Chapter 20: How to Make Friends
Lennie lead us outside and onto the street that was faded away with dust, but still present with its black concrete poking through the road. Vegetation managed to grow through the hard black stone, growing through houses, power lines, and the streets. It was less present here than what I've seen before, but the flora was remarkably different to the eye, as they were more beige, thick, and dry.
"I can't wait for you to meet my pal, you'll love her, and she's super duper smart." Lennie explained.
"From what I've seen, the people you know have more sense than you, and that's not saying anything." Ulysses sighed.
"Why do you got be like that, hoss?" Lennie asked with a warm expression.
"I hate blind ignorance." Ulysses responded.
"Well I'ma open my eyes in just a second, would th-."
"MARGARET! I SAID STAY!" Lennie yelled at his wife as he pulled out a spray bottle and sprayed her in the face.
"Why did you pack that with you..." Joe mumbled as he stared at the spray bottle that was labeled "Puppy Pee-Pee Trainer".
Margaret hissed as she stepped into the house slowly.
"STAY!" Lennie ordered.
"What was I saying again?" Lennie asked us as if nothing happened.
"Let's just go." Ulysses groaned.
We began to walk down the road together for a few minutes until we stopped and looked to a house at the side. A door in one of the houses next to us burst open, with a tall, largely scaled Neanderthal with puffed up hands and an overly dry face stared angrily at us.
"Lennie, who be 'dem outsiders you got on ya' tail?!" He yelled at us.
"Well, you see, Bonnard-"
"Bonnard? That's your name?" Joe giggled.
"There isn't much to a name. In this case, it's different." Ulysses told Joe with a small smile.
"Sick burn dude!" Joe congratulated Ulysses for passing some sort of friendship test. Joe held out his hand for a knuckle touch. Ulysses declined.
"I'ma crush this outsider's face and eat its paste, ya' hear?!" The Neanderthal shouted.
"Come on Bonnard, that's just... disgusting." Lennie told the Neanderthal.
"Yeah, and how are you going to do that with your sister's hand up your ass?" Joe taunted. "Get it, because of incest!"
"We get it. And be careful. This one is called a Tracker, they're smarter than you think." Ulysses told Joe.
Lennie stepped in front of Joe and Bonnard with his arms up in the air, saying "Hey, come on. Why don't we just sit down and-"
"I'll kill you outsider!" Bonnard roared as he ran down his steps to Joe.
"Aw heck." Lennie sighed.
Bonnard tripped on the last stair, slamming his torso into his fence's spike and making him yelp and exhale loudly before going stiff. Lennie turned away from Bonnard and looked angrily at Joe with his arms up.
"You killed another one of my neighbors! In less than 24 hours!" Lennie yelled as he raised his hands up.
"Oh god his organs are on the fence post!" I gagged.
"Yeah, this guy was waaaay smarter than the rest of them!" Joe looked over at Ulysses.
"What was the point of baiting him, he was gonna' let you go if I sweetened him up!" Lennie exclaimed. Lennie looked over to the corpse and shook his head. "He's...dead. He didn't deserve that."
"And that's where we disagree, my friend. If there's one thing I know, words won't solve anything, unless they're coated with bullets, and booze… and women… naked women." Joe smiled with a nod, making me scoff and walk away.
I snapped my fingers in front of his eyes. "Focus, honey. Christ."
Joe snapped back to reality and then walked down the road, stopping soon after, and looking back at us.
"Well? Let's keep moving!" Joe called with his arm.
"Son of a-" Lennie trailed off as he trotted forward.
We continued down the road after the incident, making sure we watched the houses intensively. As we peered over at the one story house, I noticed the rumble of the house walls, the shutting of the curtains, and the locking of the doors. I squinted at the houses.
"What's wrong with all your neighbors?" I asked Lennie.
"Aw, them? They don't like big groups, I think." He responded casually.
"Or maybe they have faces of a basketball and the stones of a ping pong ball." Joe joked, throwing his hands up at the nearest house in anger, threating them as they locked their doors.
"Or maybe they know something we don't." Ulysses grunted.
"Or maybe your just paranoid Ul.. yoo-lussies?" Joe attempted.
"Ulysses." He corrected Joe.
"I am not attempting that again."
"Got it." Ulysses answered.
"Hey, we're near my pal's house, so be on your best behaviors, alright?" Lennie interrupted.
I pointed to Joe. "Worry about this guy here, I'm as polite as they come."
"And make sure you don't get blood on her fence, she's kind of... serious about big groups." Lennie told Joe.
"Red's the new white." Joe defended with a smile as he looked at the two story house, and picked up a baseball that was buried in dirt and started tossing it.
Lennie knocked on the door of the house once, and it opened up to a young girl around Lennie's age, with heavy black make up around her eyes and face. She had impeccably straight black hair that was frozen still on the shoulders of her tar black shirt that went down to her pants that were just as devoid of color as her boots. The only thing that she wore that wasn't black was a silver pendant necklace that was in the shape of a thick circle.
