I can love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave
It's a fight between my heart and mind, no one really wins this time
If you don't find the love you want, if I have acted ungracefully
I don't want to see you go
I never meant to make you want to leave
But go if you want. Make your way straight to the door
I hope that you look back before you go
'cause grace looks back before it starts to leave
In the endless fight of grace and pride

.

.

.

Damon braced himself to maintain control as Noah led him around the Gilbert manor. Damon's emotions were a wreck thanks to Elena's recent behavior. He was equally worried as he was angry.

Noah knocked on the chamber's double doors until Isobel answered to escort Damon. Isobel guided Damon through Elena's chamber to reach her bedroom. Elena was sleeping, Miranda and Jenna were sitting on a side sofa. Miranda stood when she noticed Damon's arrival.

"Mr. Salvatore, I apologize for requesting your presence at this late in the evening. I thought given the situation, you would want to be informed." Miranda explained in a tired voice.

"You did the right thing to inform me, Mrs. Gilbert. And I thank you for permitting me to visit in her chamber." Damon said seriously.

"Considering her condition and the impending marriage, propriety was not much of a concern to me."

Damon nodded and walked closer to Elena's bed. "What happened to John?" He asked curiously.

"He is talking to the doctor." Jenna answered.

Damon was relieved to hear the family wasted no time in calling a doctor to the manor.

Damon walked over to the empty sofa chair, wanting to sit next to the bed and care for his fiancé. Elena looked dreadful, he found her skin color quite frightening. She looked like a corpse. Her lips were colorless. Damon wished to hold her hand, but her hands were deeply buried under the covers with the rest of her body.

In due time, John returned to Elena's bedroom with news from the doctor. Dr. McCarthy said Elena's high fever was her body's attempt to neutralize an infection. Dr. McCarthy believed she was developing a pneumonia. Since she was suffering from delirium, it supported his diagnosis to be valid. He recommended allowing the fever to run its course, if its temperature was monitored. The fever was fighting for her recovery.

As midnight approached, the Gilbert family was barely awake due to physical and emotion exhaustion. Into the dark night, Damon remained alone in the bedroom at Elena's side. Miranda dismissed Isobel feeling at ease about leaving Damon in the bedroom alone. It was highly improbable that Damon would take Elena's virtue in such a state.

Ten minutes past three in the morning, Damon started nodding off in the sofa chair. He managed to get a half hour of rest that is until the sound of Elena's voice stirred him awake. "Damon... Damon... Damon..." She was calling out breathlessly.

Damon stood up from the chair to sit on the bed next to her. His hand gently graced her cheekbone. "I am at your side." He confirmed.

Without warning, Elena removed her arms from the covers and pulled Damon down to her level. Damon swallowed hard as her hands aggressively roamed his body. Her clammy cheek was pressing against his. Elena repositioned their bodies to remove his cravat. He stared at her mesmerized. Fortunately, Damon came to his senses when started unbuttoning his waistcoat. He caught her hands to stop her actions.

"As much as I would love for you to undress me... in bed..." Damon said uncomfortably. "You are not well, dear."

Elena pouted like a child hearing his rejection. "I want to feel your skin against mine."

"Not now." Damon said weakly trying to maintain restraint.

"Please." Elena begged. She started kissing his neck passionately.

It was hopeless, Damon was completely a slave to her. Even though she was ill, he still enjoyed her attentions. The reality of the situation only hit him after she whispered a request.

"Come again, dear?" Damon asked backing away from her.

"Bite me." She said firmly.

"You want me to bite you?"

"Yes." She cried out desperately. "I long for you. Satisfy me. Take me. Bite me. Make me yours." She violently shoved her sweaty hair away from her neck to bare herself to him.

Damon's eyes traveled from her neck to her eyes. It was at that moment, Damon recognized Elena's dazed state of consciousness. All of her actions were at the fault of her delirium. She had no comprehension of her actions or words. She was not being sincere. Damon groaned about the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Damon, I want you to bite me like always." She said pulling him close. He was practically straddling her.

