Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is property of J.K Rowling Warner Bros, Scholastic and whoever else owns it.
Author's Notes: Well here is the next chapter, sorry its taken so long, please read and review!
Dedications: This chapter is dedicated to Ela / Padfoot's Mate for helping me out when I needed it; she is the only reason why I could finally update! So a huge thanks goes to you, thank you very much for your help with the chapter Padfoot's Mate, I really do appreciate it very much!
Year 1971, 1st Year
Remus Rants:
Quote of the Day: 'Every one of us has courage somewhere deep inside, we only have to find it…
The first year went by so fast that what I remember now are only a couple of specific events in a blur of all the years I spent at Hogwarts.
Inevitably, Hogwarts turned out to be the best years of my life.
Despite my transformations, I was having the best time that I'd ever had.
Sirius, James and Peter were the best friends a person could want and when I was with them I almost felt entirely free of my condition. My friends had a way of making me forget about the werewolf and for the first time in my life I felt like I belongedsomewhere.
Under the guidance of friendship I was transforming in more ways than one, I wasn't the little pale boy who was scared of his own shadow anymore; I was slowly becoming Remus John Lupin, my own person, and not subjected to the wolf inside me all the time. I was growing into the boy that I had always longed to be, the boy who would stare at the beauty of the stars every night and cherish the fact that they were there, the boy who laughed when he was surrounded by his friends, the boy who suggested and helped with pranks, the boy who loved to learn and fill his mind with wonderful knowledge, the boy who lived life and cherished friendship, and most of all, the boy who I had been before I had been bitten.
It almost felt as if I'd never been bitten at all and the horrible nightmare that took place within my body every month was just a dream. But of course, there came the painful reminder every month that I wasn't living a dream life and my condition was as strong as it ever was, raging inside me. It was on the nights of the full moon when I mourned not being with my friends the most. But I found myself a little more hopeful each month with my growing friendship.
It was that day of the month again on a wet day in November and I was cherishing the last moments I would have before the moon rose and the world would go dark and the wolf had ultimate control and power.
I had been troubled a bit of late; I was finding it harder and harder each month to lie to my friends. Indeed, it wasn't just the lying part I hated; it was the actual thinking up of a lie that I hated as well. So far I had told them my mum was really sick, and that my aunty had died, and this time I had no idea what I would tell them.
I was pondering exactly this in the middle of a History of Magic lesson when suddenly a voice broke into my thoughts.
"Hey Remus, want to do a prank tonight?" Sirius asked from beside me, leaning sideways in his chair to talk to me "Me, James and Pete are planning one."
I looked over at Sirius. I wished that I could have said yes to the happy, lively boy sitting next to me, but I had to tell him no. No I can't because I'm going to turn into a hideous werewolf tonight, Sirius.
I wondered how that would go down.
"Wish I could," I replied, I tried to think of an explanation that Sirius might believe. Sirius was especially hard to convince, and he always asked questions. "But I have to visit my dad in hospital, he's really sick," I said, instantly regretting it. Plus I wasn't the world's best liar. Sometimes it surprised even me that Sirius, James and Peter could be fooled by my worst lies.
"Oh," was all he said, he sat back in his chair, pondered for a moment, and then, as if he had come to a conclusion, leaned sideways again to talk to me, "What's the matter with your old man, if you don't mind me asking?" Sirius asked. By now Peter and James were also listening in.
"Oh," I had been expecting this, but that didn't mean I was anymore prepared for it, "Er- he, he was bitten by a deadly snake and had to be rushed to hospital."
Yep. That would definitely qualify in my top ten list of The Stupidest And Most Unbelievable Lies Ever Told.
"That's no good," Peter said. Peter always seemed to buy my lies, no matter how bad they were.
"I think he should be all right," I replied.
"That's good then," James said. Sirius just looked at me. The way he does when he's thinking hard. It feels like sometimes when he looks at me he can see right through me; see what I'm thinking. It's really unnerving sometimes. I looked away from him.
A couple of minutes later a note landed on my table, it was from Sirius.
So, what sort of snake was this, that bit your dad? – Sirius
Sharp, was Sirius Black. Never accepted one answer.
That's one of the things that really worried me about Sirius. He's very clever and I knew that half of my lies never slipped by him, but he accepted them nonetheless.
They didn't tell me what type it was Sirius
I wrote back.
Oh. That's too bad then. I know some spells for snakebites, I should know after all; my family is filled with serpents. Ho ho.
