Chapter 21
'Origami'
As soon as I woke up the next morning, I pulled on some jogging bottoms and the first t-shirt I could find and headed straight for Lily's room. It was Friday and the start of the November half term. The rest of the girls were still sleeping off the effects of the laced punch from Sirius's birthday the night before.
I was far too het up to sleep, I wanted to talk about what had happened last night. Surely it couldn't be real. Remus, a werewolf?
If the school was to hold a vote of least likely to be a bloodthirsty mythical creature in their spare time, I was pretty sure Remus would rank somewhere at the top.
I waited at the bottom of the staircase for Lily to emerge. Luckily for me she was an early riser. Unfortunately, it seemed, so was Remus. He looked like death warmed up. It was all still so hard to believe, like we were living in our own low-budget tv series.
He walked toward me slowly as though he was worried I would bolt away from him like a frightened rabbit.
"James and Sirius have filled me in about last night," he said, stopping several feet away from me. It was obvious he viewed himself in the same vein as Snape had; a monster.
I crossed the distance between us irritably.
"I suppose you and Lily think me despicable now?" he asked as if already knew the answer.
"Actually, I wasn't that keen on you before last night," I replied without thinking.
Remus was taken aback at my frank response.
"Finding out about everything else about you," I added, "well, there are worse things around right now."
His brow furrowed. "Like what?" he demanded, impatience clearly lacing his usually calm voice.
His question caught me off-guard. "Like Death Eaters. Like the unforgiveable curses," I listed. "Or the 'dark wizard' on the rise the papers keep going on about." I looked around us before continuing more quietly, "You locking yourself away in the Shack every month doesn't really pose an immediate threat."
Remus blinked back at me.
"Wait, you 'weren't keen on me' before last night?" he said finally. "What's that supposed to mean? I've done nothing but be civil to you."
I gave a grim smile. "You hate me."
He frowned. "No I don't," he said, before pausing uneasily for a second. "I mean, well, yes, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. But I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone."
"I'm ridiculous? This coming from someone who brushes bat dung off his trousers with his bare hands."
Remus's nose scrunched. "Still remember that, do you?"
"Like yesterday."
He looked defeated. "Sirius hasn't exactly made my life easy when it comes to you," he confessed. "Convinced himself I'm in love with you when-"
"When what?" I said. "He doesn't-"
Remus's eyes widened. "Oh lord, no," he assured. "But it's as if he enjoys arguing with you. I love him like a brother, but Sirius Black can be something of a stubborn prat."
I breathed a quiet laugh. Stubborn prat didn't even begin to cover the emotional maelstrom that was Black.
"Now, I believe we made something of a truce at the beginning of the school year," Remus reminded me. "It's just... I don't really think we've stuck by it, do you?"
"Not really, no," I conceded.
He held his hand out for me to take. "It's bat pellet free this time I can assure you." A ghost of a smile drew across his lips.
Just as our hands met, a galloping Lily came racing down the stairs to break them apart.
"Oh. Hi." She addressed Remus awkwardly, coming to stand next to me. They instantly spoke over one another in a confused babble.
"You know it's fine I-" Lily started.
"I'll understand if-" Remus cut her off.
"It doesn't matter to me-" she insisted.
"I know I'm a monster-"
Finally Lily grabbed both of Remus's hands in hers, forcing him to listen. "You're a good person, Remus. You have a kind heart. Nothing could ever possibly change my opinion of that."
Remus smiled weakly, his eyes bulging slightly like a squeezed hamster when she threw herself around his neck. Yep. Unlike myself, Lily was most definitely a hugger.
The three of us took a slow walk down to breakfast, Lily linking Remus's arm as if to prevent any form of escape.
.o.
"So you won't tell anyone then?" Remus asked again. His intense eyes seemed to be focused on me more so than Lily, like he was worried that I'd be the one to blab out of the two of us.
"I won't tell anyone," I replied firmly.
"We would never, Remus," Lily agreed earnestly.
