Angel wasn't as out of his mind as they first thought. He was lucid, if a bit ragged by the following morning.
Xander dropped in at the SGC, he was invited to a ceremony that evening where the President had been due to address the SGC, but was unable to attend so the Secretary of Defence would take his place. A recognition for the recent rescue of SG1 from Hathor.
Xander along with Janet and Jack visited Angel.
"You know why you're back here?" Xander demanded.
"Champion for the Powers That Be." He said snidely as he sat in the corner.
"They are called the 'Fallen'. They are the angels of heaven that betrayed their calling and turned on the Almighty. You will use their real name." Xander ordered. "Speaking of real names. What was your birth name?"
"What?" Angel asked in confusion.
"The name you were given when you were born. As a human before you were turned." Xander said in annoyance.
"Liam." He replied.
"Fine, then from now on you will be addressed as Liam." Xander declared.
"My name is Angel." He asserted mildly.
"No, it is not. I know some Angels, you sully their name with its use. You will retain your human name." Xander said angrily.
Jack couldn't agree more. He had been in the presence of two angels, a goddess, a god and the Almighty. This pathetic excuse for a lifeform didn't deserve that type of honour.
"Get on your feet." Jack said finally snapping. The newly returned human was sitting on his bunk moping. He was showing no respect for his superior or even for the fact that there was a woman in the room.
Jack was no chauvinist but it was clear that this pitiful human had no respect for them.
Liam tried to fight back, but he was no match for a seasoned soldier like Jack.
"Lord Xander, I believe it would serve him well if he began physical training today." Jack said. He was damned sure that this fool would learn to show some respect.
"As long as the good doctor supervises I agree." He turned to Janet. "He requires training and conditioning if he is to fulfil his role as a Champion. He has no experience of doing anything like this in a human body. I would ask that until you are happy he has recovered from his stint in a hell dimension, you monitor his condition."
"Of course Lord Xander." She responded formally.
"I want to see Buffy." Liam demanded.
"That is one thing that you are likely to never do." Xander said his eyes narrowing. Liam was beginning to push him too far.
"That's her choice, let her decide if she wants to see me."
"She already has decided. She has said that she never wants to see you again." Xander said. "If I find you looking for her, in the same city as her, I will consider your service as a Champion failed. I will send you to a place so far away that you might never see another human again."
After that Xander stormed out of the cell and teleported to the most remote place he could think of.
The deserts of Abydos were not were he landed.
Instead he found himself in the white space that he had been in when he died.
"A lot of anger Xander." He heard a familiar voice.
Sure enough there was God walking towards him.
"I bet you never thought this would be one of the hardest things you would have to do."
"He doesn't seem to care about what he's done. He only cares about himself." Xander moaned.
"I know. There is always a chance he will change. You have two hundred and twenty something years of being a vampire to over come."
Xander frowned. That sounded familiar.
"The Tok'ra!" He said snapping his fingers. "They know what its like to deal with that sort of thing, they used to be Goa'ulds."
God smiled.
"You can only try. You don't know everything and I realise that. It's why I don't expect you to get everything right the first time round." She gave his cheek a kiss. "You head off to school. Gaia will let Jack know you're ok." She said as he vanished from her presence.
"What's with the goofy look?" Faith asked Willow who was helping her get her books from the library as Xander appeared.
"Hmm, that level of goofiness, I'd say he just came back from meeting the Almighty." Willow said with wistful smile. "And she kissed his cheek again."
Faith's mouth was hanging wide open.
"You're telling me he went up to heaven, spoke with God and came back just to go to school?" She asked in disbelief.
Willow opened and closed her mouth several times trying to find an answer. She had never thought about it like that.
In the end she just shrugged. "I guess. Come on, we need to snap him out of it. I swear she does this on purpose to tease him." She giggled.
"Do you think I'll meet God?" Faith asked somewhat timidly.
"Hang around Xander enough and you will." She smiled. "If you see everyone drop to their knees and bow their heads… do the same. Chances are God just arrived."
"Yeah, Xander said the same thing." She agreed.
"Xander?" Willow said shaking his shoulder. "Time for school." She cooed.
"Huh? Wills?" He said dreamily.
"Wow, he's like he's on drugs." Faith remarked.
"Guys is Xander… here?" Buffy trailed off as she saw Willow trying to rouse the object of her search. "God kiss him again?" She asked smirking as Oz chuckled.