"Like always?" He questioned with a raised brow.

"You bite me every night. Yet not tonight when I need you the most." She lamented, looking depressed.

"I, oh, oh Lord." Damon put the pieces together in his head. "Elena, what am I to you?"

"You are my vampire." She said possessively. "Mine eternally."

"Oh Lord." Damon's suspicions were confirmed. Elena was mentally confused and thought she was dreaming. Apparently, she dreamed about him as a vampire on a regular basis.

"What is wrong, lover?" Elena asked worried.

Damon swallowed. "Nothing, nothing is wrong. I am yours."

Elena smiled peacefully and drifted back to sleep, much to Damon's relief. He hoped she would be sane the next time they spoke. With these thoughts in mind, it was hard for him to sleep. Just past five in the morning, Isobel came into the room. She told him to go home while Elena had her bath. Damon tiredly agreed and took a carriage back to the Salvatore estate, leaving Katherine at the Gilbert manor.

As the week went on, Damon dutifully remained at Elena's side in the sofa chair. She continued calling out for him in the middle of night. When she started talking to him, Damon would stay in the living area as to not encourage her delusions. However exciting it was that she sensually dreamed of his vampire counterpart, he wished she would call out for him - the real version. She never did.

Considering the time alone he spent in Elena's chamber, it was natural that he grew curious about her personal life. Every night when her family went to sleep, he would snoop in her chamber, looking at her various treasures. Damon figured it was a great way to learn about his future wife. He found her vampire book collection, it was extensive. The book he gave her had a bookmark in it, indicating she was still reading it.

Damon never intended to see her messages, but some were misplaced on the living area's table. He restrained himself from reading the contents. Franklin Fell appeared to be the only person she communicated with in Mystic Falls. He was not surprised nor jealous since they were old friends.

By the end of the week, Damon learned several trivial facts about Elena. The most interesting fact by far was her artistic skills. She never admitted to practicing art. Sure it was common for women to collect art yet creating art was something else entirely. Even more shocking, Elena had drawn him a number of times without alerting him. She was downright sneaky.

Predictably, Elena's pneumonia lasted for two weeks. Once Damon felt confident that she would recover from the illness, he stopped visiting her. When the worry left his mind, all he had was anger towards her. He did not want to risk snapping at her while she was bedridden. Therefore he waited for a sign of her recovery to prompt a serious conversation. His sign came four days later via message from Elena.

.

.

.

Half past two in the afternoon, Damon arrived at the Gilbert manor requesting to see Elena. She agreed to the visit and permitted him access to her chamber. When Damon entered her bedroom, Elena was sitting up against the headboard feeling mostly recovered. Nevertheless, Miranda had explicitly demanded that Elena should stay in bed for another two days.

After a quick scan of the bedroom, Damon decided to sit on sofa chair next to the bed, as it was all too familiar to him. He was seriously on edge after waiting for days to have this serious discussion with her. As fascinating as her sensual dreams starring him and her drawings of him were, there were more urgent issues to discuss.

Once the couple went through the social pleasantries, Damon wasted no time in conducting his interrogation.

"You were caught in the storm. I assume it happened on horseback."

Elena nodded. She could tell something was bothering him. There was no evidence of the warm companion she had grown accustom to spending time with.

"Explain to me... why you acted carelessly enough to be in this position. Why were you not in a carriage? Why did you not ask me to escort you? Better yet to protect you?"

"I do not-"

"For the love of the Lord, do not lie to me. I will not have it. I know you went downtown." Damon said seriously.

Shock was evident on Elena's face. "Who else knows?"

"I did not tell your family or mine about your excursion, if that is what you are asking." Damon replied bitterly. "Again, Elena... what business did you have downtown?"

"I went downtown to see someone." Elena answered calmly.