"Not even your friends?" Remus clarified.
We both told him yet again that no one would find out his furry little secret from us. He finally seemed appeased. For now.
"I'm knackered," he muttered, pinching his thumb and forefinger at the top of his nose and scrunching his red-rimmed eyes.
"Here, eat something," Lily pressed, loading his plate with random breakfast items.
Remus already looked like his stomach was turning over and when she put a massive sausage of white pudding on his plate it looked like a hard lump of sick had formed in his throat. "Please. Stop," he wheezed.
Lily let her hands fall into her lap quickly. "Sorry," she muttered, eyeing up the overstuffed pale coil that still sat incriminatingly on his plate. "You know, I'm not even sure what that is," she said quietly.
"A boy in my class once said it was congealed cow's sperm," I remembered, pouring milk over my cereal.
I sensed Remus swallow a retch in the background.
When I looked at him his eyes were watering. "Are you doing this on purpose?" he breathed.
A familiar black mop of hair took a seat opposite Lily and I, and I realised with a start that both James and Sirius had joined us while I was busy looking at Remus's white sausage.
"Where's Pete?" Remus asked them instantly, looking concerned, "Is he okay?"
I had forgotten Peter had been left all alone down there with him all the way through his transformation.
"He's fine," James reassured him with a pat on the back. "He's just sleeping it off. Turns out all that running around as a rat can catch up with you when you're human... you'd think he'd be in better shape," he added thoughtfully.
After the rest of us had left McGonagall's office last night it had been really late. The party in the common room for Sirius's birthday had long since dispersed. Overall it hadn't been the best birthday for someone to have, but Sirius had brought it on himself by taunting Snape with Remus's location in the first place.
"Get much sleep?" Sirius asked casually now, glancing up in my direction.
I eyed him warily, wondering if he was really was talking to me out of everyone. He snorted quietly. "Yes. Cheryl. Did you get much sleep?"
"No," I replied truthfully.
"Don't suppose you were expecting any of that last night," he agreed. "Though it will teach you and Evans for getting involved in things that have nothing to do with you," he said, gesturing vaguely at me and Lily with the end of his spoon before taking another mouthful of food.
"Yes," I said sarcastically, "for some reason seeing Snape running full pelt across the grounds in the dark did attract our attention just a bit."
Sirius gave a humourless laugh at the image my description had conjured. "Snivellus," was all he said, sneering like the mere memory of him was replusive to linger on. "Hope Dumbledore gave him a bollocking."
"Do you randomly choose people to bully or do you have some kind of system?" I asked, suddenly seeing Snape in the same category as myself. Until now, I couldn't think of a single thing that he had done to truly deserve the kind of treatment he got from James and Sirius.
Just like me. We didn't deserve it. None of the Marauders victims did.
"Please don't tell me you see Snivelly as a kindred spirit?" Black scoffed in a low voice.
I stood by what I had said.
"Do yourself a favour," he shook his head, "Even you're better than that greasy slimeball."
"Even me?"
He rolled his eyes like I was being purposefully obstructive.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Remus still trying his best not to make eye contact with the food Lily had piled in front of him. He looked genuinely ill, probably only staying at breakfast for his friends.
I reached across and lifted his plate away from him, squashing it underneath the bowl I had finished with to hide it from view. I saw him relax a little, no longer having it right under his nose.
"Thanks," he muttered weakly, unable to even turn his head to look at me.
I tried not to notice Black openly watching me help his friend. Let him have even more ammunition to say I fancied Remus. It wasn't like he could get any worse for it.
Instead I focused my attention on Lily. She was using the fact that James had started talking to Remus as an excuse to look at him - her eyes wondered over Potter's face like she was seeing him for the first time. Something had definitely changed between them last night.
James had saved Snape without any thought of his own safety. James was a latent good person.
I knew it wouldn't be long before they got together.
.o.
