The Aerowing was loaded with people. I sat in Nosedive's lap and Loki sat in Grin's, in dog form. Thrash and Mookie shared the seventh seat, which was awkward for them since they weren't a couple.

"Oh, well," Nosedive told them. "You're in a band together. You may end up having to share a bed in hotel room. Metallica did that lots of times."

I wondered if that meant Nosedive might one day sleep next to Mookie. I hoped not.

I asked Loki if he had a plan concerning breaking into Los Alamos National Laboratory.

"Yes," he said. "I have a plan. I'll explain that later. I don't want to give away all my secrets."

"But you can trust me!"

"Yes, but it's unprofessional to give every detail. What if you were the chameleon?"

Borrowing my grandmother's phrase, I said, "Oh, poo!"

Dive decided to change the subject. "Let's listen to music."

"Music makes it hard to concentrate," said Wildwing.

"Heavy metal disturbs my inner peace," said Grin.

"You're no fun," Nosedive jeered.

"I think you should let me help with your mission," I said to Loki. "I'm getting pretty good. I successfully framed Marcus and my subliminal messaging made Grandma OK with your wife moving in."

"You are learning," Loki admitted. "But it's easier for one Chihuahua to go unnoticed than it is for a Chihuahua and a human. I'm planning on sneaking around the building via the air ducts."

"Oh." I'm small, but some air ducts were too narrow for even me to fit in.

"Well," said Thrash, "I'm glad we're going to New Mexico. I've always wanted to go."

"Yeah," said Mook. "I wish we really were going to a UFO convention. Maybe we can take a trip to Roswell."

"But you already live in Anaheim," said Wildwing. "There's far more alien activity in Anaheim than there is in Roswell."

"I wanna see the Grays," said Thrash. "There's Grays in New Mexico."

"I'll take an alien duck over a Gray any day," I said.

It took forever to get to New Mexico, even though the Aerowing is a little faster than an Earth plane. As we flew over the land I saw that New Mexico was way different than Tennessee. It was very rugged, with lots of mesas, deserts and forests. Some of these forests weren't as dense as the ones at home, and they reminded me of the head of a balding man. Instead of hairs, he had identical pine trees.

The hotel we picked was a cute little place called North Trail Inn. Nosedive and Loki got a room to share. I roomed with Tanya and Mallory. Thrash and Mook got a room of their own. Grin got a room by himself, and Wildwing shared a room with Duke.

Once everyone got settled in, Loki called us into the room he shared with Nosedive. He was in duck form. Tall, with black hair, silver feathers, and a black bill.

"Ok," Loki announced. "I'm heading out. Nobody call me. I will make all the calls. Unless you don't hear from me for three days. Then come looking for me."

"Gotcha." Everyone nodded and expressed agreement.

Loki/Silverwing got up from his set and said, "Goodbye everyone. Wish me luck."

"Don't get killed," I said, concerned.

"Yeah," said Dive. "We like you."

"And no rookie mistakes," Duke added.

"No need to worry about that," said Loki. We all said "bye" and saw him off as he went out the door.

Loki's POV

When I exited the hotel, it was getting dark. I went behind the building and turned into a dog. If anyone saw me, they would hopefully put it down to a hallucination. But I don't think anyone saw me.

I was much faster on two legs than four. People would see me, but they wouldn't think I was going anywhere important. Humans believe they are the only creatures of Earth who can think. I was actually grateful for their human-centric ways. They'd assume I was either a stray, or someone's pet on his way home to get some kibble.

I'd already seen a map of the area. I had committed it to memory days ago. I didn't go to the laboratory. Not yet. I went toward the home of Matthew Bentz.

According to my research, Matthew Bentz was rumored to be working with antimatter and trying to perfect an interdimensional portal opening gun. Of course, he denied these claims, but the conspiracy theorists continued to speculate. All I could do was hope that the crazy conspiracy theorists had grounds for their beliefs. If any human in the U.S. was developing portal tech, it was most likely him.

I had to get his scent. How else would I find him in such a massive laboratory?

