I had not expected Harry or Ron to return to Hogwarts with me after Voldemort's defeat. The three of us had just spent the past year living out on our own, leading the resistance against the rising tide of Dark magic, and I suppose by comparison sitting in a classroom and revising for exams was bound to seem a bit dull. I had tried to convince them that it would be worth coming back to school to get N.E.W.T.s, but with job offers from the Auror Office already, these efforts were naturally doomed to failure.
Even with the extra students staying on another year, there still weren't as many of us as there had been. More than a few students had been killed in the final battle, and more still were too seriously injured to make an immediate return to Hogwarts. Those that were left were quieter, more subdued; some lessons had less than half the number of students there had been previously.
"Look at this!" said Ernie, coming into Potions with the morning's Daily Prophet. "It says here that the Malfoys got off scot-free!"
He set the paper down in front of us on the front bench. The Potions class was tiny now. I was sitting with the two remaining Ravenclaws, Michael Corner and Su Li. Nott, the only Slytherin, was sitting by himself at the table behind us.
"You're kidding!" said Michael.
"Look at Malfoy's face," said Ernie.
I did: in the photograph Malfoy looked pale and shaky. You could almost smell his relief.
"It's disgusting," said Michael. "After all they did."
"I certainly got the impression that they were deeply involved in You Know Who's activities," said Ernie. "I mean, he made their home his headquarters. You've got to think that they must have committed some awful acts there at some point during that time."
"Well, money can buy you out of a lot of unpleasant situations, it seems," said Michael bitterly. "I thought that would have changed, but clearly it hasn't."
"You think they bribed the Wizengamot then?" said Ernie.
"I can't think how else they would have got off," Michael replied. "Lucius Malfoy was right in You Know Who's inner circle, everyone knows that."
"Narcissa Malfoy did lie about Harry being alive," I said. I caught Nott looking around at me, but his expression was difficult to read. I'd always wondered about him; his father was a Death Eater, but he was no fool.
"Big deal," said Michael. "I'm sorry, I just hate that they're getting away with it. I thought things were different now, but all that's changed is they've removed the Dementors from Azkaban. How do we even know but they're investigating properly?"
"They are very stretched at the moment," I said. "That's why they were so keen to take on Ron and Harry right away."
"And you…?"
"Well," I said, embarrassed. "That would have been an option, yes, but I really wanted to come back to Hogwarts and formally finish my education."
"So Harry and Ron are rounding up Death Eaters?" Ernie said. "What an incredible development opportunity!"
"What are they actually doing?" asked Michael interestedly. "Day to day, I mean."
"They're investigating people who may have been involved without bringing attention to themselves. There were a lot more Death Eaters than just the ones we know the names of, and they're trying to track them all down. Ron's been assembling evidence against people, and Harry's part of the task force going after them."
"He's actually going on raids?"
"Yes. Actually, Harry just managed to stop one unmasked Death Eater from fleeing to Croatia by Portkey."
"That's a big problem, isn't it?" said Ernie importantly. "People leaving the country." Behind him Nott was affecting a bored expression, although I could tell that he was listening to every word.
"Less so with the more anonymous Death Eaters," I said. "As leaving is tantamount to declaring that you were a Death Eater, most of them are taking a chance and sitting tight."
"Is that what you're doing, Nott? Lying low for a bit?"
"Hey," I said. I'd never understood the deliberate antagonism of the Slytherins. I knew from experience that most of them weren't very nice people, but picking fights with them was pointless. And I'd never stopped hoping that some of them at least were decent; when the Sorting Hat had sung about the houses all working together, I had truly wanted the Slytherins to be part of that too. Well, maybe not Pansy Parkinson, or Malfoy, but some of them anyway.
"It was a joke," said Michael."But I wouldn't be surprised."
Nott turned away, a half-sneer on his face.
"Don't bother to deny it, will you."
Nott sat there indifferently.
"Still thinks he's better than us, doesn't he?"
"Let's not start this," I said. "There's no need." Despite his family I'd always hoped that Theodore Nott was different. I'd never really wanted to test this theory, though, and I rather suspected that this might be because I was afraid that I'd be disappointed.
"Merlin, whose side are you on?" grumbled Michael.
"If we could just stop thinking in terms of sides..." I said.
"I used to think that too," Michael said. "But you weren't here last year. People committed unforgivable crimes and performed utterly foul curses on their fellow students. And now they want us to forget that and carry on like nothing's wrong."
He walked over to Nott and slammed the paper down in front of him; it was folded over to an article on the sentencing of Josiah Baddock, who'd been in the year above us, in Slytherin. He had tortured and murdered a young family. "How can you come back here, acting like nothing's happened?" He was up in Nott's face, refusing to move until he got an answer.
"But I haven't done anything," Nott said, finally. He looked tired, defenceless, like a snail being slowly poked out of its shell.
"You haven't?" said Michael. "But Nott, we remember those detentions. The Cruciatus Curse."
"They forced us to do it."
"Funny," said Michael. "Not everyone went along with it, despite being 'forced'. You could have refused – what would they have done to you? You, of all people?"
"Look, I'm not proud of it," Nott said. "But I was scared, and I didn't know what to do. I don't think I really hurt anyone, though."
"Not for want of trying," said Michael. "You just weren't very good at it." He smirked. "I've had papercuts that hurt more than your Cruciatus."
Nott glared at Michael but didn't say anything. It wasn't as though I didn't understand where Michael's anger was coming from, but still, the force of it took me aback.
