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If you don't like the intense stuff skip to Fitz's pov.
Ch. 21 Find it Hard to Smile
(CLARE)
"Since it's cold you can both wear jeans to school but without panties, Clare come dress in my room," Glen commands right after Maya and I clean up from breakfast. I nod and go to my room to get clothes before going to Glen's room; he closes the door and watches as I begin changing. "Make sure no one else comes to the house, no one is allowed over here. Tell your friends you fell and hurt your arm and that was the scream that boy heard. If you tell them anything else, if anyone else comes to the house then Maya will pay for it and I will make sure it's slow and painful. You don't want your sister to be hurt do you?"
"No, I'll make sure they don't come to the house, I'll make sure they know nothing," I assure him.
"Good girl, you know next year this won't be a problem, come summer we'll move to the country and no one will ever come to the house," Glen reminds me and I shudder at this thought.
He leaves for work and we finish getting ready for school before leaving in Jake's truck. Since Maya has band practice after school Jake has her ride in the middle.
"I don't like when you wear jeans I can't touch you," he whines as he drives us. I'm glad he can't really touch her with jeans on but he'll probably just make up for it later. Jake parks at school, Maya gets out and just about runs inside and Jake looks angry. "Stupid bitch I wasn't done with her," he grumbles.
"What were you going to do? We're at school it's not like you can do anything with people around; your dad doesn't want anyone to know anything remember," I point out as we start walking to the front door.
"I was going to take her somewhere private, guess I'll just have to take it out on you after school," Jake grins and I can see the idea cultivating in his mind about what to do with me after school.
Jake walks ahead of me now and I see Drew, Bianca, Fitz and Owen waiting on the steps. I force a smile on my face as we approach them, doing everything possible to exude normalcy and a happy exterior even if I'm falling apart inside. I try to walk past them but they make a wall and block me from going inside.
"I have to get to class," I say without looking any of them in the eye.
"No you need to talk to us," Drew states.
"Clare," Owen says in a soft voice putting a hand on my arm.
Even through my jacket I can feel the comfort of his touch. I want to fall into his arms, to wrap them around me and never leave them again. To cry on his chest and tell him everything and beg him to protect me and Maya, to kill Jake and Glen so we never have to see them again. I don't of course, I remain still and silent, biting my lip and looking at my red sneakers poking out of my dark jeans, the sneakers match my crimson top.
"We know something is going on," Owen tells me.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I refute.
"You were terrified when I came to the house, I heard you scream," Drew says.
"I slipped and hurt my arm, I'm fine nothing is going on except that my mom is very sick now can we please go to class?" I request.
"Clare I know you're scared but you can talk to us, we can help," Bianca tells me.
"That's really nice of you guys but there's nothing for you to help with, there's nothing to tell," I insist.
I wish I could tell them but paralyzing fear keeps me from saying anything. Unless they can somehow guarantee that Jake and Glen could never get near me or Maya again I can't risk it. If Glen and Jake found out I'm sure we'd just leave, they would run and Maya and I would spend the rest of our lives somewhere desolate, alone, chained and being raped and abused every night, worse than we are now because they wouldn't be worried about keeping us alive or being able to walk at school. So I don't say anything, I just stay silent and hope that somehow mine and Maya's life won't come to that.
"Let's go to class," Bianca says with a bit of a sigh, they finally part and we all walk in together.
I go to my locker, waving to Adam and Eli at their lockers. I get out my parenting book and walk to class sitting awkwardly at my desk because tight jeans without panties is not comfortable. Bianca, Owen and Fitz come in and sit at their desks but they don't say anything else that isn't related to class. After class Fitz and I walk to math, I spend all of class thinking about how I can get Maya and me safely away from Glen and Jake, by the end of class I'm pretty sure it's hopeless.
"You want to tutor me in the memorial garden or we could eat lunch with everyone and take the day off," Fitz suggests when we walk out of math class.
"No you need to be tutored let's go to the garden," I reply.
"You're coming on the field trip aren't you?" Fitz asks when we're sitting in the memorial garden.
"Yes I'm going now let's concentrate on math," I assert.
I tutor Fitz for all of lunch, I don't eat much but I'm not very hungry. After lunch Fitz walks with me to art class, Owen, Drew and Bianca are already there. Miss Dawes comes in a few minutes later and has us sign in before we go out to the bus. The five of us go out and they have me sit in the very back seat with them. I don't want to talk about home but something else has been on my mind recently.
