Thank you all for being patient with me! You all are amazing!

'She was tumbling through the air, white and gray flashing in front of her eyes, as cold seeped all the way to her bones. The wind howled like some unholy beast around her, her ears popping as she plummeted downwards from some great height. The sounds of screaming reached her ears over the roaring of the wind and the blood rushing in her ears. Her throat was raw as she screamed in fear. Reaching out she hoped to grip something, anything, to slow down her fall. Suddenly pain ripped through her and white-hot agony washed through her, pain that she didn't even know she could feel stole any breath that she had managed to drag into her lungs. The thin air stung her throat as she continued to fall and black laced across her vision as one thought crossed her panicked mind.

This was the end…'

"Are you listening, Salem?" a voice asked, breaking through whatever daze she was in, and she snapped her head up while blinking rapidly.

Salem was surrounded by rushing people and loud sounds of chatter filled her ears. Sam Wilson stood next to her in a clothing aisle and he was frowning at her from his spot looking at a rack of bright Christmas sweaters. She swore she could still feel the chilling wind and the smell of pines and cold still tingled her nose.

The pain had felt so real.

"Uh, sorry. I was thinking," she murmured and rubbed a hand over her sternum as the aftereffects of her dream from last night still thrummed through her.

Sam laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, his handsome face kind, and his warm brown eyes worried. Dressed in dark jeans and a soft light green sweater, Sam looked the picture of casual, except with the bright red Santa hat placed on his head. His black leather jacket was slung under one arm as he flipped through the rack. Salem pushed up her glasses and tried to offer a reassuring smile. His frown deepened and she let her gaze drift to the shopping cart by her side.

"Just lost in thought," she murmured.

He looked around at the other people milling around before shuffling closer to her in an attempt at privacy. Salem repressed her sigh as Sam's deep brown eyes shined with concern.

"You look pale," he commented with a frown marring his handsome features and she swallowed past the lump in her throat.

Ever since waking from that horrible nightmare Salem couldn't shake a feeling of dread that weighed down on her, and as the day wore on, she grew increasingly troubled. The petite woman looked over at the Avenger before lowering her amber eyes to a pale pink silky-soft thin sweater she was standing in front of.

"I…I just miss Bucky," she eventually blurted out.

It wasn't far from the truth, she missed her Soulmate terribly, and she felt his absence even more since her troubling dream. A week after an amazing Thanksgiving and another week spent back at the Avenger's Tower playing in the snow that she was definitely not used to, she decided to get some Christmas shopping done with the Falcon in tow. Since he spent the last holiday with his family, he happily agreed to accompany Salem even as she dragged him all over the city. Besides, Bucky had made sure that whenever she would leave the safety of the tower, there would be someone with her and Sam made it clear that he did not want to face an upset Bucky Barnes.

"Well, they should be home any day now," Wilson said with a comforting smile.

Salem took a deep breath as she recalled her Soulmate leaving for a mission, then a few day later Steve and Natasha being called out to join her soldier.

'Just a little more complicated than we expected,' Natasha had explained over a static-filled phone call before all contact was shut down.

The blonde pushed her glasses back in place, her slender hands dwarfed by a red and gold jacket and stared down at her smudged sneakers. The jacket was a few sizes too big, but she didn't have the heart to tell Tony when he presented it to her with a wide grin, and she lightly traced the Iron Man helmet emblem that was stitched onto the front pocket as she tried to string together a sentence that explained what she was feeling.

"I can't help but to feel that something is wrong," she blurted, now picking at a loose thread on her jeans, and felt Sam's hand tighten on her shoulder.

"It's normal to feel worried about him, but if I have learned one thing about that man, it's that he is quite resilient," he said with a kind smile filled with warmth and Salem stared at him closely.

His twinkling eyes were encouraging and his demeanor relaxed. She let the tension ease out of her shoulders slightly and Sam grinned when she returned his smile.

"Now come on, we need to get into line while it's still short!" he chirped.

Salem quickly added the silky pink shirt to her pile of items in her small shopping cart before they began their trek to the counters.

"You would assume being a member of the 'Avengers' would let you go to the front," Sam muttered, eyeing the long winding line of people in front of them and the young woman couldn't help but giggle at his forlorn expression.

"Maybe you should go fly around the block, get everyone distracted?" she suggested while leaning against her cart to relieve the pressure on her aching feet as they waited.

Wilson rolled his eyes at her before getting distracted by a display case showing off bright Christmas decorations. The blonde woman took a deep breath as the sounds of shrieking laughter, shouts, and quick conversation washed over her. The heat from the store, from the bodies squished together, had her squirming in vague discomfort while the line slowly crept forward. Salem felt her mind begin to wonder once more. Since she was alone the last few days, with Castiel visiting family and her Avenger friends on a mission with her Soulmate, she was left to her own devices. She was caught up on paperwork, spent time watching movies with Clint, and even managed to get a few sketches done while keeping Tony company in his lab. Even still, she was growing more restless. It didn't help the increasingly hollow feeling in her stomach. Someone bumped sharply into her back, jerking her from her inner musings, and sighed in relief when she saw they were next in line.

