Eric stood at the sink doing dishes. He heard Sawyer behind him helping the twins with their homework. He looked out the window and saw the sun setting and slowly disappearing behind the horizon. He saw how beautiful it was and couldn't believe that for a thousand years he had been deprived of that sight. He turned and smiled at his family. He walked over to the table and shut the math book that Sawyer was looking at. She looked up at him.
"We are all going for a little stroll on the beach," he said loving when the twins nodded and smiled in agreement.
"Eric, that's a great idea but the children need to finish their homework," Sawyer said.
"It's the weekend, Mom, we can do it tomorrow," Ardith pointed out.
"Please, Mom, can we go?" Aleryck asked looking at Sawyer and trying to pull a sad puppy face so she would give in.
"Yes, please, Mom can we go?" Eric asked smiling at Sawyer.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the three of them, "It is not fair how you three gang up on me," she answered.
The twins yelled in joy then ran off to get their sweaters and their shoes. Eric leaned down and kissed Sawyer on the neck. He felt her reached up and stroke his hair. He pulled away and looked into her eyes as he stroked her cheek. "I want to ask you something," he said softly.
"So ask me," she said.
"Later when we are on the beach."
Sawyer looked at him confused, "Are you sure you don't want to ask me now? The kids will be with us, Eric, we won't really have a chance to talk."
Eric shook his head and kissed Sawyer on the forehead, "I am sure we will have the time."
Sawyer watched him leave the kitchen. She shook her head, "Something is up with that man," she muttered under her breath.
Sawyer walked beside Eric holding his hand. She smiled as the twins ran around the beach with flash lights looking for sea shells. She stopped walking when Eric stopped. He let go of her hand and unrolled the blanket he had brought with him and placed it on the sand. Sawyer sat on it and pulled him down beside her. She snuggled close to him and nuzzled her face in his neck.
"Keep me warm, it's freezing out here," she said when Eric wrapped his arms around her.
"You think this is cold? It is not even really fall yet. And then there's winter," Eric said laughing.
Sawyer thought about it, "Pam mentioned once that you owned an island in the Caribbean. How about we go there for the winter?"
Eric shook his head, "You'll love the winters here. They are beautiful and the children can make snowmen and we can have snowball fights."
Sawyer cuddled closer to Eric, "That sounds wonderful. As long as I can stay in the house with a large cup of hot chocolate, it sounds like a wonderful plan."
Eric smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He held her closer to him. He was glad that he could keep her warm now. He watched as the twins ran around the beach. He knew that he didn't have much time if he wanted to bring up the subject of Loki and whatever Sawyer was keeping from him. He sighed and really hoped that it didn't turn into a fight. The last thing he wanted was to fight with her. He hated fighting with her.
"Vacker," he said.
"Mmm," Sawyer answered turning to look up at his face.
"When you summoned Loki, did you tell me everything that happened?" he asked softly.
Sawyer frowned and reached up to stroke his cheek, "Why? Did something happen?"
"No, well yes. I keep looking in your eyes and I see this worried look there. It's been there since you summoned Loki and its gotten worse the last couple of days. I just want to know if you are telling me everything."
Sawyer looked away from Eric. In her mind she heard Loki's words echo back to her about how the only way that Eric would be human again would be if he died a natural death. She took his hand in hers and held it tight. She didn't want him to know that. She also didn't want him to know that Loki had it in for her. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I told you everything," she said softly.
Eric stroked Sawyer's hair and looked out at the sea. The dark waves rolled in and he smiled as he watched Aleryck and Ardith dancing around them trying not to get wet. He looked down at the woman cocooned in his arms. He loved her with every ounce of his being. She had given him everything he had thought he would never have; had thought he didn't deserve. However, by loving her so much it meant he knew her so well. At times he wondered if he didn't know her more than he did Pam and he had spent a century with his prodigy. He knew her so well that he knew by the way she had turned away from him that she was lying. She had also become very still. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her jaw and rested his cheek against hers.
"Vacker, I love you so much but I know that you are lying to me," he whispered to her.
Sawyer closed her eyes and let a couple of tears fall. She pulled away from Eric and his touch. She smiled as the twins waved at her. She waved back at them then turned towards Eric. "I love you too, Eric and it kills me that you think I am lying to you. I'm not," she said.
"Don't do that, Sawyer, don't act like the wounded party here. I know you like the back of my hand. I know how you act when you are trying to protect me and you are doing it now. You are avoiding my eyes, pulling away from me and most of all trying to back out of this conversation. I can't do this anymore. I can't have what happened five years ago to happen again."
Sawyer looked at Eric and felt the anger building, "Would you be referring to when you lied to me about killing my brother when you really had him chained in the basement and were torturing him? Or how about when you had sex with Yvetta and then tried to tell me that you really wanted me?!" Sawyer screamed.
