Hi again, as said in the previous chapter, this is another M-rated chapter, instead of T-rated. just so you know ;) but I hope you still like the story! thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 20

Bellamy was still in the Com Room, sleeping on his arms crossed on the table. A screeching noise woke him up and he looked up groggily. Someone was sliding a crowbar in between the two doors, trying to get in. Maybe there was another emergency? Was Jane trying to float herself again?

He stood, rubbing his eyes, and pushed the button to open the door. He found himself face to face with Echo. What a great alarm clock: she looked fierce with her white face paint. She dropped the crowbar and stepped inside. Bellamy didn't have the time to say anything before she punched him in the nose with such force that he lost his balance and fell on the floor.

"Ow!" he said, holding on to his bleeding nose. "What is it with you people punching me in the nose? What was that for?"

"We need to talk."

"And punching me in the nose was necessary?"

"No, but I was itching to do that for some time." She flashed him a white-faced grin, stretching her fingers that had hit him, and stepped closer to him. Bellamy backed away. He knew he didn't stand a chance against her if she decided to fight him for some reason or another.

"What do you want?" His nose was bleeding, but right now, he was more concerned about the wolf pacing around him, looking for a way to attack him. "You said talking, not fighting, Echo," he tried.

"In the Ice Nation, it's the same thing. I haven't had physical exercise in two months. You're going to be perfect." She jumped at him, and Bellamy braced himself for her attack. He was able to stand his ground for a few seconds, but she managed to put him on the ground under five seconds. "You're way too easy."

"Okay," Bellamy wheezed, Echo sitting on his chest, pinning him down. "Just talk, now."

She shot him a look. "Shof op," she snarled. (Shut up) "Jus drein, jus daun, Bellamy." (Blood must have blood)

"I didn't kill anyone."

"Oh really? You didn't?"

He rolled his eyes and tried to push her off, but she stayed put. "Not since we came up here," he said through gritted teeth, breathing hard.

She chuckled. "I'm not here to kill you, by the way" she said, standing, and walking around the room, looking at the machines and the buttons and wires. Bellamy stayed on the floor, propped up on his elbow. "What does this do?" she asked pointing to a screen.

"It used to monitor the cameras on the Ark. We could see what was going on everywhere from here."

She nodded and went to the next one. She asked about several machines, but she didn't care one bit. It was only to lower his guard. "What about this one?"

"That's the radio."

"Oh. That's where you can hear Clarke from?"

A small smile appeared on his lips. "Yeah."

She took out her knife from her belt and smashed the hilt on the radio as hard as she could. She sliced through the machine and its wires. "There. Jus drein, jus daun," she said.

"Echo, NO!" he yelled, scrambling to his feet and tackling her to the ground. "What did you do!" he said, sitting on her belly, holding her wrist away from her face. She had dropped her knife in the process.

She looked up at Bellamy's face and she didn't know how a person could be pale and red from anger at the same time. A slow-spreading smile appeared on her face. "You broke Jane's heart, Bellamy. Now you know what it feels like. Jus drein, jus daun." She pushed him away, but she didn't need that much strength. Bellamy was limp and crying. "Stop crying and man up, Bellamy," Echo said. "Ge small daun, gyon op nodataim," (Get knocked down, get back up.) She headed for the door. "There's a real girl, alive – I don't know for how long – who actually needs you," she said walking away.

Bellamy stayed on his knees, his head in his hands and wept with grief. There was no way Raven could fix that radio. Or it would take months. The ache in his heart was excruciating. Was Echo right? Did he break Jane's heart like this? Did it really feel like that? He balled up on the floor in fetal-like position and closed his eyes. When would be the next time he heard Clarke's voice?

Jane spent a lot of time in her room – it was hers alone now, since Bellamy had taken the Com Room – either sleeping or staring at the ceiling. Time went by really slowly. Five years was a long time. Was it really worth it? Waiting this long only to go back to Earth to a daughter who wouldn't know who you were? She tossed and turned, trying to find a better position, one that wouldn't hurt her back, or her hip. The wound had not gotten infected, but it still throbbed, especially when she walked. She decided to get another mattress for her bed. Maybe it would be better with another layer. She got up and went to the last bed on the other side of the room – one with no mess covering it – and lifted the mattress.

"Oh, what are you doing here?" she said to the bottle when it emerged from under the mattress. She picked it up. The Baton. To be opened on Earth. "Yeah right. I'll open you right away, dear friend." She abandoned the mattress and dragged her bad leg all the way to the Medical bay. She tried not to hiss in pain at each step, but she was kind of getting used to it, by now. When she arrived at the medical room, she closed the door and looked through the labelled boxes for something to go with her drink. "Aspirins, perfect." She took the small bottle of pills and sat on the floor.