"Cheryl, Lily!" Marlene called to us loudly, beckoning us over to her and Sally as we stepped into the common room. They were finally out of bed then. Remus walked along behind us, eager to escape the stench of food in the hall. We'd left the other boys behind to finish eating.
"Hey Remus," Sally greeted him with a warm smile, completely oblivious as to what had gone on last night.
I looked at my blonde haired friend giving goo goo eyes to the exhausted, impossibly unsure of himself Remus. It finally dawned on me that she liked him. Remus probably liked her back too, I realised, if he would ever allow himself to admit it.
This was why Remus had never been known to have a girlfriend. He didn't think he was worthy of being loved.
"Excited for the big game tomorrow?" Sally asked him with a broad smile.
"Yeah," Remus replied unconvincingly. I was willing to bet he'd forgotten all about it.
"It's going to be rad," Marlene cut in. "By the way you two both still owe James money for your ticket," she looked at me and Lily.
I nodded. Well, at least Lily could be certain she would never have to repay that tab.
.oOo.
The day of the Quidditch match had finally arrived, and James took it upon himself to rally the rest of us to the port key he had organised with the staff of The Three Broomsticks. He kept glancing at Lily, clearly eager to show off his leadership skills in front of her.
"Let's go people! Move it along!" he called.
The boys, Marlene and Sally were all bedecked in colourful scarves in support of their respective teams.
Despite being draped in an orange and green scarf for the Irish National team, it was obvious Sirius's heart wasn't in it. James had probably coerced him into wearing it.
For once I found myself in agreement with Black. As the start of half term it was ideal timing for a group outing, it was just a shame it had to be to a boring Quidditch match.
I'd made the stupid move of only agreeing to come if the almost terminally absent Lily did, and Sally could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. Damn her.
Sally had invited another girl I didn't really know all that well from her Muggle Studies class, but who was already somehow 'best friends forever' with Marlene. They were laughing loudly and flirting with the boys whenever the chance arose.
"Katie!" Marlene exclaimed now at the top of her voice. "You shouldn't say things like that about Peter, you know he's shy!"
Katie and Marlene had flanked the small boy who blushed intensely and tried not to look at either of them.
Black grinned. "Ignore them Pete, you're too good for either of them and they know it!"
Raucous laughter ensued. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Peter. He was just so awkward. I could relate.
"We're here," James called back, eyeing up the approaching sign to the pub.
We all trooped in noisily. James and Sirius went over to the bar to sort out what was going on.
"Hello boys," a pretty young barmaid came out of the door at the back and walked over to them with a flirtatious grin.
"Rosy," James greeted with a slightly awkward smile and a glance back at Lily. Lily pretended not to be watching.
'Rosy' looked extremely put out, looking to Sirius instead. "What's up his nose?" she asked in her West Country accent. "You're not usually so bashful around me!" She laughed at James, walking around to him.
Sirius seemed like he was holding back his amusement. He knew exactly why James was being bashful; it had red hair, a fast temper and was stood directly behind them.
James backed away from the barmaid's approach. "Oh!" Rosy exclaimed, "It's like that now is it? I'll remember that the next time you come in here with your sweet words." She laughed again.
James looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.
I glanced at Lily, but she was trying not to let anything show on her face.
"I've still got some sweet words for you," Sirius offered with a lascivious grin. Rosy cackled out a dirty laugh. "Oh I bet you have!"
"For Merlin's sake, can we get a move on?" Marlene called loudly, "I'd like to be at the match some time Christmas!"
Rosy huffed slightly, but extricated herself from Sirius to go and fetch the Port Key.
Sirius looked like the cat that got the cream. He caught my eye and winked.
I shot him an unimpressed look. He could flirt with the entire women's Quidditch team and I would never give him the satisfaction of thinking I would be bothered.
.o.
After travelling to the humongous stadium and somehow navigating our large group through the teeming crowds, we were finally able to take our designated seats in the stalls .
