POV: Emilia
3 years ago
I licked my lips again, slowly swiping my tongue over the traces of blood that were smeared onto them. I leaned against the railing of the balcony setting my eyes on the garden bellow me. I could smell the rose bushes from where I was standing. Their scent was strong and sweet, unnervingly sweet. I crumpled my nose and brought the glass I held in my hand to my lips. I took a big gulp relishing the taste of blood and wine mixing in my mouth.
I tried remembering where I was. London? Paris? Rome? I guess places and people just started melting into one long, bloodthirsty driven rampage after a while.
Downing the rest of my drink I tossed the glass over the balcony and listened to it shatter against the ground. I skipped over the dead guy lying on the floor and snatched the wine bottle from the table. I heard a muffled cry coming from the girl that was still sitting on the bed tied to the bedpost with a cloth stuck in her mouth. I climbed next to her as she tried desperately to wiggle away from me.
"Don't be scared, it's alright", I reassured her, but my voice lacked any comfort whatsoever.
She just wept into the cloth and started shaking, her terrified eyes fixed on mine.
"I'm going to remove this", I explained impatiently tugging the fabric from her mouth, "And you are going to be a good girl and keep your voice down. Now, tell me, which city are we in?"
"Praha", she mumbled in a low voice.
Ah, Prague, that's right. I tried remembering how I ended up here in the first place, while I took a sip from the bottle. No luck. The girl's eyes never left my face and as tears rolled down her cheeks she stammered out: "Prosím, nezabíjejte mě."
"Sorry, darling, you're going to have to translate that", I chuckled monotonously.
"Please, don't kill me", Alexei suddenly spoke up making me twitch.
I didn't even notice his return to our room. I turned to look at him, my eyebrow shooting up as I asked: "What?"
"That's what she said to you", he explained dropping his keys on the table and stripping his jacket off.
"Oh", I exclaimed turning my attention back to the sniveling mess next to me, "Don't worry darling. I'm not going to kill you, yet."
"I don't think she knows English, Love", he chuckled joining me on the bed.
His hand traveled up my back and around my neck. He pulled me towards him and when I faced him he slammed his lips against mine in a fierce kiss. Moving back slightly he looked at me with the look as closes to fondness as a Strigoi can get and said: "Моя богиня."
"Goddess? I thought I was your Queen."
"You can be any of it and all of it my Sweet", he proposed taking the bottle I was holding, "Are we awakening her or killing her?"
"Awakening", I responded glancing at the girl again.
He studied her for a second and then commented: "Doesn't she remind you of that cousin of yours? What is it that you called her, Aya?".
"Ava", I responded through gritted teeth as I scanned the girl up and down again, "She does resemble her slightly."
Before I even knew what I was doing, I got up harshly, ripping the rope she was tied with and dragging her with me to the balcony. She was sobbing by now. I knew we didn't need to speak the same language in order for her to understand there was no way any of this will end well for her. I looked at her glossy blue eyes and thought of Avery. My dear cousin. Those words sounded so strange to me, they had no emotions, no love, no feelings in them whatsoever. I loved her once and now she was just a long lost memory. And she should stay just that.
I put almost no effort into tossing the girl over the balcony. She was as light as a feather, but she landed on the pavement with a loud crack. I walked back in closing the door behind me.
"I thought we were awakening her", Alexei observed bluntly leaning back on the bed.
"I changed my mind", I retorted kneeling to sink my teeth into the guy underneath me so I can suck him dry.
I don't want anything reminding me of how it used to feel having someone who loves you, I wanted to add, but that just wasn't in my nature anymore. I liked it like this. I liked being detached. And I loved the voices in my head not being there anymore to tell me the things I didn't want to hear.
Present
I woke up with a dreadful felling. Not just because of the nightmares about my horrible past that even Adrian didn't manage to keep away last night, but because of the thing that awaited me as I opened my eyes. Today was the day. The day I finally get to see Avery after so long. I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me the hell out.
Adrian offered to go with me and I accepted it graciously because I couldn't possibly imagine going through this alone. Almost through the entire ride to the hospital though we were both silent and with each mile passing I felt worse.
