Biting the Hand that Feeds You
A Harry Potter fic by Andrew Joshua Talon
Disclaimer: This is a non profit fan based parody. Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling and Time Warner. Please support the official release.
Written with Scriviner...
Pansy was, to all public appearances, not much good on a broom. She could make it fly, certainly. She could turn in the air, go up and down. But her skills were just restricted to the basics. After all, a proper Pureblood lady didn't flash her knickers on a broomstick. A proper future Mrs. Malfoy didn't show off.
Then again, a proper future Mrs. Malfoy probably didn't steal her father's broom and practice flying around in defiance of him, either. A proper future Mrs. Malfoy wouldn't run off to hide with Harry Potter in a Muggle town. And a proper future Mrs. Malfoy didn't charge into battle for a boy she had grown very fond of over the course of a week and a half.
Then again, Pansy hadn't wanted to be Mrs. Malfoy for a long time.
She shot forth low to the ground, her shoes nearly scuffing against the pavement as she flew through the deserted streets. She kept her movements conservative, saving her energy for the maneuvers to come. Those who thought riding a broom wasn't real exercise had never had to tolerate... What had that Muggle telly show called it? 'Multiple gee turns?' Having to fight against gravity on a routine basis was a good bit of exercise for anyone. She hopped up over a wrecked car, and dove through an alley. Dumpsters whipped by her, as did a frightened cat. She turned the corner, and let herself fly up to peek over the rooftops.
The giants were marching, filing in a few columns to get to the factory from multiple directions. And behind them, moving slowly, was the giant Bellatrix. Pansy frowned as she assessed the huge woman. She looked injured, tired. As though she'd been poisoned. But by what? The only thing strong enough to poison across the barriers of a true homunculus was Basilisk venom. Where had she gotten exposed to that?
Unless... Harry had fought a Basilisk, hadn't he? If he'd been bit, and given phoenix tears (and Pansy knew Dumbledore had one, of course), then maybe...
Oh Merlin, Pansy thought, her hands now shaking. No... No! Don't think like that! He's still alive, he has to be!
She saw spellfire erupt from several buildings nearby Draco's factory, arcing into the air to hit the giant spearhead. She could hear them roaring in rage. She saw Bellatrix limped slightly. She took a deep breath.
Here goes nothing, she thought. She dove for the street again, using the buildings as cover. She shot behind a McDonalds and flew through the drive-thru, kicking in another burst of speed to curve around a lightpole. She could feel the booming thuds of Bellatrix's footsteps. She looked up at the huge construct as she approached the feet, and took another steeling breath.
She shot right up, leaning forward and fighting gravity to rocket up between the giantess's legs for her stomach. She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the stomach of the giant Bellatrix, and summoned her magic.
"SECTUMSEMPRA!" She bellowed, and she swung her wand upwards. The curse glowed bright white as it slashed through the belly of Bellatrix, and the giantess howled in rage and pain. Pansy had opened up a deep gash, but it wasn't wide enough. She cursed and tried again, throwing her broom into it to extend the length of the slash! "SECTUMSEMPRA!"
Bellatrix's hands swung for her, and Pansy shot up out of her grasp. She tried the curse again, but the backwash from Bellatrix's arms sent her tumbling end over end. She regained control, just in time for a giant Inferi to leap up at her. Pansy shot to the side, and swung her wand again.
"SECTUMSEMPRA!" She bellowed, adding the swing of her broom to the effect of the wand movement. It produced just the effect she wanted, too-The giant's head was cleanly severed from its body and the decapitated corpse fell to the street below. Pansy darted out of the way as Bellatrix's foot slammed down. The force again sent Pansy tumbling, and she desperately tried to right herself.
Pity she didn't see the stop sign. A split second later she was on her back, screaming in pain as she laid crumpled on the hard pavement. Above her, Bellatrix cackled.
"Aw... Little girl tried to save her savior?" Bellatrix cackled. "I didn't... Wait..." Bellatrix leaned over and squinted at Pansy, who could do little more than shriek in pain. The giantess's eyes widened, and she laughed.
