The next three days went blissfully by in much the same fashion for Christine and Raoul. She was only slightly concerned to find that there was no voice calling her to lessons after her performances. Even the sensation of adoring amber eyes seemed to fade. She was too busy enjoying New York City for the first time to really notice, though. Even better, her employer at the bookshop gave her weekends off without too much docking in her pay. She was feeling happy when around Raoul and spending more time as herself, she felt.
Saturday morning sprang up with a promise from Raoul for some excitement. He had asked her and Meg to meet him at the Majestic around eight o'clock. When they got there, Meg dressed in a carefree black and white polka-dot dress and Christine in a red one to match—a gift from the former—they were both surprised to see not only Raoul, but another gentleman.
'Ladies,' Raoul announced when they were close enough. 'This is one of my shipmates and best friends. Now, I've made him promise to be on his best behaviour, so if he is anything but chivalrous you let me know.' He beamed at the ladies, nodding to his friend who was now eyeing him bitterly for his joke.
'Ah, you must be Tom. Raoul's mentioned you often.' Christine shot him a somewhat telling grin of mischief.
'And you must be the lovely Christine our boy here never shuts up about,' Tom said, smiling politely and ducking to take Christine's hand in an old fashioned and a bit cheesy bow.
'Mhm, and this is Meg.' She waved to the blonde who was doing anything but hiding.
'Pleased to meet you.' Meg nodded along, eyeing the man and sizing him up. Christine had to hide an eye roll at this. Leave it to Meg to scout the crowd. Finally, Meg walked closer to Tom, looping her arm in his as they moved off to their surprise destination.
'I think you're going to love this, Christine,' Raoul told her, taking her arm and beaming.
'I'm sure I will. Thank you for letting me bring Meg along,' she smiled back at him, feeling their strides match up despite their height difference.
'Of course! I wanted you to meet one of the guys, but I thought you might feel better with a little help.'
'Well, if I had more friends I would have brought a date for everyone on the ship.'
'Ah, it's all right. I'm sure those guys are doing just fine on their own.'
'And Tom seems to be taken,' Christine noted, smiling back over her shoulder as the cleverly inserted Meg laughed and talked effortlessly, keeping her hold firm on the obviously well off man.
'Yeah, she could do worse,' Raoul agreed jokingly.
Laughing and chatting, they all took the subway out to the piers and into the bright and colourful cacophony of Coney Island.
Christine had thought she had seen the bright lights of New York, but looking at the flashing bulbs on every ride, stand, and sign, she felt dazzled. She looked around, wide-eyed, at every sight and listened with childlike excitement to every sound. The calling to see false wonders of the world, the heckling for impossible games with little prizes, and the assurances of enjoyment upon the plethora of rides filled the air.
Raoul watched her eyes alight and her smile just get bigger and bigger. 'What do you want to do first?' he asked her.
'All of it!' She turned to him and in her eyes was the child he had fallen for all those years ago. She was happy and brilliant like the sun.
'Lead the way,' he told her with a dramatic sweep of his arm. He smiled as she bounced along the dock, stopping every so often to smell the salty air, to look in one of the booths, to point something out, or to simply make sure he was still by her side.
Taking her arm, he led her over to a house of mirrors, making fun with their reflections, won her a stuffed dog from a ring toss, and then took her up on a Ferris Wheel with a cone of cotton candy. The whole while, her smile never faded, and her eyes were never dulled. They spent hours of fun out in the sunlight, making Christine realise how much she had missed it for all of her night-time adventures.
Shuffling closer, he put his arm boldly around her shoulders in the car of the massive wheel. She seemed a bit nervous as to the height of the thing, and squeaked a bit when it stopped.
'It's all right,' he assured her when the car rocked some. 'It's supposed to do that,' he explained, noting the beautiful late afternoon sunlight filtering into her hair. She looked beautiful.
'I suppose we'll have to head back soon so Meg and I can go to work,' she told him, also realising how quickly the day was passing.
'Don't worry about that. Just enjoy the time we have. I mean, where else are you going to find a view like this?' He gestured to the sun shimmering in the water and she smiled in reply.
'Thank you for today, Raoul. I don't think I ever had so much fun in my life than I have with you,' she told him, looking into his blue eyes and seeing the whole ocean.
'I know I certainly haven't. You make it all shine, Christine.' He gazed at her all the more deeply. She smiled at her feet.
Tipping up her chin as he had so many times before, he found her hazel eyes and locked onto them. 'Your smile's too pretty to go around hiding. A guy could get jealous of the ground when all you do is look at it,' he told her with his usual humour mixed with his acquired New York accent. He had spent enough time and effort into picking it up that he doubted he would ever go back to the French he had grown up with. That life seemed far too constrictive. All of it tied with position and class. Here it was all equal ground. No one would sneer at him if he married a woman below his rank. Here, he had no rank beyond his military status.