"You need to try to relax", Adrian remarked startling me so much by the sudden sound he made that I almost crashed into the car surpassing me, "The closer we are getting, the more darkness is slipping into your aura."
"I'm trying", I blurted out focusing on the road while trying to keep the car in our intended lane.
"Do you want me to drive?", he prompted obviously noticing my unsteadiness.
"It's fine. I can drive. Besides it keeps me preoccupied."
"Okay", he replied simply putting a lot more trust in me than he should, before going back to being mute.
As we drew into the parking lot I began feeling sick. I got out of the car, my legs shaking so much I could barely stand. Placing my hand on the hood I bent over trying not to puke.
"Are you okay?", Adrian asked hurrying to me and holding me up, "I know it sound impossible when it comes to you, but you really don't look so good."
I managed a weak smile and replied: "Fine. Just, you know, having a slight panic attack, nothing serious."
"We don't have to go in if you don't want to. We can get back into the car and drive away", he suggested and I know he meant it. He would get back in the car and take me miles away if I wanted him to. He'd do it without a doubt in his mind. But as tempting as his offer sounded I knew I had no other choice but to do this. This was the least I could do. So I shook my head, trying to stand as straight as I could and I stated: "No. I need to see her. She is my cousin. If there is a way for me to help her, make her feel better, I need to try. I know you're not the biggest fan of her, but please, help me do this."
"It doesn't matter if I'm a fan or not. You know damn well I'd do anything for you. Just let me know if it gets worse, okay?", he stressed confirming my earlier thoughts.
I just nodded before casting a look towards the hospital. The building looked more like a hotel than an institution, aside from the very visible bars on the windows. The lawn around it was beautiful and the path leading to the entrance bathed in warm yellow lights.
"Can you feel them?", Adrian asked as we walked up to the entrance.
"Who?", I questioned frowning as I glanced around like that might explain what he was referring to.
"Spirit User. There is a few of them in there", he mumbled showing discomfort upon his words.
I tuned into the Spirit and picked up on the same thing. The very thought sent shivers down my spine.
Adrian's hand catching mine made me move again and we made our way inside. We stopped when we reached the counter where we were greeted by a middle aged woman sitting there. Her blond hair was neatly tucked into a bun and her makeup and nails were done flawlessly. She looked more like a receptionist working for a fashion magazine or an elite beauty salon than a madhouse. She looked up at us and smiled in a fake polite way.
"Can I help you?"
"We are here to see a patient, Avery Lazar", I stammered feeling my stomach flip again at the mention of her name.
"And you are?"
"Her cousin", I responded sliding my ID over the counter.
She tapped on her keyboard for about a minute before picking up the phone dialing someone. Seconds later a nurse appeared from a nearby room, greeting us with a polite smile and what I thought to be an overly cheerful voice.
"Welcome to The Fox Recovery Center, we are always glad to see new guests."
Like I said, more like a hotel.
"Will you follow me please?", the nurse added turning on her heal.
I looked at Adrian, noticing a look of amusement on his face. I guess I wasn't the only one confused by the staff's behavior. We followed her down the hallways and I soon realized that the area around the counter was going to be the last hotel like part of the establishment we'll see. I mean the rest wasn't really a horror movie asylum, it was more like the setting in "Girl, Interrupted", but a lot less fancier than the lobby that's for sure.
After a while the nurse stopped in front of the door marked with numbers 243 and turning to us announced: "Here we go. She is in there. Good luck. I'll be outside if you need me."
I looked at Adrian in panic, but he just squeezed my hand and nudged me inside. The room we walked into was just like I expected it to be, bare walls painted in light shades of blue, one bared window, a few lonely pieces of furniture all extremely almost unnaturally white, rounded, safe and plain. It was the kind of room I feared I might end up in one day. As my eyes darted across the space before me I noticed a girl curled up in a ball in the corner, her back prompted against the wall and her arms wrapped around her legs, dressed in the same shiny white colored clothes. She was skinny, too skinny. Her face was buried in a tangled up mess of lifeless black strands of hair. She seemed like she wasn't even breathing, her body was perfectly still, like she was trying to blend in with the walls that surrounded her.
