Author's note:

It took me forever to get this damn chapter finished. There's something really unfair about getting horribly ill (flu + bronchitis) while you're writing about someone being sick. And then the rest of the damn household plus my in-laws got it too, and everyone was- or still is- on antibiotics, and- well, let's just say that sitting down and trying to write coherently was the last thing on my mind for a couple of weeks there.

xxx

Seated on the Sunny's figurehead with his head and shoulders resting against the lion's mane at his back, Luffy yawns enormously and rubs his knuckles into his closed eyes, wondering if he's got time for a short nap before someone calls him down from his perch.

If Nami hadn't said it looks like it's gonna pour, I think I'd just sleep out here tonight…

The captain's unbearably tired, having spent the previous three nights listening to his first mate cough and sneeze and curse and roll restlessly from side to side. Nothing more than a mild cold, thankfully, brought on by his pregnancy-suppressed immune system succumbing to the stress and drastic temperature changes caused by overexerting himself while soaked with first cold rain and then near-freezing seawater, but it's still enough to make the older pirate absolutely miserable.

Every time Zoro starts to fall asleep, he coughs himself awake. And he wakes up the peas too, and then he can't sleep 'cause they won't stop kicking him.

Chopper's now hesitantly- very cautiously and very hesitantly- optimistic that both of their unborn children came through the attack largely unscathed, but without a scan to provide adequate proof, his orders continue to stand as given, and between the lack of real answers and spending the last week and a half in bed, the swordsman's irritable and frustrated. Being sick and unable to rest properly just makes the mandatory confinement worse, and he's already confided to Luffy that only his concern for the twins has prevented him from throwing the bed pan in their doctor's face, getting up and storming out of the women's quarters.

Well, that and 'cause he's gigantic and every time he moves around too much or too fast, he feels like he's gonna barf.

As they feared, Zoro's nausea has returned almost constantly now that he's lost frequent access to dry land, and although he's dutifully choking down what he keeps referring to as "those god-awful piece-of-shit crackers" every morning, they're not providing much relief. He's had more luck simply lying as still as possible, eye shut and a pillow hugged against his middle, but the number of feasible resting positions are limited, and after a while he's forced to shift and stretch cramped, aching muscles.

Despite his discomfort and periodically flaring temper, however, the green-haired man's made it abundantly clear that he's determined to give both babies whatever time they need to reach adequate weight and development.

"He didn't even say anything- he just glared at me when I told him Law might decide to do the laparotomy early!" Luffy recalls their doctor fretting in the dining hall yesterday afternoon. "And I know he's worried about it being too soon, but we might not have a choice!"

Edema. Proteinura. The growing risk of eclamptic seizures. A potential for early placental degradation. The captain's head is whirling with so much medical jargon he barely understands that he's beginning to feel as though someone jammed him face-first into the head and flushed, but it all boils down to one thing: given his current condition, there's no way his swordsman's going to make it to the thirty-seven weeks considered full term for twins.

Thirty-one. He's only gonna be thirty-one weeks in a couple days. Chopper says the peas can't breathe by themselves yet; they still need Zoro doing it for 'em, and it'll take AT LEAST three, maybe four or even five more weeks until they can do it without help.

But that's only if the pee-clampy thing doesn't make it too dangerous to keep waiting. If it gets bad enough that he thinks Zoro might start having those seizures... Chopper said he's gonna have to operate right away, even if it's still too early. Even if Law's not here yet.

The captain runs a hand through his hair, still exhausted but no longer interested in napping.

I knew it wasn't gonna be easy, having another baby, but- it wasn't supposed to be this hard!

He doesn't regret his children; he was already head over heels, brimming with joy and excitement long before he heard their fast-paced little heartbeats, glimpsed their developing shapes on the monitor or felt them moving in his partner's belly. Before he knew they were two.

No, and especially now that he does know and now that he's done all of those things, he can't regret- he REFUSES to regret their existence because they've claimed a piece of his heart that will remain theirs no matter what the future brings.

... but he does regret being so persistent in his efforts to persuade Zoro into trying for another baby.

If I'd known he'd get so sick. If I'd known he'd end up having to fight, having to use Asura. If I'd known he'd get hurt again, not just his body but-

Scars on the inside, he recalls telling Ace months ago. Scars with the scabs ripped off. Old, poorly healed wounds aching and bleeding anew.