"Maya's birthday is Saturday and she doesn't want to celebrate because our mom is sick," I lie because I can't tell them the real reason. "I do want to celebrate though, distract her for a little while. I was thinking maybe a small party at Above the Dot, maybe us, Adam too since she's become friends with him through Whisper Hug and Tris and Zig."
"I'm sure Maya will appreciate the party and of course we'll all be there," Fitz says and I smile at him.
The bus soon fills up with more kids from class and the bus takes off for the art museum. Miss Dawes spends the bus rode telling us what we'll see at the museum. I find the art museum rather peaceful and almost distracting from my life. I enjoy the museum, the feel of it and the distance from Glen and Jake. I don't want to return to school and my life but of course I have no choice. When we're back at school Drew and Fitz go on their spare and I walk to French. When I get to my locker after school Jake is waiting for me, he's got an anticipating carnally malicious grin on his lips.
"Time to go home Clare, I called Dad at lunch," he informs me which means he got permission for things.
I grab my books and we walk out to his truck, I get in and he tells me to get in the middle and blow him on the ride home. I'm not done by the time we get home so he makes me finish before we go in. He puts my ankle bracelet on when we get in and tells me to strip. The lace wrist cuffs, we were given this weekend, stayed hidden under my clothes today but now Jake is looking at them. He pulls out a small chain from the basket where we put our cell phones, it's a Y chain and he turns my choker so the metal ring is in front, he hooks one end of the chain to the choker and the other two to my cuffs.
"Go put on your heels and make me a snack but stay naked," he instructs. I nod and go upstairs to put on my heels; with this chain I can't move my arms all that much. Returning downstairs I make him a sandwich and clean up while he eats. "Dad will be home early start your chores," Jake tells me when I'm done with the kitchen.
I begin on my chores and Glen gets home, I go over and take his coat off, he admires the cuffs and chains.
"Son take Clare to her bed, I'll be up shortly and we'll give her a double facial," Glen announces I know what he means and it's not that bad compared to some of what we're put through.
I sit on my bed; Jake and Glen take down their pants and boxers but leave the rest of their clothes on. They look ridiculous but they don't care, I help them masturbate until they both ejaculate on my face. I shut my eyes and feel gross, but when I realize Glen is taking pictures I feel humiliated. I try to look away but he commands me to look at the camera, he takes several letting the thick sticky cum drip down my face and begin to dry.
"Clean up in the shower and then clean your sheets, but first get on your hands and knees," Glen commands and I obey even though I can barely see, "son make her ass red I'll be right back."
"Gladly," Jake replies and starts spanking me as hard as he can, it only lasts about a minute before Glen returns.
"Since Jake didn't get to play at school he can shower with you and you'll wear this for the rest of the evening," Glen tells me before shoving a hard plastic anal plug into me. He did at least have the courtesy to lube it but with the force he uses to shove it in I still scream out a little.
Jake hauls me up and roughly drags me into our washroom, he turns on the water, takes off my ankle bracelet but leaves chains on. He pulls me into the shower and I start to rinse off in the water, the cum starts to coagulate and ball up on my skin while not entirely coming off. Jake is behind me, he reaches around and pinches my nipples, even using the chains to wrap around my breasts. I can feel him starting to get hard again, I grab the body wash and loofa, scrubbing at my face to get the cum off. It's nearly off when Jake decides he can release again as he shoves me to bend over.
"Grab the wall and open your legs I want to fuck you now," he says brashly.
I brace my hands on the wall and he slams into me, driving the anal plug farther into me. I make a sort of screaming grunt and nearly fall forward into the wall. Jake steadies me with one arm but he does so by grabbing my right breast and just squeezing as hard as he can. His rape feels more brutal than usual and I look down to see blood in the water. I'm certain I'm going to be sick and just as Jake finishes I vomit, luckily I'm already in the bath tub and it goes down the drain, also Jake is too far gone in his release to notice. He slaps my ass again pulls out of me and I crumble to the shower floor.
"Better clean up," Jake laughs as he grabs a towel and leaves the washroom.
I sit there a few minutes, shaking and still feeling ill, watching the blood get thinned by the water and circle the drain. Finally the bleeding stops and when Glen comes in and tells me to get out or face the consequences I force myself to stand and clean off the rest of the cum as fast and as well as I can. After getting out of the shower I gather my sheets and wash them, not that I sleep in my bed much. I have to stay naked with the plug in for the rest of the evening. Maya gets home while I'm making dinner and Glen tells her to go straight his room. Glen never did put my ankle bracelet back on but I'd never run and leave Maya, besides which I'm not dressed, I have an anal plug in and small chains attached to wrist cuffs and a choker. A few minutes after Maya and Glen go up to his room I hear the sounds of him raping her, in other words I hear my sister screaming and Glen's bed squeaking. They come downstairs when done, Maya is naked too aside from a Y chain like the one I have on and her small anal beads are in. She helps me finish dinner, we perform our nightly duties and then we go to bed, her in Jake's bed and me in Glen's. In order for us to be able to do Maya's party on Saturday I have to get Glen's permission for us to be out of the house.