This is my Ava. I felt an ache in my heart growing as I stepped forward slowly, still clinging to Adrian and whispered in a cracked voice: "Avery."
She didn't move, didn't even flinch. She was still an inanimate bundle. So I tried again, like introducing myself might help: "Avery, it's me Emilia."
Nothing. I looked back at Adrian and he shrugged, but I could see obvious signs of discomfort and sadness on his face. He moved to stand next to me again as he spoke up in a voice louder than mine trying to catch her attention: "Avery, we just want to talk to you."
Just like me he failed. I reluctantly let go of his hand and took one more uncertain step towards her as I breathed out one word like a question and an answer in the same time: "Ava."
I questioned my sanity more times than I can count, I spent hours thinking, researching, looking for the answers, desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with me, where was that darkness coming from, why were those strange voices devouring my mind? And now, after so, so long, those voices in my head all merged into one, clear, familiar voice.
"Hello, cousin!"
POV: Avery
5 years ago
PTSD, losing track of time, blackouts, panic attacks, trances, depression, schizophrenia-. I slammed my laptop shut and wrapped the blanket tighter around my body. My eyes hurt from staring at the screen for hours. I was no closer to finding what I was looking for and I felt like I was drowning. I grabbed my cellphone from the nightstand and scrolled through my contacts list, stopping when I reached E. I stared at her name for solid ten minutes, but then reluctantly switched the phone off and tossed it onto the bed.
I felt the familiar itch again, like bugs crawling all over my ribs and arms. I scratched franticly, feeling the anger build up inside of me. When I stopped, I looked at my fingers and saw traces of blood underneath my nails. Jumping from the bed, I raced to the mirror and shrieked upon seeing red lines all over my arms. And then I collapsed.
My eyes were set on the horizon as I admired the sunset. I felt a cold breeze coming from the window so I tightened the bedsheet around myself. The colors splashed over the sky were beautiful and calming.
Strong, warm arms encircled my waist as his chest slid against my back. I leaned into his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed my temple, my cheek, my neck and shoulder. His voice came out as a whisper, sending goosebumps over my body: "Why are you up малышка?"
"I couldn't sleep", I answered in a strange voice followed by a sigh.
"Anything I can do to help?", he asked fingers brushed my hair down gently.
"Not really", I muttered as I closed the window catching our reflection in it.
His hair was loosely hanging around his face, the face so flawless it was like he was a god or something, his gorgeous brown eyes were swimming in sadness and worry, but they were still overflowed with love in the same time, while my eyes shone with all their violet intensity, fixing his, trying to convey that love back.
Wait what? My eyes aren't violet! They are blue!
I turned around to face him and he kissed me. Everything about this scene seemed familiar, but still I looked down at the hands that weren't mine, the lips that melted into his didn't belong to me.
Who the hell was I? I need to stop. Something is wrong here.
The rage started building up again. I wanted to run, but my hands slid around his neck and I kept kissing him.
No, stop! You need to stop! STOP!
"Stop", I mumbled into his lips pushing him away.
"What?", he asked confused, his eyes searching my face like he was trying to determine if he heard me correctly.
"You need to stop", I repeated my voice shaky.
"Милая, what's wrong?"
What's wrong is that you are a piece of shit who just wants to drag me to bed.
"Who the hell are you?", I exclaimed.
"Eka, it's me Dimitri", he breathed out in shock.
Emilia? You can hear me?
I realized then why everything seemed so familiar. And beyond all reason I knew somehow that I was in Emilia's head.
"Yes I can hear you, now get out of my head", she screamed out.
"Emilia, you are scaring me, who are you talking to?", he stammered trying to reach for her as she jerked backwards.
You don't recognize me?
"I don't know any of you", she continued and then looking back at Dimitri she cried out, "Mitya, something's wrong with me, I, I can hear voices in my head."