I laughed and shook my head, Sirius and his lame sense of humour.
Remind me to laugh next time. That was so lame Sirius.
I wrote back, soon forgetting exactly why we started writing notes in the first place.
Hey! At least I tried. I don't see you making any jokes. We could all use one, what with Binns droning on. What have we got next?
"Defence Against the Dark Arts." I told Sirius.
"Finally! A class where we might be able to do something, and learn something valuable," Sirius said.
"You learning something valuable Sirius?" James questioned, arching an eyebrow "I highly doubt it." I joined in with Peter and laughed.
"Watch what you say Potter, the next spell we learn might be how to turn one's nose into a pumpkin," Sirius said.
"I've already learnt that one," James replied.
"Have not," Sirius retorted.
"I have! I'll show you if you really want."
But, fortunately, (or unfortunately, whichever way you look at it, the idea of Sirius sporting a pumpkin nose was wickedly amusing) the signal went for the next class and James didn't have a chance to sport his so-called spell that would turn one's nose into a pumpkin.
Unfortunately.
As we were walking to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom Sirius walked alongside me and tried to steer the conversation towards my 'sick' father.
"So, you know, how long do you reckon you'll be visiting your dad?" Sirius asked casually, glancing sidelong at me.
"Sirius, I have no idea! Does it look like I can predict the future to you?!" I said a little icily, getting fed up with his constant questioning.
"Right." Sirius replied, "right." He repeated again. "I… I just wanted to know, you know. But if you don't want to tell me…"
"No, I don't want to tell you! So stop bloody asking!" I snapped.
Sirius looked at me surprised for a moment, then he dropped back to talk to James.
I felt bad that I had talked to Sirius like that but I couldn't apologise now. I knew I had been a little harsh to him but I was getting irritated with his questions.
"All right boys?" Professor Bones asked when we entered the classroom. We murmured a reply.
"All right Remus?" Professor Bones asked, noticing that I was a little distracted. I nodded quietly before sitting down at a desk next to Peter. Professor Bones always referred to us by our first names; I kind of appreciated him for that, it was a nice change from the usual formal 'Mr. Lupin' that the other Professors called me.
When the rest of the class had taken their seats Professor Bones began talking again, "Today, we'll be learning about basic dark creatures, these include Griffins, Hippogriffs and Graphorns. I want you to separate into pairs and turn to Chapter Twelve on Basic Dark Creatures page 137, where you will find information on these creatures, each of the pairs will summarize information on one creature and then we will do a little exercise. I will be seeing each pair separately to tell you which dark creature you are to research."
After he had finished talking the class formed into pairs. I turned to Peter, expecting to pair with him, as we always did in Defence classes, but instead James stood where Peter had been seconds before, and Peter, surprisingly, was pairing with Sirius. I looked at Peter in question but he just smiled back at me.
"Mind if I go with you?" James asked, mussing up his hair. I shrugged in answer and opened my book to page 137.
"Right boys, your creature is the Acromantula," Professor Bones said to us, whilst writing something down on a piece of parchment.
"So, Remus…" James started talking the instant Professor Bones had moved away, "how's school going?"
I looked at James strangely. How was school going? Even I could have thought of better conversation starter than that. I mean, I had basically every class with him so he must have a fair idea. But then again, this is James Potter we're talking about here.
One could never tell.
James grinned at me, "Sorry, I was just trying to make conversation… and I'm failing miserably obviously... Look, you know that the only reason Sirius asks all those questions is because he's a curious little git, and well, he's concerned as well… so am I."
I took a while to reply, "I know James. But it's just… it gets annoying. I mean, he just asks too many things, and I get sick of it, I know he means well…"
"Yeah, Sirius can get annoying, but that's his job really," James grinned at me. I smiled a little. "But really, Remus, it's hard to tell what's going on with you. You never tell us much…"
That was true enough; I'd never really opened up to any of them. Partly this was because of my condition; I felt that if I told them too much then they might find out about me and then they'd never be my friends.
"What is there to tell?"
"Well, anything, whatever you feel like, you know we'll always listen. You listen to us whenever we need to rant so it's only fair if we return the favour. You can tell us whatever you feel like." James replied.
If only I could. Oh how much they didn't know.
And wouldn't want to know.
"Thanks a lot James. I appreciate it." I replied genuinely, looking at him.
"Well, you know, that's what friends are for Remus." James grinned back.