Lennie smiled widely at her. "Hey, Ri-"
The girl punched Lennie in the nose and held a single fist at her side as Lennie breathed heavily into his hands.
"Oh God! What was that for?" Lennie asked as he felt his nose.
"You never came over for dinner last night." The girl told him.
She glanced over at us for a second and pulled out a black pistol and fire a bullet into Joe's baseball, blowing the leather ball into dust.
"Why, dammit?!" Joe shouted.
"Who the hell are these guys?" The girl asked.
"Rilee, this is Sarah, Joe and Ulysses... and..." Lennie looked at Dogmeat for a moment as he introduced us.
"Dogmeat." Ulysses said to him, looking down at his dog that was sitting next to him and looking up at him, expecting orders.
"Yeah, Dogmeat..." Lennie trailed off. "Weird name.. uh, guys, this is Rilee Tybee." Lennie introduced us nasally as he clenched his nose.
"Ah, your name rhymes!" Joe smiled. She did not reciprocate the animosity.
"Why are they here?" She asked as she aimed the gun at Joe.
"Listen, we all know you aren't going to use the gun, so just put it-" Joe's words were interrupted by Rilee, who shot him in the arm and dropped him to the dead grass, were Joe clenched his arm and twisted his face into a pained anger.
"Oh god, not again!" Joe shouted.
"You kinda did it to yourself." I told him as I held my hands up to my shoulders.
"I know." Joe grunted angrily.
"We're just here to ask you if you want to lend us your weapons and help us out of Louisiana." Lennie said, slightly afraid of her.
"Alright." Rilee said as she lowered her pistol and holstered it.
"Really?" Lennie asked.
"Oh... why did I feel like it would be harder to convince her? Oh right, she shot me in the freaking arm!" Joe shouted hysterically while he had his face buried in the grass, and directed away from everyone.
"Just like that?" Lennie asked her.
"Yeah, now you just really, really owe me." Rilee said as she opned her door all the way and walked inside, calling us over.
"You know, this ain't a cakewalk, we're going all the way to the cantina, and then some secret base Rilee. We need the big stuff." Lennie told her as he walked inside.
"Hey." Joe called painfully to me while I walked to the door.
"What?" I asked as I turned around to Joe as he still lay bleeding on the front lawn. "Oh right." I said as I walked to him.
"You already forgot that I'm wounded?" Joe asked me as I grabbed him by the shoulder and lifted him up.
"Sorry. It just happens so much." I apologized as I guided him inside.
"I'm so glad I stayed with your mom while you were being born, totally worth it." Joe panted as he walked inside.
I shook my head. "My parents told me the story, you saw my mom's vagina and you ran away to throw up."
"Worth a shot." Joe sighed.
Ulysses turned back and asked us, "Can we get back to not trusting the girl with the gun?"
"Done." Joe said as he looked around.
The house was darkened with small candles lit in the corners. The furniture was dark and still, like it hasn't been used in ages. The three of us looked around the dark home as Lennie and Rilee talked in another room. I tripped over the welcome mat inside. It felt as if there were something protruding underneath.
"If there's a place I'm going to be tied up and shot in, it's here." Joe said as he held his arm.
"Well at least you already thought this scenario through." I sighed sarcastically as I looked at the candles' wax that was pouring down the candle into a puddle.
"Who's the paranoid one now?" Ulysses asked us as he pointed to small holes hidden in the wall.
"Laser tripwires. They're deactivated now, but be on the lookout, they could go off at any second, and they're all over." He said quietly.
"Are we finally agreeing for the first time? That's so cute." Joe whispered.
"Hey, what are you doing out here? The fun's in the kitchen!" Lennie exclaimed.
"Yeah! The fun..." Joe fake-smiled as he walked to it slowly.
We walked into the kitchen, where Rilee stood up against the refrigerator, and nudged when we walked in. My hand brushed past a book on the counter and I looked down. it was an old, blood-stained book titled "Chicken Little". I smiled and reached to pick it up and read it.
"Don't touch that." Rilee told me. "Alright, now that you idiots managed to walk forward, I can give you your things." Rilee sighed as she stood next to the fridge and knocked it over, breaking the floor tiles with the force.
"What the hell was that for? That's nice flooring!" Joe yelled.
Rilee pulled open the fridge door up and tossed it lightly over, revealing that the entire fridge was filled to the brim with weaponry ranging from rifles, to pistols and survival gear like vests and holsters.
"What did I tell you before about the tied up and shot thing?" Joe asked me.
"Hey now, it's alright. Rilee can be trusted." Lennie told him.
"Why do you have all these guns in your fridge?" Joe asked Rilee.
"Where else would I put them?" Rilee asked him, squinting at him like he asked something ridiculous. Joe stared openly back for a few seconds, stuttering random questions.
"Screw it, I want that pistol." Joe said as he put his arm into the refrigerator.