He digs his fingernails against the Adam wood on either side of him.

If it hadn't been for that Marine jerk. If it hadn't been for the water. If I hadn't been half-conscious and less than useless. If I hadn't been SLEEPING when those guys got into the dock.

The list of variables which could've prevented their current situation is endless, but he keeps coming back to the fact that he wasn't there when his swordsman needed him. That he was sprawled in bed, happily dreaming about food and sex while Zoro was being held at sword-point by his own weapon and desperately searching for a way to protect Sabo, the twins and himself.

He still won't tell me exactly what they threatened to do.

"It didn't happen, so it doesn't matter," the older pirate had told him gruffly when he'd cautiously pressed for details. "And I don't want you regretting the choice you made."

The decision to free their captives, humans and fishmen alike, hadn't been easy, but Luffy honestly hadn't known what else to do with them. While the Marines might've been willing to bargain for their release, it would've meant putting his family and crew at risk once again during the contact required for such an exchange. And he hadn't wanted them on the ship longer than necessary either.

But he'd also been extremely hesitant to order their execution.

It's something THEY'D do. What they probably WOULD have done to us if we hadn't gotten away, but even knowing that-

The idea of killing defenseless foes - even ones previously attempting to kill HIM - doesn't seem right. It's NEVER seemed right, and it's a line he'd prefer not to cross.

So he'd swallowed his anger and ordered the Straw Hat's sniper to produce a couple of those odd Midori Boshi rowboats, and together they and Sanji had unceremoniously tossed seven uniformed men and all five remaining fishmen into the crafts before shoving them off the portside. The Pirate King had personally shoved the Den Den Mushi confiscated earlier that morning into the front pocket of the most senior-looking but still badly shaken Marine and addressed them all with a warning: don't ever let me see your faces again, and stay the hell away from my family and my crew and my ship.

Then they'd raised the Sunny's sails and fled the area, leaving their former captives to their own devices.

His nakama hadn't questioned the decision, and Zoro had merely stared at him in silence for a few moments before sighing and nodding in agreement, the worst of his tension slipping away with the knowledge that their enemies were no longer onboard.

"Why?" Ace had asked his dark-haired father later, his tone not angry but curious. "Why not just let Dad do it, if you didn't want to kill them yourself? He hates Marines, and those other guys- the fishmen working for the Marines- they tried to hurt him too. And he did kill some of them anyway. A bunch of them, actually. I- I saw him do it. Some of it."

"I didn't wanna see any more blood," the captain had admitted quietly after a long silence. "And I don't think Zoro did either. Fighting somebody and beating 'em... that's different than cutting 'em into pieces or- or cutting their heads off or whatever. He doesn't like doing stuff like that unless he doesn't have a choice."

And he REALLY doesn't like doing it in front of you and Sabo.

"Well, then what if you just found some other way to do it, so there wasn't any blood?"

There'd been an even longer pause before he'd eventually said, "... no. I still would've done the same thing, 'cause… it wasn't the blood that bothered me. Not really."

"…"

Looking down into the eight-year-old's upturned face, he'd found himself searching for the right words. "Enough people died without us killing a bunch more just 'cause they were there. And besides… maybe some- maybe even a lot of those guys were only there 'cause their captains said they hadda be. Maybe they didn't really wanna come after us and they didn't really wanna fight, but they did 'cause they didn't get a choice- it got made for them."

"You make them sound like- like they're not bad, they're just... I don't know. Regular people."

Recalling his son's surprised and somewhat bewildered expression, he knows Ace was right.

Because there's fishmen like Oolong and Hokey and those two guys Zoro killed, but there's fishmen like Jinbei too. And it's the same way with pirates. And Marines. There's ones like that officer, but there's also people like Coby and Smokey. And like Grandpa too, I guess.

He's always held the perspective that neither side's better than the other, and also that choosing one is merely a matter of personal preference, although it's become a somewhat difficult view to maintain when the Marines are either directly or indirectly responsible for so much of the physical and emotional trauma he and his crew have survived over the years.

