Alistair carried Ser Jory's corpse inside the tent and unceremoniously dropped it down next to Daveth's.

After all he was not a fallen Brother, and moreover the bastard would have gladly killed Duncan to find his escape route, had his fighting skills allowed him.

Unfortunately the report of a death due to the Joining was not an option, so his name would forever remain carved in stone together with those of all the brave men and women who were destined to die in the upcoming battle. His Helena was going to spend the rest of her life mourning a fallen hero, oblivious of the truth that her beloved husband was nothing but a coward who turned his back to duty, to Ferelden, to his unborn child, and to her.

Alistair left and directed his heavy steps towards the terrace where Duncan was awaiting Liv's awakening. As much as he struggled, he couldn't help but torment himself with the thought of being soon forced to another walk, this time with her body on his shoulder. But since cynicism and bitterness never brought him any good, he took a deep breath and decided to be optimistic. He drove away the bad thoughts and focused his mind on two bright blue eyes smiling at him, telling him I told you I would make it!

He quickened his pace, hurrying towards the moment of truth. During his early youth he spent too many years brooding in solitude, years in which he was too busy being angry with the whole world and with its maker to enjoy what good he had in life. And life, in response, had done nothing but get worse, reaching its worst the day his uncle delivered him into the clutches of the Chantry.

As much as he might have hated the Revered Mother and a cloistered life full of strict rules, during the time he spent at the Monastery the young Alistair had developed a strong sense of discipline. The many words of wisdom reluctantly heard slowly permeated him, until his anger turned into strong will and his cynicism into a steadfast sense of humor. In wonderment, he found that as soon as he had changed his attitude, life had begun to bring him nice surprises, and they were both on top of the staircase that he was now climbing at a fast pace.

-o-o-o-

"It is finished, welcome!" Duncan's features were ravaged from exhaustion but in his grateful eyes, now finally imbued with relief, Liv could easily see that he was immensely proud of her.

She tried to smile at him but her arid lips cracked and started burning like fire. She moaned, her stomach engulfed in flames as well, and when she tried to swallow her throat wriggled and rebelled, while a genuinely horrible flavour sprang from her taste buds. She grimaced in disgust and saw Duncan snicker as he realized he must have made that very same face soon after his post-joining awakening, the memory of that pestilent taste still fresh in his mind.

He grabbed her arm to help her stand up and she had to lean on him, her head still throbbing.

"How do you feel?" He asked with a hoarse voice.

It took a long time to Liv to think of an answer to such an apparently simple question, since she had never felt so miserable and yet so happy and proud of herself. Her body was screaming in outrage, but she was enjoying the gift of a feeling totally new to her, a tingling that allowed her to sense Duncan's presence in a way so deep and intense she had never experienced before.

The sound of approaching footsteps snatched her attention and, suddenly sensing Alistair with a surprising clarity, Liv turned her head to greet him with a triumphant smile.

When the young warden saw her standing on her own legs he barely refrained from jumping in joy and rushing to kiss her, but he instead forced himself to assume a quiet demeanor, and wearing just a hint of a smile he slowed down his pace to stop right in front of her. For a while he just enjoyed the look of her spirited eyes telling him 'I told you' in the very same way he had envisioned it. Her face was white as marble, dark shadows surrounded her eyes, and her lips were stained with darkspawn blood, but to him she was nothing but the most beautiful sight in the world.

"Did you have dreams? I had ...terrible dreams after my Joining!" He lowered his gaze and shook his head in an almost theatrical way.

After? What do you mean with after? So, were they just dreams and not a part of the Joining itself?

Liv tried to recall the whole sequence of all the harsh trials she had undergone, and the more she thought of it, the more she was convinced they were not just dreams.

"Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden," Duncan interrupted her thoughts. "That, and many other things I will explain in the months to come".

Things like that I'll never be able to give birth to a child? Liv threw a sympathetic smile at him as she could easily imagine his discomfort about having to tell her. She swore to herself she would spare him the trouble as soon as they had an occasion to talk in private.

