Chapter 21

"I messed everything up, didn't I?" Bonnie whispered, her voice rough and raw from sleep. She bent forward at the waist, letting her hair fall across her face in a dark curtain that obscured her view. She looked down at the fading bruises on her wrist. What should have been a broken wrist was reduced to mere bruises after Damon's blood was in her system.

"Yes," Damon answered in a clipped tone. He turned away from the window across the room to stare at her, his gaze unflinching and unforgiving. "Why?"

Her eyes slid shut, guilt eating at her. "I don't—"

"Don't you dare," he hissed, crossing the floor of his room to the bed and looming over her. His jaw tightened with barely controlled anger.

Bonnie threw her hair back and looked up at him, feeling exposed and weak in his bed while he towered above her. She tried to block out the hurt and betrayal radiating off him through the bond, but it was useless. His pain was her pain, and what made it worse was knowing she caused it. He had begun to trust her, and she had betrayed him.

"Why, Bonnie?" he demanded.

"I thought I could stop her," Bonnie replied, looking away. "I thought I was strong enough. I could stop her and save Jeremy and Elena and …" You, she finished silently, unwilling to let that admission slip past her lips. She sighed and leaned back against the pillows.

"And?" he pushed, not willing to let her off the hook so easily. His eyebrows arched expectantly.

Her eyes met his once more, and she squared her shoulders. "Did you kiss Katherine thinking she was Elena?"

Decades of practice kept the surprise off his face, but he couldn't hide it so easily in the bond. His eyes narrowed fractionally and the lines around his mouth tightened.

"That has nothing to do with this," Damon announced abruptly.

"Yes, it does," she challenged, fisting her hands in the sheets and glaring up at him. "Are you in love with Elena?"

He made a face. "Bonnie—"

"Are you in love with Elena?" she forced out through clenched teeth once more.

He hesitated a second before he sighed and looked away. "No."

Bonnie snorted softly and started to get out of bed. "Sure, Damon. Of course you're not." She swung her bare legs over the side of the bed, wondering where the hell her clothes had gone. He must have taken them out of the room because they weren't on the chair anymore. If need be she would leave this house in only Damon's shirt to get away.

Damon's hands closed over her upper arms, holding her in place but not hurting. He stared hard into her eyes, unflinching. He lowered his face until his nose was brushing hers. "I'm not in love with Elena."

"Then why did you kiss her?"

He blinked twice. "It's complicated."

"Uncomplicate it then," she challenged, leaning forward slightly. She lifted her hands to touch his where he still held her by the shoulders.

"I thought … I thought Elena might be what I wanted. She represented something unattainable to me," he said with a defeated sigh as he eased onto the side of bed. "Something pure and untainted. I knew it would never work between us, but the idea of someone like her…"

Bonnie stiffened and leaned back, her jaw set. "Whereas someone like me, someone just as messed up—"

His eyes widened and he started to backtrack. "That's not what I meant at all."

She knocked his hands off her shoulders, annoyed now. "No, no. I get it. Trust me, Damon, I get it. It's always been Elena."

He sighed, frustrated, and raked a hand through his disheveled dark locks. "You don't—"

"No, I do. We all play our roles here: Elena's always been the sweet, innocent one that everyone falls in love with. Caroline is the beautiful, popular one that everyone wants to be around. And I'm … I'm the sidekick."

He couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his lips. "Sidekick?"

"You know," Bonnie pressed, exhaling hard. She pushed her hair away from her face. "The peppy, quirky friend. The reliable one."

Damon shook his head, even more amused now. He raised a hand to her face, tracing the soft sweep of her cheekbone. "You really don't get it, do you?"

Her brow furrowed even as she subconsciously leaned into his touch. "I think—"

He silenced her with a kiss. It was softer and less insistent than his usual kisses, taking the time to tease her lips open. Her hands came up to the front of his gray t-shirt, fisting in the soft cotton to pull him closer. His tongue touched hers, lightly stroking against hers and exploring in the inside of her mouth as he tasted her fully. She moaned quietly, feeling him smile against her lips in response.

Dizzy from the lack of air, Bonnie pulled back for a split second to suck in a sharp lungful. She leaned forward to kiss him again, craving the connection of his skin against hers. She frowned when he moved away, simply pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Now do you get it?"

Her frown deepened. "You like kissing me?"

He laughed. "That, and I like that you aren't Elena. Or Caroline," he added as an afterthought with a small frown and a fake shudder that made her crack a smile. He shook his head. "The point is, one of the reasons I fell in love with Katherine was that she wasn't some weak girl who needed saving."

Bonnie arched a brow. "You're comparing me to that psychotic bitch?"