But the men he'd found nervously awaiting their fates on the wet grass of the Sunny's lawn deck when he'd exited the men's quarters? He hadn't recognized a single face, and as he'd stared them down one-by-one, wanting nothing more than to fling the entire lot overboard and watch them try to swim with their wrists and ankles tied for having the audacity to threaten his family and crew, he'd also found himself wondering-

I couldn't stop thinking about Zoro and the kids waiting for me inside and wondering who those guys had waiting for them.

xxx

In the end, he's got too much nervous energy to keep sitting there thinking about what he could've or possibly should've done differently, so he wanders off to the dining hall, where he finds the lamps still burning despite the late hour and Sanji and Chopper seated at the table, discussing their dwindling food supply.

The cook eyes Luffy warily as he drops into the empty chair across from them. "Don't even ask-"

"I wasn't gonna," he insists, casting one last longing glance towards the fridge and then slumping forward to rest his chin on his arms.

"Chopper and I were discussing rationing," Sanji informs him grimly. "We're running really low on a lot of essentials, but with the ship out of fuel, it's too risky to make a supply run; according to Nami-san, there's Marines stationed on every goddamn shitty island within log pose range."

The captain straightens, opening his mouth to protest, but the blond raises a hand. "Oi, hear me out, alright? It's just a precaution, in case something happens and we can't meet up with Law like we planned. And Marimo and the kids wouldn't be subject to full rationing anyway, so don't start yelling about how they're gonna starve."

"NOBODY'S going to starve," the doctor adds quickly. "I've calculated the average number of daily calories required by each of us, given a number of variables, and like Sanji says, it's only a precaution."

"I know Usopp's been fishing every day and getting Jinbei and Franky to help him, but there's never a guarantee they'll catch something. Not to mention-"

Zoro can't even look at seafood right now without puking. And even if Sanji mixes it with other stuff or tries to make it look like something else… he can still smell it.

Fidgeting in his seat, Luffy tries to think of a good argument against their reasoning – more because agreeing to what they're proposing means openly acknowledging just how much trouble the crew's in than because he's worried about his own stomach, although that's certainly a consideration too – but he's forced to conclude they're right. With the Sunny maintaining total broadcast silence and playing a constant game of sea king and tuna with passing vessels, they've no way of knowing how long it's going to take the surgeon's submarine to reach them, especially if the Heart Pirates encounter any difficulties obtaining the supplies their captain's agreed to deliver.

His crewmates are looking at him expectantly, waiting for orders.

"Okay. Okay, let's do it. As long as-"

"Luffy, I promise, I'll make sure the kids have enough to eat. The shitty swordsman too, even though he hasn't been too interested in food lately." Sanji's right hand, resting on the tabletop, clenches into a fist. "I hate doing this, and I never would've mentioned it to Chopper if I didn't think- ... I'd rather be safe than sorry. You know that."

The cook's thinking of a shipwreck, of the sun beating down on a lifeless stony plateau endlessly battered by waves and slowly crumbling into the sea. Luffy can see it in his face. "Yeah. I do. It's okay."

xxx

As it turns out, Sanji's not the only one being tormented by old memories that evening; Zoro, who's miraculously fallen asleep despite his constant coughing, jolts awake kicking and thrashing in sweat-drenched sheets during the middle of the night, startling not just the captain and their children but also rousing the occupants of the men's quarters and bringing both Chopper and the skeletal musician whose watch has just ended running.

Uncertain what prompted his swordsman's terror-stricken shout of denial and not wanting to cause further panic if it's one of THOSE dreams, Luffy tries to keep his distance at first - not an easy feat given the narrow bed they're sharing - but he's dragged unexpectedly into the groggy man's embrace and squeezed so tightly that he's starting to have difficulty breathing before the rigid arms around him begin to loosen slightly and only very reluctantly.

Polite tapping and concerned inquiries give way to loud knocking and demands to know why he's not answering, and he's finally forced to send Ace to unlock the door because his first mate refuses to release him and he's a little afraid what might happen if their nakama panic and resort to breaking it down. Even with all three katana safely out of reach, leaning against the wall beside the closet, and his movements turned clumsy by the twins' accelerated growth during the past week, the green-haired pirate's still liable to knock someone's teeth out with a swinging fist or worse if he thinks they're being attacked.