He started to lean in, his eyes still holding hers, and she began to worry. What if it still did not feel right? She had not found the time to think it all through yet. She wanted to have more time to know where her heart truly lay. Was it here in the clouds with Raoul? Or underground with Erik? She wished for a middle ground. She wanted something where she could put her feet down and know she could stand in the sunlight without being blinded. Raoul was always so happy and he was her friend so long ago, but Erik was so supportive and her confidant for many years. Neither seemed right to her.
Somewhat thankfully for her, Raoul's moment was interrupted when the Ferris Wheel started to move again. He snapped back a bit when he realised they were moving and cursed the man in charge of the ride for not giving him just a moment longer.
As they descended and exited the car, Christine looked anywhere but Raoul. She felt a certain discomfort at knowing what had almost happened again. She vowed that as soon as she got a moment to herself tonight, she would think this all through and possibly find a way to not feel guilty. She could embrace him and not feel terrible, but kissing was something different. He had been her first kiss in all her life and she had imagined it was someone else. How pathetic.
Joining back up with Meg and Tom, she snickered to see to what lengths the petite blonde had managed to ensnare her escort. Tom was carrying a Teddy bear animal almost as big as Meg.
'I see you played some of the games,' she said, noticing that Meg's arm was linked with Tom's still.
'Oh, yes, and Tom won me this.' She pointed behind her.
'And he gets to carry it, lucky him.' Christine eyed her friend accusingly.
'It's all right,' Tom said from beneath a mountain of fluff.
'But how are we going to get it onto the subway?' Christine asked, ever the rational thinker.
'Oh, I didn't think about that.' Meg tapped her lip in honest contemplation. This won another eye roll from her brunette friend.
'I'll call her a cab,' Tom offered, speaking up in his smooth voice. Meg opened her mouth to object, knowing how expensive cabs could be when one was in desperate need. They seemed to sense your being in a tight spot and jack up the prices just for you. Tom only raised his hand in insistence.
Christine leaned into Raoul's arm as they walked back towards regular civilization. They finally hailed a taxi, determining that Meg and Tom would ride back to her apartment to drop off the prize-animal, and Raoul would take Christine on to the Majestic. He wanted a bit of time alone with her anyway. Even though they had spent most of the morning on their own, Raoul wished to speak with her a bit more privately.
They got into the subway car, which was surprisingly empty for this time of day, and rode back. Raoul glanced at her every few seconds, noticing something was wrong.
'Did you have a good time today?' he asked, concerned for her but not wishing to seem too bothersome.
'Yes, I did. I had never been there before,' she told him, placing a smile on her lips. It did not reach her eyes, but she hoped he would not see.
'I had only been once, myself. It was a lot more fun to have you with me,' he continued, searching her features for anything that may tell him what was troubling her. Deciding just to go ahead and bite the bullet, he braced himself. 'Is everything all right?'
She looked at him a moment too long. 'I'm fine.'
'Really? Because you seem kind of down.'
'I'm just thinking about work tonight,' she hedged. She was thinking about the Majestic this evening, true, but it was more in line with who resided below its floors that garnered her attention.
'I'm sure you'll be wonderful just like every night,' he assured her, reaching over and rubbing her shoulder bracingly. He smiled, and she returned it weakly. Taking this as just nerves, he ploughed on through with other topics. Christine drifted in and out of them, leaning into his shoulder as the subway car rattled down its underground track.
Raoul was a very nice man, and he put her at ease nearly every time he smiled, but there was something missing. Something she needed more than the comfort of an average life. His words and promises were all very normal and any girl should want them. He gave her space and listened to her when she talked, but she always felt a bit lacking. She worried she was not cheerful enough or common enough to hold his interest. He talked of joining the war and she only wished for it to be over. He spoke of stability later and she just wanted to feel like she belonged somewhere now. She had cut a life for herself here, but she never felt like she should be as satisfied with it as she was. Staying with Raoul would most definitely bring that. He would go off to war, have his taste of glory, come home a hero and settle her down somewhere to have an ungodly number of children, just like the world expected. Not that she had any great aspirations, but being average never seemed to work out as well for her as she might like.
Before she knew it, they were walking down the street towards the café. Stepping up to the door, she idly noticed the smoke was not coming from Erik's special grate. Perhaps he was warm enough down there without the fireplace.
'Well, I'm afraid we have to report to the dock this weekend, but I'll see you Monday after the show and we can go get dinner then,' he said, dragging her away from her thoughts.
'All right. Don't worry about it too much. I don't want you to get in trouble over me,' she assured, patting his arm as he still held hers.
'You're sure?' He looked at her with that worry creeping in again.
'I'll be fine. I'm a big girl and can handle myself for a couple nights,' she told him with a false bit of bravado.
