SM OWNS ALL RIGHTS

A few days past by and Edward and I continued to get reacquainted. It was a little weird now though. Before everything happened it was always Edward who pulled back, he was always in control. But now I found myself being the one that pulled back or walked away when things got to intense.

I don't know what it was. I just didn't want to rush into anything again. I was so ready to run off into the sunset with him before, not caring what the consequences were, now I just felt like I had to be sure this is what I wanted before I jumped.

Edward never pushed me though. He seemed to sense I needed time to wrap my head around everything that was happening in my life. Both the good and the bad.

So now here I lay. Edward, Emmet, and Rose hunting. Alice and Jasper off doing god knows what. All I could get out of her was some story about needing to meet with some designer in New York and shopping. I lost interest when she mentioned the shopping.

Esme was around somewhere and Carlisle was in his office.

It was late or early depending on which way you looked at it and I couldn't sleep. The udder stillness of the house was driving me nuts. I have no freaking clue how I did this for three years. Alone and quiet wasn't something I was used to anymore. I missed everyone. Especially Edward.

Up until this morning when he left we were inseparable. I fell asleep in his arms and woke to his smile. I missed his smell and I missed him singing me to sleep every night.

A week had went by since my fight with Jessica and the Vanquish. I heard nothing about them except from Emmet who insisted on calling me Slugger now. I even missed him and his crazy ass.

I felt the tears start falling from my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them away angrily. My god Swan get a grip. They will all be back Wednesday. It just sucked it was only 3 am Tuesday. I only had to get through one more day and one more night and everyone would be home.

That wasn't helping me calm down. So I flipped back the covers and crawled may ass out of bed. I stood there next to the bed for a minute trying to figure out what I wanted to do.

"What did you do when they weren't here to bug the shit out of you?" I said out loud to myself. "Well you watched TV, listened to music, worked out….." It felt like there was a weight sitting on my chest and I began crying harder as I sank to the floor.

I felt like I was loosing my mind. I had gotten used to being surrounded by people, being held and touched. I couldn't handle the solitude anymore.

I forced myself to stand and walk. I walked to the door of my room and out into the hall. Before I realized where I was going I was walking into Edward's room. Still crying I crawled into his bed and curled up grabbing the remote for the TV.

His scent surrounding me helped me regain some composer. I turned the TV on and began channel surfing. Moments later there was a knock on the door. For a split second I felt bad for being in Edward's room like this but as Esme walked in smiling at me my worries melted away.

She was carrying a box and my cell. She tossed me my cell then set the box on the corner of the bed and smiled at me.

"Alice said I would find you in here. It was funny though, I didn't know I was looking for you until she told me." Esme said with a smile and a little laugh. "She said I should bring you your phone and this box. She said call her when you had both."

Before I could dial anything on the phone it rang and I wasn't surprised to see that it was Alice. "Hello Alice." I said trying to sound annoyed but I had never been so happy to talk to Alice before. I would have even talked to her about shopping… this is how desperate I was.

"Hey to you. Listen I knew this was going to suck for you so I arranged a little entertainment. I hope you don't mind but Jasper and I stopped by your mom's house." She paused probably waiting for a reaction from me but I didn't mind. I trusted her and Jasper.

"I don't mind but why didn't you just ask me?"

"I didn't know until me and Jaz were halfway through Illinois. I just got to thinking about everything that happened to you and I realized you didn't really have much from your mom's house. Plus with as fast as you headed out I was sure there was some things that needed taken care of."

"I never really thought about it until you mentioned it just now." I could just imagine the nastiness that was the fridge. Milk three years plus past its expiration date, along with the few other groceries I could just imagine the smell.

"Yeah not pleasant. I made Jasper clean the fridge. He says you owe him by the way." She giggled as I laughed out loud at the thought of Jasper cleaning moldy food out of my mom's fridge.

"Yeah I will make it up to him. Tell him I said thanks."

