"Hey, Tsunade, what did ya want me here for?" The blonde boy asked, hands crossed behind his head as he walked beside his kage, eyes slit as he looked at her through the corner of his eyes.

"We think you are internally bleeding as well as suffering from malnutrition…" The woman said smoothly, seeming pissed for some reason.

Naruto stopped walking, horror on his face as he stared at her.

"H-hey, what!? B-but, I can't… You can't be serious! Seriously, I should heal instantly, so there's nothing to worry about!" He spun right back around on the heel of his shoe, panic on his face. "I'm just going to go home now- oomph!"

Down the rest of the length of the hall, Naruto kicked, clawed, and screamed rape as Lady Tsunade dragged him forcefully into a strange examination room.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." It was clear by the tone of her voice that she wasn't. "But even your demon can't heal these wounds. No worries, though, we have a very special class of healing nins that will heal you right up, including myself and Shizune."

Naruto looked as if he was about to cry, huge blue eyes watery as he stared at the closed and locked door. For whatever reasons Naruto had, he gave no thought to transporting out, which was what Lady Tsunade was depending on.

"B-but, I'll be okay, right? I mean… think about what teme-bastard would do to me if I died!"

The kage's smile came out more annoyed then reassuring as she patted the boy's head. The room was lined with the 'special class of healing nin' with Shizune standing right next to her boss. Naruto, upon realizing that he wasn't getting out, sat dejectedly on the white bed.

"I… What do ya have to do?"

'I can not believe he is falling for this…' Lady Tsunade thought, then amended herself. 'I should have known it would be this easy…'

"I have to do an abdominal healing, which may cause you intense pain and the urge to vomit. After that, I will have to… to…" She turned to Shizune, a thoughtful expression on her face as she attempted to think of another lie.

"We have to make sure that nothing 'down there' is falling off." The kage's assistant said straight faced.

Naruto looked at her, looked to Lady Tsunade, looked at all of the healing nin around the room, and then passed out. Lady Tsunade managed to catch him before he hit the ground and laid him back down on the surgery table.

"This is going to make it easier." A healing nin off to the side stated, moving in as the rest of the doctors did.

Lady Tsunade smirked. "Project, Impregnate the Uchiha's Manwife, is in session…"

Sasuke came home to something… different.

Different being that his husband was staring unseeingly at a full bowl of ramen with 'haunted' written all over his pale face.

His first thought? Someone is going to die, and do so very painfully. If it was another person who had degraded Naruto or who had beaten on him again, he would give them no second chances. Civility and manners be damned.

However, the moment Naruto saw him standing there, Sasuke became the bearer of a quivering, demon-containing, blue-eyed blonde as he began whispering things to himself. Sasuke stared at the crown of Naruto's head with growing anger and puzzlement. Honestly, what could have happened that was so bad?

"I'm dying!"

…A very cold dread began to wind down Sasuke's whole entire body, his hands became sweaty with the chill as he stared just pass Naruto's head to the ground. It was the worst feeling he had had since he had seen his parents dead and his brother leaning over them.

"Shouldn't Kyuubi be… healing you?" He attempted to remain calm, being an Uchiha and all demanded that he not break. Unfortunately, the dobe had been in his life for a time too long for him not to distance himself.

Sure, he had tried to kill the blonde himself a few times, but that was different. He was damn well allowed to. The fact that something, not even someone, but something else was killing him… wow.

He was having a Gaara moment. He had heard Gaara's explanation of his affections for Lee; they seemed pretty accurate right now.

"He should be! That overgrown rat says there's nothing wrong and that Tsunade just pulled one over on me, but she was so serious about it! She had a whole team there, and a surgery room was already reserved! Damn it, teme-bastard, I'm dying!"

Some of the cold dread was beginning to leak away, something being brought to the light.

"… What did she say was wrong with you?"

"She said I was having internal bleeding, malnutrition, and that my dick is falling off! - Hey!"

Naruto landed with a crash against the opposite wall, rubbing at the back of his head as he looked up at Sasuke with fury and shock.

"What they hell was that for, teme!?"

Sasuke was massaging his temples, his moment of horror gone entirely. "You are too gullible."

Naruto growled. "What are you talking about, teme? I'm dying! Lady Tsunade said so!" He sat up, preparing himself to leap upon the bastard. "I bet you're just loving this! I'm suffering and you'll be standing there laughing!" Naruto paused, considered his words, and shuddered. "Don't laugh, that'd be creepy, better believe it!"

Naruto met the wall again; as a matter of fact, he met the wall after that as well. He lived neither visit. Sasuke, however, stood at the entry of the first whole, anger radiating off of him as he stood there, clean and pristine, as he destroyed his own house in order to teach his uke husband common sense.

"You-" Naruto swung at him, but was only thrown back again. "are-" Sasuke grabbed the cursing boy and shoved him against the wall. "not-" He shot backwards, allowing the fist that had just nearly connected with his face fall short and then leaned his body to one side as the blonde attempted to tackle him. "dying!" He thrust his knee into the other's stomach.

Naruto landed on the ground, cursing and growling as he stared up at his lover with fury. "What do you know, teme!"

"I know Lady Tsunade tricked you."

The blonde blinked once, twice, seemed to think back on what had happened, and then horror set over his face.

"Holy shit, that old hag tricked me!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes; he should be used to Naruto's slowness. Sadly, when he had accepted Naruto as his husband and his lover, he had also accepted the other's stupidity. He looked down at the other's sky blue eyes and golden hair that even now gleamed, and decided it wasn't that bad. Uchiha's were naturally attracted to beauty, his only came with a small price compared to others.

"Why the hell did she trick me for?"

The raven-haired boy gritted his teeth, and then became entirely slack as a thought occurred to him.

Orochimaru was dead, both Konoha and Suna were nearly entirely back to normal since the wars they had taken part of 21 years ago, and he and Naruto had an almost normal schedule.

He smirked, lending a hand to the befuzzled blonde, who stared at his hand cautiously before taking it. He was jerked up… right into a kiss with the Uchiha.

He actually thought about kneeing him one in revenge, then decided he was too horny and moved instantly into the contact. It was nearly two minutes later when they separated, Naruto covered in a red blush as Sasuke continued to smirk.

"You can find out in nine months if we get to it tonight."

Naruto's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What happens in nine months?"

Regardless, they had a very good night.

Sasuke plans for Naruto to come home one day of the week and scream bloody murder at him for getting him pregnant, but it was very well worth it.

Mah, I think I made Sasuke OOC… I could have done better, but I wanted to get to it while the idea was fresh in my mind. The idea came from just a girl two. Have fun with it, people! Reviews are lovely little things…