'Then I will see you Monday.' He bowed theatrically to her once more and walked off down the street. Christine watched him a moment, noting his slightly bounce gait. His broad shoulders and narrow waist cut quite the figure. His golden curls shone a bit in the sunlight and his smile could be felt all the way down the street.
Turning, she walked in the door of the café, wondering what new adventure awaited her in the slightly dimmed establishment.
Christine soaked in the applause as usual after her performance. She felt a bit of a blank space when looking out into the audience and not seeing Raoul smiling up at her, but she was more worried about the faded eyes she felt on her from their usual hidden spot. Something was wrong, but she could not quite place what, yet.
Stepping down from the stage into the hallway, she nodded her thanks to the band while they continued for a bit longer. The managers had decided to give her some nights off coming this week to highlight the band with some of Mr. Miller's pieces. She looked forward to spending more time with Raoul in his last week before shipping off for a month.
She nearly screamed when she turned round to see a tall—but not as tall as she remembered—shadow looming in front of the door to her dressing room. Gasping and clutching at her heart, she looked back nervously for fear that one of the band members had heard her mild squeak.
'Erik? What are you doing here?' she asked, noting how hunched his back looked as he faced away from her.
'It came to hear you sing. You sounded so beautiful,' he said in a cold and distant voice much unlike his own.
'Are you all right?' she came toward him, reaching out to touch his back while she searched out his eyes.
'It is fine,' was his only reply.
'It? Erik, do you want me to take you home?' she asked, starting to really worry about him.
He looked at her suddenly, his eyes alight as though she had just asked him if he wanted a kiss. 'Yes, It has a home.' Those eyes, so expressive when they wished to be, dulled almost instantly. 'It has a hole. Not fit for you. It is sorry.' He hung his head.
'Erik, come on. Let's just get down there and we can talk, all right?' she told him, starting to move him forward gently with one hand while she opened the door with the other. His back was thin and bony, much like the rest of him, but she thought it felt thinner than usual.
Letting him open the mirror, she helped him through. He seemed to straighten some as they walked down the dark hall, perhaps sensing she could not see as well as he could. He struggled a bit with the elevator door, but managed it open and closed when they were both inside. The ride was as snug as she remember but what worried her was the somewhat laboured sound of his breathing beside her. She looked up in the darkness, but his glowing eyes remained resolutely forward.
Once in his home, he opened the doors, this time with Christine's help. He staggered forward some when he stepped out, but she made sure to catch him. He felt her shiver a bit when she noticed his fireplace was not lit. It got unnaturally cold down in his home.
'Forgive It for not lighting the fire,' he told her, shuffling over to it and scrambling with the matches.
'Erik, it's fine. I'm mostly worried about you. You don't seem well.' She looked at him as he lit the fire. It illuminated him in an otherwise seemingly menacing light. She came over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. His suit's shoulder pads did little to hide the sharply angled bones beneath.
He shivered when he felt her hand touch him. He closed his eyes to the warmth that slowly started to spread through the fabric to touch his skin.
'Oh, Christine,' he murmured in a whisper. 'You are so beautiful. It does not deserve you. It should not love you. It is sorry.' At this he leaned over and clutched at the fabric of her skirt, burying his face in its light material.
Christine did not know what to do. Her heart was pounding and her eyes pricked with tears. She did not understand what was happening. 'Erik?' she asked as though looking for him. She was not sure who was kneeling before and crying into her dress, but she knew it was not the man she had come to see.
'Erik, are you having another attack? Please tell me!' she begged, reaching down to take his hands.
'Oh, Christine!' he cried loudly before he wept more at the touch of her hands on his.
'Erik! Did I hurt you?' She let go instantly at his outburst, searching his face for signs of pain.
'Never! You are my Goddess and I the lowly slave set to worship at your feet. My beautiful and cruel Goddess!' He continued to cry, a delirious smile on his face while his eyes screwed up in suffering.
'Erik, are you drunk?' She looked at him in horror now, wondering what sort of trouble he had gotten himself into in her absence. He shook his head, leaving her to wonder what was wrong. A thought occurred to her and she reached down to put her fingers under his chin. Sure enough, his skin was hot. He had a slight fever. She worried for a moment if it was the same as what she had suffered earlier in the week, but put it aside as it would do little to help him now.
'When was the last time you ate?' she asked, wondering if food would help him. Again he shook his head, making her worry even more. His breathing was starting to slow some and she grew anxious he would faint. She was not strong enough to carry him, thin as he was. She would have to get him to a bed and fast.
'Erik, come on, get up. You need to lie down,' she told him, taking his arms and helping him to stand. He complied easily, though he did not stand up straight. Tears still rolled out from beneath the edge of the mask.
Looping his arm round her shoulders, she helped him towards the hallway. He looked to his bedroom, but Christine steered him resolutely towards the other bedroom.