"Seems like. He just popped in." Willow said.
"Hey Xan! Snap to!" Buffy said slapping him on the back of the head.
"OW!" Xander said rubbing his head. "Jeeze Buff, I was having such a nice time."
"Been playing kiss chase with the Almighty again?" She teased.
Xander just stuck his tongue out at her.
"Nice come back Xan." She grinned. "Oz smelt something nasty around school. Seems a boyfriend of one his friends is messing with something demon-y… or is demon-y."
"Damn." Xander said. "Can you guys handle it? I have this ceremony at the SGC I've been invited too."
"No problem. It's likely a human messing with bad stuff so we might have to call in the Jaffa and get him sent to the SGC for lock up." Oz noted.
"Ok, their all set to handle that sort of thing anyway." Xander said.
Lunchtime saw the Scooby gang assembled in the library with Faith in attendance for her first official meeting.
"I understand there is a student meddling in things he shouldn't?" Giles began.
"Huh?" Faith asked.
"He means the student who Oz says doesn't smell right." Willow offered.
"Ah!" Xander said.
Everyone looked at him.
"What? Not my fault he practically speaks in code. And I'm supposed to be able to understand anyone!" He whined.
Everyone but Giles just laughed at him.
Giles glared at him but continued. "I believe Xander is at the Mountain this evening so as this is likely a human student, we will follow Oz's lead."
"Erm, how come?" Faith asked in innocent curiosity.
"Slayers are not made to handle human threats. The Council has special teams to deal with them. But I am reluctant to talk to the Council as yet."
Faith nodded in understanding.
"Which brings us to our next point. The Council. I was hoping Xander or Oz might have an idea what to do. I for one am still aiming to go in and kill them all." Giles said with a deceptive calm.
Xander and Oz exchanged a shrug.
"What sort of organization are they? Financially, politically, socially?" Oz asked.
"They are very old. They have been around many thousands of years since the first Slayer. They tend to kill off the public front only to create a new one, much like a phoenix. They are only as powerful as the front they create.
"The current incarnation has been around since the middle ages. They have stayed because they have strong political connections; the British Empire gave them a strong base to work with. They are one of the richest organizations in the world. Think Microsoft."
"Do they have to answer to any higher authorities, governments, gods, or a set of pre-defined rules?" Xander asked.
"The Royal family is the head of the Council. They do not run the day to day business, but they are the moral head with the authority to bring down any member of the Council if not the whole Council."
Xander and Oz exchanged another look.
"Are they mind readers?" Faith asked trying to figure out Xander and Oz.
"No, but I think they have learnt to work so well together that they don't need words." Buffy said.
"Being trapped in a small ship with only each other for a few weeks tends to either drive you to murder or give you a deeper understanding of each other." Oz offered.
Xander smirked. "Oz isn't big with the words. I talk too much. We quickly found a balance."
Xander turned back to a chuckling Giles. "Ok, we're gonna need to know everything you know about the Council. And I do mean everything, as in secrets, codes, skeletons, the works. If we do this right, and the evidence shows it's necessary, then we may be able to approach the Queen and have the Council cleaned out and put under a slightly more open microscope.
"Oz and I are going to be around for a long time. Might as well start making use of that fact."
"Long time?" Faith asked.
"Both are basically Immortal, they can both be killed but they could also live forever. Oz is a little harder to kill." Buffy said a little sadly and Oz squeezed her hand as they both knew he would likely out live her.
"You should know." Cordelia smirked causing Buffy to blush.
"Wasn't a bad thing, got us together." Oz said pulling Buffy into his lap.
"Yes, well, I will get the information to you." Giles said. "You should know that if anyone finds out I am doing this they could very well attempt to kill me. Or any of us."
"Cool, even more ammo when they attack a diplomat. One that can literally blow them off the face of the planet." Xander said rubbing his hands together gleefully.
"Try not to damage my homeland too much Xander." Giles said pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Seriously though, if you get a hint of trouble let me know, I'll shift everyone off world or at least to the SGC." Xander said dropping his goofy face.
"Of course. Is that everything then?" Giles asked.
"Just so you know. I went to the Mountain to see the former vamp. He is no longer to be referred to as 'Angel'. Most of us have met a real angel and I don't want him sullying their name with it. His real name is Liam, we will all call him that.
