Sorry I was so late getting this chapter up. The real world called and I was super busy. I hate it when that happens cause I am generally a lazy person ;) Anyway, there is a point to this chapter so I hope none of you get too upset about it. I promise, it is heading somewhere. I hope you don't hate the chapter! Thank you for reading and reviewing! And have a safe Friday!

Ugly Reunion

Chapter Twenty One

Daryl pulled in behind Glenn and shot a narrow eyed look at the house. He had a little time to think on the ride over and he realized that he was a jealous freak. And he didn't give a shit. If he had too he would act just like Merle. If she wanted to go see Ed then that was fine by him but he wouldn't be there when she got back. As petty and stupid as it sounded, that was the conclusion he had reached on the way over. It was his anger doing the thinking for him, he knew it, but at the moment it didn't matter. That was what he was going to lay out for her.

He got out of the truck and wordlessly followed Glenn into the house. All was quiet but he figured that she would be in the kitchen. Sure enough when he walked in she was there. He was about to launch into his already scripted tirade about how fucking stupid she was for even thinking that he would be okay with her going off on her own and meeting with the man that had beaten her half senseless throughout their whole marriage. But looking at her now all of that anger turned to vapors inside of him. She was more pale than usual, her blue eyes wide and even from where he stood he could tell that she was shaking.

"I'm gonna go ahead and go on to work now. You guys catch me up on what's going on later," Glenn said from behind him. It was clear in his tone that he was more eager to get away from Daryl than he was to actually learn what was up with Carol.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked, unable to stay in the doorway any longer. That look on her face scared the shit out of him.

"We aren't gonna have enough time," she said miserably as she wiped a stray tear away. "I thought we would but we won't." She leaned into the counter and looked down at the floor.

"What the hell do you mean, we ain't got time? Sure we have time," but he could tell something had happened that had made her change her mind.

"I had lunch with Amy and she told me that Andrea would be up here from Florida in three weeks. Three weeks is all we have. Remember? Andrea and Amy hadn't even had time to leave before the outbreak. They ran into Dale on the interstate and later found us. We only have three weeks and that isn't enough time to get everything we are going to need."

Her voice was broken. She had been so sure that they could all be saved and so sure that she could keep them all from living like they had lived in those fucking dreams. He didn't want to fight with her anymore. All the fight was gone from him. All he wanted to do was let her know that they would be alright. He closed the distance until there was barely a foot of space separating them. "Three weeks ain't as long as we thought we had but it's still more time than we woulda had otherwise. We can get this done."

She raised her eyes up to meet his but she shook her head. All that hope she had harbored was gone and it had him wanting to reach out to her, but he stayed still, hands at his sides. "Daryl, we can't find them all in just three weeks. We can't secure that farm and do everything that needs to be done. There isn't any time." She sounded so broken that it actually made his stomach hurt. Something occurred to him then.

"We ain't gotta go hunt them down. They're findin' us, alright? And if we get our asses in gear instead of standin' around cryin' about it then we can still do it. We made it a long time out there before and we didn't have a heads up about the walkers. We can do this."

"I lost my daughter. Rick lost Lori and he lost his mind. Carl lost himself. Hershel lost his leg. All of the ones that were killed, that can't happen. We have to keep that from happening."

"You can't play God Carol," he said in a rough voice. "You start focusin' on keepin' everybody else breathin' and you'll end up getting' yourself killed."

She finally looked up and met his eyes. "I sent Glenn because I didn't want to ruin any progress you've made with Merle. He doesn't know I sent him, right?"

He frowned. "Didn't make no progress. He's still in denial and I told him I was comin' here. Ain't no need in me tryin'. He ain't gonna come around. He's gotta see it for himself." This bit of news made her look even more miserable and she looked pretty damn miserable to begin with.

"Everything is turning to shit," she said with a sad shake of her head. She had had so much hope and he hated that she felt so defeated. And she said the word shit. She hardly ever cussed.

With a weary sigh he finally closed the distance between them, placing his hands on her hips and wondering what he could do to make her feel less defeated. It was true that they had much less time than they thought but it wasn't over. They still had some time. It was better than none at all.

"So, are you back for good or are you going to try to go back home?" She asked as her hands went to his shoulders.

He shrugged and then saw an opening to at least get her to crack a smile. "Looks like I best stick close since you don't even wait for a man to get all the way out the door before you move another one in," he frowned, remembering the exact reason he was so pissed off when he got here but not wanting to bring it up. Yet.

It worked. She smiled and then put her forehead on his chest. "Maybe if the man that left would have had the decency to call me then I wouldn't have been so eager to replace him with a Korean boy."

He scowled. "I was too busy spendin' your money and bondin' with Merle."

She lifted her head up and raised one eyebrow. "And what did you spend my money on?"

