Chapter 19: Into the Wood
"I see you found some of your namesakes." Celandine was startled out of her thoughts when her father knelt down beside her in Beorn's garden. Papa reached forward and plucked one of the yellow flowers. "It's strange. They always seem to glow out in the sunlight, but whenever I put a couple in a vase, they wilt almost overnight. I can't seem to figure out how you stayed with me after all these years when they didn't want anything to do with me." The Elven girl smiled, but didn't sign anything. "Now, care to tell me what's the matter? You seemed upset when we mentioned the Goblins."
She didn't know what to say at first. It was all too…too much to even think about. All that came to her mind was the blood, the screams, the sickening crack she heard when she-.
Celandine hadn't realized she was shaking until Papa reached out a hand to steady her. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it right now. Take your time."
No. She had to get this of her chest. She pulled her hands away and began signing what she could. '…When we were down there…something happened.'
"They said you were fighting."
'Yes, but…it felt so wrong and so…right.'
"What do you mean?"
How to describe it? 'It felt…natural. I was telling myself to do something before I even knew what that was. It was all just one fluid motion. I became a completely different person.' There were tears in her eyes. 'Everyone kept saying that I was incredible, but…after everything calmed down, I couldn't stop thinking about what I- what that other Celandine did. There was so much blood, so many screams. Even the Goblin King was scared before I….' The Elven girl couldn't finish. She was suddenly sick to her stomach and was shaking all over again. 'Galadriel said to trust my instincts, but if they make me into that THING…. I don't want to be an Elf anymore.'
Papa hushed her, embracing her. "Shhh, it's alright now, it's all over." But it wasn't alright. She was sobbing now, face buried into her father's shoulder. She had killed them. She'd driven a knife through a living being's head and hadn't felt a thing until it was all over and done. And no one could tell her why.
"I'm not sure what to tell you, Celandine. There's much about you that I don't understand myself, but I can say this. You were in danger and you reacted. If you hadn't done it, you may not be here now."
The Elven girl paused in her weeping. She hadn't thought of that.
"In fact, Gandalf made it quite clear that if it wasn't for you, you all may not have made it out of the Tunnels. You may have very well saved their lives. No one can begrudge you for that." Papa suddenly pulled away, taking the yellow flower he'd plucked and placing it behind her ear. "Don't think of it as killing strangers, but rather…saving and protecting those you care about."
She nodded her understanding.
"I think you can feel especially glad that you saved Kili in particular."
A mortified blush spread across her face. 'Papa-.'
"What? You think I wasn't going to notice you had the springtime saunters for him? Besides, Thorin already filled me in on your little conversation the other morning."
The blush somehow grew.
"Oh don't you worry, I'm not going to keep you two apart forever. I'll just do so until we get that Mountain back then nag you about it for the rest of my days."
Celandine couldn't help her silent laugh. 'That's bold of you to say, Papa, after that hug on the Carrock.'
Now it was his turn to go red in the face. "It was just a hug between friends! Nothing more!
'Not yet.'
"Why you-!"
'Not that anyone can begrudge you. Mr. Thorin is, oh how to put it…easy on the eyes.'
"Finding someone physically attractive is far from actual love!"
'But it helps, doesn't it?'
"That's it! The second that dragon is dead, you are grounded, you hear me? GROUNDED!" She couldn't really take the threat seriously when they were both laughing.
But then there was the voices.
Celandine shook the memory from her head the second it turned sour. It would do her no good to dwell on things like ominous voices from pockets. In this place, she needed to keep positive, focused, calm. She needed to keep a tight hold on her sanity. For the sake of those who had already lost it.
It was difficult to say how long they'd spent trudging through Mirkwood. The entire landscape was devoid of sunlight and held a faint gloom no matter what time of day it was. Instead, she had to measure that time by how fast her chopped hair was growing back. After it was cut, they'd spent two weeks in the Misty Mountains on the run from the Orc pack, then another two weeks at Beorn's home. In that time, her hair had gained back half an inch about, reaching halfway between her shoulders and chin. Using those mental calculations, it had been ten days since the Company first entered Mirkwood.
And those ten days had been absolute hell.
