Bark Woof Bow-Wow and Arf the many ways of a dog talking. Of course this chapter is more of chance at revenge than a dog chapter. Okay this intro sucked I'm running out of ideas.

Iris was walking home from work until she heard someone call her phone.

"Hello?"

"Iris HELP I'm being attack by a demonic man eating hound!" Phoenix cried out.

"Feenie what is going on?"

"ACK that was my leg you stupid MUTT... Iris I'm going to hide in a tree if you see anyone waving for help in a tree it's probably me!"

"But Fe-

"Can't talk running from a demonic man eating hound! Love you and come save me!"

*Click*

Iris was confused and thought that Phoenix was just prank calling her. However as she walked home she could hear some faint dog barks. She wandered towards the sound and was surprised to see that Phoenix was stuck in a tree hiding from what he called a demonic man eating hound.

Phoenix then noticed Iris standing in the distance.

"Iris great you're here now call animal control! I dropped my phone running from the damn dog"

"Feenie you're overreacting why would this dog want to kill you?" Iris said trying to convince Phoenix.

"It's evil pure evil don't come any closer or it will kill you!"

"Oh please why would any domesticated dog attack me?" she asked.

Phoenix thought for a moment and a large grin came to his face.

"Well you are plump you'd make a great steak. Oh I got an idea you distract the dog while I run away and I'll get whatever is left of you!" Phoenix joked.

Iris busted into a blind rage throwing rocks at Phoenix with precious accuracy.

"OW! OW! OW! It was a joke cant you take a joke!?" Phoenix said trying to cover his face.

Iris was about to throw another stone at Phoenix but she saw a nearby.

"Hey Feenie look what I found!" she called waving the bone in the air.

"Great now throw it and I'll be saved!" phoenix cheered.

Iris then gave a grin of her own.

"Oh of course Feenie I'll throw this bone at the dog. Yeah no problem especially when you called me fat oh no I'm not angry at all" she said sarcastically.

Phoenix frowned. "Come on Iris you're not the one to hold a grudge right…?"

Iris simply waved the bone in the air taunting Phoenix.

"Ok what do you want!?"

"Oh so now you're being nice why weren't you nice like this before?" Iris asked tauntingly.

Phoenix sighed. "Look this is important I need to get away from that demonic hound!"

Iris started walking away swing the bone with her.

"OK OK I'll do what you want just please throw the bone!" Phoenix shouted.

Iris then turned around and gave a devilish smile.

"What are your demands?" Phoenix asked.

"That's easy. 1st don't call me fat, 2nd I want 5 hundred dollars-

"500 DOLLARS are you insane!?" Phoenix asked.

Iris then turned around and began to skip merrily.

Phoenix grumbled.

"300!" he demanded.

"400!" Iris replied.

"350!" take it or leave it!" Phoenix said sounding more serious. He wasn't going to give up his money even if it meant getting a few bite marks.

"Ok Deal" Last thing that I want is something we both want"

"Monkeys!?" Phoenix asked smiling.

Iris then threw the bone hitting phoenix in the face knocking him out of the tree.

Fortunately the demonic man eating dog didn't notice Phoenix fall and ran to the bone.

Phoenix then sprinted away while the dog was distracted.

"Ok here's your 350$ but ever don't blackmail me like that again!" Phoenix said trying to catch his breath.

"Funny my last request is that we wouldn't blackmail each other" she said giving of a smile. But if I were you I'd run now"

"Why?" Phoenix asked.

"Because I haven't forgiven you yet," she said smirking then gave a loud whistle which alerted the dog.

Phoenix quickly noticed ad started running.

"That's cold Iris that's cold!"

"I'll see you at home!" she said giving her devilish smile again. Apparently Iris has a bit of a dark side.

Ok that's a wrap! Also Iris is er… 14 weeks pregnant! That means she's about… 19 weeks away from the good day! Rewview!