"Was your dad disappointed?" Michael said. "By how weak you turned out to be? Or was he too gaga to notice by that point?"
"My father's dead," said Nott. "You mind what you say."
"Are you threatening me? Hate to break this to you, but the days you could do that are long gone."
"No, I'm not threatening you," said Nott wearily, before adding sourly, "You've made it quite clear what you think of me and my family, so I'm asking to you to please just leave me alone."
"Leave you alone?" said Michael. "I reckon all those Muggleborns your dad was after, I reckon they'd have liked to have been left alone, but their only options were to fight or flee."
"That was nothing to do with me," said Nott. "Look, I know you want someone to blame-"
"Why shouldn't I?" said Michael hotly.
"By all means," said Nott with mock politeness. "Blame the Dark Lord and his followers for the damage they wreaked. But I wasn't a Death Eater, and I never fought on the side of the Dark Lord."
"Says who?" said Michael aggressively.
"The Ministry," said Nott. There was a sharp intake of breath; Ernie blinked.
"You were investigated?" Micheal said.
Nott scowled slightly, but said, "We all were, Corner. Everyone with a close family connection to the Death Eaters. I've never hidden my family's connection with the Dark Lord. But I didn't choose it, nor did I try extend it. Am I supposed to apologise my whole life for the family I was born into?"
"You're sticking up for them!" Michael spat.
"No," said Nott. "I just don't agree with you completely. Merlin forbid you get a more nuanced picture of this civil war."
"Oh, is that what it is?" said Michael. "Because it sounds like you're trying to defend the indefensible and I don't think that there are that many people that would do that. It marks you out, as it were."
Nott glared at him. "The Ministry didn't think they needed to detain me beyond their initial investigation, so I don't know why that isn't good enough for you too," he said with as much dignity as he could.
"The Ministry let a lot of people go that they shouldn't have," said Michael, nodding at the paper. "Case in point, the Malfoys."
Nott looked as though he was about to interject, but I said quickly, "I think everyone should calm down."
"You don't understand, Hermione," Michael said.
"Why bother? Why try to provoke him?"
"You weren't here."
"So? What's done is done. There will be no hiding, eventually, and the guilty will have to pay for their crimes."
"But he doesn't believe he is guilty, and nor do the others!" Michael howled. "It's normal to them. They don't make a distinction between Dark and regular magic, like normal people. They consider a wizard who's Dark more accomplished, because he can do things other wizards can't. They consider it a matter of skill, not ethics."
"Well, I don't know how you lot decide who's a Dark wizard and who's not," Nott said. "But Potter's done some very Dark spells, very Dark indeed, but nobody talks about that. You have to harness a lot of negative energy to use Sectumsempra, and Draco's still got the scars from that, you know, when Potter attacked him, despite Snape acting so quickly. Potter used the Cruciatus Curse on Death Eaters too."
Ernie cleared his throat. "I cannot believe that this is something we would even be discussing. Here, Now. Four months ago, fifty people died at Hogwarts."
"More than that," Nott said. "If you count the Death Eaters and those who fought on their side."
"Funnily enough, we don't," said Michael.
"Disagree with them all you want," said Nott. "But you deny they're human and you've lost me – am I supposed to rejoice that my parents are dead? Or at the very least, pretend I don't care?" None of us knew what to say, so Nott went on, pressing his advantage in the silence. "Potter's shown that he would use Dark Magic. He's not so different from the Death Eaters."
"How can you even say that?" Michael shouted. "They wanted to wipe out Muggleborns. They thought Muggles were animals. "
"I'm not saying I approve of their politics."
"It's not just politics!" Michael shouted.
"Really?" Nott paused, looking round at us, and then went on, "Because from here it seems as though there's one standard for those on your side, another for the people you're fighting. And they are people, even though sometimes I think you'd rather forget it. I've been raised to respect Dark magic, but you lot don't seem to have a problem with it unless it's being used by someone you don't like."
"Remember Terry and Anthony? Who used to sit here in this class? Terry's still abroad somewhere with his Muggle family and Anthony's still in St. Mungo's. He'll be lucky if he can walk again. Dolohov did that to him. He and your father go way back, don't they?"
Just then Profession Slughorn walked in, oblivious.
"Good morning!" he cried. "Dear me, we are so few! Only five? I wonder, Mr. Nott, if you would mind moving across to join the others? Perfect! This is much more chummy."
Nott cast a nervous, spidery glance over at us and slowly moved his things over to our bench, pushing his bag over with his foot. Michael shifted up rather further than he need have done.
"I'm sorry Goldstein was injured," Nott muttered, after Professor Slughorn had turned to start writing on the board. "I didn't know. Does he seem to be getting better?"
"Why do you care?" hissed Michael.
"I liked Goldstein. He was never rude to me because of who my father was," Nott said pointedly.
"Unlike you," Michael said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Nott.
"As if you've never said the M-word." Michael whispered furiously.
"I'll say what I damn well please in private," Nott said bitterly. "But I've always been courteous to Muggleborns." He looked over at me but did not say anything further.
"Courteous my left Bludger," said Michael belligerently.
"A little too much noise back there," said Professor Slughorn jovially. "I know it's the first day back and you're all longing for a good chinwag, but let's save it for after Potions, shall we? Now, can anyone tell me about the difference between potion strength and concentration with reference to the Enlightening Elixir?"
I'd just been reading about that! I raised my hand.
Professor Slughorn smiled. "Why, of course, Miss Granger will tell us," he said.