It was really the first time I'd ever connected with James Potter in such a way. Sure, we had talked and did things together before, but he always seemed a little more distant to me than Sirius and Peter did. I talked and connected with Peter and Sirius more than I've ever done so with James, and seeing as James and Sirius were getting along so well, James and I had never really gotten a chance to develop our own friendship yet. Until now. Now, as James had said those words to me I realized that James and I did have a connection of sorts. Even if it felt like we had nothing in common. We were starting to build up a friendship that would last through our Hogwarts years and beyond.
"Yeah. I know…"
"So, you got anything to get off your chest then?" James asked.
"No, not at the moment…" I lied. I didn't want to elaborate on the lie I had told about my dad being in hospital.
"Come on Remus. You must have something. What's annoying you? You can't tell me that everything's fine. What about Sirius? He's annoying." James joked.
I half-laughed. "I already told you about Sirius."
"Well, what about… say, school… um… girls?"
I raised my eyebrow at James. Girls? I'd never even thought about girls. I was, after all, only young, and they didn't particularly interest me at the moment, but some of them were good to have as friends.
James grinned at me sheepishly, "Guess not then. Oh, I know. What about Crevan? He's a right git to you,"
"True. I just wish I were better at Potions… Now that's something I hate. Potions. I mean, what's the point of the stupid subject anyway? I'm no good at it anyway, and Crevan breathing down my neck just makes it worse…" Once I started talking I found that I did need to get things off my chest, "He doesn't even bother you and Peter, but if it's me, then everything's wrong. He's a stupid git. And have you seen the stuff he wears? I mean, he looks like he bought his clothes in an antique shop for Merlin's sake! He's just ridiculous; I can understand why Sirius doesn't like him!" I finished.
James looked at me, surprised, "Wow… You really hate Crevan, don't you?" he asked. I nodded sheepishly. "See how good it makes you feel to get things off your chest?"
I grinned and nodded. In a way, it did make me feel a little better. If only I could tell him more.
But that was too much of a risk.
"All right class," Professor Bones was standing at the front of the classroom, "That should have been ample time to learn about your creature."
The Acromantula! I had forgotten all about what we were meant to be doing! I looked at James, who was just smiling like an idiot.
"James!" I groaned, "Why didn't you tell me to shut up? Now we know nothing about that stupid spider thing!"
"Don't worry about it Remus. Getting things off your chest is more important than a stupid spider we'll never encounter anyway."
He did have a point.
"Right then," Professor Bones was still talking, "I have a little exercise that should be fun. First I will ask a pair to come out the front, and then you will state a fact about your creature, for example, things like 'I live mainly in Japan', and whoever guesses your creature gets a prize. Mind, don't make your facts too obvious, we want to learn something about it first, so no 'I have eight legs' or anything like that."
"Bugger!" James whispered.
"Right then, Remus and James, you two first," Professor Bones indicated to us. I groaned. What the heck did I know about Acromantulas? And what was worse, I hated getting up in front of the class. Though it wasn't so bad getting up with James.
We stood up and made our way to the front of the class.
"All right, you can take turns in stating facts if you like," Professor Bones said, leaning against his desk.
"Er…" James said, "Um, I am enormous…"
"Too right!" Sirius said, smirking. The class started laughing. James glared at Sirius then poked his tongue out at him.
"Your turn Remus." Professor Bones said.
"Right, um, I'm black," I said.
"And hairy," James added.
"A werewolf!" Sirius yelled. I felt myself paling.
"Werewolves aren't black, Sirius." James said.
"They could be!" Sirius retorted.
"It's not a werewolf Mr. Black. Where do you live?" Professor Bones asked James and I, with an arched eyebrow. He knew that we had not done the research.
"Um…" Where the heck did Acromantulas live? "In a hole in the ground," I guessed.
"Okay boys, you can sit down now," I breathed a sigh of relief. James and I made our way back to our seats.
"Good job," Sirius joked as we sat down.
"The Acromantula," Professor Bones said, staring pointedly at James and I, while pacing the front of the classroom, "In fact, is commonly found, write this down please, in dense forests and jungles. It is a monstrous eight eyed spider. It originated in Borneo jungles. The Acromantula is capable of human speech. It is carnivorous and prefers large prey. It is in the top category of the Ministry of Magic classification, having five crosses, which means it's a known wizard killer and impossible to domesticate. I want you all to write down some other facts about the Acromantula for Monday please." Professor Bones said. "All right, now it's Sirius' and Peter's turn. Up you get boys."