"I'll make us dinner when we get home if you want," Sam offered, finally pulled from playing with the knickknacks on the display counters, and Salem felt herself smile.

"You don't have to," she said and her smile bloomed into a grin when the man threw his arms over her slender shoulders.

"It's no problem. You get fed and I'll finally be able to watch a Christmas movie with a sane person," he responded and she laughed at his words.

"Aha! The truth comes out!" she teased, nudging him with her elbow and he chuckled at her.

The exhausted cashier signaled them and they both shuffled to the counter to pay for their things. It was when they were leaving that the young woman felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Feeling a surge of excitement fill her, she fumbled with her bags to reach her phone.

"I'll get the car," Sam said with a grin, taking Salem's bags from her hands, before disappearing out the door as people continued to rush in.

The woman finally managed to free her phone as she stepped aside to avoid being squished and she felt her smile morph into a confused frown at the number on the screen. She debated a moment while staring at the familiar number, before sighing and stepping outside while answering. The slap of cold air was just as unnerving as the voice on the phone.

"Salam Sterling! I was beginning to worry I had the wrong number!" Dr. Fitzgerald chirped into her ear.

"Doctor," Salem replied with a small cringe, immediately regretting answering, and she tucked her free hand into her pocket to try and ward off the cold.

"It's been a while! How have you been? Are you settling in alright?" he asked and she looked at the passing cars, wishing Sam would hurry, and hummed in an answer.

"I've been doing good, work has kept me busy," she replied while shifting on her feet.

She soon felt her curiosity grow as a few seconds of silence stretched between them.

"Was there something I could help you with?" she asked slowly and grimaced when he chuckled.

"Well, I was in the city on business and I remembered that you moved here," he explained and she rolled her eyes at the mock hurt in his voice.

She remembered him being very displeased that she was leaving. She perked up when she saw the familiar sleek car Sam was driving pull around the corner.

"I do miss your company and was thinking that we should meet up?" he asked and she blinked in surprise.

"Meet up?" she repeated with a frown.

Sam pulled up in front of her and she was suddenly filled with awkwardness.

"Um…sure. I have to go…talk to you later," she said quickly, barely listening to his response before she ended the call.

Salem shoved her phone into her pocket and scrambled into the waiting car. The heater was on full blast and she shivered while buckling her seatbelt.

"Who was that?" the Avenger asked curiously as they began the ride home and Salem felt her cheeks heat.

'No way I'm discussing my weird ex-boss with Sam…' she thought and felt the beginning threads of guilt curl around her stomach which twisted uncomfortably.

"Salem?" Sam asked glancing over at her with worry, warm brown eyes once again concerned, and she tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

"Wrong number," she said with a smile that she hoped was innocent.

Her friend looked at her for a few seconds, the lights from the dashboard reflecting in his dark eyes that were a little too thoughtful for comfort.

"Oh," he said and she forced herself not to shift uncomfortably in the bucket seat she was in.

"I think I'm just going to eat a small dinner and go to bed early tonight…raincheck for the dinner and movie?" she murmured and received a concerned once-over.

"Sure, but I'll be picking the movie," he warned and she smiled at him before sinking into her seat to stare out the window.

The darkening sky was lit with glowing buildings, Christmas lights curled around lampposts and storefronts, and bright headlights flashed over her face as they drove. Snow began to fall softly and she watched the busy bustle of people wandering the snow-frosted streets as her mind drifted.

"You know," Sam started as the towering building of her home came into view, "you can talk to me about anything."

Salem frowned and turned to look at him curiously. Her friend kept his gaze ahead.

"We haven't had a lot of time to talk…and you never talked to anyone about what happened at the diner," he said softly and the young woman could feel herself go rigid as she glanced away from the man beside her.

"I'm fine, Sam," she answered and received a sigh in response.

"I read the police files and seen the pictures…seen what you were like afterward," he said and Salem didn't realize she was trembling until she looked down at her interlocked hands.

"What brought this on?" she asked with a strained laugh and Sam finally looked over at her.

"I've spent a lot of time talking to people, listening to them, and I know when someone is stretching themselves thin in order to appear fine," he said and she couldn't stop the wince.

"Sam…," she began in a shaky voice but found the words stuck in her throat.

The silence that followed was terrible.

"I just want you to know that I am your friend and I am here for you," he said and they fell into silence when she couldn't think of anything to say.

Soon, though, they were pulling into the Tower and she felt exhaustion sweep over her.

Salem declined Sam's offer to walk her to her room and she trudged into the elevator with her arms full of bags. Her amber eyes lingered on her distorted reflection as the elevator hummed quietly. Her pale hair was in disarray around her pale face and her lips pressed into a thin line, and she closed her eyes with a deep sigh.

'What a day,' she thought dimly as the elevator stopped at her floor.

She shuffled to her kitchen and stopped when she saw a bright purple sticky note on her fridge.

