What if...
Ronon had a middle name?
"Well, let's see what cards you got – Meredith."
Sheppard grinned broadly, his world already quite dimmed down by seven tequila.
"Stop. Calling. Me. That."
McKay was losing his cool so easy! Just mention his first name, and he would snap, throw a tantrum and wave his hands so vividly everybody was forced to see his cards.
"Oh, you'd better stop grinding your teeth, this is not good for your health – Meredith."
"Pah, Captain courageous... So, what's you're middle name, hu? I know you got one, but why is it never mentioned in any official file?"
Now the scientist was doing the grinning, still annoyingly sober (for he almost never drank, and even insisted the citrus was put on a extra table for safety). Damn. Teyla, Ronon and Zelenka were also watching their banter, already out off the game but curious who would will.
"Yes, I also know you do have one, why don't you tell it to us?!"
The little Czech was even worse off then Sheppard, or at least should be for drinking his vodka bottle all alone. His glasses had finally dropped to death, and now he was blinking at the bright colored dots his assumed were his friends.
"Uhn… well… sure... but only if you tell yours aswell."
Zelenka shrugged, refilled his glass – disappointed it was only half full – and emptied it with astonishing grace.
"It was forbidden to have second name in Czech republic. So I have none."
"For real?"
"Yes."
"Your's Teyla?"
McKay was smiling at Sheppard's growing discomfort. He would not get round this one!
"Why should I have a second name? Is it natural for earthians to have two names?"
"Well, Picasso had over 20!"
Sheppard nodded, hoping he would get out of this.
"It's sort of … tradition to have two names, you see? Ronon, you?"
He was almost desperate, knowing what lay ahead if of him for the rest of his life once McKay found out his middle name. He would not hack his files, geek honor and so, and John had gotten to careless… Damn! There was no way out!
Ronon had been lost in thought, the alcohol had not cheered him up but actually gotten him nostalgic and rather emotional. He spoke out with pride and surprising tenderness.
"My men are named after the bravery of their fathers. My father was a very strong, and very proud man. My mother named me Ronon, that means the one that won't be beaten. My father had fought the Wraith and the Krelta, showing extraordinary bravery. He was A man who killed many enemies. So I got named Ronon Molly Dex."
The mess fell silent like a bombshell had been dropped...
Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her temples. She read the file our load once more.
"And so Dr Beckett had to take the whole senior staff expect for me and himself off duty for two weeks. According to his diagnose, everybody should recover nicely... What lead to this incident will need further investigation, but I assume alcohol abuse might have played along..."
What if...
Sheppard got bald?
It started out in mid summer. While New York was covered in snow, the expedition members went swimming on the Lantean shore.
The weather was hot and humid, the ocean rolled lazy round the ancient city, and everybody tried to cool down or at least dry up. Teyla spent whole days in meditation, Ronon discovered the benefits of ice cream, Rodney built some insane looking but functional portable fridge, and Sheppard spent most of his time in "testing" new puddle jumpers.
God bless air condition. A gentle cool breeze would ruffle his hair, and after few hours of uneventful flight he would return, grab a shower and some dinner and pity the marines on duties like 'carry the equipment of the scientist because they don't want because it's too hot' or 'patrol in the most exposed area of the suburbs because you lost some bet'.
When he stepped out of the shower this faithful day and toweled his hair, throwing it on the growing pile of laundry, already reaching for his omnipotent hair gel, he noticed the amount of hairs left on the white army towel. Dark hair – lots of dark hair – on white fluffy fabric, an almost pretty contrast. If it were not for is hair!!
"Hm.. John, I see no difference…"
Carson switched of the light and clapped his shoulder, laughing.
"It's normal to lose hair, actually you lose hundreds everyday without noticing. So, don't worry John, you're not going bald."
Not even Carson's soothing brogue could lessen the horrible sound of the word. BALD. Sheppard flinched visibly. Carson was an excellent medic, but one look at his head hair confirmed John's worst fear. If Beckett said there was no difference, it might be quite bad already.