The forest itself seemed sick, corrupted. Everything was shaded in a sickly grey and covered in webs. As stated previously, the sun refused to shine through the canopy of decaying leaves. The wind had also refused to blow through the trees, leaving the air stagnant and suffocating. There was no birdsong, no rustling of leaves, nor any scampering of creatures. The only sound she could hear for miles was the footsteps and shallow breaths of her fellow Company members. The stillness and silence of the Wood was getting to all of them; even the Dwarves, who were accustomed to living in their halls of stone, were perturbed by their setting. Gandalf had said that the forest would play tricks on their minds and try to lead them astray. However, the Elven girl had yet to suffer from any such illusions (or so she hoped, thinking back to the eyes that'd be watching them when they went to sleep).
No, that fate fell upon Papa and the Dwarves instead. They woozily stumbled forward and their stares had grown cloudy and vacant. Several claimed to hear music and laughter off in the distance and tried to run off the path. Others began to shoot or swing at prey that wasn't there. Even Papa, who had held out longer than the others, succumbed and soon began to ramble about his strange visions. For some unknown reason, the Elven girl was the only one to hold onto some scrap of sanity in here (she chalked it up to those dreaded instincts of hers). Therefore, she had taken it upon herself to see them all through this forsaken place. For the past few days she'd been actively fulfilling that self appointed duty; she'd keep everyone moving single file down the Elven Road, she'd take the least amount of food and water when rations were offered, and she'd stay awake during those resting periods so those damned eyes wouldn't think of coming closer. These tasks had taken their toll on her and overall she was in the worst shape of the Company, but she was determined to see them all through.
Celandine was shaken from her thoughts when they met an obstacle. They'd come across a broken stone bridge spanning over a stagnant pool. The mystery body of water seemed like a river as it spanned off into the distance, but the water itself, a disgusting black color, sat unmoving. The gap in the bridge was too wide for a Dwarf or Hobbit to leap across, and something told her that they shouldn't try to swim or wade through the water. They also couldn't leave the path and walk around, as she didn't know how far the water stretched. Looking around as the Company began to argue, she saw a boat tied off on the opposite bank and had an idea. She turned and gave three loud claps. The Company seemed startled by the noise, but immediately brought themselves to attention.
'I want you all to stay right here and not move a muscle. I'm going to get something to cross the river with. Whatever you all do, do NOT touch or even go near the water until I say so.'
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Mr. Thorin asked, almost absentmindedly.
"Not at the-…actually, does anyone have any rope?' She was soon handed a long, coarse chord by Bifur. Checking one last time to make sure they'd stay put, the Elven girl took a running start and leapt across the broken bridge. She soon found the boat where she'd seen it; she untied it and lead it as close to the bridge (therefore the path) as possible. After that, she took up her bow, tied one end of the rope to one of her arrows, and fired it low into a tree on the other bank. Testing the rope's security and finding it satisfactory, she secured the other end to another tree. Seeing that the rope still held, Celandine pushed the boat into the water and climbed in, careful to not touch the water. Finally, seeing that everything was secure, she grasped the low hanging rope and dragged herself and the boat to the other bank. The distance from each shore was only about three or four yards, but the Elven girl's heart was racing the entire time. When she was safe on the other side, she clapped again and beckoned the Company towards her. 'Each of you will cross two at a time with me. Mr. Thorin, Papa, you'll come first and Bombur, Bofur, you'll be last.'
"I'm tired of being last," the robust Dwarf grumbled. "It's someone else's turn to be last!"
'I'm sorry, but that's how it's going to be. Everyone else, partner up.' And that was that. Celandine helped her father and the Company's leader into the boat and pulled all three of them across.
"Spoken like a leader," she heard Papa mumble. "My baby girl's growing up." That was the first time she'd smiled since they'd entered Mirkwood. It was nice to see her father had enough wits about him to make her smile.
Once they reached the other side, Mr. Thorin helped the Hobbit out of the boat and the Elven girl was left to cross back to the other bank. And so it went with the rest of the Company, who all came over in pairs: Fili and Kili (of course), Dori and Ori, Nori and Dwalin (the balding Dwarf said something about "keeping an eye on the thief"), Balin and Oin, Gloin and Bifur, the finally Bofur and Bombur. However, the incident occurred when they had just reached the opposite bank. Bombur placed one foot in the water as he stepped off the boat and he immediately began to wobble. Before Celandine could do anything, the rotund Dwarf fell backwards into the water. She and Bofur managed to drag him out by his other foot, but the damage had already been done. When they laid him out on the shore, Bombur was fast asleep and nothing they did could rouse him.