"Yes, that much I gathered on my own." Damon said sarcastically. "But I want to know who, more so, as you attempted to keep it a secret from me."

Elena froze at his request. "I cannot tell you."

"Elena, do you not remember my conditions? I demand faithfulness. Demand, not ask or wish."

"How dare you accuse me of infidelity!" Elena snapped shooting daggers at him. "I can swear to you, sir, that my business downtown was not of the romantic nature."

Damon studied Elena carefully trying to determine if she was telling the truth. "If it was not of romantic nature, then why were you inclined to keep the visit a secret?"

"I hid my business from everyone, not you alone." Elena answered seriously.

Damon clenched his jaw. She was so stubborn. "Elena. I have the right to ask for closure on this matter."

Elena sighed and rubbed her eyes in reluctance. "My business downtown was for Jeremy."

"Your brother is in Mystic Falls?" Damon asked incredulously.

"No."

"Then your business downtown pertained to the letter he wrote you." Damon stated.

"Yes."

Damon crossed his arms in frustration. He was not in the least bit relieved about her behavior. "I am failing to understand why you were compelled to act alone."

"You mean other than family obligation?" Elena raised a brow. "If I had asked anyone to help me, then I would have risked their social reputation."

"Why is my reputation more important than yours?"

"You have more to lose than I. You are a master of an estate. I do not want to see the working class rebelling against you, for your supposed associations. Furthermore, if you were caught breaking the law, what would happen to your responsibilities?"

"Pardon, you broke the law?" Damon asked alarmed.

Elena bit her lip. It was foolish for her to tell him. "It was a mistake for you to find out."

Damon looked at her curiously. He was trying to understand how she jumped to such conclusions. "Pray tell, why were you indifferent enough to break the law and compromise your own reputation."

"There was no other solution. Above all, I was worried about my brother." Elena replied coolly. "My life is over as it is. I worry little about the repercussions of my actions."

Damon was taken aback by her statement. "Do you understand what you are saying? How can your life be over? You are barely eight and ten years of age. What has happened?"

"My reputation no longer concerns me. As it stands, you compromised me. Therefore I am not interested in attracting a gentleman for an offer of marriage. My life is predetermined... I will become a wife, produce an heir and die."

Damon could barely comprehend the severity of her frozen heart. Elena had no aspirations towards their married life. She was going through the motions like a machine. "And you care as little for your safety? You could have died from your illness or traveling downtown."

"I could not bother worrying about my own life." Elena replied apathetically.

"I am to determine you would rather die than marry me." Damon said sadly. His world was shattering. Seemingly, all of his efforts to please her had been futile. He was nothing to her.

Elena frowned at his conclusion. "I did not say those words."

"Yes, you did. You simply worded it differently. I cannot keep you this way." Damon said with great disdain. "You win. I have come to terms with everything. I will never be enough to satisfy you. That said, we will annul our marriage after what is socially acceptable."

"I am not asking for an annulment!" Elena exclaimed alarmed. It was her first emotional response of the discussion.

"I am. I have no desire to peddle a false marriage." He replied seriously.

"I do not understand why you are acting rash. Why are you punishing me for something I did out of love? Something I did for my own flesh and blood?"

Damon narrowed his eyes at her passionate words. "It is not about what you did or did not do for your brother. It is the fact that you did not think of me before making your decisions."

"Why must we talk in circles? I already told you, I could not involve you. My brother asked for my trust. Secondly, I could not ask you to compromise your reputation."

"I cannot help my resentment. I expect you to be transparent with me. I do not want a wife that keeps secrets from me, as I promise to always be honest with you. Regardless, if your brother asked for your trust, you should have placed your trust in me. As man and wife, I think of us as one person. Your problem becomes my problem." Damon let out a deep breath. "I have done nothing but show you my limitless devotion. I do not understand how you think me capable of betraying you... why betraying you would be the same as betraying myself."