"I'm afraid that he was a bit demanding, he kept asking to see Buffy." He said looking at the blond slayer. "I told him 'like hell'. I think he pissed Jack off as well."
Buffy released the breath she hadn't known she was holding.
"As some of you know, I had a talk with God this morning. I got a little upset after dealing with Liam, I was heading off to the Abydos desert to vent in safety, but God redirected me and calmed me down."
"I'll say." Buffy quipped.
"As I was saying." Xander said glaring at Buffy. "She reminded me that Liam has the memories of spending two hundred and twenty something years as an evil vamp. This made me realise that we know some people who had a similar problem. The Tok'ra."
"Personally I thought the Nox was more fitting." Oz said with a small smile.
"Yeah, but we want him to improve, not develop an additional complex." Xander retorted with a grin. "But, I will speak with one of them tonight and set things in motion." Xander said.
That said the meeting concluded and they headed off for a bite to eat and their next class.
Xander arrived at the Summers' home to find Joyce and Sha're waiting expectantly for him.
"What are you wearing tonight Xander?" Sha're asked.
"I…erm… what?" He asked in confusion.
"Xander, it's a formal event, you have to dress appropriately." Joyce lightly scolded.
"Define 'appropriately'." Xander said paling. This caused both women to snicker.
"We realised that you represent your own people. Sha're would normally dress in garb appropriate for her people. As would I. But both she and Teal'c are wearing Earth clothes, so I think a simple suit would do for you." Joyce said.
"We've only got a few hours and I don't have a suit." Xander protested.
"Yes, but you're rich, can be transported anywhere in the world at the drop of a hat, and have access to some of the finest retailers in the universe." Joyce said gleefully.
To say Xander was scared was an understatement. Two women wanting to take him shopping. He still had nightmares about when Cordelia had taken him shopping after Halloween.
"What's up?" Gaia said appearing in the room very excited. "I felt Xander was terrified and it seemed to have something to do with shopping."
Xander wanted to cry.
"Xander has a ceremony at the SGC to attend. Sha're and I are both attending, but Xander needs better clothes. I don't think his armour will cut it." Joyce explained.
"REALLY!" She squealed excitedly. "We need to get Cordelia! You saw what she did to his wardrobe when he became a Spartan."
"Of course!" Joyce said. "I'll just go and call her."
"Have you no mercy?" Xander pleaded with the goddess.
"Aw, come on, it's just a shopping trip." She said giving him a side hug.
"Fine, but you can come with me to the event. Don't see why I should suffer alone." He groused.
Gaia's face lit up. "It's a date!" She said enthusiastically.
"You want to go?" He asked incredulously. "It's a boring ceremony. Long speeches, lots of hand shaking!"
"One day you'll understand Xander." Sha're said mysteriously.
"All women are nuts." Xander decided.
The women took pity on Xander and had him sorted in an hour. This may have had a lot to do with Xander offering them his credit card and saying they could go nuts.
To be honest, Xander was glad Cordelia was there, he wanted to make it up to her for helping him out at Halloween.
Xander left the ladies to their shopping and headed off to the SGC to speak with the Tok'ra about Liam.
"Garshaw would be ideal." Selmak agreed. "She is due to stand down as head of the Council. She is also not a Tok'ra as we are. We are born of a queen that moulded us through our genetic memories. She was a Goa'uld who decided to actually fight with us."
"Even better. I'll try and get by to see her within the week. Let her know if you see her?"
That sorted the issue of Liam out. Next up the ceremony.
Fortunately the ceremony was light on speeches. Arthur Simms, the Secretary of Defence was excited to meet Xander and Gaia, not to mention the three kids, Nicky, Jordy and Charlie, each of who were attending.
"If we ever needed proof that the Stargate project does good work, these kids are it. Not to mention yourself Mrs Jackson." He said with a slight bow to Sha're. "I hate to think how Earth would be if you hadn't turned up Lord Xander. Several times we almost lost good people. We actually have a copy of your 'Rescue Board' in the Joint Chiefs Situation Room, we don't bother betting on who will have to be rescued the most each year, we just bet on who will come second." He grinned causing them to laugh.
"It's good to know that there is humour and fun in the military." Joyce noted. "Too often it seems that it is all about defence or attack."
