I present Chapter 21, "The Nudge". Four (4) chapters to go ...
Thank you for reading and please review if you enjoy reading this ...
They were in love …
He couldn't figure out why hadn't considered them to be a romantic possibility before. Perhaps it was because Chandler had been mean to her when she was fat. Later, after she had lost the weight, Monica had "accidentally" cut off his toe.
Why was he having such a hard time accepting them as a couple?
Perhaps it was because they were so different. In his mind their differences seemed to deny them the possibility of being together.
Ross knew why he felt this way. What his sister and best friend now had was something that he once had. He wanted it back. Most days he would face destiny and deny her. It was like a cancer that slowly consumed his soul.
Standing in her kitchen he watched, staring, as if hypnotized by the display of affection between the adoring couple. He wanted them to be happy, but why did they have to be so happy in front of him?
He couldn't watch anymore. Looking for an escape, he eyed that favorite of balconies. Moving past the tangled pair he moved to climb through the window …
"Sorry …"
He stopped, waiting a moment before replying.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Ross had no right to ask them to stop, it wasn't his apartment and his sister deserved to be happy … even if it meant being happy with his best friend. Monica and Chandler were free to do what they wished. He couldn't let them know just how uncomfortable he was with it …
"It's OK Monica, this is your place. I'm just going to go out and get some fresh air."
Ross climbed through the window and onto the balcony, temporarily distancing himself from them. Looking out over the city he wondered. He wondered how things had ended up this way. He was alone, his wife was a lesbian and his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby. To top it off his sister was dating his best friend. If it weren't all true he could have written a book.
Ross tensed up as he felt a presence climb through the window. He had hoped to be alone … it just wasn't his day to get what he wanted. He had expected his sister but instead he got a not-so-gentle nudge …
"Are you OK?" asked Chandler.
Ross considered how best to answer. Since breaking up with Rachel he had become quite the introvert, not really enjoying talking about his feelings.
"Why do you ask?"
Chandler had always had the ability to see right through him. He knew that Ross was uncomfortable with his relationship with Monica, but he also knew that it was more than that. He was in conflict with himself. Ross's brain and heart were at odds and Chandler had had enough of seeing his friend in pain. Ross deserved to be happy. He was going to do as much as he could to make that happen …
"I don't know, maybe it's because you are so uncomfortable with me dating your sister? Maybe it's because every time you look at us you remember what you used to have … and its killing you? Maybe it's because you're in love with Rachel and she's carrying Mark's baby?
"Stop it, please!" begged Ross. Chandler knew him too well, but he wasn't finished … yet.
"And maybe it's because she wants you too but something inside you wouldn't let you be with her … and she hurts because of it?"
Ross said nothing, he simply stared out onto the city, hoping that his friend would go and leave him alone.
Chandler considered if he had gone too far … or perhaps not far enough. He felt compelled to act, to stop the madness between two of his best friends. It wouldn't be easy. He had Ross alone … it was time to make a stand. He had to force Ross to see things differently, through the eyes of his friends … and the woman he loved. He would have to betray them all …
"Rachel still loves you … very much."
"What?" asked Ross, surprised, as he looked over towards his old friend.
"Girls talk. She lives with your sister and she tells Monica a lot. Ross, don't you notice the way she looks at you when you're together? She loves you but she's hurt. She knows that you love her too, but can't understand why you reject the idea of you two being together."
"Chandler, I don't want to talk about it, please."
"Well you're going to talk about it! The rest of us are tired of seeing you and Rachel hurt each other, whether you mean to or not. I can understand why you had to leave after you broke up but I'm glad you came back. You and I have been friends for a long time. I missed you. "
"Chandler, you have Joey. You don't need me."
"How the hell can you say that Ross? You and I shared a dorm room through college … and we shared so much more. I would have never met your sister if it weren't for you! I had to listen to your endless rambling about how great Rachel was and how you much you longed to be with her. Now you have the opportunity to have everything you've ever wanted since you were 15 … and you're just going to let it pass. Sometimes you make no sense to me Mr. PhD!"
Chandler was frustrated. He paused and lowered his voice before continuing …
"Sometimes you only get one chance in life to live your dreams. Rachel is giving you a second chance dammit! Take it! Love her like you always have! You may never get another chance to be with her again."
Ross looked away from his old friend, shamed by the truth of his words. Each word cut like a knife. He lowered his head, fighting the tears.
Chandler, on the other hand could see that Ross had been weakened and that he should continue to press his friend to reconcile with Rachel. As he opened his mouth to continue he was interrupted …
"Chandler, I cheated on her and then I lied about it. She deserves better than me."
"Ross, don't you think that Rachel deserves to make that decision? Don't you think that she can decide what is best for herself? I know you feel a lot of guilt for sleeping with Chloe … but there comes a time when you have to let go and move on with your life. Imagine the good you could do for her. She thinks that she will be going through her pregnancy all alone… even when we tell her that we will all be there for her."
And then Chandler told Ross something that perhaps he shouldn't have …
"Ross, Rachel doesn't need you … she wants you. I remember the night that you left on your trip to China. I accidentally told her how you felt about her. You should have seen the look on her face. You were her best friend … she didn't know how to deal with the fact that you had been in love with her for so long. Can't you trust her enough to make the right decision … for her?"
"Chandler, it's not that easy. If we get back together I'll end up hurting her again."
"Ross, that's what forgiveness is for. Look, I haven't told you this … but I love your sister. I love Monica!"
