, I pulled off the piece of paper that was attached to it, and slid the bracelet over my wrist.

"I stole it," I whispered. I looked up at Euphemia and then at Fleamont. "I stole it. I…I thought it was pretty, and I…I wanted it. So I stole it. I was going to ask my mother for it, but I was afraid she'd so no again. I didn't want her to say no, so I…"

I didn't want to say it again. I dropped the bracelet on the table beside my chair like it suddenly burned my hand.

"I wanted it because of the star. I didn't even know the name 'Kate' was on it." The truth hit me like a load of bricks and I suddenly felt very lost. "My name isn't even 'Kate.'"

"Then what is it?" Sirius asked.

I shook my head. "I have no idea. They've never said my name in a memory. Mostly my father just calls me 'girl' or 'child' and it's usually proceeded by an adjective like 'stupid' or 'foolish.'"

"You are neither stupid nor foolish! Do you hear me, Kate Potter?" Fleamont said rising to his feet, voice raised to something slightly less than a yell. It was a tone he usually only reserved for James.

"You are the brightest witch of your age I have ever known, the top in your class," he continued. That wasn't quite true; Lily was the top girl in the class, but I didn't correct him.

"And even if you were not, I'd love you just the same. Whoever your parents were before, they didn't deserve you. Not that we necessarily deserve you either, but we know how lucky we are to have you in our life. The day we brought you home from hospital is one of the happiest days of my life. It's right up there with the day we brought James into this world and the day I married your Mum."

By the time Fleamont was finished, I was blubbering like an idiot. I stood on shaky legs and made my way over and hugged him. Euphemia joined us.

"He's right you know," she said softly, and I knew she was struggling with her own tears. "We love you, and we couldn't have a more perfect, or a more beautiful daughter than if we'd created her."

James came over and joined in to, without a word. He didn't need to say anything for me to know that he felt the same. The four of us stood there for a while, holding each other close.

Then Sirius piped in with, "Potter Family Hug!" He jumped to his feet and nearly barreled us over with the force with which he hugged us. With him he brought some much needed laughter.

"How about I make us all some hot chocolate?" Euphemia asked.

"Will you make it with milk instead of water?" I asked weakly.

"Of course sweetheart." She kissed my forehead and walked to the kitchen.