"Before I forget, there is one last part of your Joining." Alistair's voice broke in with the force of a cool shower. She had just started recovering from the most harrowing of trials, how could they pretend she could stand up to another exertion when she could barely walk? She stared at him with wide-open, pleading eyes. No please, not now!

Alistair couldn't enjoy the sight of her bewildered expression because he had already started rummaging inside a small leather bag hanging from his belt. His hand came out soon after, holding a silver necklace with a tiny glass bulb inserted in it. "We take some of their blood and put it in a pendant," he told her in a solemn way, his back stiff the moment he handed it to her. "Something to remind us of those who didn't make it this far".

To his highest disconcert Liv turned her back to him and stood still, a hand lifting her hair from her neck, waiting for him to put the necklace around it. This time it was she the one who couldn't appreciate the very bewildered look on his face. Moments after, while a manifestly embarrassed Alistair clumsily fumbled with the clasp of the necklace, his hands trembling and his cheeks a nice fiery red, Liv saw Duncan snigger. She got the clear impression she was missing something.

As soon as the necklace was in place, Duncan threw a knowing glance at Alistair. "Take care of her in the following hours. Now, no offense, but I need to retire for a few hours of sleep."

He performed a half bow and then walked down the staircase to head straight towards his tent. Silent, they watched him walk away.

"Two more deaths. In my Joining only one of us died and it was... horrible!" Alistair lowered his head, lost in his painful memories.

Liv jolted, suddenly struck with the thought of Hyram. "Does that mean all the other recruits survived?" She finally managed to use her voice through a parched throat.

Alistair shook his head. "The young mage from the Tower... he didn't survive the Joining".

"But you said two..."

"Well, technically Ser Jory didn't die after the Joining so he's never become a warden, and as far as I know he will never rest next to our fallen brothers!"

Judging by the tone of his voice and by his angry reddening Liv understood she wasn't the only one who despised the other recruit from Highever. "Do you have any idea where Hyram might be?" She asked him in a muffled voice that to her ears sounded awfully raspy.

Alistair shrugged. To tell the truth he had a quite clear idea of where the elf might be, as from the moment Hyram had stumbled into Myra, the poor fellow had not been able to take his eyes off her. On her part, after the 'accident' with the rose, the Dalish girl had looked more than happy to indulge in the handsome young man's attentions, not losing a single occasion to throw defiant glances at her former love interest, the fool human who had the guts to show too little interest in her charms for her liking.

As far as he was concerned, Alistair had spent the whole evening sitting by the fire in a haze. Caught in the powerful spell of an enchanted early summer night, he had let the sweet evening breeze lull him, caress his cheeks like a loving mother, whisper to him words full of promises. His staring eyes, lost in the mesmerizing dance of flames, had been scarcely aware of the newly formed elven couple flirting in front of them. Enraptured by the wishful song of the crackling fire, he kept sipping his mead, absent-mindedly, barely even noticing the loud noise of chatter and the coarse laughs coming from his warden comrades sitting all around him.

"I saw his elf friend walk with Hyram leaning on him for support, they headed to the camp. Actually Hyram didn't sleep half as long as you did but he looked quite rumpled anyway."

He sighed heavily. "Holy cow, you made us worry a huge deal with your prolonged nap y'know?" He bantered, then his eyes narrowed into an unreadable expression. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this but... I've never seen Duncan so concerned about a recruit. Well, it's not that he usually doesn't care but," he leaned closer to Liv "there were times when I could have sworn he had tears in his eyes!" He ended in a whisper, almost astonished by his own words, then looked sideways as if afraid of having said too much.

"I'm sure Duncan cares as much about you, Alistair, but I bet you couldn't see his face during your journey into the dark, could you?" She winked at him and then cleared her raspy throat. "If I told you that I'm thirsty it would be an understatement. Do you happen to have some water?"

"Water? Sure! Follow me." He extended an arm to her, but Liv didn't seize it and he managed to hide his disappointment. "Plenty of fresh, sparkling mountain water all around here."