"Glen," I venture when he's laying bed. He didn't chain me and he's taken the anal plug out, he did however leave the Y chain on my choker and cuffs. I'm sure there will be a consequence to allowing Maya a birthday but hopefully it will be worth it.
"What is it Clare?" He asks but with an annoyed edge to his voice.
"Maya's birthday is Saturday and if you want us to maintain a veil of normalcy then I think she needs a party. I was thinking just something simple, maybe meeting a few of her close friends at The Dot. We already told everyone Mom was ill and so people can't be at the house. Just three hours or so and then we'll come right back to the house," I tell him.
He's silent for a minute and I'm worried, hoping he approves because if he doesn't I can't give Maya a party.
"Alright, but no more than three hours and then you girls will come back so we can celebrate Maya's birthday as a family," Glen grins and I swallow.
I shudder to think what he has in store for Maya's birthday, I'm sure she will not enjoy it but Glen and Jake will.
(FITZ)
Clare and the four of us had been planning Maya's birthday party all week and today was Maya's birthday. I opened the club and we had pizzas, sodas, chips, ice cream and a cake to eat, Owen had brought Tris and Zig, Drew and Bianca had brought Adam and we all had gifts for Maya. Clare said it had to be three hours because they needed to be home to take care of their mom so the party was planned from noon to three. We had music going and I heard footsteps on the stairs, it wasn't a surprise party as Clare was going to tell Maya but I still had the urge to yell surprise when Maya opened the door.
"Happy birthday Maya," we all say when she steps in.
"Thanks everyone, this was really sweet of you," she smiles only she doesn't look very happy and it's more of a sad smile.
She comes in and sits by Adam; Clare sets her gift on the table with the other ones. She looks sad too, Maya is talking to Adam and Clare goes into the kitchen so I follow her. I hear her sniffling when I go through the door and when she sees me she wipes her face and chokes in the rest of her tears.
"Clare is everything okay? You both look really sad," I comment.
"Fine, I just came in to get Maya a bottle of water," she tells me grabbing one from the shelf and turns to go out the door but I put up my arm and block her from doing so.
"Clare talk to me please, you were just crying and Maya looks sad. Was the party a mistake should I send everyone home?" I question.
"No," she says really quickly and then lets out a breath, "no Maya needs this and she deserves a little bit of happiness. It's just…" Clare pauses biting her lip the expression on her face telling me she wants to tell me something but there's such a deep fear in her eyes. "It's just that our mom is getting worse," she finally says.
"I'm sorry; you'll tell us if we can do anything right?" I ask and Clare nods but she's got tears in her eyes. "Clare I really like your sister, I want to tell her but I don't want to scare her," I confess and Clare smiles a very genuine smile this time and not a sad one.
"You should tell her, I'm pretty sure she likes you too and Maya deserves something good in her life. You're sweet Fitz, really sweet and gentle; you'd be good for her," Clare says and I grin dropping my arm so she can get by. We get out to the bar and Clare stops looking at me with a very determined look in her eye. "Promise me something," she requests but almost in a whisper.
"Okay," I nod looking over to the others; Maya is talking with Zig and Adam. Owen looks over to me, he must see the look on my face or he just wants to know what we're talking about because he gets up and starts walking to us.
"Promise me that you'll take her, if she does like you back and can manage to have relationship take her and run far away from here," Clare tells me. She's so scared she looks pale but she's got such a resolute tone in her voice. Her words, the look on her face, the tears in her eyes, her tone are all almost heartbreaking. I want to take Maya and her and run, to take them away and protect them from whatever it is. I'm about to ask her what I need to get Maya away from when Owen comes behind the bar.
"Everything okay?" He asks and Clare turns to face him.
"Yeah everything's fine I was just grabbing a bottle of water," she replies.
I want to tell him what she said but I'm certain that she'll deny it or say she was joking so I just nod.
"Yeah everything's fine, they're sad because their mom is getting worse," I tell Owen and then get an idea. I know how he feels about her and we know by her writing she likes him too. "You should take her and cheer her up, stick with Owen he'll make you feel better," I insist and gently push her to Owen who puts his arm around her shoulders.