"I will but the reason I called is the box." I looked at the box that Esme was sitting next to. "Look in it Bella. This stuff might help you get through the next day and a half… or at least get some sleep tonight."

I crawled out from under the covers and over to where Esme was sitting. I sat back down and crossed my legs and pulled the box to me, still balancing the phone on my shoulder.

I opened the box and I dropped the phone. The tears came back as I pulled my mom's quilt out of the box. I buried my face in it and sobbed. It smelled clean, like the detergent my mom used to use…. So it smelled like home. I hadn't noticed Esme move until I felt her hand on my shoulder. She had also put Alice on speaker phone to make it easier to talk.

"Alice I…."

"Shh Bella it's ok. I didn't mean to intrude and I was going to surprise you when I got home but I saw how upset you were and I knew this would help. I packed up everything of value and shipped it to the house it should be there Thursday. This box I sent express. I didn't want to take the chance of loosing anything in it. Go through it and remember we all love you and it's torture for all of us to be away from you too. We love you Bella."

"I love you guys too." I choked out as Esme pulled me into her arms wrapping the quilt around me.

"We will see you Wednesday Bella. Try and relax." With that Alice hung up and I was left sobbing in Esme's arms in Edward's bed.

She let me cry for a little while then she pulled away slightly and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"You want to look through the rest of the box?" She asked looking into my eyes. "I can leave if you like?" She added as I hesitated for a moment.

"NO! Please don't leave me right now. Please?" I practically begged her. Grabbing her hands, "Look with me?"

She smiled and nodded as we pulled the box between us. Still wrapped in the quilt I peered into the box.

The first thing I pulled out was my baby book. My mom religiously filled out every page during her pregnancy with me. There was all the normal stuff, birth weight foot and hand prints, even a few pictures of her and Charlie moments after I was born. Looking at the pictures with Esme was comforting. I handed the book to Esme who was looking at it like it was the first copy of the bible or something. If she could cry she would have been crying right along with me.

"Bella you have no idea how precious this is. This is proof of how much your mom loved you even before she met you, you can see the love in her eyes in these pictures… in her words…" She trailed off thumbing carefully through the book. Reading every word my mother wrote about me.

I peered back into the box. Every single home movie my mom had was packed neatly into the bottom of the box. On top of them was all the photo albums my mom had of me growing up. Alice had placed a note inside the first one saying that these were the ones that had me in them. The rest would be here Thursday with the rest of the stuff.

I set the albums on the bed and began looking at the video tapes. Everything was there from my first steps to my ballet recitals. Each labeled. Vacations, trips, everything was there.

"You want to watch one? I am sure Edward has everything we need somewhere." Esme asked as she laid the baby book on the night stand. I could do nothing but nod. "Does it matter which one?" She asked.

"You choose." I managed. She smiled at me and glanced through the tapes. She picked out the one labeled first steps and walked to the TV. She pressed something and a door slid open and revealed a DVD player and a VHS player.

I looked at her surprised she knew where it was because I never would have found it. "I helped him set the room up. I know where everything is." She said with a smile when she saw my confused look.

I smiled back and scooted back up to the head of the bed and leaned against the headboard. I grabbed a pillow and wrapped my arms around it then wrapped the quilt around both me and the pillow. I now could smell my mom and Edward and it brought peace into my heart.

Esme picked up a controller for the VCR and grabbed the box of Kleenex from the nightstand, then crawled into the bed and sat next to me. She put her arm around me and I snuggled into her as she hit play.

Moments later we were surrounded by the sounds of my mothers laughter as I took my first steps as a child. Clumsy right from the start I spent more of my time falling down than actually walking but you could hear the pride in my mom's voice as I took my first few shaky steps.

Hearing her voice again brought on a mixture of peace and sadness. Peace knowing that I would forever have her voice to replay whenever I needed it. But sadness knowing I would never be able to feel her hug me or kiss me telling me everything would be ok. She would never again be able to pick me up when I fell.