She looked at the bottle, and then at the pills. "Sorry, Murphy," she whispered. "I just can't wait five years like this. It hurts too much." She unscrewed the pill bottle and opened The Baton. She ate a pill, took a mouthful of alcohol. Took a pill, drank the alcohol. Pill, alcohol. Pill, alcohol. Until the bottle was half empty. She was already groggy from the medicine. She carefully closed the bottle saving some for the others, and fell on the floor. The remaining pills slipped out of the small bottle, and she blacked out.

Bellamy finally stood and stared at the radio. No, it was not a nightmare. Echo had really destroyed it. But she was right about one thing, though. Jane was here, alive, real, and she needed him. He opened the doors and kept them that way, heading to his room. He knocked, but there was no answer. He still opened it.

The room was a mess. There were blankets and clothes everywhere. And the mattress under which he had hidden the bottle was misplaced, and the bottle… gone! So was Jane. Something was not right.

He ran to the kitchen and lounging area.

"Ah, Bellamy," Echo said, suppressing a laugh. "Finally decided to join real people?"

"Where's Jane?" he said panic dripping in his voice, ignoring her cutting remark.

Murphy frowned. "Why?"

"She's not in our room, and neither is the alcohol."

"What alcohol?" Monty said, sitting on the edge of the couch with a smile on his face.

"Shut up, Monty," Bellamy said. "Where's Jane?"

Raven stood. "Did you check the med bay? She spends a lot of time, there."

Bellamy darted away, the six others hot on his heels. He almost slipped on the floor in front of the door when he tried to stop. He barged in and found Jane unconscious on the floor.

"She took pills with the alcohol," Monty said, pointing to the spilled medicine and the half-empty bottle. "We need to make her throw up."

Bellamy did not need to be asked twice. He rolled Jane on her side, opened her mouth and put his finger in it as far as he could. Jane gagged and then vomited half-digested pills in a clear liquid. He waited until she was finished and started again. And again, half-digested pills – less, this time – came out.

Jane coughed and vomited on her own, now, on all fours. She gagged until nothing more came out. Then she rolled back on the floor and closed her eyes, focusing on breathed evenly. Murphy gave a towel to Bellamy and he wiped Jane's mouth and chin. Then, he took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot," he said over and over. "I'm so sorry."

Everyone was sitting on the floor against the wall, waiting to see if both Bellamy and Jane would be okay. He held her tightly against him as she cried.

"What did you do to him?" Raven whispered to Echo.

"I broke the radio and reminded him that there was a real girl here who needed him." She cast a glance at Raven. "I hope I didn't destroy it too much, and that you can fix it."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Not a priority, right now."

Bellamy looked at his six friends waiting. "It's okay," he said. "I got this."

They all stayed a moment longer, and then, one by one – starting with Echo – they left them alone. Jane's sobs slowly subsided and she wiped her face.

"What are you doing here, Bell?" she asked, backing away from him to look at his face.

He sighed. "I can't lose you," he said softly. "I was an idiot. I have you right here, beside me every day, and I still went to Clarke even though it was only through a radio. I'm an idiot. Can you forgive me?"

She didn't know what to say, so she simply stared at him.

"Say something, please," he pleaded.

"What do you want me to say, Bellamy? You broke my heart. And I don't know if you – or anyone – will ever be able to put it back together. I'm dead inside."

He dropped his gaze and looked at his trembling hands. "Maybe if I hold you tightly enough the pieces might hold together?" he asked in a sheepish voice.

She shook her head. "There are no more pieces, Bellamy," she said softly. "It was scattered like ash."

His shoulders slumped. "That bad, huh?" He lifted his head and met her gaze, and then looked away again. "I'm such an idiot."

She nodded lightly and let out a small humorless chuckle.

"What if I gave you mine?" he offered.

Jane closed her eyes, fighting back the tears.

"I love you, Jane. I've seen you become a woman and even bear my child. I can't not love you. You're a part of me. Will you accept my heart, since I broke yours?"

Jane had no idea what happened for Bellamy to change and come to her like that. But she wasn't sure she wanted to know, to be honest. She crawled up to him and sat in front of him, her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and hid his face in her neck, inhaling her familiar scent. "So you'll take my heart in exchange for your broken one?" he whispered against her hair.

She shook her head. "We share it. Otherwise you won't have any left for yourself."

A grin spread on his lips and he hugged her tightly against him.