It was a massive turnout. The opposition to the Irish team, the Skydandies, or whatever they were called, must have been pretty popular. I looked down at the pristine pitch, over the heads of thousands of other witches and wizards. A majority of them were dressed in the Skydandies red and white.
"Wow," I muttered.
Sally beamed from her seat next to me. "Brilliant isn't it? I can't wait for it to start, Quidditch is amazing!" She practically squeaked the words.
She turned to address James, reaching out for his arm over mine and Lily's lap. "Forget what I've said about you in the past James, all is forgiven. You are officially fantastic for getting us these tickets!"
James chuckled. "Anything for Lils," he nudged Lily boisterously with his elbow making her ricochet into the side of me.
"I'm only here under duress, Potter," she replied, though her voice didn't have quite the same force as it usually did. It was as if she was just going through the motions.
Black cut in, "And on that ungrateful note, I'm going to get food. Anyone want anything?"
"Me!" Marlene's loudmouth new best friend Katie Cassidy called. "I'm dying for a hot chocolate. I'll come with you," she offered, already off her seat.
"No, no," Sirius assured, pushing her shoulder back down gently but firmly. "My treat. Anyone else want anything? Though you'll all have to empty your pockets first. I'm not that generous."
His eyes wondered over our faces, glazing ever so briefly over mine. It was like I wasn't even there. "I'll have a trotter sandwich please, mate," James said, handing Sirius a fist full of coins.
Lily pulled a disgusted face. "It's just another name for a pork sandwich," Sally told her. Wizards just liked to think themselves unique to Muggles when it came to naming modern dishes.
Peter requested a box of sugarcorn.
"Got it." Sirius pocketed the money and ran down the stairs at top speed, disappearing into a large doorway at the bottom left.
"Having fun yet?" I asked Lily with a sly smile, noticing James edging his leg towards her until they touched.
"Oh bundles of it," she replied dryly, but I noticed that she hadn't moved her leg.
From James's other side, Remus seemed to have finally recovered from the events of the other night, at least for this month. He scanned the pitch, waiting for any activity to begin. I wondered if the predator in him meant his eyesight was any more finely tuned than the rest of us.
"I bet the Skydanders get the first shot in," James said confidently. "Any money."
"That doesn't really mean much to you seeing as you're loaded," Sally said.
"Fine, fine," James conceded. "If they get the first goal I suppose I'll deign to snog Lily here." He feigned a put upon voice and grinned down at Lily to share the joke with him.
Peter looked confused. "You mean if they don't get the first goal?" he corrected.
"Nope," James replied with a smirk.
"Ugh," Lily made a disgusted noise, but it almost seemed as if she was slightly pleased by the prospect, trying not to smile. "Please Cheryl, let's get spectacularly tipsy again and erase this day from our memories."
I laughed at her attempt to seem indignant.
"Rebellious Lily, I like it," James said appreciatively. Lily's mouth twisted with another repressed smile.
"TEN MINUTES UNTIL THE SNITCH IS RELEASED!" The booming voice emanated from the opposite side of the stalls.
"I need to pee," I realised, as if my bladder was spurred on by the countdown. "Back in a minute," I told Lily.
Getting up from my seat quickly, I scooched along the row, glad that Sirius wasn't there to have my backside thrust in his face. He'd been gone a long time now, the food stalls must have been ridiculously busy.
When I descended the stairs and spotted the queue for the ladies toilet I stopped in my tracks. It was easily half a mile long, stretching all the way back into the corridor. Did nobody go before they set out?
The doorway to the men's next door was a veritable scene of peace and serenity in comparison, with just the odd man exiting looking slightly smugly over at the women still waiting on the other side.
I glanced around frantically, I was going to miss the start of the match waiting in this.
The underneath of the bleachers caught my eye, beckoning me over with the tempting shadows to crouch in. I shook the idea from my head as soon as it started. No way. Knowing my luck Black would catch me at it. I would just have to hold it in until half-time then bite the bullet of the queue.