"OH HO HO HO HO! Parkinson?! A blood traitor after all?" She cackled. "For love of Potter! I never thought I'd see it... But if you insist on joining him in death," and here she smirked as she lifted up her fist, "I'll send you on your way~..."
Pansy grimaced, feeling bones shift unnaturally inside her. She gripped the pavement, hard. She closed her eyes.
... I never even got to... To say sorry to Granger, she thought. She couldn't help a snort. Apologize... Merlin, I really did turn Gryffindor thanks to him, didn't I? She opened her eyes, and managed a defiant smirk as the fist filled her vision. I guess I'll tell him off for that... When I see him again-
A bronze fist slammed into Bellatrix's smirking face, and the giantess's punch was sent off course.
And then she was flying, in horrible agony. She felt a lithe arm around her, and a feminine body as the impact of the fist rattled every window around them for blocks. Pansy managed to wrench her head up, and blinked up at the white faced Hermione.
"Granger...?" She managed. Hermione shook her head.
"I'm a Gryffindor, remember?" She said. "Had to save you."
"Well... W-With how I've been acting, I can't really... Speak," Pansy managed. Hermione set her down and stood up. Pansy managed to look up to Bellatrix. The great Talos had appeared and was swinging its huge fists for the giantess. The giantess was taking the hit, and returning her own. But unfortunately, even in her injured state, Pansy could tell that while Bellatrix's injuries were healing (save for her stomach wounds, she noted with pride), the Talos' damages were not being repaired as fast.
And then the chill of Dementors fell over her, and Hermione stepped over her to put herself in front of the injured Slytherin. The bushy haired girl breathed hard, holding up her wand.
"Granger," Pansy tried, "I-I have to tell you-"
"Save it," Hermione said with a little smile. "I wouldn't believe you anyway."
Pansy coughed and almost managed a laugh. "Clever... Clever girl..."
The Talos Valeyard had a long, storied history of battles with giants, dragons, even a Kraken once off the coast of Norway. Neville had gotten the history lesson from his Gran, several times. Every time they had a battle, this mighty Talos and the Longbottom clan pilots had triumphed.
Neville was really hoping he wasn't going to be the one who broke that long legacy of victories. But frankly, it wasn't looking very likely.
A fist to the chest of the Talos sent him stumbling back and he barely kept the great machine from falling. Bellatrix cackled, swinging a foot up into the hip of the Valeyard, which knocked him off balance. He struggled furiously to keep it upright, pulling on the reins as hard as he could.
"NNGH!" Neville grunted. Luna sat next to him, and held his shoulder.
"Ronald, we could use more support," she very calmly shouted out the side hatch of the Valeyard. One of the Aurors manning the turret platform took a deep breath.
"MR. WEASLEY! MORE SUPPORT!" He bellowed. "YOU STUPID ARSEHOLE!" He added for good measure.
"I'M SUPPORTING, I'M SUPPORTING!" Ron yelled back. He circled around and shot off several Reductor curses at Bellatrix's head. They impacted, but only made the giantess laugh. The Aurors on the shoulders of the Valeyard fired off their own spells, as Draco Malfoy sent up a storm of curses at his aunt.
"YOU LOUSY BITCH! I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO BE MADE AND YOU'RE RUINING EVERY BLOODY THING!" Draco screamed, as he also fired off several offensive spells.
"Taking it so seriously," George commented, as he unleashed an Incendio at the giantess.
"Well, it is serious business," Fred added, letting loose a Blasting Curse. "Oi Malfoy! SCATTER!"
The broom riding wizards all shot off in different directions as Bellatrix lunged forth. Neville yanked back on the reins, and used the damaged hip of the mecha as an axis. He spun away, letting the giantess crash into a large building. It was smashed into ruins, and Bellatrix laid sprawled out amid the debris of furniture and cheap siding.
"Haa… Haa… Well, that's a brief respite," Neville said, "but she's going to get up soon!"
"You could strike while she's down," Luna suggested. "But that might injure Harry, given he's in there." The blonde girl hummed. "The fall probably didn't do him any favors though."
