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"What's going on?" Miranda asks, projecting genuine interest as she takes a seat behind her desk.

Tony flops in the chair on the opposite side, leaning forward to hold his head in his hands. "I don't even know where to start."

"You could start with why you're in my office today when you've already had a session this week."

Tony looks up, but he's still slumped over. "I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"What's that?"

"Stay married to Steve. I want to try to fix things for his sake, but I don't think I can keep pretending. I—I feel so guilty but I don't know how to ask for a divorce."

Miranda sits back in her chair and crosses her legs. "Have you been thinking about this for a while?"

"A few months," Tony mumbles, shrugging.

"Steve doesn't know?" she guesses.

"Steve doesn't know," Tony confirms.

"Does he suspect?"

"I can't imagine he hasn't thought about it. He's constantly getting after me for being a sarcastic asshole, and part of that is my personality, but maybe subconsciously I'm also doing it because I want him to agree to divorce."

"Just a moment ago you said you'd like to fix things for Steve's sake. What about for your sake? Would you prefer to wash your hands of the situation?"

"Kind of?" Tony asks more than answers. "I think with a lot of work, we could probably get back into the comfortable life we used to have."

"Does a comfortable lifestyle appeal to you?"

"Not really. I like spontaneity. Steve is definitely not spontaneous. He's got to have every aspect of his day planned out before the sun comes up."

"Whereas you're more of an 'as-you-go' person."

"Right. He's the reason we're even together."

"What makes you say that?"

"Steve invited me over to his apartment for dinner."

Miranda nods, thinking for a moment before she sweeps her bangs to the side. "Do you think you would have asked him on a date had he not been the first to invite you over?"

"Yeah," Tony shrugs. "I mean, I wouldn't have planned a date like he did. I'm not the type, but yeah. I was set on making him mine."

"Are you talking about marriage or in terms of property?"

Tony shrugs because he's never really been asked that question. "I mean, Steve's his own person, but I could definitely tell he was into me, so. I just—I'm gonna bring this up, 'cause it's obviously a problem: I can't fuck him. I can't have sex with my husband. We fumble and it's so awkward."

"Does Steve feel the same way?"

"I can't imagine that he doesn't. It's been a long time since things were okay in the bedroom. We had sex on Christmas Eve—or, we tried to."

"But you weren't very successful," she concludes.

Tony shakes his head. "I mean, when we had Bucky living with us, it was amazing. It was phenomenal, but not too much later Steve went away for a mission. Bucky and I grew really close."

Miranda nods as if she's heard this scenario a thousand times before between military spouses. "Physically and emotionally?"

"Maybe not emotionally," Tony shrugs, speaking somewhat softer as if it'll help him deny his feelings. "We were constantly together. The sex between us when Steve wasn't there was even—it was the best I've ever had. And I've had a lot of sex."

Miranda politely ducks her head to hide her shy smile before briefly collecting her thoughts and raising her head with a straight face.

Tony continues, "God, just one look from him and I was done. It's just—it's crazy. I've never felt like that before."

"Does Steve know you feel this way?"

"No," Tony shakes his head. "But I suspect he resents me for what went on between me and Bucky when he was away; that's when Steve really changed. After he came back, he was constantly nagging about something. I guess he thought that having Bucky move in was a mistake, because he asked him to move out."

"Did you want him to move out?"

Tony shrugs and tries to act indifferently, but his eyes cast down and decides to talk about another subject. "Steve's constantly bringing up the fact that he wants kids. I told him before we even got married that I didn't want kids."

"How do you deal with those conversations?"

"Ironically, I'm usually really childish when we talk about it. My dad was a complete dick and I may or may not be an alcoholic, so basically I'd be the world's most unfit father. Steve would be a good dad, though."

"But kids are out of the question for you."

Tony nods a little. "Yeah. I don't want—yeah."

"Is there anything else going on? Steve mentioned yesterday that he felt like you were unable to share your feelings with him."

"I don't know why. I just can't open myself up to him anymore." Tony reaches up and scrubs his face with tired hands. "God, I'm so fucked up."

"Why do you say that?"

"I can't admit things that I need to admit. I can't be honest with Steve anymore. I have all of this guilt because I knew I could never be what he deserves, but I guess I buried those emotions with the way he treated me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him because he was just so good."

"But now you feel unworthy of him."

"Yeah, sort of. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a domestic relationship with kids and a set schedule." Tony makes a face at the mere thought.

"You want spontaneity again."

"I want to be married to someone I'm crazy about. And that's—that's just not Steve anymore, but I'm going to try. I'm going to try for his sake because I at least owe it to him to try, you know?"