'Echo wanted to keep me company in the gym

-C'

It read and she felt her lips twitch into a smile at Barton's messy scrawl. She shuffled to her room and took a deep breath in relief as she put her things down on her bed. Salem paused for a moment before putting away her shopping bags and changing into a pair of light gray sweatpants and a maroon colored camisole. After tugging on a pair of bright yellow fuzzy socks she shuffled back to the kitchen and stood in front of her open refrigerator for a few minutes. Nothing looked appealing, so she grabbed a small container of sliced fruit. As she nibbled on her dinner, she curled up on the couch to look over some files, then looked over more house listings sent to her by Pepper. Salem found it hard to concentrate, her brain not wanting to focus, and she decided to call it a night.

'Maybe I'll feel better in the morning,' she mused to herself while shuffling into her bedroom while sending a quick text to Barton, sliding her glasses onto her bedside table and then crawling under her blankets.

Exhaustion weighed on her limbs and she released a deep sigh while sinking into her pillows while letting her eyes slide shut.

A loud 'bang!' had her eyes snapping open as she shot upright in her bed.

Sweat beaded her brow and made her clothes stick to her body as she looked around in confusion. Her heart was rapidly beating in her chest and she couldn't seem to draw in a deep enough breath as she panted. A glance at her clock had her scrubbing a trembling hand over her face. It had only been two hours since she first laid down and her brain was still trying to push past her grogginess and a faint sense of confusion from waking up suddenly. Then, without warning, a surge of nausea swept through and her chest tightened almost painfully as a sense of doom filled her.

'Something is wrong with Bucky,' was her immediate thought.

A quick and loud knock sounded on her door once more and she attempted to scramble off her bed. Shoving her glasses on her face, her head swimming with the feeling of foreboding, and she made it to the door before the next knocks could land. Salem swung open the door and regarded the creepily blank face of Natasha standing at the threshold, still clad in her leather uniform, and covered in dirt and bruises.

"Where is he?" she managed to gasp out, a faint tremble starting in her shoulders as her friend remained silent.

"There was a…incident…," the redhead started and despite her calm tone, Salem could see the strain around her eyes. Salem shook her head and stepped forward.

"Nat…where is he?" she asked again.

Her voice shook and she had to grab onto the door to steady herself. The Widow was silent for a few seconds, her bright green eyes scanning her face before she gave a clipped nod and began walking to the elevator.

"He is in the infirmary. I'll take you there, but you can't see him just- wait!" Natasha yelled as Salem bolted past her and darted to the stairs.

Her socks helped her slide easily against the tile, even as she slipped on a few steps as she scrambled down them. Natasha was at her heels, cursing darkly and speaking rapidly into her earpiece, as she followed. Salem wasn't worried about the angry Avenger or about falling down the stairs as she rounded a corner and burst through a door and began to descend another set of stairs.

Her sole focus was on her Soulmate.

"Just wait for a second!" Natasha bit out, but the blonde just kept her feet moving even as her legs began to cramp.

Her loose pale hair slapped against her face and her heart pounded in her chest. Salem finally made it to the long brightly lit hall of the infirmary. Natasha must have called for reinforcements because Steve stood tall and broad in the middle of the hall. His uniform was in the same torn and dirty state as Nat's uniform, his iconic shield strapped to his back, and his hair dusted with dirt and sticking up in every direction. His bright blue eyes were steady and calm even as his face was pale and posture rigid.

She stumbled to a stop at the sight of him.

His left cheek was turning from dark pink to deep purple and black with yellow splotches trailing to his lower face and eye in a mottled mess. There was a recognizable pattern of harsh metal plates curled into a fist.

"You need to leave," Steve said softly, but she could clearly hear the order in his voice.

"Where is…where is Bucky?" Salem asked, taking a halting step forward, and felt a hand curl around her arm.

"Let's go" she heard Natasha murmur, just as a loud crash echoed dimly through the hall and a terrified nurse tripped through a door just behind Steve and start running from the hall.

Salem took the opportunity to yank her arm free and sprint over the room, squeezing past Steve's large frame as she did. Before she could make it to the door, the man reached forward and snapped the heavy door close. Salem looked over to the retreating nurse. Her gloved hands had faint smears of red on them, her brown chin length hair frazzled, and her brown eyes were wide with fright. Chills went through her as her brain started to fill with the memories of gunfire and screams.

'What if they came back?' she thought and she had to lock her knees in order to not collapse on the ground.

Hysteria began to squeeze around her lungs and bubbled up her throat. She tried once more to move past Steve. A warm hand curled on her upper bicep stopped her.

"Salem," he scolded and she spun around to pin him with wide eyes.

Anger mixing with fear had her brown eyes watering.

"I-I need…I need to see him," she nearly pleaded and barely registered the other Avenger sliding up beside Steve.

The man stared down at her, blue eyes troubled, and she felt her lower lip begin to tremble. Nat cursed again, before reaching out to the blonde woman with her own troubled expression.

"You can't go in there, Salem. Not when he isn't...stable," she explained and confusion briefly overshadowed the fear twisting her stomach into knots.

Natasha glanced over at Steve before her serious green eyes bore into her, "That isn't Bucky in there…It's the Winter Soldier."