Sirius and Peter stood up and made their way to the front.
"Right, I have a Ministry of Magic classification of three crosses," Sirius said.
"I would too if I looked like you," James said, grinning at Sirius.
"Shut up Potter." Sirius said.
"Peter, a fact if you please," Professor Bones cut in.
"I'm native to Europe,"
"A Glumbumble?" Lily Evans suggested.
"Nope, sorry my pretty," Sirius replied. Lily glowered at Sirius. "I can fly."
"You wish you could," James said.
"A fwooper?" Alexandra, a Gryffindor, suggested.
"Wrong again," Sirius said in a weird accent, winking at her.
"I'm cross between a horse and an eagle," Peter said.
I knew the answer.
"A Hippogriff!" Lily said.
"Right you are." Sirius said.
Professor Bones threw her a sugar quill, "Very good Lily. All right, thanks for that boys. Hippogriffs can be tamed by wizards. When approaching a Hippogriff one should always maintain eye contact and try not to blink, first you have to bow, which shows good intentions, and if it bows back it is safe to walk closer. But if it doesn't you should back away." Professor Bones said whilst the class scribbled it down. "All right, Lily and Alexandra, you're up."
Lily and Alex stood up and walked to the front of the class.
"Okay, I have a Ministry of Magic classification of four crosses, which means I am dangerous…" Lily said.
"You're not that scary Evans," James said grinning. Sirius laughed. Lily glared at James.
"I originated in Greece," Alexandra said.
"Athens," Sirius snorted. The girls rolled their eyes. The class laughed.
"Athens isn't a creature, it's a city." Lily said disdainfully.
"All right. I am often employed by wizards to guard treasure," Alexandra said.
"A sphinx!" Aidan Yates, a Ravenclaw boy, said.
"No. I feed on raw meat," Lily said.
"Do you?" James replied unbelievingly.
"Shut up Potter!" Lily said.
"I have the head of a giant eagle." Alexandra said.
"A Griffin!" Sirius yelled. Alexandra nodded. Professor Bones threw a Sugar Quill at Sirius. "Woohoo!" he cried, "Thanks Sir!"
"All right, very good Sirius," Professor Bones said, "You may sit down now girls."
For the rest of the lesson more pairs got up and we tried to guess what creature they were talking about. James and Sirius, of course, couldn't help themselves in making stupid comments.
Just as the last pair were finishing up the signal for the end of class went. I was regretful because the class had been so enjoyable and it made me forget about what I had to do tonight. When the bell went I was reminded again that it was the night of the full moon. And the time of its rising was getting ever closer. As we packed up to go Professor Bones gave out the rest of his Sugar Quills to those who hadn't gotten any before, including me.
"Remus, I'd like to see you for a moment please," Professor Bones said as he handed out his last Sugar Quill.
"Do you want us to wait?" James asked, as he stood with Sirius and Peter.
"No, I'll be all right," I said. In a way this was a good thing, as I didn't have to answer any of the other boy's questions about why I was so pale and nervous and about my dad.
"Okay," James said, and then he, Sirius and Peter made their way for the door.
"Shut the door on the way out please boys," Professor Bones said. They did so.
I walked to where Professor Bones was leaning on the edge of his desk.
I started to apologise, thinking that he had wanted to see me about why James and I hadn't done our work, "I'm sorry Sir, but we were, well, we were talking, and time got away from us and-"
Professor Bones cut me off, "That's not what I wanted to see you about Remus. Don't worry, I understand. I was just wondering how you're feeling." I looked up at Professor Bones, "I know tonight's the full moon and you don't look very well."
"I…I… I'm okay…" I lied. He saw straight through me.
"No you're not," Professor Bones said, looking at me, "but that's okay. I know it takes an extraordinary amount of courage and resilience to go through what you do every month Remus. It's a lot to be burdened with."
"No it doesn't." I whispered, looking at the ground.
"Doesn't what?"
"It doesn't take courage. I can't fight it. It's not courage that gets me through… I am not brave…"
"Remus, look at me," Professor Bones said softly.
Slowly, ever-so-slowly, I met his eyes.
"You, of all the wizards I've ever met in my life, are the one who has shown the most courage. It takes an astonishing amount of bravery and strength of will to do what you do every month. I've never seen that much strength and courage in anyone before, let alone an eleven year old boy. It is astounding how much you bear each month. Don't think of what you go through in any other way. You are an extraordinary person Remus, and I value that. Please remember that." Professor Bones finished. I looked into his eyes, and saw that what he was saying he believed in very strongly. He offered me comfort and warmth, courage and hope.