"Agreed." Arthur said. "Hopefully we will be able to put more people on rotation through the ships and Stargate, more of our people could do with exploring."
"How is the ship building going?" Xander asked.
"You haven't heard?" Arthur asked in surprise. "The first Pelicans have been built. A fleet of five to test and improve on. We were hoping you and SG1 could be there for initial test flights, especially with your family as they are experienced with you technology."
"Glad to hear it, and of course we would love to be there. Barring catastrophe of cause." Xander said.
Their little gathering broke up as the ceremony began. Xander was pleased that the SGC was being so highly praised. Arthur seemed like a huge fan of their work. He also had a welcome surprise.
"Some of you will know that we have just finished building the new Pelican Dropships whose plans were provided for by Lord Xander." He said indicating the Champion trying to be inconspicuous. "It could be another year before they are ready for active deployment. But I am pleased to announce that as of today a shipment of ODST armour is being delivered. Over the course of the next month, you will be trained in it and as soon as you qualify, you will be going through that wonder," he pointed to the Stargate, "with ODST armour as standard.
"Our scientists, who have been working with the Jaffa and Tok'ra managed to come up with our own version of a drop-pod.
"Hopefully Lord Xander will be able to check them out for us and tell us if they'll work?" He asked.
"I'd be honoured. I am amazed and impressed by your ingenuity." Xander said with a slight bow.
At the rate they were going the SGC would soon be ready for the plans for cruisers and Scorpion tanks.
"If you're going this well, might I suggest building Warthogs and Mongooses?" Xander said.
"You mean like a puma?" Jack asked.
"Shut up Jack." Xander smiled as many of those present laughed as they had seen the show.
"The fact of the matter is that these people have to cover a great deal of terrain. These high speed cross terrain vehicles are excellent for delivering medical aid and reinforcements in a hurry." Xander continued.
"A great idea. I'll bring it up with the President as soon as I see him. General please do the same in case I get swamped." Arthur said.
At this point Arthur stood down and a surprised Captain Carter was promoted to Major Carter.
Jack stood up to give a speech.
"Normally, I am a man of few words…" And he promptly vanished in a flash of light.
"I take it back, these ceremonies are very exciting." Xander said to Gaia.
Gaia elbowed him in the ribs. "Just go and find him." She said as General Hammond put the base on alert.
Xander vanished off to find Jack.
He was surprised to find him in orbit around the planet.
"What's up Jack? Hate giving speeches that much?" Xander grinned.
"I hope you've got your sword." Jack said.
"And a back pack full of ammo." He assured him.
There was a flash of light and they found themselves face to face with…
"Thor?" Xander exclaimed. "What's with the kidnapping."
"I apologise to you both. I was in a hurry to reach you." He apologised.
"You know we do have a way of communicating." Xander said tapping his watch.
"Unfortunately our communication relays were destroyed by an enemy in our galaxy. Part of my mission to Earth was to re-seed the area with more satellites."
"Oh, ok." Xander shrugged.
"So what's the big rush?" Jack asked.
"The System Lords have turned their attention on Earth after your defeat of Hathor." Thor informed them.
"Ok, so they come, we squash them, we party at the Bronze." Xander shrugged, not seeing the big deal.
"They are capable of launching a combined attack one hundred times more powerful than the previous one Apophis launched." Thor warned.
"That's bad." Jack said.
"Define 'bad'."
"At least two hundred ships."
"Good definition."
"We have come to offer assistance." Thor said.
"Now see, that would be appreciated. I've seen your work… it's great." Jack enthused.
"The vast majority of the fleet is unavailable."
"What about if we bolstered what you had with some of my ships?" Xander asked.
"It would result in many lives lost, and may still cost the war." Thor said.
"So what's the plan?" Jack asked.
"With your permission the Asgard would like to negotiate with the System Lords to include Earth in the Protected Planets Treaty."
"Is that good?" Jack asked.
"It would prevent this attack."
"That's good." Xander noted.
"Ok, so we negotiate and hopefully they leave us alone." Jack said.
"I will contact the System Lords. You may return to your planet now." Thor said as he vanished.
"Did he seem a bit harried to you?" Jack asked.
"Just a bit." Xander agreed as they vanished in a flash of light.
Four days.
That was how long they had until the System Lord representatives arrived.
