A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, I present the greatest boss fight in the story. Except maybe Mewtwo, we'll have to wait and see.

––

Pikachu and Togetic entered the Boss Chamber and looked around nervously. The rocky island on which they were standing was covered in lava pools and surrounded by molten rock on all sides. There seemed to be no way out.

"I don't see Flareon anywhere," said Pikachu. "What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, but something tells me the story is going to be intentionally vague and never tell us," Togetic decided.

"Well, I'm not afraid of any dumb dragon!" Pikachu declared, striking some sort of ridiculous battle pose that was meant to look intimidating. "I have the ultimate attack! BRING IT ON!"

For a moment, nothing happened. Then suddenly, the entire room began to rumble and shake, and the lava around them began to boil. One of the pools in front of them seemed to grow hotter and hotter as flames began to shoot out of it.

Pikachu and Togetic gaped in horror as an enormous Charizard came exploding out from under the lava. It circled above their heads and emitted a deafening shriek.

"RUN AWAY!" screamed Pikachu.

"CARRY ME!" screamed Togetic, diving into his arms.

Pikachu ran frantically around the rock island as Charizard flew after him, roaring and blasting Flamethrowers at him.

"You have to actually fight it, Pikachu!" Togetic yelled at him.

"HOW THE HECK DO I DO THAT?"

"YOU FOOLS!" Charizard roared at them. "YOU LET MY DINNER ESCAPE! NOW I'M HUNGRY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN I'M HUNGRY?"

"Not eat things?" Pikachu asked hopefully.

"KILL THINGS, THEN EAT THINGS!"

Charizard used Rock Slide! It soared high up into the air and caused an avalanche of boulders to come crashing down all around the hapless heroes.

"We'll never hit it from up there!" Togetic cried as they frantically jumped around to evade the falling rocks. "You have to goad it down here somehow!"

"You mean you goad it down here somehow!" Pikachu shouted. "You're the flying one and stuff!"

"HELL NO! YOU'RE NOT DRAGGING ME INTO THIS!"

Pikachu grabbed Togetic and hurled her directly up at Charizard. It stopped what it was doing and glared at her, and she started sweating profusely.

"Uh… CHARIZARDS SUCK! EVERYBODY KNOWS TYPHLOSION IS BETTER!"

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Charizard raged, chasing the screaming Togetic down to the ground and blasting flames at her.

"DO SOMETHING, PIKACHU!"

"Huh?" Pikachu pulled his finger out of his nose and snapped to attention. "Oh, right!"

Pikachu used Metal Claw! In an inexplicable display of badassery, he jumped onto Charizard's head as it flew by and bashed his fist directly into its skull.

"AAAARGH!" the dragon bellowed in pain. "WHY ON EARTH DID I KEEP THE ONLY WEAPON POWERFUL ENOUGH TO DEFEAT ME HERE IN THIS DUNGEON?"

"That was pretty stupid of you," Togetic noted.

"SHUT IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Charizard roared, swiping Pikachu off its head and sending him flying across the floor, where he lay stunned.

"Pikachu! Get up, you fat idiot!" Togetic cried in alarm.

"Urgh… my flying carrots have gone rabid and are after my cheese puffs… AARDVARK!" Pikachu slurred deliriously.

"Oh, great," Togetic groaned. "Now what do we do? There's nobody left to fight!"

She looked at herself. "Wait…"

"AND NOW TO EAT YOU! I COULD USE A LITTLE FAT IN MY DIET!" Charizard declared. He was just about to swallow Pikachu whole when suddenly, Togetic flew up from out of nowhere and headbutted him in the stomach.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL? WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THAT IDIOT?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Togetic screamed.

Charizard started spewing a volley of Flamethrowers at Togetic, but she dodged every one of them. Finally she whipped around and used Aerial Ace, slamming into the massive dragon again and again. It was unable to do anything other than roar in fury.

"Hot damn!" she cheered. "I'm awesome! I get to be a hero too! I – "

Charizard used Blast Burn! Togetic was directly hit!

"T-MONEY!" Pikachu cried as the burned and blackened Togetic plummeted directly to the ground.

"HA HA HA!" Charizard laughed triumphantly. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS STORY SUDDENLY GOT SO SERIOUS, BUT IT'S AWESOME!"

Pikachu was filled with rage. "You bastard! You can't go around frying people who aren't automatically guaranteed to live by the power of plot protection! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

Charizard gave him a weird look. "YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Pikachu shrieked in fury, charging directly at Charizard and swinging his fists, striking it repeatedly in the head.

Pikachu used Metal Claw! It's super effective… somehow!

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Charizard howled in an overly dramatic fashion. It writhed in pain and then launched itself up into the air, where it twisted and flailed before finally catching fire. It burned up in midair and its charred skeleton came crashing to the ground.

"T-moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Pikachu cried once everything had fallen still. He raced over to where Togetic was lying on the ground, picked her up and started sniffling.

"Please don't die, Togetic," he whimpered. "What am I going to do if I don't have your sarcasm and physical abuse to guide me? Hell, I can't even remember what I'm supposed to do next! YOU CAN'T DIE!"

When Togetic didn't respond, Pikachu threw his head back and wailed, which actually would have been very cute if it hadn't been so sad. After he had been crying for several moments, he suddenly felt something moving in his grasp. He gasped and looked down in time to see Togetic blinking her eyes open.

"Uh… what are you doing, Pikachu?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Pikachu cried in joy, hugging her uncomfortably tightly.

"Ow," Togetic grumbled, blushing a little. "Please let me go. I hate you."

"I HATE YOU TOO!" Pikachu sobbed happily.

He refused to let go of Togetic as he pranced into the Shining Blue Portal, where they were enveloped in a blaze of light.

––

Down in Kakariko Village, everybody was meandering around and doing whatever things people normally do when they're ruled by an evil psychic cat, when suddenly there came an enormous eruption from Death Mountain. Everyone panicked and looked up at the fiery volcano, and were shocked to see the evil glowy cloud around it being sucked away. With a shimmer of purple, it vanished up and out of sight and the sky became blue and peaceful once again.

"Holy Suicune! The evil cloud thingy's gone!" gawked the Sentret guard. "There's only one possible explanation for this!"

"ALIENS!" shrieked a random Zigzagoon.

"ALIENS?" cried everyone else, and within seconds Kakariko was thrown into chaos as everyone ran around flailing their arms and screaming.

––

When the lighted faded around Pikachu and Togetic, they saw they were back in the Chamber of Sages once again.

"Oooh, I wonder who the Fire Sage is!" Pikachu said excitedly.

"I have no idea," Togetic muttered.

Suddenly the red platform across from them started to glow, and to absolutely nobody's surprise, Flareon appeared.

"Hello there, Pikachu, my sworn brother!" he said proudly. "I knew I was wise to put my faith in you! I never doubted you would slay that horrible dragon and save my people!"

Togetic looked surprised. "You didn't? You do know he's an idiot, right?"

"Yes, but he's the hero of this story, so he has no choice," Flareon reminded her. "Now Pikachu, as the Sage of Fire I must remain here in the Chamber of Sages, mostly because I have no idea how the hell to get out of here."

"Huh? Aren't you worried about your kid? And like, the rest of the Fire-types who don't have a leader now?"

"Not particularly. Anyway, take this dealy with you, because it helps you for some reason," said Flareon, raising up his arms. With a flash, a small red medallion suddenly appeared in the air between them.

Pikachu received the Flame Plate! Flareon adds his power to Pikachu's, but considering how many times Pikachu nearly got his ass killed, I'm starting to wonder whether it's really worth it!

"Now you and I are true brothers… although I still don't really know what that means…"