I felt I couldn't say anything to that. I was speechless.
"You can go now Remus." Professor Bones said.
I looked at him. "Thank you Sir." I said finally, meaning every word. "Thank you." I said again softly. I turned to leave.
Once I had reached the door I heard Professor Bones' voice again, "You have the strength Remus. Use it."
I opened the door and went out.
As I walked back to the Gryffindor tower passing people on their way to dinner, I felt in a daze. No one had ever said such words to me in all my life. No one had ever said that I had courage, strength of will, in that way. Slowly, some small part of me inside started to believe it. I did have courage. I was brave. I did have strength.
I just had to find it.
7 7 7
I sat silently on the cold and unwelcoming wooden floor, shivering with fear.
I was in the shack waiting for the moon to come up.
Madam Pomfrey had taken me here early this month, she wanted to make sure that there was no chance of me transforming while I was still above ground.
The sun was still in the sky when I slid down into the tunnel of the shack.
Twilight crept into the cold room, lighting up the corners of the dusty room with a reddish hue. It wouldn't be long now. Not long at all. I shivered fiercely.
Slowly, silently, the sun went down and night settled in. The corners darkened. The floor went black. Everything was dark.
Suddenly I knew the moon was rising. I felt it in my bones. A freezing, spine-chilling feeling.
Soon. Now. A voice said in my head.
Now. Now I will come. Now Remus.
I didn't want the wolf to come, but it was useless. So useless. I was helpless. I tried to gather all my strength, my will, my courage. But it was hopeless. I drew on every memory, every thought, every happy feeling I ever had, but it was still hopeless.
I thought of James. James telling me that I could tell him anything. James, with that look of absolute joy on his face as he flew in the sky, free as a bird.
Sirius as he grinned a grin only Sirius could get away with. Sirius as he told me he was sorry.
I thought of Peter, smiling boyishly with a twinkle in his light blue eyes. The sound of his laughing echoed through my head.
I could feel the pain. The gut wrenching pain of my bones transforming, could hear the loud cracking sound as they transformed into that of a wolf's.
A voice echoed in my head.
Remus, you can't escape. You'll never escape. I am you.
I tried my hardest to block it out. Tried and tried. I thought of the sky, the bright stars shining like beacons of light into the heavens. My father smiling at me as he told me the story of the Centaur's star. My mother, holding me protectively in her arms. Professor Bones' words echoed through my head
You have the strength Remus. Use it.
Where was that strength now? Where? Thoughts, feeling, emotions, voices, faces and memories whirled around in my head. The pain kept coming. The voice, I'm not sure if it was my voice, or the wolf's, but the voice I heard as well. And all the while the pain, the unbearable pain, ripped through my body as the wolf took its form.
My mind and all it held- memories of happy times, of friends and family, and smiling faces, emotions and feelings, all slipped away. I was slipping away. Remus Lupin, the small pale boy, whose eyes shone with happiness as he laughed with his friends, was slipping away.
The monster had come.
And Remus Lupin, that small, friendly, slightly shy boy knew no more.
7 7 7
I saw a man, a tall, knightly-looking man with light russet hair. His armour glinted in the fading daylight as he swung a gleaming sword at his enemy. I could not see his face. His back was turned from me but I could see that he was very powerful and swift. I seen this as he blocked a blow of his foe's axe with his sword. He surged forward, his sword poised at his enemy's heart, ready to give the final blow. A blow that would end only in death.
Suddenly, the knight stopped.
He fell to his knees, holding his heart. His sword clattered as it hit the ground.
The attacker had hurled a hidden dagger at the knight's chest in a desperate last minute act to save his own life.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the knight turned around. I saw his face.
It was a familiar face. And then I realized.
That man was me.
I stared at him as he fell to the ground, sinking into the mud, helpless. His life ended with one final blow of his attacker's axe. I looked at his attacker. He was a dark man, a glint of malice in his amber coloured eyes.
Slowly, the setting around me was changing. The knight that was me vanished, and I was surrounded by tall oak trees.
It was dark and the eerie light of the moon bathed the forest in an unearthly light. It dawned upon me that I knew this forest. This was the same forest that I had spent so many days in as a young boy.
The same forest where I had been bitten.
Suddenly, the dark man with amber eyes was transforming. He began to grow longer hair. His nose was transforming into what looked like a snout.