"Zoro. Zoro, you gotta wake up. Whatever you were dreaming, it's not real."

Zoro tenses at the sound of his voice yet doesn't seem to comprehend what he's saying. Trembling hands are roaming his body, touching him all over, but there's nothing sexual in it- and everything desperate. He's still half asleep himself and badly confused, but eventually he realizes that one shaking hand keeps returning to his chest and splaying over his heart, as though seeking assurance that it's still beating.

When Chopper, who's entered in Heavy Point, tries to untangle them to better assess his patient's condition, the older pirate fights him, making incoherent noises and grappling with the reindeer so violently that only Luffy's firm grip on the bedframe keeps everyone from ending up on the floor.

"Leggo!" The captain protests, wincing as a book tumbles off the shelf above the headboard and bounces off his face. "Give him a couple minutes!"

"He's right, Chopper-san." Having followed the doctor inside, Brook's hovering at his shoulder, touching it tentatively with bony fingers. "If you give Zoro-san a chance to wake up completely, I'm sure he'll be a great deal more cooperative."

"Oi, somebody get the light? It's really dark in- ah, thanks, Ace." Blinking against the lamp's glow, which is much brighter than the cloud-shrouded moon streaming dimly through the porthole window, Luffy peers at the swordsman clutching him and cautiously releases the bedpost to rub soothing circles on his back and shoulders. "Oi, it's okay. I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"S-Sencho?" A massive shudder ripples through Zoro's body. "I- god. GOD. I was dreaming, wasn't I? You're-"

He seizes the younger pirate's jaw, tilting his chin up to stare intently at his exposed neck, all the air rushing out of him in a wordless noise of relief at the sight of clean unmarked skin, and this time when the doctor reaches out to touch him, murmuring a word of warning, he allows it. "Dreaming. I was just- thank fucking god."

"Fuh," Sabo echoes quietly from where he's standing in his crib, gripping the railing and watching anxiously, and although no one directly reprimands him, too distracted to catch what he's actually saying, Brook raises a finger to his lipless mouth in a shushing gesture.

"I'm- I'm okay," the first mate's insisting as Chopper checks his pulse and runs both hands carefully up and down his belly, nudging Luffy aside to gain more room. "I was dreaming about the goddamn h-hallway again, only-"

He retches, chest and stomach heaving, and there's a mad scramble to get the waste basket within range.

To everyone's mixed relief and concern, he avoids throwing up on the bed, but his overactive gag reflex triggers a coughing fit that leaves him curled on his side, panting and struggling to clear his throat and flinching as he's kicked repeatedly in the ribs.

"Chopper, can't you give him something?" The captain asks helplessly, petting his swordsman's quivering side. "To make him stop doing that?"

"Other than this, not really..." Keeping a firm grip on the half-full water glass he's retrieved from the sink beside the door, the reindeer helps Zoro ease into an upright position and coaxes him into taking small sips until the congested wheeze in his breathing abates. "Whatever I gave him would pass straight through the umbilical cords to the twins, and right now we don't want to stress their systems any more than necessary."

"Yeah, but aren't they getting stressed out every time he starts hacking like he's gonna spit up a lung?" Luffy argues, cradling the curve that's rippling steadily beneath his hand. "Look, they're kicking the crap out of him! They don't like it when he starts coughing, and they're not letting him sleep, and didn't you say he's gonna just keep getting more stressed out if he doesn't? And when he's upset, they get upset too, and that just makes him more-"

There's a low whine from the crib wedged next to the table and chairs at the room's center, and the rubber man points towards it. "Listen to Sabo- he knows it too! He's been fussing like that since the day before yesterday 'cause he knows something's not right."

Sighing, Chopper massages his temples, thinking. "Alright, you have a point. I've- I've got something I might be able to give him. In the infirmary. But I need to double-check my records first, to make sure it's safe, and if I see anything that concerns me-"

"Okay, just- at least go check? He's had like... maybe an hour of sleep in the past couple of days."

"An hour?" Zoro coughs, grimacing, and tilts the waste basket he's clutching so he can spit forcefully into it. "Felt more like I was out for five minutes. My freaking head's killing me."