The Tok'ra were working with the SGC to find as many loop holes as possible in these proceedings.
So far they had several ways for inserting not only Xander, but the Tok'ra as well into the meetings on a legitimate basis.
Jack was grouchy as he had apparently been chosen by the Asgard to represent Earth.
Back home in Sunnydale some guy named Pete wound up dead as he thought he had dosed himself enough to take on Oz.
He apparently thought Oz was making moves on his girlfriend, Debbie. Needless to say that his sense of reason had taken a vacation.
Homecoming was fast approaching. Cordelia was looking to run for Homecoming Queen. Xander was quite shocked when she approached him with a request.
"I want you to help Faith to run for Homecoming Queen."
"What!" He exclaimed.
"Homecoming Queen. You know beautiful dresses, dancing, crowns, cute boys."
"And why would she want that?" Xander asked, then realised it was dumb question. "Let me rephrase that, why would she want to run against you?"
"She's got the looks, she's opening up more. I think she needs to get into the school thing. Buffy is running too."
"Poor Oz." Xander muttered.
"Please." She said with a dismissive wave. "Running with Buffy, he's a shoe in for King. He's the coolest guy in school."
"But Faith doesn't have the experience of these things. You're Queen of Sunnydale High, Buff was Queen of Hemry. Faith dropped out without looking back!"
"Exactly. All I'm asking is that you support her on the financial side. Be her backer. The three of us will plan campaign strategies together in private."
"You don't mind if you lose?" He asked in disbelief.
"Of course I mind doofus!" She said slapping his shoulder.
"Ow."
"It'll be more of a challenge if I have decent competition. Besides, any of us can beat those other two…'contestants'." She said.
"And Faith agreed to this?" He asked doubtingly.
"Well, not yet. But she will!" Cordelia defended. "Willow will help too. They seem to be hitting off well."
"Yeah, I feel guilty about not spending more time with her." Xander said sadly. "All you want from me is money?"
"And some emotional support." Cordelia said.
"Fine, as long as Faith agrees and she isn't pressured into it." Xander relented.
Faith was far from agreeable at first. It wasn't the socialising, it was the prospect of having to wear dresses and change her style.
But Buffy and Cordelia assured her that they would only change her style slightly. They wanted to each portray a different style.
Xander decided to do the smart male thing.
He hid out at the SGC.
Charlie, Nicky and Jordy were happy to see him.
Joyce, Sha're and Gaia just teased him.
Until Giles and Jenny turned up for the same reason.
"It can't be that bad?" Joyce argued.
"Joyce, its like they have split personalities." Jenny explained. "In the library, during their 'planning sessions', they are the best of friends. Out in the public, it's a total… you-know-what fest." She said quickly compensating for young ears.
"I for one will be most pleased when this ridiculous phase is over. We never had these things in England." Giles said sipping his tea.
"So, we're all here, the girls are back home… what about Oz?" Xander asked.
"He ran." The man in question remarked as he slumped down next to Xander. "Joyce, I love your daughter, but she is insane."
Joyce just laughed. "I do recall how she was in LA."
"As you'll likely need an excuse, or face the wrath of Buffy, wanna play my aide at the negotiations?" Xander offered.
"Sure, you're not going, Gaia?"
"Not if I can help it. I hate those worms, the Tok'ra are different. Garshaw is different. Sure it's a bit of work overcoming instinct, but the Goa'uld… can't stand them." Gaia shuddered. "Unless it's to watch Xander squash them." She grinned wistfully.
"So, who wants to help me come and sort out handing Liam to Garshaw?" Xander asked.
Giles and Oz both opted to come, but the ladies decided to enjoy sometime with the kids. And gossiping. Which was the main reason Giles went along.
They were heading down the corridors of the SGC to the holding rooms when they came across George, Jack and Teal'c in a bit of a dispute.
"What's the what guys?" Xander asked.
"The rules from the Asgard are very clear. No weapons are permitted at the talks." George said tiredly.
"Oh, and I guess you don't want to be unarmed?" Xander asked the frowning Jaffa.
"I do not. The Goa'uld are not to be trusted."
"Teal'c, send the weapon to the Gate Ship. For every weapon they bring I will demand one weapon for one person. Starting with you and your Staff." Xander said. "Besides, a word from me and there will be a couple of worms wriggling on the floor for you to squash." He shrugged.