He shrugged again. "Told ya. I was bondin' with Merle."

"Meaning?"

He gave her a crooked grin. "Drugs and loose women."

She narrowed her eyes and fought back a smile. "Then I hope you caught the clap too."

He bit the inside of his lip to stop the laugh. He was caught a little off guard when she suddenly kissed him. This wasn't just a regular kiss either. This was a lot more than that. It came out of nowhere and his body reacted to that desperate kiss faster than his mind ever could. He trapped her body between himself and the counter, harder than necessary. Hard enough to hurt her for sure but he couldn't do anything about it. And she didn't do anything to make him want to stop either. Her arms wound around his neck and held him tighter, the kiss got deeper. This wasn't what he came here for but he wasn't about to stop. He tightened his grip and then lifted her until she was sitting on the counter. He yanked her closer and her legs locked around his waist.

She finally cupped his face with her hands and drew back. He gripped the edges of the counter and tried to calm down his thundering heart. "We need to talk. We have so much to do," she said breathlessly.

He nodded and then took a small step back so he wasn't pressed against her anymore. He agreed with her but kept his hands where they were. Her mentioning them needing to talk pretty much killed the mood but if she so much as touched him again his resolve would shatter. "Since you're in the mood to chat, ya mind tellin' me what the fuck you think you're doin' meetin' up with Ed later?" That worked. He was pissed off again.

She had the decency to avert her eyes and drop her arms from around his neck. "That's one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about."

Her tone of voice had him thinking the worst. This was where she would tell him that she had thought about it and she was willing to give the bastard another shot. His felt the muscles in his jaw clench as he ground his teeth together.

She didn't look up. "I haven't really talked to Sophia about it yet but I plan too. He's a lot of things but at the end of the day he's still her father and I can't..." she let her voice trail off.

"Spit it out," he growled, causing her to look up at him sharply.

"What am I suppose to do if Sophia thinks we should let him come with us? What if, after everything he's done, she can't find it in her heart to leave him to those things?"

"You sure you ain't worried about how you'd feel if you let him die?" he asked, refusing to break the stare.

The look that came over her face was a mixture of disgust and anger. "How can you even ask me that? Now? After everything we've been through, why would you think something so insane? I hate that man."

"Then cut his ass loose for good," he spat angrily.

"Daryl he's her..."

"He ain't shit to that little girl and you fuckin' know it," he nearly shouted in her face before he shoved himself away from the counter. "You need to think real hard about who this is about. You sure you ain't the one that's afraid to feel guilty? Cause if it is you, you got a whole lot of shit you need to sort out before..."

She hopped down from the counter and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him angrily. "Don't stop there. Before what, exactly?"

"Nothin'. Go ahead and have your little reunion if that'll help," he said in a low voice, disgust dripping from every word. He was pissed and he thought he had every damn right to be pissed. It wasn't that he was jealous... okay, maybe he was a little bit, but that wasn't all it was. Ed was a dangerous bastard and she knew it and it really did seem like she was the one that wasn't really ready to give up that old life.

"I can't believe you'd even say that!" She hissed.

"And I can't believe you'd be so stupid as to think I wouldn't say that," he yelled. "What the fuck am I suppose to say? Oh, go right on ahead and have a nice time with your husband. I'll be waitin' right here if you decide to come back tonight," he snorted, "You're a real piece of work, you know..." he closed his mouth then and inhaled sharply through his nose.

Fuck.

He needed to calm his ass down. He needed to let this go. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Keep going," she growled.

He took a step back as she took one towards him but the table was in his way and he had no where else to go. He had nearly used the exact same words on her that he had used that night she had came to his camp on the farm. The night she had officially lost Sophia. He had regretted everything he had said to her that night almost the moment he had said them. But as the words had tumbled out of his mouth, cutting away at her very will to live, he had felt justified. Now he just felt bad.

She stopped in front of him. "Don't censor yourself Daryl. Me and you both know that you aren't any good at that. I can take your accusations and I can take your crap. If you really think I'm so stupid that I would let that man worm his way back into my head then maybe me and you had this all wrong. Maybe all we are going to end up doing is hurting each other in the long run and losing the one thing we both had at the prison."

He scowled. "What?"

She stared at him and then shook her head angrily before trying to walk past him. Her words gave him that sinking feeling in his stomach. The one that he hated because it meant something really bad was coming. What could she have meant by that? He didn't let her go far. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back until her back was pressed against his chest.

"Tell me what the fuck you meant," he growled. He tightened his grip on her when she tried to struggle. He almost didn't want to know what she meant. Did she regret what they were becoming? Was she thinking that dealing with him was too hard and she needed to cut him loose now to save herself the heartache of doing it later. Later, when they would be stuck together no matter what. Maybe this was why the man in his dreams had never done a damn thing to let her know what she had meant to him. Maybe he had known that it would have changed things and inevitably turned their relationship to shit.