Dropping the can onto the carpet beside the bed, he slumps back onto the pillow with a groan. "Ungh, I feel like I could just curl up and-"

"NO," Luffy snaps, loudly enough to make everyone - including himself - jump. "No. Chopper's gonna find you something that'll make you stop coughing and you're gonna take it and you're NOT gonna throw it back up, and then you're gonna sleep and when you wake up again, you're gonna feel better."

"I-" His swordsman's staring at him warily, not exactly cowed but definitely not willing to argue. "Okay."

Brook, observing their exchange, reaches out to tap Chopper's shoulder. "Perhaps you wouldn't mind making a brief detour to the men's quarters as well, while I keep our nakama and their children company?"

"I wasn't serious," the first mate murmurs softly, still staring up at his frowning spouse while their crewmates step away for a brief discussion of their own. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, but-" Luffy's brow furrows further as he touches the older pirate's cheek, traces the hollow of his throat. "Zoro shouldn't say stuff like that, even if he's joking, 'cause it's not-" He swallows, fingertip outlining the triangular-shaped portion of bare skin visible within the kimono's overlapped folds, sliding over the ridge of collarbone and across a pectoral that's lost a little of its hard definition thanks to a lack of weight training. "-it's not funny."

"No, it's not. But maybe-" Zoro's gaze darts to where Ace is leaning over the crib railing to dangle a stuffed toy at Sabo in hopes of distracting him, and he lowers his voice. "Maybe you SHOULD start thinking about what you'd do, though. I mean, just in case-"

"There's nothing to think about, 'cause nothing's gonna happen."

"Sencho-"

"No." The captain's eyes flash, intense and unrelenting- but without the added sting of Haki. He's not going to make that mistake again, especially not now, when such a blunder might prove incredibly dangerous for his swordsman and their unborn children. "We're not talking about this. The peas are gonna be fine, and you're gonna be fine too. You're gonna be right there with me when we tell everybody whatever we decide to name 'em."

You're not gonna die- I won't let you. I'll reach into the dark and yank you back, if that's what it takes, but I'm not gonna let you go.

From the way the other man's face softens, he knows Zoro can read his thoughts in his eyes, even though he hasn't spoken them aloud, but before his first mate can respond, Chopper's bustling back into the room with a flask clutched in one hand- and Brook's violin case in the other.

"The only- the ONLY reason I can give you this remedy is because you're in the third trimester. Most of the twins' major development is complete, and now we're really just waiting for them to put on more weight and for their lungs to mature. But if it was any earlier in your pregnancy, especially during the first few weeks-" The doctor warns as he passes the instrument to the skeleton and takes a seat on the bed's edge. "This should suppress your cough and make you more comfortable, but even if you vomit, I won't be able to give you another dose for six hours. And not at all if I start seeing signs of fetal distress, although it's unlikely."

"… you're sure-?"

"C'mon, Zoro. You know Chopper's not gonna give you something that's gonna hurt you. Or the peas."

Ace is enthusiastically nodding his agreement. "Dad, just take it."

"… it looks like- okay, okay! Quit fricking glaring at me and keep your damn fingers crossed."

The liquid's dark, almost black in color, with a disgustingly syrupy consistency, and the swordsman's shoulders begin to hitch the moment he finishes emptying the phial.

The reindeer tenses, waste basket at the ready once more, but Luffy disregards the strong probability of finding himself covered in regurgitated medication and takes his partner's face between his hands, leaning close to lock their gazes. "Zoro's not gonna throw up. He promised."

Inhaling deeply through his nose, Zoro stifles a watery-sounding hiccup and his complexion pales, but when he clears his throat experimentally, everything stays down. He doesn't quite dare to talk yet or even open his mouth, although he gives a hesitant nod.

"I'm staying for an hour or two, to make sure there's no negative side effects," Chopper warns them, discarding the used container in the sink before he reverts to his normal form and crosses the room to take a seat opposite Brook, who's producing rich but scattered notes as he tunes the violin he's lifted from its case.

"Are you gonna play something?" Ace asks curiously.

"I thought- perhaps some music might help? Chopper-san says the twins can hear our voices, so it seemed to me that my playing might calm them and help Zoro-san sleep." The musician tilts his head inquiringly. "With your permission, of course?"