"I am willing to understand your point of you but may I remind you, we are not married." Elena tried to reason. While in truth, his statement was most beautiful thing she had ever heard, creating a warm pit in her heart.

"The reason why we are not married is because you refuse to set a date." Damon said matter-of-factly.

"What do you expect me to say? I have confirmed multiple times that we will marry next month."

"Beyond my resentment about your recent business... you also do not care for me." Damon said bitterly. "I have seen minimal encouragement from you since our initial engagement."

Elena's eyes widened in confusion and shock. "How can you say that? We spend the majority of our days together in passionate embraces?"

"Trust me, I am well aware that you enjoy being intimate. You seek the way I make you feel." Damon rolled his eyes unimpressed by her statement. "However, I believe your actions are purely lust driven. Caring for someone is a different type of action entirely."

Unfortunately, Elena could not argue with him. Her lustful feelings were blatantly obvious. "Please explain your reasoning that justifies my lack of care."

"It all shows in your actions. You do not want to spend the rest of your life at my side, as you have 'predetermined'." Damon said snidely.

"You do not care if you live or die. You paid no regard to my adamant feelings for you. Because if you did..." Damon choked with emotion. "If you did... then you would respect my love for you. How could you have been so foolish? How could you not consider that your death would equally be my own? You should know by now that I think of you night and day... any day without you is no day at all. Without you, I am nothing. I cannot think of another way to prove my utter hopeless love for you."

Damon made a disgusted face. "With all this said, you have the audacity to say that your life means nothing, when it means everything to me."

Suddenly, Damon stood up from the chair. He paced for a second before addressing her. "I have come to a most startling conclusion... I hate you." He shouted the last words in pure fury.

Elena was taken aback by his words. The amount of emotions that he ignited within her were unbearable. Her soul was on fire, completely unhinged at the core. Her heart was racing unable to cope with the present. Her mind was a jumbled mess. She could not form any words, instead she gawked at him with her mouth slightly open.

Damon shook his head at her. Her lack of response only brought on more anger. He was an inch away from reacting violently. He had enough of her. If it were up to him, he would never see her again. "As we have nothing further to discuss, I will take my leave of you." Damon said coolly.

Elena blinked at his last words and managed to form a reply. "Wait! Damon, please do not leave."

"What? Why?"

"I do not want you to leave." She blurted out.

Damon frowned and walked away. "I no longer pay regard to what you want."

Elena moved the blankets aside to get out of bed. "Please. Stay with me."

"There is no incentive for me to stay with you. You have recovered." Damon said seriously. He hated her, what else did she want?

"Stay..." Elena begged him. "I love you."

Damon looked at Elena in bewilderment. He was positive his heart stopped beating for five seconds. "Pardon?"

"Will you stay because I love you?" Elena continued pleading while walking closer to him.

Damon stared at her. He was at a loss for words. He had not expected her declaration of love, even more so, after declaring his hate for her. The tide between them had change.

"I love you. Continue to hate me, I understand your reasons. Hate me, but please stay with me. I promise to open my heart to you. I am in agony because I have caused your agony. I am not unfeeling, I feel you. I do wish to be your wife for the rest of my life. I am only yours. I beg of you... give me the chance to prove it to you, even if you have reason to doubt me." Elena said in a rush that by her last word she was out of breath.

Damon eye's scanned Elena's body with desire. She was inches away in nothing but a more or less transparent nightgown. She stood up in haste, forgetting to wear a robe. Her big brown eyes were pleading him to say something. Damon unconsciously licked his lips while preparing a reply.

A/N: I love you enough to update twice in one day. I hope to hear your thoughts on the climax. Favorite moment? Be Good & Review!

It's a relief to write this chapter. I've been thinking about it since the start of the story. Damon's reply is next chapter. (cough) If only this story was m-rated. (cough)

Trivia: What Damon was saying earlier... It would be more respectable for them to get married and annul, than to break the engagement. 19th century social rules were strange that way.

Song: No One Really Wins by Copeland