I continued to cry as the tape went on showing the days following my first steps. Complete with a naked bath tub scene. I had to laugh at that. Mom didn't miss anything.

We sat in silence for a long time Esme holding me and eventually she convinced me to lay down. She grabbed another pillow and laid it in her lap. I laid my head down in her lap and she gently stroked my hair as we watched me playing in the sandbox around the age of one.

After a few more scenes of me playing and one of me running around the house naked with my mom chasing me with the camera, I looked up at Esme.

"Thank you Esme. For being here for me tonight. I didn't think it would be this bad."

"Sweetie I love you and I know I will never replace your mother and I don't want to but…. I will always be there when you need me. I love you Bella, like you were my own daughter. You have brought so much happiness into our family since you came into our lives. You have no idea what you mean to us. Bella I would go to the ends of the earth to see you smile." The tears pooled back into my eyes again.

"Shhh no more tears tonight sweetie. Close your eyes and rest. Tomorrow you, me and Carlisle can watch some more movies."

"He doesn't have to work?" I asked surprised.

"No he took a couple days off so the three of us could spend some time together." I was sure it had something to do with Victoria's presence in the area but I didn't mention it. I just let myself be comforted by Esme as I listened to the sound of my mother's voice as I fell asleep.

I had fallen asleep sometime after four am so it wasn't a surprise to me that it was nearly 11am when I woke up. I was surprised to find Esme still sitting in the same position she was sitting in when I fell asleep. She had stayed with me all night.

"Good morning sweetheart." She said as she bent and kissed my forehead.

"You didn't have to stay…. I…"

"Nonsense. I had no where else I would rather have been. Carlisle came in and sat with us for a while…. He looked at your wrist. He said if you wanted he could probably take the cast off now and fit you with a brace."

I sat straight up and looked at her eagerly. "REALLY?" I screeched. I could shower alone again. That I missed. I hated having to rely on everyone for everything. Besides it's a little humbling to be buck ass naked in front of someone as beautiful as Rose or Alice… when I was just so plain.

"Yes really!" I heard Carlisle laugh as he walked into the door. "Come on let's go get that thing off while Esme makes you some breakfast… or lunch." He said with a glance at the clock then at Esme.

I looked at Esme then. She looked different to me. Happier, content, peaceful. I crawled back over to her and wrapped my arms around her neck hugging her as tightly as I possibly could.

"Thanks again Esme. I love you so much." I whispered to her. I know Carlisle could hear but it was meant for her. "I think I would have went crazy last night if it wasn't for you."

She hugged me tightly then pushed me back slightly, smiling. "Go get your cast off while I fix something for you to eat."

I smiled and nodded as I crawled out of the bed. Leaving my blanket wrapped in the sheets and pillows.

I followed Carlisle down to his office in less than ten minutes I was finally free from the bulky ugly cast. I flexed my hand experimentally. It was sore but it wasn't to bad.

Carlisle showed me how to put the brace on and how to take it off. After he had showed me everything there was to know about the brace he held my hand looking at it.

After a moment he looked up at me and said. "Bella I want to say thank you."

I was instantly confused what had I done that Carlisle was thanking me?

"I have never seen Esme so happy. You sharing everything you did with her last night and asking her to stay with you… It meant a lot to her… and seeing her this happy…. Thank you Bella." With that he bent and gave me a hug. I hugged him back.

"Carlisle I… I think I would have lost it big time last night if it wasn't for Esme. I should be thanking her…."

"Honey, I can honestly say that I know it was her pleasure. It's not often the others need her like you needed her.. Or need her at all for that matter."

I smiled at him. I knew at that moment that I could never live without ANY of the Cullen's. They were my family now, my life and I loved them all.

"Now go take a shower or whatever you need to do. Esme said food would be ready in about thirty minutes." He shooed me out the door so I could go get cleaned up.

A/N

I would like to say thanks to everyone who has reviewed or placed this story on alert. It means more to me than you will ever know!