"Let's try it," the captain says immediately. "Zoro, lay down."

Clearly eager for the opportunity to finally get some well-needed rest and too tired to protest being ordered about, the green-haired pirate complies, shifting gingerly until he's sprawled on his right side with his belly nestled against the mattress.

Luffy snuggles along his back, one hand slipping over his side to tuck the sheets around him and smooth the silky material of the kimono belted loosely beneath his heavily rounded middle.

"Da-dee gababa," Sabo announces to the room at large, tugs the toy from his older brother's grip and promptly burrows into one corner of the crib with it, legs tucked under him and rump hoisted in the air so he resembles a turtle.

Mystified, Zoro rolls awkwardly onto his opposite side to face his captain. "What'd he just say?"

"I think- I think he said Zoro's a good boy." Struggling not to laugh, the rubber man presses forward to plant a kiss on his nose. "See, I said he knew there was something wrong. And now he knows everything's gonna be okay, so he's going back to sleep."

"Hope you're right." The swordsman's mouth quirks. "Jeez, if he's showing signs of Kenbunshoku before he can even talk in complete sentences-"

"Yeah, it's kinda scary, isn't it?"

"Tell me about it. At least it's that, though, and not one of the other kinds. Kid packs enough of a wallop without adding Busoshoku or Haoshoku to the mix." He touches his abdomen, where the twins are lying between them, now quiet except for an occasional stirring. "Makes me wonder about these two. Especially the one that takes after you a little too much and keeps trying to smash holes through my ribcage..."

Luffy's eyes wander down to study his belly, narrowing slightly in concentration. After a moment, he raises his gaze, shrugging. "I dunno. Maybe it's 'cause there's more than one of 'em, plus they're still inside you, but they're really hard to read. And Ray-san says everybody's got the potential for it anyway. They just don't always know it's there or how to use it."

"Mmm."

They're silent for several long minutes, and the younger pirate's gratified to see that Zoro's beginning to show signs of intense drowsiness now that he's no longer coughing and getting endlessly pummeled by restless fists and feet. His first mate's eye is drifting further closed with each strain of music emerging beneath Brook's talented fingers, and although his sword's still safely sheathed, the skeleton must be employing a little of the skill he uses while performing his Nemuriuta Flanc, because Ace and Sabo have already fallen asleep, Chopper's nodding in his chair, and the captain's coming close to dozing himself.

But just when he's contemplating reaching for the lamp-

"Sencho-" So low it's nearly a whisper. "There's something I need you to-" The swordsman's half-lidded eye shuts completely, then blinks back open as he struggles to remain conscious. "-something you gotta swear you'll do for me."

"Something I gotta swear I'll do?" Luffy asks softly, combing his fingers through spiky green hair and smiling sleepily, because while he's almost positive he's prepared to do whatever Zoro wants without resorting to vows, he's certainly willing to humor him.

If he says he wants me to bring him cheese or something tomorrow morning, I'm gonna laugh.

"Yeah." Voice sluggish, now barely audible over the violin. "Ever since that other morning… I've been thinking a lot about Asura and- and what could've happened if…" Cursing faintly at his inability to stay awake. "And- after what I dreamed tonight, I need you to promise me something."

Smile slipping from his face, the captain feels a knot of unease twisting unexpectedly inside his gut.

Whatever he's gonna say, I'm not sure I wanna-

"I dreamed about the hallway, only it was all wrong. She was there, and I got her first this time- but when I rolled her over to-" There's a hand knotted in his shirt, clenched tight on the fabric to make sure he's listening. "It wasn't her. It was you, and the fishmen- well, they weren't fishmen anymore either. Not all of them." The swordsman's losing coherency fast but there's still a glimmer of trepidation visible in his barely open eye. "Promise me- promise me that you won't hold back if I ever- if I ever summon Asura and lose control and try to-"

No. No, don't ask me to do this.

"... don't let me hurt anybody."

"I won't let Zoro hurt anybody-" He can feel his heart breaking at the immediate relief and gratitude surfacing in the other man's weary face. "- but it's not gonna come to that."

"Luffy-"

"Shhh. We're gonna talk about it, but we're gonna do it tomorrow, when you're not falling asleep and coming up with really dumb ideas."