School. Fuck school.

On a brighter note, I got the new 3DS and Xenoblade Chronicles 3D and OH MY GOD GUYS IT'S SO FUCKING PRETTY.

Also British voice actors. I am so hooked.

Fangirling aside, I'm making this up on the spot again. High school teacher AU in honour of the torment that is school.

Gratuitous FE characters, sorry. I will explain anything important or amusing at the end.

This is basically the Smash Bros faculty. Ganon is the principal, Zelda is his secretary. Robin and Shulk (oh hi there Xenoblade) are science teachers, Sheik is gym, Marth is math, Pit is… I dunno, woodshop? I don't know Kid Icarus. And Link is history, for some reason.

I wouldn't be surprised if the ANs end up longer than the chapter.

Disclaimed.

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21: File

Link groans, tossing the latest folder to the side. "Remind me, why am I the one going through the personnel files?"

Robin chuckles, leaning back in her chair. "Because, my dear friend, I have fifty reports to mark by tomorrow and I haven't started yet."

"…While we break into the principal's office."

Sheik snickers, peeking out the doorway. "If Zel is fine with it, why aren't you?"

Link rolls his eyes. "Zel is fine with it because you're her weird pseudo-twin, not because it's a good idea. If Ganon catches us in his office peeking through his personnel files, being fired is the least of our worries."

"Oh, grow a spine!" the Sheikah chuckles.

Robin smirks, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Come now, hero, you're supposed to be the brave one."

"Yeah, and Zel is supposed to be wise and Ganon's supposed to be powerful. Zel isn't that wise, and Ganon's more scary than powerful."

"Link Ravio Hylia," Sheik purrs, "hurry up and hunt through those files for ours before Robin gets tired of her reports and encourages you."

"I have figs," Robin agrees dreamily. "Lon'qu has been avoiding me, so I have a lot of figs."

The Sheikah coughs. "Alright then, moving on. Found anything?"

"Working on it. Let's see… Shulk, Marth, Zelda, Pit… Oh, there we go! Sheik, Robin and myself." He tosses the other two their files and opens his own. "…Oh, now that's just rude!"

Sheik giggles. "Well, what did you expect? Ganon hates you."

Robin chuckles to herself, closing her file and putting it aside. "Fair," she admits cheerily. "Hey, Sheik, what's yours say?"

The other teacher moves over to show her. She laughs. "Link, what about you?"

He sighs in defeat, tossing his own file at her. Robin reads over it, brown eyes inscrutable. "Well then. I knew he hated you, but…"

"I know!" he snaps. The other two shush him quickly, and all three are momentarily alert for the sound of footsteps. "I know," Link repeats quietly once they're certain no one is coming. "Seriously, he's being a bit too harsh, even for him."

Sheik nods in agreement. "He's probably just pissed that you're about fifty times more popular than he is."

"Have you been running covert polls again?" Robin asks, opening the folder of reports she's supposed to be marking.

"…Maybe. In any case, he's probably just jealous."

Link sighs. "What's a gym teacher doing running popularity polls, anyway?"

The Sheikah smirks, flopping back across the desk. "I have to know what my students think of me, do I not?"

"And…?" Robin asks curiously.

"And they love me. Seriously, this is the best job I've ever had."

"…You've been here a week."

"So?"

Before either of the other teachers can comment on this less-than-logical reply, footsteps echo down the hall. "Oh, shit," Robin mutters.

"Out the window," Sheik hisses, the files already in hand and being slid back into place. "Hurry, hurry…"

By the time Ganon opens the door, the three conspirators are long gone. And if he ever wonders how the file box managed to migrate about six feet, he never asks.

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Yeesh, it's awful. But I was distracted by Xenoblade and school and did it all last night again. And it wasn't exactly an easy prompt.

By the way, Robin's comment about figs was based on her FE 13 supports with Lon'qu the gynophobic myrmidon. She throws figs at him. It is glorious.

And completely gender-neutral Sheik! It's a lot harder than you'd think.

Next time: Cannon

You'd think that'd be easy, but nope. Help, please.

See ya~!

-Bird