They walked down the stone staircase and he turned sharply right, headed to the soldiers camp.

"Ahem... sorry if I have to ask you this, but... do you happen to feel nauseous or have an urge to vomit?"

"Why? Did you feel sick after your Joining?" Liv brought a nervous hand to her stomach but all she could feel was a burning sensation beyond description and the urgency to throw her head into a pool of water and drain it.

Alistair chuckled. "I didn't, but some do... and they're the lucky ones!"

Liv threw a worried, inquisitive glance at him. "Why? What happens to the unlucky ones?"

She was trying to sound conversational and failed miserably.

"Oooooh you will see in nooooo time," he sneered, then chuckled again.

Liv snorted in outrage. "So? What's so funny about it? You're so in love with your new life that you can't help being overly fond even of its downsides?"

Alistair turned his head to look at her, an eyebrow cocked in a knowing glance. "You may not believe it, but a bellyache of the finest type is nothing compared to enduring an hour of the Revered Mother's reproofs, Maker bless and preserve the old hag!"

"Ah! I bet you are the first and only warden who didn't undergo a Joining but a joyning'!" Liv remarked, teasing him. Alistair reveled in jolly laughter. "Who knows, that might be the reason why I'm still alive since my joyning was also a bit...anomalous. Gregor once told me that Duncan would've had enough time to make funeral arrangements and dig my grave with his bare hands during my chess game with the Archdemon."

They reached the camp. It was cluttered with unkempt, freshly woken soldiers who were busy preparing and eating breakfast; others strayed around like zombies in search of a quiet corner in which to withdraw.

Alistair led her across the meadows on the other side, and as soon as Liv heard the enchanting sound of a gurgling brook she rushed towards it. He watched her while she threw herself on the grass to duck her face into the cool water and swallowed down the hugest gulps in the shortest time. She kept drinking avidly until her stomach throbbed and a stab of pain forced her to stop.

She lay for a while, gasping on the water surface, until the sound of what was now a very familiar chuckle reached her ears.

"I remember waking up on a wooden table inside a warehouse in Denerim, the first thing I did was roll down from it and throw my head into a bucket of water. It must have tasted awful but I didn't care since I already felt like a whole army of ogres was rotting inside my mouth..."

Liv lifted her head to watch him and saw again that dreaming expression, as she expected.

Evidently, every memory that was bound to his rescue from the Monastery and the beginning of his new life tasted sweet, no matter what.

Alistair threw his cloak to the ground and sat on it, then started lazily chewing on a stem of grass, much to Liv's dismay. The tight deadlines of the day before hadn't allowed her to meet her new comrades in arms, and also she was eager to see Hyram to deliver on a post-Joining agreement.

"Why do you sit down, do you intend to stay here a long time? I want to see the wardens now! I still hadn't the chance to meet them, not one. What are your plans for today?" She asked with some annoyance to a relaxed Alistair who was now laying on the grass, his face bathed in early morning sunshine.

He grunted and opened a disappointed eye. "Well am a warden and you had the chance to meet me! Ouch, and I thought we were going along so well..."

Liv felt a pang of guilt for having fallen down in her usual lack of tact, but being it was due to her urge to start be a part of Duncan's family she instantly forgave herself. "Oh Alistair c'mon, I didn't mean that! I know it may seem strange after so little time, but you're like a brother to me," she reassured him with a friendly pat on the back and rose to her feet, preventing her from noticing the disappointed look on his face.

She made to walk away but Alistair took her hand to stop her. "Stay!"

Liv froze, struck by the thought she was probably going to find herself in the same situation she had put Duncan the night after their escape from Highever. She had come to care so much for him after only one day. The thought of breaking the heart of this extraordinary, cheerful, handsome boy hit her like a punch in the stomach.

Alistair leapt up and grabbed her shoulder. "Am I such a bad company you can't be here with me a minute longer?"