Ross was visibly shaken by the revelation that his best friend was in love with his baby sister. Chandler had told Ross many times that he had never, ever been in love before. His legs buckled under the stress. Chandler grabbed his arm and supported him before he could fall to the floor of the balcony. Ross looked up to his old friend …
"You love her?"
"I do. I know that as her big brother I should have told you before … but I do love her."
"Wow." Is all Ross could say. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I'm telling you because in the past I've hurt Monica. If it were not for your sister's capacity to forgive … we would never have had a chance to be together. Don't you remember how badly I treated her when she was fat? Your sister is beautiful in more ways than one. She has a beautiful capacity to forgive …no matter what mistake I make. Rachel forgave you … when the hell are you going to forgive yourself, Ross?"
Ross had had enough. Chandler had asked just the right questions … at the wrong time. He needed to get out of there so he could think … and consider his words.
"Chandler, I've got to go." Replied Ross as he started to move toward the window. Before he could make it Chandler cut him off …
"Ross, she's going to find someone."
Ross stopped, halfway through the window, frozen in mid-step. He turned towards his friend and asked "What?"
Chandler took a few steps towards Ross, put his hand on his shoulder and said what he had to say …
"Eventually Rachel is going to find someone else. You told us that you left so that she could find someone else and be happy. Well she's found someone … you, but if you continue down this path she is eventually going to move on. There are a lot of guys out there who would love to be with her … even with her having a baby. Remember that the next time you see her."
At that Chandler inched past Ross through the window and sat next to Monica on the couch.
Monica was curious … "Is everything alright Chandler?"
Chandler paused as he watched Ross exit the balcony through the window. "I'm not sure Mon."
It took Ross a few moments to consider Chandler's words. He was right, eventually she would move on. It was what he wanted for her … to be happy, but why did Chandler's words cut so deep? 'Rachel's going to find someone else.' The words left him confused about his own feelings. He began to gather his things as he prepared to leave for his own apartment …
"Ross, you can keep running … but you can't hide from yourself and your feelings. Go, go back to your apartment and think. You know that I'm right." Shouted Chandler, leaving Monica a little startled.
"Thanks for the advice Chandler. I'm not going back to my apartment to think, I'm going to drop my stuff off and then go visit my friends Ari and Esther at the home. I've been so busy traveling that I haven't seen them in months.
Just as Ross turned to leave the phone rang … and rang again. Ross looked over at his sister and best friend who were in the middle of some serious kissing. Ross rolled his eyes …
"Would you like me to get that?" He asked.
"Please, if you don't mind." replied Monica.
Ross dropped his things on the table and answered the phone. After a few moments of listening, Ross replied …
"No, she's not here right now, can I take a message?"
Monica and Chandler stopped kissing for a moment and looked over at Ross. He pulled out a pad and pen and started taking down a message. After the phone call was over Ross put down the phone and stared at the piece of paper he had just written on. Moments passed …
Monica was concerned … "Is everything alright?"
Ross continued to stare at the note. It was like deja-vu. A part of him wanted to throw it away. Ross looked up and responded with a fake smile …"Yeah, everything's fine."
Ross then carefully placed the note next to the phone and gathered up his things. As he approached the door the doorknob turned and Rachel entered, tired from a long day at work.
Noticing Ross, she greeted him with a smile. "Hey."
"Hi." He replied. "There's a message for you over there by the phone."
"Thanks. Are you sticking around for a while?" she asked.
After a moment of careful consideration he replied …"No, I think I better get going. Bye Monica, bye Chandler. Bye Rach."
"Bye Ross" they both replied as Ross made a hasty retreat from the apartment.
"Bye Ross." Replied Rachel, standing there in her coat, confused. "That was strange." She muttered as she reached for the message Ross had left. Rachel picked up the message and read over it, quickly. For some reason she started to panic.
Monica and Chandler watched from couch. Noting her raised anxiety they became concerned …
"Rachel, what's wrong?" Asked Monica.
"Nothing, nothings wrong." She muttered as she quickly dialed the number on the note. "Did Ross say where he was going before he left?"
Chandler considered his talk on the balcony with Ross to be a failure. He hoped that Rachel would be more susceptible to being 'nudged'. Perhaps he could get Rachel to talk to Ross. He was the first to reply to her question …
"Yeah, after he took your phone message he told us that he was going to drop his stuff off at his apartment before he went out to visit a girlfriend. For some reason he seemed pretty upset about something."
"A girlfriend?" Asked Rachel, quickly hanging up the phone.
Monica looked to respond, not understanding why Chandler had lied to Rachel. Chandler grabbed her arm to get her attention begging her with his eyes to let him continue.
"Yeah, I think her name is Esther or something. If you need to talk to Ross you better hurry and catch him before he leaves his apartment."
Rachel considered what to do. She ran to her room and threw her things on the bed. Emerging from the bedroom she ran to the door and left …
"Chandler, why did you lie to her?"
"Mon, aren't you sick and tired of seeing your brother and best friend unhappy? They love each other. They should be together."
"Chandler, we agreed that we were not going to get involved or interfere with Ross and Rachel's situation! You agreed!"
Chandler was not swayed by Monica's argument. He had agreed not to interfere … but he had changed his mind. He knew he was right.
"Monica, I don't agree anymore. We all know they should be together, even Rachel knows it. It's your brother's fear of hurting her again and the 'We were on a break' guilt that's keeping them apart. I believe that if they spend more time together Ross will finally be open to take another chance."
And then he told Monica of his own dilemma …
"Mon, which is worse, do nothing and watch your friends suffer day-to-day, ignoring their feelings for each other or get involved and try to help? I gambled and I took a chance. I hurt no one. All I did was give them a nudge. It's up to them now."