"Back then I was used to women throwing themselves at my feet. If not for my father's money then for my looks—"

She snorted and laughed. "Right."

He flashed her a quick glare. "There was no challenge. The damsel in distress thing is Stefan's idea of fun, and I am not my brother. I'm no one's hero. I don't want to constantly have to save someone. I need someone who can hold her own."

"You had to save me today," she pointed out darkly.

"Yes," he hedged, "but if it had been Elena going against Katherine we would be planning a funeral right now. You're stronger than you think, Bonnie."

She caught her lower lips between her teeth, hating herself for her insecurities. "So you really don't love Elena."

His eyes shut briefly. "No. I do not love Elena." His fingers toyed with a few strands of her hair.

There was no lie there, no matter how hard she searched for it. Even if the earnest look in his eyes was fake, he couldn't manipulate the bond like that and they both knew it.

She wilted slightly before him. "Katherine?"

"Do you think I would have attacked Katherine if I still loved her?" He snorted and rolled his eyes.

Relief crushed her and she released a breath she hadn't known she was holding. The sudden influx of fresh air made her dizzy. "Damon—"

He leaned forward, his hands framing her face. "I don't know what this is, Bonnie. But I don't love Elena or Katherine."

She clicked her teeth together, a nervous habit she had developed as a child that used to drive her mother crazy. Drawing in a shaky breath, she looked him in the eye. "I don't know what this is either. But I am sorry if I hurt you."

His brows drew together. "Don't do it again."

She rolled her eyes and nodded against his hands. "I won't."

He smiled tightly and let her face go.

Bonnie sighed. "Not that it matters. Katherine has the talisman and now we both know I'm not strong enough to stop her."

"Says who?" Damon asked, his eyes starting to glitter.

"OK, Katherine kicked my ass without the talisman," she reminded him. "I really think that we established that she can destroy me whenever she wants."

"I wouldn't say that."

She started to shake her head. "Damon—"

"Bonnie," he countered, a teasing lilt in his voice. He tilted his head to one side and studied her.

After several heavy seconds of silence she threw her hands up into the air. "What?"

"I'd say we have Katherine where we want her."

"With the talisman?"

He winced. "OK, that's unfortunate, but not a lost cause."

"She told me what it does. The talisman? I know what she's planning," Bonnie said quietly. Her eyes met his. "She's even crazier than you think."

"Oh, I have a pretty active imagination," he replied lightly, but his eyes darkened.

"It's an infinity talisman that Emily created solely for Katherine. It makes her invincible. The ring protects her from sunlight, but this talisman makes it impossible to kill her. She can't die as long as she has it."

"Well that sucks," he sighed, "and it complicates things."

"She wants to come out," Bonnie continued softly.

"Of the closet?" He smirked. "You know she and Pearl always did have—"

"To the world," Bonnie cut in, not amused. "She doesn't like living in the shadows, pretending to be a mortal when she's so much more. Nothing can stop her now that she has the talisman."

"World domination," he muttered darkly, getting off the bed.

Bonnie scrambled off the bed behind him, following him to the window. "This is my fault, Damon. I'm sorry."

He nodded slowly, his back still to her. "I know you are. We need a plan." He turned slowly and looked at her, starting at her bare feet. His gaze traveled up to where his shirt fell against the top of the thighs, his eyes lingering on the feminine flare of her hips and roving even higher up until he met her eyes.

"It's going to have to be a good plan," she pointed out unnecessarily, not at all bothered by his heated gaze. She took a step closer to him, her chest nearly brushing his.

His lips curved into a wicked smirk. "Oh, it will be. I have an idea."

"Care to share?"

"First things first," he started slowly, "you need to get dressed. Elena and Stefan are on their way back with Jeremy."

"Where are my clothes?"

He smiled. "I ran to your house while you were sleeping and got a change for you. It only took a minute." He moved around her and picked up a black duffel bag she hadn't noticed in the corner before. He handed it to her.

Bonnie tossed it onto the bed and unzipped the bag, pulling out jeans, a red t-shirt and—

"Seriously?" she asked incredulously, holding up the sheer black lace bra and matching French cut panty set. It was by far the sexiest pair of underwear she owned. She had splurged on them a few months back and then promptly tucked them underneath all her practical, cotton bras and panties.

Damon barely blinked. "What? I found those in your drawer."

"Sure you did," she laughed, shaking her head.

His head tilted to one side, hearing something she couldn't. "They're here." He started for the door.

"Damon?"

He paused and turned back, a look of serene innocence still on his face.

Still holding her underwear, she walked slowly across the room to him. She tilted her face up to his. "You better not rip these, Damon."

His grin was instantaneous and he started to back away from her. "I wouldn't dream of it."