Teal'c couldn't resist a grin and handed his Staff over.
"What about your sword?" Jack asked.
"For starters, I have a much higher authority ordering me not to be with out it. But I can't see there being a problem with me carrying around some nail clippers." He said producing said clippers and causing them to gape at him.
"What? They have blades. I could turn them into a pair of scissors." He offered.
George just chuckled. "I take it you were off to free us from our guest?" He asked.
"Yeah, Garshaw said she'd deal with him." Xander explained. "He been causing problems?"
"Keeps demanding to speak to Buffy and be released." Jack said angrily.
Oz started growling.
"Easy Oz. He dies before he gets near Buffy." Xander declared.
"Won't that be against the rules?" Jack asked.
"What would you do to someone who was a threat to a civilian? Who was essentially a soldier and committed statutory rape?" Xander asked.
"Right. Forget I asked." Jack said steaming.
"Colonel, would you accompany these gentlemen and ensure a smooth transition." The General requested.
"Of course sir. Doctor Frasier cleared him already so I won't involve her."
"Carry on."
"What do you want boy?" Liam asked belligerently.
"On your feet Liam, we're going to take you to your new mentor." Xander said ignoring the jibe.
"I'm not going anywhere till I see BUFFY!" He screamed.
Liam suddenly found himself sprawled out against the back of his cell, his jaw aching.
Giles was rubbing his knuckles.
"This is Oz, he is Buffy's boyfriend. When I was exiled because of your return, I left him two simple orders. Protect Buffy and destroy you." Xander said neatly ignoring Giles' outburst. "He succeeded on both counts."
"If you fail to improve your attitude then I'm afraid you won't be able to serve as a Champion. We will consider you a lost cause. We will exile you or execute you. I'll have to seek the advice of a higher power on that one." Xander said.
"There is no where you can send me that I can't return from." Liam sneered as he rose to his feet.
Giles and Jack just chuckled.
"Time for your first lesson I think, just how much power Xander has in this Universe." Jack said.
A quick nod to Oz and he had Liam secured in his hands in front of Xander. Xander placed a hand on one of Oz and Liam's shoulders as Jack and Giles' grabbed hold of Xander's shoulders and Liam found himself in a strange crystal tunnel.
"You are now on another planet." Xander said as Oz released him. "There are many planets and some of them are remote enough that we could leave you on one and never have to worry about you again."
Liam was beginning to realise the amount of power Xander had. He'd known about his armour. Seen first hand how he took out the Judge.
He'd even seen his military allies.
But he never realised that they had access to resources and locations such as this.
"Let's go Liam." Xander said as he marched off searching for Garshaw's scent.
Oz took up the rear to make sure Liam behaved.
They found Garshaw in discussion with Martouf.
Garshaw having been told of this human's attitude and history decided to play things formally.
"Lord Xander, it is good to see you again." She said with a bow that was returned by Xander.
"You too Garshaw, and you Martouf." Xander said. "This is Liam, the recently returned human I told you about."
"Indeed. We are only too happy to help where we can Lord Xander." Garshaw said.
"And that help is greatly appreciated." Xander smiled. "Unfortunately, his attitude is not right. I fear he may be beyond hope. But the Tok'ra and yourself especially Garshaw are the best hope we have. Especially with the former Goa'uld hosts. I have contacted Ba'rum, he is travelling here as well to help lend some insight."
"Geoffrey Chesterson also offered to help when I explained the situation." Jack said.
"Who?" Xander asked in confusion.
"The guy who was host to Seth. He was taken as a host back in England about 300 years ago." Jack explained.
"Oh, cool." Xander said. "Looks like you have plenty of help coming. Please do call if you require anything with this matter."
Xander turned away to leave, but then stopped.
"For the record, I am authorising any methods you deem appropriate, including a temporary blending if you believe it would help. He is supposed to be a Champion of one of the good guys." Xander said sadly.
Garshaw and Martouf were shocked. As was Jack.
"We understand. Hopefully it will not come to that, it would not be pleasant for either party." Garshaw said.
Xander nodded, and they returned to the SGC, leaving Liam in the hands of the Tok'ra.
"You think blending might be worth it?" Jack asked, he was very uncomfortable with the idea.
"No idea. Garshaw would be best as she actually was a Goa'uld. But, well… let's just hope it doesn't come to that."