Ronon was confused. His commander never was a match for him, but usually he tried at least. But today he seemed to be thinking about something else, his movements predictable and slow, his cover not existing. And he was wearing a very stupid, very colored bandanna, which annoyed Ronon even more.
"What is it Sheppard?"
"Hn?"
John barely managed to avoided the blow.
"Why don't you try to fight me for real?"
His kick was misplaced and to weak to even tickle the warrior.
"What do you think I'm doing? Baking cakes?"
"Something along this. You don't concentrate."
Dex sounded angry, for real this time. After two more hilarious attacks, he just shove the man hard towards the ground, satisfied with the loud bump.
"Next one."
Sheppard had not even left the training ground when a poor marine was literally dragged on it by the Satedan. Turning his back towards his team leader, he did not notice the jealous look set on his long, thick dread locks.
"ALRIGHT!! Which fucking bastard stole my coffee beans!!"
Everybody in the mess was suddenly busy staring down on his or her food, nobody daring to face the fuming scientist. It was common knowledge there were only two sacred things on the whole of Atlantis – the ZPMs and McKay's coffee. Both were vital to the survival of the mission.
Despite cold showers, electrocuting doors and disabled transporters, the coffee didn't show up. The science staff drop out rate was up to 60 when the Daedalus finally arrived with the holy coffee grail.
Sheppard did almost feel guilty when he saw all the young men and women leave on the ship, glad to get away from the head of science monster. But his hair already felt way more healthier - thanks to the his self made caffeine shampoo.
"You alright John?"
Teyla shot him a worried glance, for he had hit the rocks pretty badly falling three meters down, and he kept on touching his head all the time. But when she had tried to check on him and wanted to take off the funny cap he had come to wear recently, he yelled at her to leave him alone.
"Hm, where did you get that hat from anyway? I reminds me of something my cat used to bring in."
"Thanks McKay... Still ages better than you're latest fashion creation, fridge shoes. I didn't know the heath was affecting you're brain this badly."
"What? My brain being affected by the heath? I'm still so much superior to you…"
John was glad to have Rodney snatch the teams attention away from him. Watching the clouded sky, he could only hope they would not get into a storm. If he lost his cap now, he would have to kill himself. To return without his head was an better option then return with his head on but barren.
"Resignation papers? But John – Why?"
Elizabeth was shocked. Tears started welling in her eyes, and before she could stop them huge drops fell on the paper.
"Is it because of my leadership? I though we were getting along... Oh John, why didn't you say so sooner…"
John Sheppard cursed his luck. Why the hell did she have to start crying, it was not like this was easy on him.
"No, it's not your fault. You're a very good lboss Dr Weir, actually the best I ever had. Believe me, this is just a personal matter."
Her eyes went huge and John knew he had said something wrong.
"Oh. Oh. So ... Have you at least told him? I'm sure he would not turn you down, even if he could not return your feelings-"
"What?? What the hell you're talking about?"
Dr Weir, trained in international relations and able to stand up against politician in the world blushed, her cheeks turning a flaming red.
"Uh, never mind. But John, you can trust me. I'm your friend, and if anything has happened or is bothering you, I promise to do everything I my power to help you."
Her green eyes displayed a great, motherly warmth and Sheppard knew it was unfair to keep her out of this. She would think he left because of her.
He braced himself, swallowed his pride and took of his wig. When she fainted on the spot, he still first placed his wig back an then called for help. Oh how he had hoped she would take this lightly…
Botanist section, two months ago
"Suzie, don't you think we should stop this already?"
"Angela, don't tell me you have already forgiven him double dating us! He is a disdainful pig!"
"No, I mean I haven't, but – he looks really sick, and if anybody would find out what we're doing… It's just not right. And we don't know what the possible side effects of this plant might be-"
"It's harmless, believe me. His wallie won't work like he wants it to, that's all. Trust me. No side effects. "