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Jazz's POV.

I stared at the empty bed. I touched Dougie's old pilow. It was actually mine, I stole his years ago and he never asked me to return it. He never asked for anything.

I sighed.

The room felt so... Useless... Empty... Without him on it.

My phone rang, breaking the deep silence I wasn't use to at this point. It moved uncontrollably inside my pocket.

"Hello?" I said.

"Please tell me it hasn't happened again" I didn't have to ask who this was, I recognized Tom's voice almost inmediately. He sounded very troubled.

"Well..." I hesitated "Should I not answer, then?"

"Oh, dear God, Jazzie! Do you have any idea what this means!"

"It wasn't my fault this time! It was just... Well..."

"What? What happened?" he asked impatiently "Why do I suddenly hear your brother's came back alone? And he wouldn't talk to me when I called him and tried to get him to explain something, anything, to me!"

"He proposed to her, she said no and both of them left. Separately"

It took him a while to suck it up apparently.

"Tom...?" I said.

"He proposed to her?" he repeated, sounding very shocked. We all were. No one ever saw that one coming.

"Yes"

"And she really said no!"

"That's what I said" I sighed. The subject made me uncomfortable, though many times I'd laughed about Dougie's ex-girlfriends. This time it wasn't funny.

"I can't believe it! None of it! We all thought she'd be the one for him"

"He seemed to think that too" I remembered the way he looked at her, so different from the way he looked at his past girlfriends. Something had changed, I noticed it from the begining and it bothered me so much right there, right then...

"Don't you know where she is?" he asked "She can't be at Dougie's and I've never heard her mention other friends... Maybe if I could just talk to her..."

"I dont know where she is, I'm sorry" I said.

"Well, then..." he hesitated, maybe not sure what he should say now. There was just nothing left to say "I'll see if there's anything I can do, Dougie must be so broken... Let me know if you hear from them"

"Ok..." I almost choked.

I sat on the bed.

'It's not my fault' I thought once again 'This time I had nothing to do with their breakup!'

Then why did I still feel so guilty, so miserable?

I find it hard to picture my brother with somebody else... He's taken care of mum and I ever since out father left, always tried to make us happy, baring our crazyness. Now we had all driven him far too crazy. He didn't want us, any of us, at all. He started yelling at us and never stopped until he was out of the house and gone. Mum begged him to stay, but he didn't hear her for the first time in his life. For the first time ever, he decided he'd had enough. Dougie didn't even want to look at us. He'd left just a couple of days before Christmas... He'd never done that before.

This was a big deal. This meant a lot. He didn't want us anymore.

And all because of her! Was it our fault that she rejected him? No! Was it my fault? No!

'Then why...?' I sighed as I kept thinking 'Why do I still feel so guilty?'

Mum hasn't been this sad since dad left. I don't remember that day very well, luckyly. Dougie must remember it clearly though. I just remember he would always come to me whenever I was feeling sad, whenever I asked why dad had left; then Dougie would take my hand and tell me to smile even when he couldn't 'cause he understood better what was going on. He understood better then than dad had left because he didn't love us... And now Dougie didn't want us anymore, just like it happened to with my father... This had to be like a déjà vu tu my mum. And it was to me too, now that I saw things like that.

'If only Stephanie had said yes...' I thought. Uncle Daniel and my grandma are old-fashioned and... well... a bit racist to be honest! But, hey, if they got married, they would have to shut the hell up after all, right? They think they are so tough... Well, I'm just as tough. I would have told them to shut the fuck up and leave Dougie alone... I should have done that. My jealousy hadn't let me.

'If only I could somehow fix this mess...'

But how could I? I'm stuck here! And what would I do anyway? Nobody knows where Steph is anyway. And what's the point in trying to talk to Dougie? He won't forgive us, not this time.

'Unless I find her...'

Like Tom's idea! What if we got her to change her mind? Maybe if I get them together again, he'll forgive us, he'll see we still love him, even though we are... Well, unbearable.