My eyes snapped open and I saw my reflection in the mirror as I lay sprawled over the floor. Traces of gold lingered in my eyes and they began fading away as tears replaced them.
POV: Emilia
"You don't recognize me? He didn't show up, he doesn't love you. You are a fool, you should have known better. Tell him, tell him everything, see how he'll feel. Hurt him. Kill him. And what make you think there is more of us? Ever heard of an echo?"
The words ringing through my head again felt like knifes being plunged into my heart. My knees buckled and I sank to the bed holding on to the bedframe for support. Adrian just looked at me confused and worried, unable to follow what was going on inside my head. It was her this whole time?
That's when she finally moved. She looked up at us, her face like the one straight out of a horror movie. Her blue eyes were shining and her lips twitched into a bloodcurdling smile. It hurt me just thinking it, but her state and the way she looked could have only been described by one word - evil.
"Why?", I murmured feeling tears burn the inside of my throat as I tried to hold them back.
She didn't respond, she just lunched at me. She moved so fast it took both Adrian and I completely off guard. He tried stopping her, but she slammed into him and sent him flying towards the floor. She gripped my hair so tightly she almost ripped it off as she hurled me towards the corner she was sitting in, knocking my head into a wall. I tried to free myself from her grasp blindly kicking backwards as I cried out: "Avery, stop, what are you doing?"
I managed to hit her leg, making her crumple to the floor next to me. I cast a look over my shoulder and saw Adrian reaching for the handle of the door, probably in an attempt to get help, before I felt a blast of energy next to me.
"Nobody's leaving", Avery screamed in a voice that made my skin crawl and the next thing I know Adrian flew over the room and crashed into the window.
I screamed too, as his body slumped to the ground unconscious. I heard somebody banging on the door, but I was distracted by Avery suddenly seizing my arms.
"You shouldn't have come here малышка. Is that how he called you? How does this one call you?", she snapped, her eyes wondering swiftly to Adrian and then back to me.
"Avery please, you don't have to do this. I can help you. We can make this better", I pleaded.
"Help me, hah, oh cousin I'm so over you helping me. The last time you tried helping this happened", she ranted spreading her arms like there was something in particular I was supposed to see. Guessing my confusion she continued: "Do you want to know what happens when a spirit user becomes shadow kissed? I'll tell you what happens!"
She picked me up and shoved me to the bed. I had no idea where her strength, both physical and magical, was coming from and I was surprised by how helpless I felt against her.
"You see every Spirit User has a bit of darkness inside of them. The more you use Spirit the more room you leave for the darkness to slip in. And when you die and come back, when you become shadow kissed, when your mind gets liked to another's, well then it's a freaking party in there isn't it?", she screamed franticly patting her hand against my head trying to prove her point somehow.
"So then you have your own darkness, the darkness that comes from the other side that you are tattered to and the darkness sipping in from your bond mate. Total anarchy. You know balance lost, scales being tipped over. That's when you start losing your mind, start slipping into those spirit induced trances and you're helpless. I would just pop into your head and start saying things, things I didn't want to say, but couldn't stop them from coming out of my mouth. So I tormented you, because the darkness made me torment you until you were gone."
I fell from the bed and tried getting up, but she landed a kick on my stomach making me gasp and curl into a ball because of the pain.
"But then, then you just had to come back and when your soul found its way back into you, so did I. See, I was there in the darkness with you and when you woke up in the hospital, I told you to say help me, when you saw Adrian, because truthfully I needed help. There was no help for me though so I just had to stay through everything else after that. But you see, I'm tired of going crazy because of you so it's time for you to disappear again."
Her hands slipped around my neck and she tightened them so much I thought she was going to rip my head off. I clawed at her hands watching her in horror as I fought for air. She sat down on me, pressing me into the ground and rendering my escape from her impossible.
"Bye, bye Ems", she spat out with hatred.
My lunges burned and my vision became dim. I was seconds away from passing out when, suddenly, Avery got lifted off of me and I began coughing like crazy. I managed to raise my head up as Adrian, whose grip was on Avery, screamed: "Run."