'No, I'm not having you sleep in that awful coffin,' she told him when he leaned towards his bedroom door.
Erik stopped suddenly, nearly making Christine have both of them fall. She looked up at him with a bitterly frustrated eye. His eyes showed nothing but fear. She softened instantly, seeing nothing but a scared child in a man's body.
'It cannot sleep there. That is your bed. It cannot sleep in a Goddess' bed,' he told her, starting to sink again.
'No, Erik, no, don't give up on me,' she muttered, trying to heft him to his feet. It was no use, though. He was already on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him in supplication.
'It does not deserve your kindness,' he wept again. 'It is too hideous. It is sorry. It is sorry a monster loves you! It is sorry! Forgive It! Forgive It!' He broke down, grasping her sides with the gentlest tips of his fingers. He bowed until just the top of his head grazed her stomach.
'Erik, stop it!' She started to panic again.
'It lives in a hole and dreams of beauty! Forgive It!' he cried into her, not noticing how her stomach fluttered with rasping breaths.
'Erik, stop, please! Look at me.' She tried to lift his head to meet her eyes, but he would not move.
Christine felt her arms come round him, holding him. 'Stop it, Erik, you're scaring me!' she cried fully, letting her fearful tears drip down to his head. She caved at her diaphragm and held him to her tighter. 'Come back to me, Erik! I need you!'
Erik opened his eyes when he felt her sobbing breaths make her spine protrude. He looked up when he felt her tears run down his ear and mingle with his own just under the edge of the mask. He felt as though he were waking from a dream, though his mind was still in a fog.
'Christine?' he asked, his voice returning a bit.
She stood up to look at him, her eyes shimmering with tearful hope. When she saw him, his amber orbs glimmering with fearful concern, she let out a cry before bending down to hold him again.
'Don't leave me like that!' she wept into his shoulder.
'Oh, forgive It-me, my love,' he promised back, feeling his breath catch at her closeness.
She stood up again. 'Come on, we still need to get you in bed,' she told him with a firmness she hoped would move him.
He stood and let her help him into her room, guiding him over to the edge of the bed. He sat down and was about to take off his shoes when she started slipping his jacket from his shoulders. He froze when he saw her fingers come to unbutton his vest. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined her undressing him, even if it was only partially. When he was divested of all the harder parts of his ensemble, she gently went to his neck tie. He looked into her focused eyes and nearly wept all over again at how delicately she removed the silk tie and unfurled the knot. He gasped and nearly fell apart when she undid the first two buttons of his shirt.
His near death experience came when she ducked down and unlaced his shoes, carefully taking his ankle and prying them off. His whole body quivered when she touched his leg and he nearly missed her next question.
'Do you want your socks off?' she asked, looking up at him expectantly.
He just managed to shake his head when she asked the question which sent him reeling.
'What about your belt? Should I leave it on?'
How in the Hell was he supposed to answer that?! To say no would make her worry for his comfort, but to say yes would mean not only that he expected her to undress him like a child, but also for her to have her hands so close to…
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, feeling the idiot for looking like a fish out of water, and for not having an answer. Unfortunately, her mind seemed to somehow manage to catch up to his as her eyes lowered to the floor and her cheeks reddened as she realised her question.
Erik fell over, his eyes rolling back into his head a bit. His embarrassment knew no bounds, yet his body determined he should remain awake to continue his suffering from humiliation.
'Oh!' she cried, seeing him fall to his shoulder. Thankfully, his head landed on the pillow. Scurrying about, she managed to pry back the blankets and help him manoeuvre himself into a more comfortable position. He felt himself tip until he was lying face up on the pillow, his body caringly swaddled in bedding, and his darling Christine's voice muttering little assurances around him. He did not know if she was calming him or herself, but she was too beautiful this way for him to care.
'There,' she said, finally having covered him and tucked him in to her liking. 'Comfy?' she asked, looking at him and hoping he was not too warm.
He gazed at her a moment, only barely registering that the gorgeous way her lips moved meant she had spoken and that those words meant something other than the beautiful sound they made. He let his lips tug into the slightest of smiles as her pretty brow creased a bit. She was adorable when confused.
She came round the bed and sat lightly on the edge by his hip. 'I could take your mask off if it would make you more comfortable,' she offered, already guessing the answer.
Erik frowned and shook his head violently. His mouth now refused to work.
'All right, all right. It was just an offer,' she raised her hands in surrender.
Erik surprised her when his hand reached up to snatch hers. She looked at him with widened but unafraid eyes.
'Erik loves you,' he murmured. His eyes were drooping as fatigue took its toll once more. 'You make me human,' he said, just above a whisper.
Christine looked down at him with tears threatening again as he drifted off to sleep. No, her life was far from normal, and she doubted that would be changing any time soon.