"Just forget it. Let me go," she said, voice still laced through with anger.

"Tell me and I will. Do you think we've fucked things up? Do you want me to go back home?" He didn't believe that at all and he didn't want to go back but he wasn't going to grovel and beg either. If she didn't want him then she sure as hell wouldn't be the first person and he could live with that. What he couldn't live with was always wondering. She needed to say her peace now.

She stopped struggling then, leaning into him instead of pulling away. He still didn't trust her enough to let go of the grip he had around her waist. "You really don't have the slightest clue how much you mean to me, do you? How much you've always meant to me," her voice was barely there.

He stiffened and then finally loosened his grip. Rejection and pain were two things he could deal with. He was equipped to deal with that. He had been trained from a very early age how to manage with that. But he wasn't equipped to deal with what she was saying.

"And that bothers you. I know it does," she went on in a sad voice that had him wanting to shove her away. He didn't though. He just kept himself very still, waiting. He didn't even know what the fuck he was waiting for but he waited anyway.

How fucked up did a man have to be to not know how to deal with someone telling them they cared? He was so fucked up.

"What I meant was, I'll take whatever part of you you're willing to give. But if being with you like this destroys everything, maybe, to me, it just isn't worth it." Her voice was soft now, sad and it made his chest ache. "No matter how much I want it. No matter how long I've always wanted it. I don't want to lose you over it. Not if it destroys what we had together then."

He was messing everything up and now he didn't know what to do to fix it. He didn't know what to say to fix it. He let her pull away but again, she didn't go far. She turned around and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I'm gonna go pick Sophia up. I know you don't understand but I'm still going to ask her what she wants. If she doesn't want him to come with us then I won't go tonight."

He met her eyes but kept his mouth shut. He felt ill.

"Will you be here when I get back?" she asked quietly.

He thought about that for a split second but then nodded. She took a deep breath and then gave him a sad smile before she turned around and left him standing there. He had really managed to fuck things up pretty good. He felt like everything the two of them had managed to build had just crumbled around him and he no idea how to put any of the pieces back together.

~H~

She had to keep blinking tears away just so she could see to drive. What had happened? She had no clue how things could have gone so horribly so quickly. She had been so stupid to think that she could have everything. A safe place, her group, him. So much was going very wrong very fast and she couldn't stop it.

He had made her so furious. Why didn't he understand how much she loved him? Why did something like this have to turn into a fight and why did it have to turn him into that unpredictable ass of a man? She was so afraid they had made a mistake. They had gotten along perfectly in the prison. He was her best friend and he knew his place in her life. He knew then how much he meant to her and then everything had gotten very confusing there towards the end. He had taken it upon himself to take things to the next level because he had been desperate to keep her with him. And they had picked up in this world right where they had left off in that other one and that had to have been a very stupid move.

She pulled over outside of a farmers market and looked at herself in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. She couldn't go pick her daughter up looking like such a mess. She didn't want to scare Sophia, for one, and for two, she didn't want to answer all the questions she knew that Rick and Lori would ask her.

She took a few minutes to compose herself. She thought about everything they had said to one another and still couldn't figure out exactly where it had all gone wrong. Maybe they weren't meant to be whatever it was they were. Maybe they really had messed things up by sleeping together. She hated to think like that. It wasn't just the physical part of them being together. She felt like a better person when she was with him. She felt different than she ever had before.

What the hell was she thinking? Of course things were going to be harder than they would be for anyone else. She realized then that it wasn't him and it wasn't really her either. It was fear. But what the hell was she afraid of and was she really going to let that fear keep her from the one thing that actually made her feel whole?

Jesus, they had really made a hell of a mess of things and she really wasn't sure what the hell to do to fix it. It was kind of like their very first fight and then she realized that she had never had one of those before. Not the way other couples did. A fight in her relationship had meant that she hadn't made dinner fast enough and so she ended up battered and bruised. He'd never even been in anything resembling an actual relationship before so of course something like this would feel like the world just ended for them both.

She almost wanted to laugh if she didn't feel so horrible for what she had said to him before she had left the house. As strange as it may seem this was extremely childish of both of them because when it came to things like this neither of them knew what the hell they were doing. And for her these feelings were so foreign and intense that it was easy to get scared and try to take a step back. God, she was the biggest moron on the planet.

She pulled away from the curb and made her way towards Rick and Lori's house . She would make it up to him somehow. And he was right. Ed was no good for Sophia and she needed to let him know that she had changed her mind. She wasn't even planning on calling the Ed. She was just going to stand him up. There wasn't anything that needed to be said between the two of them that hadn't already been said with fists and pain. He could rot in hell. She had better things to do than talk to him.

Things like fixing this mess with Daryl. Sophia would be fine. She was sure of it.