Seeing how their cook wasn't waking anytime soon (the smug bastard had the gall to be smiling in his sleep), they made camp on the eastern side of the bridge. Celandine was about to begin her night long vigil when she felt a head on her shoulder. Papa was propped up against her, eyes clouded and staring at nothing. "I saw a stag."
'Really now?' There was no stag, but she'd long since given up on telling any of them what was real and what was illusion.
"When you were bringing Bofur and Bombur over. It's fur was so bright, like a star. Thorin shot at it and it ran away. Right after that, Bombur fell in."
'I see.' Her eyelids were growing heavy.
"He shouldn't have done that. Thorin, I mean. It's bad luck."
'Papa…in here…I think we have to make our own luck.' With that, the Elven girl allowed herself to sleep for the first time in days.
Two things happened on the morning of the 14th day.
First of all, Bombur woke up. He whined and complained about being roused from his dream, then it seemed he'd forgotten absolutely everything that transpired since the party at Bag End all that time ago. Let it be said that it was an absolute pain to recount their journey up to that point and prove to the rotund Dwarf that said events actually happened.
Secondly, they lost the Elven Road.
Celandine couldn't for the life if her figure out how she'd lost it. One moment she was checking on the waking Bombur and the next, the path had disappeared from under her feet. She instantly began to panic, searching this way and that for the path, but to no avail. Why? Where had it gone? It can't have just disappeared! Gandalf had given them one task, ONE TASK, and they just blew it!
"Hey, look!" One Dwarf shouted from behind her. She immediately rushed over, thinking this lucky Dwarf had found the path again, but instead found Dori examining a very familiar looking pouch. "A tobacco pouch. There are other Dwarves in these woods."
Bofur took the pouch from Dori. "Dwarves from the Blue Mountains, no less. This looks just like mine."
Celandine, absolutely fed up, swiped the pouch away and practically hurled it right at the loud mouth's face. 'That's because it is yours! Don't you all get it?! We're going in circles! We're lost!'
"We can't be lost," Dwalin shouted. "We keep heading East!"
"But which way's East?" Oin questioned. "We've lost the sun!"
Something clicked as the Elven girl looked up at the closest tree. The sun. They needed to find the sun. It was still up there, even if they couldn't see it, so how-? She turned to her father and immediately began signing to him. 'Do you think you can climb that tree?'
"What? Why me?"
'We need someone light who can reach the topmost branches. You're the lightest of all of us. You need to find the sun. You need to find our path."
The Hobbit still seemed dazed, but he nodded his understanding and made his way to the tree. A minute later, he was a quarter of the way up the tree, climbing higher and higher. So far, so good. Hopefully, the fresh air he'd receive would clear his head as well.
Meanwhile, back on the ground, the Dwarves were bickering once again. They no longer responded to her claps, she couldn't get them to stop. The stress of the argument was starting to get to the Elven girl. Worse still, she began to hear something else from all around. Celandine didn't know what the sound was, but it slowly began to seep into her mind and drown out the voices of the Dwarves. She started to tug at her hair as all the hunger, thirst, sleep-deprivation, and overall frustration came to a head. As if that wasn't enough, the voices were returning, mingling with memories.
"Trust your instincts."
One Ring to rule them all.
"Are we not your kin?"
One Ring to find them.
"She will outgrow it just as I have!"
One Ring to bring them all….
"And now one stands with my company, thinking herself one of us!"
…And in the darkness bind them.
"Celandine!"
She needed to get out of here.
Celandine bolted. She picked a direction and ran like her life depended on it, leaving the Dwarves in the dust. She didn't know where her feet were carrying her, not caring. Darkness flooded her vision and all she could hear were those forsaken voices. She just wanted them to stop, stop talking, stop telling her what to do and what to be!
She tripped over something. The Elven girl fell to the ground, skidding to a halt and not getting up for the longest time. Everything was silent again, calm. She felt like she could fall asleep, right there with her side to the forest floor. But then, the crunching of leaves. It was growing closer, closer. A pair of boots came into view. Then a voice.
"(Who are you)?"
Celandine turned her head upward. She immediately wished she hadn't. The illusions must have finally claimed the Elven girl because the person standing over her looked exactly like her.
Those were her last thoughts before the world faded to black.
Poor Celandine :(