Clare flinches a little when his arm goes around her but then seems to relax into his touch. They walk back to everyone and sit on the loveseat; I walk over and take a seat near Maya.
"We should have the cake," Clare says starting to get up but I want her to stay with Owen so I look at Drew and Bianca.
"We'll get it Clare," they tell her and she sits back down.
Drew and Bianca light the candles on the cake, we all sing happy birthday to Maya and she blows out the candles. Adam cuts the cake and Bianca serves the ice cream, Maya starts slowly eating her cake. Clare does the same, it's like they're afraid to eat it, the rest of us scarf it down and start talking while the girls finish their cake. When Maya's done she starts opening her presents, again she looks a little afraid to be doing this. Adam gets her a gift card to the music store and tickets to some concert Maya really wants to see but it isn't until March. Clare assures Maya she'll be able to go to the concert. She gets some clothes, other gift cards and a bracelet from Tris. Her last gift to open is from Clare, it's a ring with a treble clef on it.
"When did you get this? How did you get this?" Maya asks her sister smiling and admiring her ring.
"Last time Jake and I went grocery shopping," Clare answers but her voice trembles and she shakes, closing her eyes like she's trying to wash away some memory. Owen puts his arm around her and she clings to his shirt, looking more like a frightened and sad little girl than a teenager.
"It's perfect, I love it thank you," Maya smiles getting up to hug her sister and Clare releases Owen to hug Maya. "Thank you everyone this was a nice birthday," she smiles at the rest of us.
"We have to be back soon, I'll help you guys clean up," Clare offers.
"No we'll clean up after you go, let Maya enjoy her party," Owen disputes.
Tris starts to dance and Adam joins him, Bianca and Drew get more to eat, Zig is dancing with Adam and Tris now. Owen is talking quietly with Clare so I go over to Maya and hold out my hand.
"Come on, I'll make you a special birthday ice cream soda," I tell her. Very nervously she takes my hand, like she's afraid I'll bite her or something. I take her behind the counter and into the kitchen freezer. "What flavor of ice cream would you like? I can do it with any flavor," I tell her. She starts looking at the flavors of ice cream and finally picks out strawberry. I take the ice cream out of the freezer and she follows me out to the bar area again. I put in chocolate syrup and soda water; I start mixing it and look at Maya. "I have a confession, I like you Maya, I mean really like you and I know we're a couple years apart and we don't know each other very well but I'm hoping we could spend time together an…"
I stop talking because she's started crying and run into the kitchen. I stop and follow her in, she's huddled near the door and she's sobbing. I sit next to her wondering what I said that could have upset her so much.
"I like you too," she says but I can hardly hear her through her tears.
"Then why are you crying?" I question.
"We're not allowed to date, we can't have boyfriends and I don't think I'm ready for one even if we were," she says blubbering hard and I have to replay what she said to really understand it.
"It's okay, why don't we just start as friends. In fact you can call me Mark if you want, no one else is allowed to call me Mark," I offer hoping allowing her this will help her to trust me.
She nods but doesn't speak, cries for another few seconds before wiping her tears on her sleeve.
"Could you finish my ice cream soda we have to start walking home soon," she requests.
"Wait you walked here?" I question.
"Glen doesn't let Clare drive," she tells me.
"One of us will take you two home, I'll finish your ice cream soda and you can drink it here then I'll take you and Clare home," I tell her.
"Thanks Fitz, I mean Mark, thanks Mark," she says and I smile.
I get up and go back out to finish her soda, Clare comes up to the counter and I tell her Maya will be out in a minute.
"One of us could have picked you up," I say to Clare.
"We can't have people over," Clare shakes her head.
"Well I'll drop you off, you two shouldn't be walking it's freezing outside," I assert.
"Okay thanks Fitz," she smiles but it's a sad and timid smile again.
Maya comes out and I give her the ice cream soda, Clare starts getting all of Maya's presents into a bag. Maya thanks everyone again and the three of us go down to my car, it only takes a couple minutes to get them to their house but Clare has me park a couple houses down when she sees all the cars in front of their house.
"Tell everyone thanks for everything we'll see you Monday," Clare says getting out of the car.
"See you Monday Mark," Maya smiles and gets out with her sister.
I watch until they're inside and then turn around and drive back to help the others clean up. I hope Maya can trust me and be comfortable with me because I really do like her. I also hope that we find out what's going on, what Clare said to me earlier about taking her sister and running has me worried, more worried than usual about them.
Update next Sunday with the 2nd part of Maya's birthday.