On the way to his yard, several cars stopped so that kids could get out and try to catch me. Kids would run up to me and say, "Come here doggie! I want to pet you! Yo quiro Taco Bell!" but I had no time for that. I couldn't risk them catching me and trying to "adopt" me.

The scientist's address had been easy to find. All I'd had to do was look up his tax records.

Once I found his yard, I settled in the bushes beneath a window. Chihuahuas can't smell as well as Beagles and we aren't as good at long-range tracking, but I could definitely catch a whiff of the human when sniffing around his house. I have a memory like an elephant. I knew I wouldn't forget the scent.

I decided to hang around while in the bushes. My legs and feet were sore. Besides, it gave me time to learn about the target.

He was at home. I could hear his TV on. He was watching M*A*S*H reruns. Who'd have thought? I guess it's dumb to assume they only watch the science channel.

One thing that struck me as odd was the fact that Bentz lived alone. I could smell female humans that he'd probably brought home for a good time, but there was no sign of a wife or children. You'd expect a successful scientist to have a family, unless maybe he had secrets that were too big, secrets that would make a family a liability.

Soon I was overtaken by the warm New Mexico air and began drifting off. Even the nights were warm. It felt so nice when I was in Chihuahua form, though I'd hate it in Duck form.

I don't know how long I dozed, but I woke up to the sound of Bentz talking to himself. "Time to call Lee," he said. A moment later, he was on the phone. "Kim Lee?" he said. "Yes, yes, this is Bentz…Yes, it is me, sir. I'm watching M*A*S*H, as per usual. I was calling to tell you that it is ready. I've made the portal machine much more compact now. The Blueprints are at the lab, but if you meet me at Roscoe's tomorrow after seven I will have them for you on a floppy disc. …Yes, Roscoe's. The patrons will be drunk. They won't notice our exchange. Besides, the women at Roscoe's are always up for some fun."

What had I just stumbled into? Bentz was talking to former Los Alamos scientist Kim Lee! Kim Lee was in the news not long ago. He'd just been released from prison. As the story goes, he'd been locked up for handing nuclear secrets over to China and now he was out!

I realized that he must still be working for China, and that Bentz must be selling secrets to him for some extra cash so that he could keep up his apparent playboy lifestyle.

This was big.

I wondered if I could sneak in the lab and retrieve the blueprint before Bentz went to work the next morning. If not, I'd just have to wait until later and catch up with Bentz and Lee at the bar, and hope that my pickpocket skills were good enough to get the floppy disc then.

Meanwhile: Fang's POV

I was reclining against some pillows when Mallory asked, "So, you wanted me to teach you to fight?"

"Sure," I replied.

Mallory was, without a doubt, the best fighter on the team. No matter how intimidating she was, I wouldn't let myself back out.

"Ok," she said. "Have you had any previous training?"

"Nope. Well, I've punched bullies before. And I tried some martial arts classes, but I have trouble memorizing forms."

"You'll definitely need to learn some forms," she said.

I groaned. "Can't you just show me some pressure points?"

"You said you wanted to know how to fight. I'm going to teach you how to fight."

"I think I have potential to be good," I said. "When I'm angry or threatened, sometimes I'm just so full of rage I lose all fear and ability to feel pain. I get this pens and needles feeling and I think I might even get stronger. But, only a little bit stronger. No matter how much I Hulk out, I'm still ridiculously tiny."

"You're only a few inches shorter than me," said Mal.

"True…and you're kick ass. Do you ever start feeling that prickly pins-and-needles feeling when you're really angry? Do your feathers kind of stand on end?"

"No, but sometimes I see red."

"Ah…I thought everyone got like I do. Ok. Show me what I need to learn."

And so, Mallory spent a good two hours working with me on my stance and showing me some exercises to improve my balance. She was impressed with my punching technique, but I still had a long way to come on my kicking because my balance was really bad. She taught me to tuck my toes in a little bit so I wouldn't hurt them when kicking.

Tanya watched us and tried to cheer me on, but she kept getting distracted by an issue of Popular Mechanics.

She was impressed with my progress, so she decided to give in and teach me little bit about pressure points.

"I hope pressure points are the same on humans as they are on Ducks," she said. "I don't want to teach you wrong."