'Nobody knows where she is!'

Nobody was gentle enough to ask... And she wasn't with Dougie... And she can't go to her family, she doesn't have one as far as I knew, or at least she couldn't count on them.

I remembered something and put my head in my hands, trying to remember. I had ingored that day while trying to be rude with her. She was talking about her favorites places in the world...

'What did she say to me that morning?'

She said she liked France, but she'd always like England a lot more. She mentioned three places...

'London... She mentioned three places in London'

One was Dougie's home, she said she loved the design of the place, an old building. She said it reminded her of something, I can't remember what exactly...

"Shit!" I said out loud, frustrated "What else did she say!"

Why did I have to be so stupid? So selfish! What was I thinking? Of course Dougie would have to get married sooner or later, one day, either I liked it or not!

If I'd only listened to her!

I sighed, feeling extremely frustrated and angry at myself.

At least maybe there was a small chance to find her if I remembered what she'd told me, but I just couldn't... I stood up and looked out the window. I closed my eyes and touched the cold window; it was still snowing outside, like the night Dougie fell in the park's lake.

'That's it!' I thought 'She said something about a park... A tree, colors... Something about Dougie too...'

She'd smiled shyly at me and described the place where they'd met. A park. She'd said that had been the first time she'd laughed so much in many years, she'd said that place was special because, to her, it meant the end of her old sad life. I remembered that part now and I felt guilty for ignoring her that morning, she was being nice to me, telling me stuff about her... I should have listened to her.

But there was something else related to the park! The third place... I had to remember it! She could be there!

"What the hell did she say, dammit?" I hit the window.

I grabbed my phone again and dialed Tom's number.

"Hello?"

"Where did they meet?"

"Jazzie? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. Where did they meet?" I asked impatiently.

"What are you talking about?"

"My brother and Stephanie!" I said anxiously "Where did they meet?"

"Manchester, they met in Manchester" he said, sounding a little bit confused "In a park in front of our hotel"

"That's it, she's got to be there! Do you know how to get there?"

"Yes I know... But- How do you know she'll be there?"

"She told me about it, she said it was one of her favourites places in the world?"

"Well, but if she's got more than one favourite place-"

"We've got to at least try! Please! Dougie hates me, he won't forgive us at least I fix this. Please, Tom"

"And what am I supposed to do? Pick you up and drive to Manchester?"

"Yes!"

"Jazzie, it'd take us ages to get there! It's about a four hours journey from Corringham to Manchester, and it'd take me about two hours to pick you up"

"Come on, Tom! Don't do it for me, do it for them, they are your friends. Please. I know I can convince her. Tom, you have to take me to Manchester"

I heard him sigh.

"Alright, alright!" he sounded pissed, but someone rarely says no to me. People just can't, it's awesome "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Great!" I half-smiled "Thanks so much!"

"I'm not doing for you, Jazz, it's for Dougie's sake" he said.

"Ok, yeah, whatever... Just call me when you're here, don't get out of the car"

"Why not?" he sounded suspicious, Tom knows me well.

"I'm no way in hell telling my mum about this"

"You're just going to take off? Jazzie, no way-"

"You already said you would! Dougie needs you"

"I'm not ever going to pick up the phone again when I see your number, keep that in mind"

"Oh, yes, you will, Tom"

I hung up the phone and ran to my room to change my clothes. I was suddenly nervous and started thinking about what I'd say to her. First of all, I would have to convince her that the reasons she'd gave him when she'd said no to his proposal where stupid and wrong. Then, I'd tell her how awesome my brother was, how right he was for her... Because he was. And, if I had to be honest, Stephanie had been the brightest girlfriend Dougie had introduced us. She wasn't slutty, yet she didn't look boring. She seemed smart and sweet... I could accept her, I could get use to her...

When I want something, I usually get it. This wasn't going to be the exception. That girl's going to say yes to my brother this time.