I knew the transformation.
I watched, bolted to the ground in horror as the bones in his body cracked and took the shape of a wolf.
I knew that pain. The pain he was feeling.
Suddenly, when the transformation was complete, the wolf gave an earsplitting howl. It turned towards me; its amber eyes showing malice and hate. I had seen this werewolf before; it was the werewolf that had clenched its jaws around my body as I screamed helplessly as a young boy. Suddenly, its eyes glinting, the werewolf charged at me.
And all I could do was stand there helplessly, my legs like lead and unable to form steps, while the werewolf, with its snapping jaws, ran at me.
I screamed.
Remus… Remus… Remus…
"Remus!" A voice cried out cutting over the loud sounds of someone screaming.
Who was screaming so loud?
Then I realized it was my own voice. I was the one screaming.
"Remus!" The voice said again.
My eyes shot open as I struggled to focus on my surroundings; blearily I could make out people standing above me. I stopped screaming. My eyes went in and out of focus and someone poured a foul tasting liquid down my throat.
Slowly, my eyes went back into focus and I could make out the people standing around me. There was Madam Pomfrey holding a brown bottle in her hands, looking down at me with distress, next to Madam Pomfrey stood Professor Bones, his gaze written with concern. I looked at them, dazed.
"Remus, thank Merlin you're safe," Professor Bones said in relief.
"I… I…" I couldn't reply. My throat felt completely dry and raspy and I could not form words, let alone sentences.
Madam Pomfrey held my chin and poured another liquid down my throat, it burned all the way down and then I could feel the dryness leaving my throat and the throbbing pain in my body dulled.
"We didn't know when you'd wake," Professor Bones said quietly, as Madam Pomfrey left the room, no doubt to retrieve some chocolate.
"I… I was… I didn't know either," I replied as the horrible dreams came flooding back to me. The knight sliding down into the mud, murdered. The assassin transforming into a werewolf. The werewolf charging at me, its eyes full of malice.
"You were screaming," Professor Bones gazed at me in concern.
I didn't reply.
"Were you dreaming, Remus?" Professor Bones pulled a seat over next to my bed and sat down, waiting for me to answer.
I looked away. I didn't know whether to tell him or not.
Then, "Yes." I said softly, then slowly I continued, "A knight… he looked like me… he was murdered by a dark man… who had amber eyes… then the murderer turned into a werewolf…" I retraced the dream aloud, "the werewolf, it looked like the one that had bitten me when I was young, it raced at me, its eyes were full of malice and hate… it wanted to kill me…" I said slowly, and then looked up at Professor Bones.
Our eyes met, he was staring at me intently as I went on, "I couldn't move… I couldn't run… I was terrified… and I screamed… and then I woke up," I shuddered as I remembered the image of the hideous werewolf, hurtling towards me.
Suddenly with a shocking realization, I realized that I was like that werewolf. That if I had not been locked up while in my transformed state then the people that I met would feel exactly like I had felt in my dreams, terrified, a monstrous werewolf running at them while all they could do was stare, rooted to the ground in horror. And then another realization crept upon me, why, in the dream, had I not been the werewolf? Why did I see a werewolf and I was not the werewolf but the victim? Why?
"A strange dream indeed," Professor Bones said. "Why do you think the knight looked like you, Remus?"
"I…I don't know…" I searched my mind for a reason, an explanation.
"I only offer one explanation of many… But, do you think…maybe, that knights are always seen as courageous? Never fearing what they're up against? Always willing to fight their enemy no matter how powerful and overwhelming it may be. Always willing to fight to the bitter end…" Professor stared at me.
I looked at him, considering what he had said. What was he implying? That I was courageous?
"Sir, I don't understand…" I trailed off.
"Consider Remus, the knight, he looked like you, yes?" Professor Bones asked sounding as if we were in class and he was showing me something from a different point of view. I nodded. "Knights are always seen as courageous, determined to fight until the bitter end no matter the consequences?" I nodded again as he continued, "This may be a simple sign, a message."
"A sign?" I asked, wondering where this was leading, "A sign for what?"
"That you need to fight Remus. It is showing you that you have the courage, that somewhere deep inside you, you have the courage to fight the werewolf inside you, you have the determination, strength and the willpower, to fight it. You have an extraordinary amount of strength and courage, that's what gets you through the transformation." Professor Bones said plainly.