She taught me about one place where you can hit somebody on their head and it only takes fifteen pounds of pressure to kill them.

"Do not use that unless you absolutely have to in order to save yourself," she warned me. "We don't believe in killing and I hope you don't either."

"Don't worry," I said. "I'm a little better at controlling my temper now than I was during puberty." When I was around 12 and 13, I was always losing control of my temper and beating the bullies to a pulp. I always "won" the fight, but that's not because I was strong. It's because the teacher or principal would always break it up before the bully had a chance to punch me back. I'm so small that I'm sure it wouldn't take much to lay me up in the hospital.

At around 14, I finally found a way to suppress my temper, although I can't explain how. I still get inklings of the rage for a few seconds, but I (almost) always snap out of it.

After all the training Mallory put me through, I felt accomplished and pleasantly sleepy. I laid back on my bed and turned the TV on while Mal and Tanya crashed in the other bed. They were asleep almost instantly.

Thankful that I was still awake, I began to creep towards the door. I was yearning for Nosedive. I had to be with him.

But as soon as I opened the door, Mallory's head show up.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Uh…"

"Your mom wanted you to stay in here with me and Tanya."

"Heh." I scratched my back nervously. "My mom sorta changed her mind about that. That's why she gave me these. Not that I'm going to be using them." I took the condoms out of my pocket.

Mallory got out of bed and came to see what I was holding. "Are you sure your mom gave you those?"

"Yes. Remember when she called me in for a private talk? But I'm not going to use them. I'm not into sex. I just want to see Nosedive. OK?"

"Hm. I don't want your mom pissed at me."

"She doesn't have to know."

"She is your mother. She does have a right to know."

"Then call her and tell her. I promise, she won't mind."

"Deal."

I gave Mallory my mom's number and then took off down the hall and knocked on Nosedive's room.

"Hold on," he said.

"It's me."

At that, he came right to the door and let me in, giving me a big hug. "I was hoping you'd come!"

"I knew you decided to room with Loki so we could have some alone time while he's out doing his thing."

"You know me well."

We climbed onto the bed and held each other. "Whatcha been doing?" I asked him.

"Thinking about you. And channel surfing."

"I've been learning to fight. And thinking about you." I kissed him. Before I met him, I'd had no idea that the edges of a duck's bill (at least one of his kind) were kind of soft. It was nice (on him, anyway. I am not attracted to Earth ducks.) I ran my fingers through his hair. Hair is so sensual to me. "I want to brush it," I whispered.

"There's a brush in the bathroom," he said gently.

I jumped up and retrieved the hair brush. He moved to the edge of the bed and I sat behind him, with my legs wrapped around him, and began brushing his hair. The position felt very intimate.

While I brushed his hair, we shot the shit and he flipped through the TV channels. It was late, and most of the channels were now showing infomercials. We both had to laugh when we came across the OxiClean commercial, but we didn't linger on it for long. He went ahead and flipped it to the next channel over.

He immediately began laughing. I peeked over his shoulder and looked at the TV. They were showing all sorts of, shall we say…adult personal devices. No matter how squeamish I was about sex, I couldn't tear my eyes away. Some of these sex toys had hilarious names, while others were quite disturbing. One massive object was called the Conquistador 2000.

"Of course," I remarked. "Things shaped like penises have to be given conquer-y names because they're tools of domination in our society."

"It's not like that on my planet," Nosedive reminded me.

I squeezed him tighter with my legs. "What is it like on your planet?"

"It's whatever you want it to be. I mean, I guess. I've never had sex with anyone besides myself, so…"

"You're a virgin!? With those looks?!"

"Hey, I might be hot, but most of the girls on my planet think I'm crazy. They'd rather have some cookie cutter, ideal student like Canard than someone who believes in Drake DuCaine and hangs out with the weirdos."

"But you're so hot! And a little bit cocky. I don't believe you're a virgin."

"Well, I almost had sex with someone once after I came to Earth. They left that out of the show."

"Lucretia?"

"No comment."

"Well, it doesn't matter to me. It wouldn't change how I feel about you. I can't believe we're both virgins. You're the star of the team! And you're gorgeous! You could have any woman you want."