Eric grabbed her arm when she went to stand up, "I believe you forgot the biggest lie you have ever told. You told me to move on in that letter but we both know you had no intention of doing so. Do not stand there and think that I am the only one who has ever lied in this relationship. We have both told lies."
Sawyer pulled away from Eric and stood up. She looked down at him tears rolling down her cheeks. "I never said that it was only you who lied Eric. But in the end my lies never caused you any pain."
Eric stood up and towered over Sawyer. "You are wrong, every lie you have ever told me has hurt me. It kills me every time you choose to lie instead of confide in me the truth. I very much doubt that you could ever know how much it kills me inside."
Eric turned and walked away from Sawyer. He left her standing there on the beach and he walked off in the darkness of the night. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked. He blinked away the tears in his eyes. He sighed and wished that everything could be easier for Sawyer and him. All he wanted was to be a family with her and the twins. And it seemed like every time he turned around something happened that made that dream impossible.
Sawyer watched Eric go with tears rolling down her cheeks. She grabbed the blanket from the beach and rolled it up. She then walked over to the children and put on a brave face for them.
"Come on you two, it's time to head back," she said softly.
Ardith looked around, "Where's Daddy?" she asked turning her blue eyes at Sawyer.
"He went for a little walk. I think he misses being out in the night," Sawyer lied.
She saw the children nod. She smiled as they carried their pails with sea shells and walked beside her down the beach. She glad for the darkness because then the twins couldn't see her tears that refused to stop rolling down her cheeks.
Eric walked up the road to the house. He saw the light on in the windows and knew that Sawyer had stayed up and waited for him. He sighed and looked down at his feet. He knew that he shouldn't have walked away from her and the twins but the truth was he had just wanted to get away for a while and allow himself some time to think. He walked up to the door and slowly pushed it open. He walked in the room and pulled off his jacket. He saw Sawyer watching him from her spot on the couch. She was wrapped in a throw blanket wearing one of his t-shirts and had a book on her lap. Eric toed off his shoes and walked over to the couch. He sat across from her and watched as she placed a bookmark in her book and placed it on the coffee table.
He looked into her eyes and saw that she had been crying, "I am sorry I wasn't here to tuck the children in," he whispered softly.
"It's all right. I am use to putting them to bed by myself," Sawyer jabbed at him. She then shook her head, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," she raked a hand through her hair, "Why is it lately whatever I say to you is wrong?" she whispered.
"It's not wrong, Vacker, it's just," Eric sighed and looked down at his hands, "it's hard. All I want is the truth from you and I feel like I am not getting it. I feel like you are still protecting me or at least you think you are. I can handle anything, Sawyer except your lies."
Sawyer nodded. She pushed aside the blanket and stood up. She began to pace. She stopped and closed her eyes. She turned and looked at Eric. She had tears in her eyes. "Loki made you human because he hates me, Eric. He hates the power that I have. And he refused to turn you back. He," she bit her lip, "he said you will only become a vampire again if you die a natural death," she whispered.
Eric watched as the tears flowed freely from his wife's eyes. He got up and walked over to her and pulled her in his arms. She sobbed against his chest. He closed his eyes and could feel Sawyer's fear and worry radiate off of her. He could not understand how she had held it inside of her for so long without cracking. He stroked her back and her hair. He let his own tears fall when Sawyer's sobs racked her body and he physically had to hold her up. Her pain was so raw and deep.
"Shh, Vacker, I do not blame you. This is not your fault," he said not even attempting to think about what Sawyer had told him. He would have time later once he had comforted his wife to actually think through the consequences and what Loki had said really meant for him.
"It feels like it is. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have wished for anything."
Sawyer felt Eric swing her up in his arms as her sobs and tears slowed down. She nuzzled her face in his neck and let him carry her up the stairs to their room. She was drained and tired. She had finally just let go and had the cry that she had wanted to have for the past month. She let Eric place on the bed and pull the covers around her. She watched as he pulled off his clothes and then climbed in beside her. He wrapped his body completely around hers and she felt tears come to her eyes again. She remembered when he had held her like this after he had killed Finn. She grabbed his arm and held his hand tight in hers. She felt his lips kiss the back of her neck.
"Vacker, we will figure this out. Tomorrow in the morning, everything will seem better. You'll see," he whispered to her.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Eric but I just didn't know how to. How could I possibly tell you that you are going to die a natural human death but wake up again as a vampire? It isn't right or fair. He should-," Sawyer started.
"Shhh, go to sleep. We have the rest of our lives to complain and bad mouth Loki."
Eric felt Sawyer nod. He closed his eyes as well and held her tighter against him. He ran his thumb along Sawyer's hand and fell into a light sleep. He wanted to make sure that he would wake up if Sawyer needed him. He had a feeling that she would wake up a few more times during the night tears flowing. He fell asleep thinking that this was a major obstacle that they had to overcome.