"But the knight - the knight dies," I said as the vivid image of the knight, clutching his heart, sinking into the muddy ground, washes over me, "The knight dies at the hands of its attacker - the attacker who turns into a werewolf. The werewolf kills me…"
"It is perhaps another sign."
"For what?" I whispered.
"The dream is revealing to you your worst fears. Your fear of perishing at the hands of werewolf, of letting the wolf take over, of letting it finally get you."
I listened carefully, shocked at such a revelation.
"But the werewolf does not kill you? Does it?" Professor Bones prompted.
"No. I woke up before it reached me."
"And that," Professor Bones smiled at me, "makes all the difference."
As if this implied the end of the conversation, Professor Bones stood up, and with one last look at me, turned and made his way out of the hospital wing.
I lay back in my bed, thinking on what Professor Bones had said. The simple explanation he had offered, that the knight was a sign that I needed to fight the werewolf inside me. And the enemy that had turned into a werewolf, that this was a sign of my fear of the werewolf taking over me.
I retraced the dream in my head. The vision of the knight filled my mind, the knight swinging his sword with valour. The knight that was me, who had died at the hands of his enemy. I thought of the enemy transforming into a werewolf in the middle of the forest, and then running at me, its jaws snapping and saliva dripping from its mouth.
Then I thought of what Professor Bones had said about the werewolf running at me, that it does not end up killing me.
I do not die from the werewolf.
And that makes all the difference.
Does it not?
Author's Notes:
Yes, I know, I haven't updated in aaaageess, but I have my reasons! Plus I left you with a chapter by Sirius, does that make up for it? And I updated with a looong chapter from Remus! And I was going to separate this chapter so there would be a cliffhanger but decided not to (partly thanks to Ela), aren't I nice? Hehe. So you got the whole thing. Thanks to everyone for your reviews and support during my exams, it really must have helped because I definitely received the marks I wanted! So thankyou very much, I appreciate it more than you know! And thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my one shots- The Silly Season and Musings of a Black, I'm really glad you liked them, if you haven't read or reviewed them I would love it if you did, please!
Mme. Raye- Aww! Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it! I really love Sirius and Remus too; they are just the best thing since sliced bread (and sliced bread is overrated!) Yes, anyway, thanks again! Keep enjoying
This parrot has ceased to be- Thanks very much, no you definitely didn't come across as that way, I understood what you said, and really appreciate it! J Thanks very very very very very much for your wonderful comments, I don't think I've ever been called a creative genius before! You flatter me, heh. Thanks a lot again, I do appreciate it!
Cine(loves Sirius- Thanks for your suggestions! I love writing from Sirius' POV, and if I could, I'd write it all from his and Remus' POV! Haha. But I can't because it's about all of MWPP, so I've gotta try and balance it out a bit, which is hard because I absolutely love writing from Sirius' POV and feel like I can get into his character better than any of the others. Hehe, yes I am taking a fairly long time to get to the end of the year, aren't I? But you gotta remember, at least 5 or 6 of the chapters are just explaining the characters and introducing as well. Plus I really have to write a lot from first year because it's the start of their friendship and everything else, but there won't be as many chapters for say, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th year because there is less to write about. Anyway, I'm rambling!
Anarane- Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it; the destiny chapter is one of my fave's for a while as well. Destiny and fate interests me as well, I believe in fate, I don't know if we all have a destiny or not though, but its interesting to think about. That was a hard line to think up at the end, but then it just sort of came to me, and yeah. Anyway, glad you liked it!
Tru Lys- Heh, yes it was a bit sweet, wasn't it? I love the way you put it! -Sirius-defying-his-family-Remus-making-it-all-better, yes, that's exactly it! And there are inevitably going to be more moments like that throughout the story! In fact, there will be a lot more of Remus – Sirius moments, I just love those two!
Erica- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I'm leaning towards the one long story thing, but I'm still not sure. I'll decide sooner or later. Thanks again! The quote of the day, I actually have no idea who its by, I got it from a quote site, but I don't know the author, it fits very much with the chapter doesn't it?
Elvengirl9- Yes, Sirius is definitely a true Gryffindor, I'm glad you liked the lake scene, it seems to be a favourite, yes it was very Remus-like, calm, and peaceful. I think that was exactly what Sirius needed at that moment, I think Remus is the one of the only ones who can make Sirius all better and calm him down. Thanks for your suggestions, that is a good idea having a bit about Remus. I'm still not sure but it has helped me with deciding. Thanks again!
Janet Lily- No problem! J I'm glad you liked the chapter, and the developing friendship btwn Remus and Sirius. I will try to write even longer! But it gets hard sometimes!