"I want you!"

"I want you too!"

We repositioned so that we were facing each other. I started kissing him all over and he started taking my shirt off. I was breathing heavily, and thoroughly excited, but I was also afraid.

"Wait!" I said. "I'm not sure I want to do this yet." I knew he wasn't like Earth guys, but I was still nervous about the idea of sex.

"Ok," he said. "I'll wait as long as you want."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Meanwhile: Loki's POV

"I still got it," I said to myself as I crawled through the air ducts at LANL. I had called Duke and gotten him to meet up with me in a dark alley close to, but not on, LANL property. He'd given me a grappling hook and other breaking and entering supplies which I pulled behind me in a bag. He'd wanted to come with me, but I'd said no. I insisted that he stay nearby, but not on laboratory grounds, just in case I needed backup.

Crawling through the ducts, I was glad Duke hadn't come. Not only would a giant duck draw attention, he was just too big to fit. The lab had small air ducts precisely so that no one could sneak in through them. But they wouldn't keep out a five pound Chihuahua (I was supposed to be three pounds, but what can I say? I love food!)

There were several different buildings, but I'd entered the one that smelled most like Matthew Bentz. Every time I came to a vent, I would sniff the room below. There were multiple rooms that smelled like this Bentz character. Hell, the bathrooms smelled like tons of people.

There were so many rooms, so much space to cover. The night wasn't getting younger. Finally, I settled on a room that seemed particularly important and removed the vent. It wasn't bolted down. Carefully, I lowered myself down onto counter. The counter spanned three sterile-looking white walls. To one side of me was a computer, to the other side was a sink. There were cabinets all over the walls. On a table in the center of the room was a bizarre looking gun. That must be the portal generator! Too bad it was too large to fit through the air ducts. It was probably heavier than me.

I turned into a duck and put on some rubber gloves that were on the counter. The feathers on my fingertips were thin, and I didn't want to leave fingerprints. Using my nimble duck fingers, I took the tape out of the surveillance camera and put it in my bag. The scientists would realize it was missing, but when it came out that Bentz was working with Lee, he would be blamed. Nobody would suspect a five pound dog.

Once the camera was taken care of, I went to the computer and checked to see if it had a floppy disc in it. There wasn't one. The disc was probably in the drawer below the computer, but the drawer was locked. I began going through the cabinets looking for some kind of tool to pick the lock with, when I discovered some strange canisters. Did they contain antimatter?

I put a canister in my bag. Tanya might need it. Then, I went to the portal generator and inspected it. Yep, it was too heavy for me to carry out in dog form, and probably wouldn't fit through the vent anyway.

Right as I sat the generator down, I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Someone was probably headed to the room I was in. I shoved my bag into the air duct. Then, I turned back into a dog and climbed up my rope. Cautiously, I replaced the vent. I peered through the vent and saw a young blonde woman in a lab coat enter the room. Right behind her was Bentz with a cup of coffee.

"At least someone besides me likes to get an early start," he told the woman.

"I'm excited about this project," she said. "The huge, closet-sized teleportation rooms were a pain in the ass. All I have to do is work out a little bit and I can carry that gateway generator with me everywhere I go."

"It is a little clunky," said Bentz. "But a newer, smaller one is just around the corner." He turned the computer on.

The woman hefted up the gateway generator and aimed it at the wall. She pressed a button and then a swirly black hole began to appear several yards in front of her. "I'd hate to see a regular citizen get one of these," she said. "They'd leave it on too long and the black hole would grow until it swallowed up the whole planet. Then two universes would collapse on each other and 'KABOOM!'" She turned the device off, and the hole disappeared.

"Don't even joke about that," said Bentz. "If these things ever do go on the market, people will have to acquire a license first."

"The pro-gun people will hate that. I can see the anti-portal-control activists now."

Bentz laughed and put the floppy in the computer. I realized my best chance to get the floppy would be at the bar, so I went ahead and left the laboratory.

To my relief, Duke was still waiting for me in the dark alley.

"'Bout time," he said, sucking on a tooth pick. "I need some coffee. So. How'd it go?"

"Boy, do I have news!"