"I can understand the feeling of needing to try, but you need to make sure this is something you want, too," Miranda comments.

Tony nods and sits back in his chair, crossing his legs. "If we can fix things, I definitely want to. I'm not going to just half-ass it, either; I'm really willing to try, but Steve needs to understand that if I decide that can't be in this relationship anymore, he's gonna need to let me go. I'm not sure he'll let go that easily if things don't work, and that scares me."

"Is he resistant to change?"

"Yeah, and he's not a quitter by any means. He doesn't like to fail and he's definitely one to give second chances."

"Do you want a second chance?"

Tony shrugs, looking at his feet, because he doesn't want to answer the question.

"Tony," Miranda sighs, and fidgets with her gemstone necklace. "I'm here to help you, but I feel like there's something substantial that you're not telling me. Nothing you tell me will leave this room; it's safe to be completely honest with me. In order to guide you, I need you to be honest."

Tony looks anywhere but directly at Miranda, and digs his blunt fingernails into his thighs. He contemplates just blurting it out, but maybe he'll feel better if someone digs under his skin until the truth is pulled out of him like a painful splinter.

"What was your question again?"

"Do you want Steve to give you a second chance?"

The answer is on the tip of Tony's tongue too quickly, and he doesn't admit it immediately. He swallows hard and simply shrugs his shoulders. "Part of me wants him to push me further and further away until I have an excuse for not wanting to be with him anymore."

"And the other part of you?"

"The other part of me feels like I need to grow a pair and try my damnedest to make things work with the man I promised to spend the rest of my life with."

Miranda gives him an understanding nod. "Other than the complications within your marriage right now, is there any other reason that you wouldn't want to patch things up with Steve?" And she might as well come out and ask if Tony is having an affair; she's seen the signs too many times before.

Tony shakes his head 'no' and opens his mouth to speak, but Miranda gives him an all-knowing look.

"There's someone else," Tony sighs, and his heart threatens to beat itself to death.

"I had a feeling," Miranda discloses.

"And you're willing to bet it's Bucky," Tony provides, allowing his eyes to fall to the side.

"I had my suspicions, yes."

"And you're probably judging me because I'm a total bag of dicks and Steve is a sweetheart."

"It's my job not to judge you, Tony. I've heard crazier stories than having an affair with a close friend."

"Well, I feel like I can talk about him now," Tony admits quietly, running a hand over his hair. And he's got a burning urge to talk about Bucky and how amazing he is.

"Is he an element of your wanting a divorce?" Miranda inquires.

"Yeah." He stays silent for a minute before he looks up at Miranda directly. "Steve doesn't know."

"Do you think he should know?"

"He deserves to know, and I'll tell him eventually." He pauses and rubs his eyes. "Can we talk about Bucky?"

"Sure," Miranda nods.

"He's just—I can't even describe him."

"Why don't you try to?"

It comes out without much thought. "God, he's beautiful. He's this beautiful, exotic creature and he's passionate—nothing about him is boring, and he's so open-minded about things. He's kind of a bad boy. He's so smart, but he doesn't let it show; I love that. And he's not afraid to be honest with me. He doesn't take my bullshit and he calls me out on it. He makes me accountable for my actions. I mean, Steve does, too; but Bucky's just—he's different. I've never met anyone like him."

"It sounds like you really like him," Miranda concludes.

"I do, but I make such an ass of myself. He knows that Steve and I are having serious problems. He agreed to step back and let me sort everything out, but sometimes I wanna throw everything away to be with him."

"With Bucky?"

"Yeah." Tony relaxes in the chair, having gotten that off his chest, and bites back a smile. "I'm crazy about him. I look at him and feel a million different things at once, and that scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"I don't feel that way about Steve. I've never felt that many things for him before."

"Why do you think that is?" Miranda asks, and she finally feels like they're getting somewhere.

"I don't know. Bucky's just—he's everything. Steve is mostly just good, but Bucky is good and bad and everything in between. He's mysterious and he's got this dark side."

"Do you think these feelings are lasting?"

"I don't know. That scares me, too. I can live comfortably with Steve, but the unknown of what I could possibly have with Bucky would drive me insane for the rest of my life." Tony's phone bleeps and he fishes it out of his pocket with a muffled 'excuse me'. It's Pepper reminding him that he has a meeting.

"I have a meeting to get to." Tony stands and fidgets with his tie. "Thanks for talking to me. I'll see you next week."

"Bye, Tony. Remember, you can always sign up for additional counseling for just yourself."

Tony nods. "I'll keep that in mind."