"Morland!"
A familiar voice called over to me. I turned to find Black making his way over from the sugarcorn stall. "Give me a hand?" he asked, nodding to the abundance of food in his arms.
The corner of my mouth drew upwards as I contemplated walking off and leaving him to navigate the masses of people on his own.
Black's eyebrows knitted together, an uncertain smile growing on his face. "Getting a sense of humour in your old age?" he raised a dark eyebrow at me.
Reluctantly, I extricated the drink containers from his hand, his fingers brushing mine momentarily before I pulled away.
We attempted to squeeze our way through the masses of people back to our seats. I had nearly made it back without a spillage when I was buffeted by a middle aged man's beer gut. I rebounded off it like a trampoline into Sirius's side, the drinks in my hands wobbling precariously.
Sirius looked to the protruding culprit, shooting me a look of mutual amusement.
"What were you doing down here anyway?" he asked. "Did you miss me?" The corners of his mouth were curled upwards.
"Obviously," I replied.
I gestured back to the obscene queue still waiting outside the ladies toilet in explanation.
Sirius shook his head. "What do you do in there?"
He looked at me as if I was personally responsible for the problem and needed to answer for my crimes against public facilities.
"I get out as fast as I can," I replied, affronted. "You have no idea how lucky you are. I've been stuck behind a whole netball team changing their clothes in the cubicles before."
Sirius grimaced in disgust. "That can't be hygienic," he said, though I doubted he knew what netball actually was.
"You could just transform into your dog and do your business anywhere," I realised.
Sirius didn't meet my eyes, though the corners of his mouth remained upwards.
"You've actually done that, haven't you?" I demanded.
Sirius smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
x
"Oh my life what a match!" Sally was almost uncontrollable after the game ended. She looked like she wanted to cry actual tears of joy.
England had lost, obviously, but apparently they'd 'played really well'.
I'd had no idea what was going on throughout half of it. I'd zoned out after the first ten minutes, retreating the much more interesting world of my head.
Sirius must've noticed and had leaned backwards across Katie and Sally to prod me hard in the back, scoffing when I almost jumped out of my skin.
The funniest part was that Katie had thought he was putting his arm around her and had snuggled into him. Sirius's face was a picture. He'd had to keep his arm around the back of her chair for the next half an hour because she'd taken up the space it had come from.
We finally reached where we'd left our Port Key -an old can of baked beans- and managed to get back to The Three Broomsticks in one piece. Rosemerta didn't try to flirt with James again. I think she'd taken the not so subtle hint to back off. Sirius still gave her an admiring courtesy glance though, so she wasn't too upset.
During our trek back to the castle everyone except me, Lily and Sirius were all still talking animatedly about how the keeper for the Skydanders had performed a perfect backwards roll while saving a goal. I couldn't help but think that maybe if the Skydanders hadn't been so focused on showing off their moves they might've actually won.
We were just heading into the great hall for dinner when I spotted an all too familiar face hanging around outside. Ant Javerhops was chatting to a couple of his friends.
He caught my eye and let it linger for a second before looking away. His friends glanced over at me after he said something to them.
I avoided their gazes, not wanting to even try to work out what they he had said to them about me.
He'd referred to me as 'mate' the last time we spoke, so clearly he was well over whatever crush he thought he had on my 'expressive pupils'. It still made me want to cringe and fold in on myself like origami to think about it, even now.
"Aren't you going to say hello to your boyfriend?" Sirius's voice was close by. I darted around to find him bent down by the side of my head, his eyes fixed on Ant.
I let out an impatient breath. "You know he's not my boyfriend."
Sirius straightened up. "Why not just tell him to get lost then?" he drawled, like it was easiest thing in the world to not give a toss about anyone else's feelings.
I remembered the way he had acted the other night, when Snape had snuck underneath the Whomping Willow to get to Remus. How protective he had been of his friend. Even if he had caused the problem in the first place.