She didn't turn her head to look at him. "Alistair I ... don't ..." She started babbling, unable to think of something proper to say, the frantic beats of her heart rebounding inside her throat. It was so easy to think of an exit strategy in battle, why was she feeling naked, unarmed, and totally clueless in front of something like that?

His hand was still gently but firmly holding her as he spoke. "I was waiting for something to happen before we left this place..."

So this was it. She was so accustomed to rejecting her suitors without flinching and without experiencing the slightest remorse that she had never, not even remotely imagined she would stumble into such a situation. She wished she could make him happy, no one deserved it more than him. "Alistair I..." She lowered her gaze and started trembling.

"Are you feeling alright?" He took her face in his hands and lifted it gently to look at her. She was dead pale. "You're sweating and I know what it means. You must not worry, it also happened to me," he whispered gently, watching her with a knowing smile.

Her eyes widened dramatically. "Alistair I..." Words died on her lips and she started gasping, her face the color of white marble. "I don't feel about you in that way I'm sorry!" She finally managed to tell him through a strangled voice.

Stony silence reigned supreme for several moments to follow.

After what looked like an eternity Alistair's voice broke in. "Well, I thank you for your frankness but," he cleared his clenched throat, "I believe there's been a terrible misunderstanding here. I'm not keeping you in this secluded corner of the plateau for that reason!"

He sighed heavily, a sudden sensation of bitterness stinging his soul. Why did life have this nasty habit of stabbing him in the back with such brutality?

He looked at her, and when she turned away from him to hide her tears, his bitterness quickly gave way to the old rueful acceptance that he didn't deserve happiness. "My feelings for you have nothing to do with this," his voice tone was cold, almost brusque, "and I can make it quick if you're so bloody eager to leave!"

Liv froze. What is he talking about?

Much to her horror she heard him fumble with his belt and her head started swirling. She staggered, feeling as if the earth was giving way beneath her feet, the memory of the man outside the inn at Lake Calehad resurfacing with the violence of a raging river. Was it such a common thing to be harassed this way outside of that small heaven of peace she called home? The thought of having to become accustomed to this state of things made her feel nauseous. She spun around, ready to kick him hard. If he just had dared...

A moment later she found herself glaring with flaming eyes at a thunderstruck Alistair holding a small flask full of a greenish fluid. "Did I say something wrong?"

Liv flared up with shame. "I'm sorry... I was... W-what is it?"

"Oh we affectionately call it drain-cleaner," he chuckled, his voice now warm again.

"It will help you get rid of the poisonous crap you had for breakfast this morning."

Liv coyly smiled at him wrinkling her nose up, happy to see his eyes had gone back to their usual mischievous look, but she suddenly gasped with horror when she understood she wasn't going to need any drain-cleaner. She clutched her belly and screamed his name loud, doubled up with pain.

Alistair grinned. "Here we go!" He bantered, then he simply pointed his finger at a nearby hollow surrounded by rocks and she rushed towards it.

"Perfect timing I'd say!" He called aloud to make himself heard.

"Go away!" Her shout reached him from the hollow.

He covered his ears with his open hands and shouted, "I'm not listening!"

"Go-away!" She cried out again, swearing she would take revenge as soon as she could if he didn't leave instantly.

"Theeeeeeeeeeere's only one song in my mind and my dreeeeeeams..."

The loud noise of Alistair shouting his head off reached her.

"... that tells of a brave man who lived in Fe-rel-deeeeeeeeen..."

He was singing at the top of his voice, and he was so terribly out of tune that the result was quite amusing.

"He travelled from home to the ends of the Eeeeeeeearth..."

Despite the torment Liv couldn't help but laugh out loud, tears falling down her eyes from both pain and amusement.

"... to help Maric the Brave reclaim his stolen throooooone!"

Maker, she was so grateful to him for all he had done and he was still doing! He had taken care of her throughout all of the Joining trials and now he was doing his best to avoid her feeling embarrassed. In return, she had broken his heart and had believed him capable of the vilest of actions.

He deserved much better than this, much better than her.