Koriaena- Thanks for your suggestions!
Aqua seafoam shame/ Miss Penny- Thanks! I don't know who doesn't love Sirius, but they're missing out, that's for sure! Thanks again!
Beansie- That's okay! I'm glad you reviewed the last chapter though! J I'm glad you like the story and I'm very pleased that I get the characters how you imagine them, its how I imagine them, so I'm just writing that. I'm sorry about not writing from Remus' POV for a while either, it gets hard when you have to share around 4 different POV's, and I don't want to neglect anyone, (which I seem to be doing a lot with Peter, because his character is so hard to figure out!). You know, your review actually inspired me and made me realize that it was about time I wrote from Remus' POV, so I did, and I hope you like it! I hope no one that I've come to love will die in the 6th book, if it's Remus I'm right there with you: I'll absolutely die as well. She just can't kill off Remus. Thanks for your suggestions as well, the way that you feel it should stay together has sort of swayed me! But I still haven't made a conclusive decision. I did take a look at your story, and reviewed it, but I haven't had the time to keep reading, I'll try, I think it's very good, considering your only in 8th grade, I could have written nothing like that when I was that age! Well, I do need to say that I am truly flattered and appreciate it very much that my story inspired you to write about MWPP, we all need more stories about them, so keep on writing as much as you can, you've made me very happy about that, and made my day! I love long reviews so don't worry! Sorry about the long reply!! I'm kind of rambling! Thanks very very much again! Ta ta!
Sapphire Dragon- Thanks very very much! I'm glad you like the story! Become the next J.K, hey? I would absolutely love that, but I could never be as good as the almighty J.K herself! Your e-mail address isn't showing up. Are you a member? You should sign up and then you can get author alerts for when I update. Thanks very very much again!
Vivianpottergirl- Thanks very much! I'm glad you like it! Yes, the Marauders seem to have that effect, don't they? I'm glad you liked the end line, it put shivers down your spine? Wow. Thanks very much for your suggestions, they really did help, and I'm closer to coming to a final decision. Yes, 1200 chapters does look impressive! But people might go '1200 chapters?!!! I'm not even going to bother reading that! Its far too long!' I know I probably would do that unless the story was extremely good or I started reading it while the author was still writing. Anyway, thanks very much again!
Queen of Dorks- Thanks very much! And thank you for the suggestions! I know I haven't been updating very fast, but I do try! There probably will be an epilogue (although I'm not even thinking about that right now, it seems sooooooooo far away! Out of reach almost!!) Thanks again!
Brenntg14- Thanks very much! Glad you like it! And thanks for your suggestions, it does make sense to do that, it would be easier for new readers, but I'm not sure still! Thanks very much again! I always love new reviewers!
Goldilocks31890- Hehe. Thanks very very much! Glad you liked it! Sorry I took so long to update!
Weirdochelle- Thanks very much for your opinions, they've helped a lot! Thanks again!
Writer of Fantasy- Wow! Thanks very very much! I'm honoured that you didn't wait until chapter 20 to review! I'm glad you liked the chappie about Peter, I like to think there is a very different angle to him than just the traitorous rat. I love Moony as well, there are so many Moony lovers! Yay for us!! Hehe. I'm glad you like the story, keep reading! Thanks very much for your suggestions as well!
Esther- Thanks! Hehe, but I did update! Didn't I?… eventually…! Hehe. But still, I updated! Glad you liked Sirius, Remus is one of my fave's as well, he's a great friend, I'd love to have him as my friend, he's so caring and just the best, though if he were my friend I'd probably get a crush on him!! Hehe, unless Sirius was there as well!! Anyway, I'm rambling.
Elvenwolf123321- Thanks very much! Your story absolutely cracked me up! Now that is a classic! I love it! It's gold! That's hilarious, you should write it into a story or something, it's great, use that idea!! Please?! If you haven't already! Go the Giant Squid!
Thanks again and love your rock throwing story!! Hehe.
Starryk- Wow. Thanks very very much, I'm glad you liked it and happy that you liked the idea and that it seems like MWPP are writing it, I'm glad I can make people feel that way! Thanks very much again, I appreciate it!
Kandy916- Hey! Hehehe, yes I remember you! Well I'm glad you found this story! You coulda e-mailed me and asked me for the link, or something, but nevertheless, you found it, so that's good! Haha, Remus the next Socrates, now that would be… interesting!