Beyond all reason I somehow managed to scramble to my feet and get to the door. The hospital staff probably failed to enter the room because Avery was blocking it, but with her guard down and powers drained, I managed to open it, allowing all of them to burst inside. They worked fast. She was out of Adrian's arms and tied to the bed in seconds, a nurse plunging a syringe with a sedative into her neck. She screamed at the top of her lungs and mumbled words that were unrecognizable. I stood at the door shaking, until Adrian rushed to me and forced me out of the room. Her screams followed us down the hallway. I was so shocked I didn't even realize we got out of the hospital. Adrian pressing me down to the passenger seat was the first thing I registered. He kneeled between my legs and reached for my forehead. I felt warmth speeding from where his palm touched me and when he pulled his hand back I saw my blood all over it. It must have been from the injury caused my facetime with the wall.
"Are you alright? Did she hurt you anywhere else?", he asked in a frantic voice scanning me up and down.
"I'm fine", I replied numbly.
"I don't get it, why would she do that, why would she attack you?", Adrian blurted out casting a frowny look towards the hospital, like he could see Avery through those walls.
"It was her, the whole time", I mumbled dragging his attention back to me, "When I brought her back we bonded and she was overflowed with all the worst parts of the spirit, the voices, it was just her all along, I-."
"But when you turned the bond surely broke, it doesn't make any sense."
"No, Avery's soul stayed connected to mine somehow and once I was restored the bond just sparked back up. That means she was connected to my soul when it was swallowed by darkness, hate and coldness, making her mind bathe in all of those horrific things."
"Okay, say all of that is true, that still doesn't clarify to me the reason she attacked you", he fumed clearly still worried about the injuries she caused.
"She blames me for everything. She said she was going crazy because of me. Is this really my fault?", I whispered in dejection.
Adrian stayed quiet for a while, trying to process everything and when he spoke again his voice was the most serious one I have ever heard him use: "You saved her life and instead of living it she allowed herself to give into the spirits pressure and let her mind slip into madness. She obviously didn't fight it as nearly as much as she should have and then she pushed you to the breaking point, she caused your downfall, making herself go off the dip end as well. You can't blame yourself for any of that. It was out of your hands."
I buried my head into the seat feeling the growing throbbing inside of it. I just wanted to be away from this place, her, my doubts and the pain, so I found myself mumbling: "Can we go home now?"
"Sure, but what about Avery, do we just leave her here?", Adrian asked prudently.
"That wasn't Avery. My Ava is gone. She died in that park in Russia. There is nothing more I can do for her", I whispered pulling my legs into the car and slumping against my seat utterly defeated.
On our way back home all I could think about was how hard I fought to get my life back together, how much I wanted things to go back to normal and how, in ten minutes, all of it came crumbling down into nothingness. If you couldn't save me, what makes you think you can save yourself?, Avery's voice was faint and weak in my head from the sedatives numbing her down, but it still burned through my mind making me, for the first time, crave the oblivion being a Strigoi offered.
What if I go over the edge again? I looked at Adrian, his hands firmly gripping the wheel, his beautiful features overshadowed by dark emotions boiling inside of him, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but his mind clearly elsewhere. I reached out for his hand and he instantly lowered it, cuddling mine inside the warmth of his fingers. He briefly allowed his eyes to drift to me and gave me the brightest, most supportive smile he could conjure up in the moment. No, I thought, I won't fall down this time. Not as long as his hand held mine. And somehow I knew he wasn't planning to ever let it go.
Chapter song: Whisper - Evanescence
To avoid confusions - The Fox Recovery Center is not a real facility (I think!). I just made the name up on the spot and kind of rolled with it.
From original AN: Avery's POV might have been confusing because of the bold and italic stuff, so let me explain it: I used italic since she was obviously inside Emilia's head and I used bold for the things she said to Emilia (aka the voices E heard)! I hope that cleared things up a little if it was difficult to follow. And once again I'll repeat that Emilia thought she was hearing more voices, but it was just Avery's echo, so I hope that's clear enough now too!