I realised that he did care about others. He just didn't give his loyalty out easily, and neither Ant nor I were lucky enough to be one of his chosen few.
"Cheryl!"
I had been distracted enough that I hadn't seen Ant's gaze now focused solely on me. His friends had walked away. He moved his head in a way that beckoned me over.
"Ooooh!" the loudmouth Katie catcalled next to me, looking appreciatively over at the beefy rugby player calling my name. I glowered to myself wishing she would just get lost already.
"Want me to come?" Lily offered, already looking annoyed with Ant on my behalf.
"No, just go on ahead," I told her. Hopefully if she went into the hall, the rest of our group would follow and not get to watch me having to talk to him.
Lily nodded. She linked her hand in James's arm and led him away. Potter looked like all his birthdays and Christmases had come at once, but he tried to play it cool as he let her guide him into the hall, like he and Lily often embraced and walked around together.
Seeing them leave, the others soon followed as I'd hoped.
I took a breath in and prepared myself, wondering what Ant could possibly have to say to me now. We were fine just awkwardly co-existing. Why did he have to spoil it? Why couldn't he just leave it alone?
"Hi," he said, looking amused for some reason, as if he knew something I didn't.
I stared up at him wondering what could have possessed him to call me over in front of everyone.
"Shall we go for a walk?" He spoke to me as though he had just found out I liked him but was too timid to say anything.
"No thanks," I said, not bothering to hide my disinterest. "What did you want?"
His blue eyes danced. "Mary told me that you've never had a boyfriend. I get now why you've been so shy around me. We can take it as slow as you like. It doesn't bother me that you're inexperienced."
My heart stalled inside my body.
I wanted to deny it and show him up by saying I'd had plenty of experience, but the lie wouldn't seem to come out.
He looked down at me like I was a child that needed to be looked after. He went to take a step forward, to comfort me or something stupid, when his eyes flicked up above my head suddenly.
The knowing smugness in them hardened and I immediately felt an all too familiar pressure at either side of my waist.
I placed my hands there in reflex and felt them land on large fingers and knuckle joints.
"You coming, Cheryl?" Sirius asked, his hands still resting on my body.
My pulse strummed at the sound of my name on his lips. I tried not to let Ant see how shocked I was by the contact.
Sirius seemed entertained by both of our reactions. I didn't know if he was doing this to save me or trying to make things worse. But Ant already looked like he didn't believe it. His patronising smirk was back.
"So do you want to come to the pub with me tomorrow?" he asked, ignoring the fact that Sirius was still attached to me.
I felt a rush of frustration that even after all of this he still refused to take the hint.
"See you later," I told him firmly, turning to walk with Sirius into the hall. His arm was still wrapped around me, making me feel simultaneously protected and on edge.
"So is that a no?" Ant called after us with a laugh. "I don't bite."
Anger boiled inside of me, itching to force its way out. I felt the urge to throw something hard and heavy at him.
Without a second's thought I threw my hands out to Sirius, pulling myself towards him. I would prove to Anthony that I wasn't scared.
My face got within inches of his lips before my mind went suddenly blank.
My initial splurge of adrenalin spluttered away as I looked at him. I had tugged him close enough that I could see every detail. Even in this close proximity he was frustratingly perfect.
The last time he had been this close was when he had pretended to kiss me in The Three Broomsticks what felt like eons ago now. But something seemed different about it this time. Sirius wasn't laughing.
We stood there for a second, my eyes glued to him while he studied me, waiting for me to make my move. I could sense Ant watching in utter confusion.
I had to do something. Anything. I couldn't just keep holding onto him like this. Why was he letting me? Too shocked to move?
His mouth lay just in front of my eye-line, flushed and inviting, but I just couldn't bring myself to meet it.
I was never going to kiss a boy, I realised. I was too scared. It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous.
A line formed between Sirius's eyebrows.
Before I knew what was happening, he had started to move. But not away from me as I'd originally thought.
He was taking control, closing the space between us.