"I'll hit her head! He should be fine!" Neville cried. He directed the Valyard to walk towards the slowly recovering giantess. He lifted one of the arms, and brought it slamming down on Bellatrix's head. He lifted up the next arm and slammed it down too. And again, and again, and again…!
"YOU! BITCH! DIE! YOU! TORTURING! PSYCHOTIC! WHORE!" Neville screamed. Luna rested a hand on Neville's arm, and he abruptly stopped. "Ah?"
"Neville!" Luna said, a bit of recrimination in her voice. Neville scowled.
"She-She tortured my parents into insanity!"
"I know, but there is no indication she was a whore," Luna said primly. "Psychotic bitch, yes. I would also suggest 'murdering cunt'."
Neville blinked, and smiled brightly. "Merlin Luna, this is why I love… Er…" He turned bright red.
"Battle? Crisps? Giant mechanical robots? Am I getting warm?" Luna asked calmly. "Also, Bellatrix is getting back up."
"No she isn't," Neville growled. He lifted up the good leg of the Talos… And then there was an ominous creak and shudder below them. "Uh oh."
"Uh oh?" Luna asked.
"I forgot the damaged hip-!" The Valeyard trembled, and began to pitch over backwards. Neville reached out one of the great arms of the Talos, and grabbed hold of a building. It crumbled and shattered under the grip of the giant hand. Neville was at least able to keep the Valeyard from falling onto its face, but it went to one knee. The Aurors on the shoulders yelled and shouted in shock and fear. One of them stuck his head into the porthole.
"Mister Longbottom! Mind getting this thing back up?!" He shouted back.
"I can't! The hip's damaged!" Neville shouted back. He looked up and saw Bellatrix's grin. He growled. "I suggest you get off."
"Wha-?"
"GET OFF! ALL OF YOU!" Neville shouted. The Aurors all jumped off onto the rooftop. "You too Luna!"
"I don't think so," said Luna. She held up her wand and pointed it at the helm. Neville grabbed her shoulder.
"Luna! Get out of here!"
"No, I don't think so," Luna said, waving her wand. "Contego." She pulled on the straps. "Please assume the bracing position."
Neville saw the giant Bellatrix charging them, and lifted the arms of the Talos up. Bellatrix slammed into it like a collapsing skyscraper. The Valeyard was sent slamming through another building, and Neville reached up to grip the shoulders of Bellatrix. He rolled her underneath the great Talos, and slammed her down into the pavement. She screamed in their face, hurting their ears. Neville managed to pull back and slammed the Valeyard's fist into the side of her face. It shut her up, momentarily.
"Icky… Little… Longbottom," she hissed, loud enough to rattle bones. She smirked. "Gonna have to hit me harder to make me feel it~..."
Neville seethed and punched her again. The golem's jaw shattered. Bellatrix spat into the helm of the Valeyard, covering the viewport. Neville reached back up and slammed his fist home!
"Neville," Luna said. "I think we're in trouble."
The helm port opened, and a black robed figure stuck his wand in. "Avada-!"
"REDUCTO!" Neville bellowed, and the man's hand vanished in a red blast. He screamed, and Luna fired off another spell to send the Death Eater spinning away. Neville turned his attention back to Bellatrix, as the gore slid off the helm. His eyes widened.
"Oh, bollocks-"
Bellatrix's knee slammed into the bowed helm of the Valeyard, and the entire structure nearly caved in. Only Luna's shield prevented the entire helm from being crushed. Neville yanked on the reins and struggled to right the Talos, but blows rained down all over them. They slammed into another building, and Neville could only hold the arms of the Valeyard up against the kicks and punches of the huge giantess. He grit his teeth as he tried to think up something, anything…!
"Luna? I… Well you already know, but I wanted to say it again. I-I love-!"
Luna rested a hand on his. She smiled at him. "I know," she said softly.
Amelia Bones sighed as she walked out of an unproductive meeting with the Minister.
Well, it wasn't much of a meeting. She'd spent the better part of fifteen minutes shouting at the idiot through his locked and warded door, demanding that he lift the lockdown on the ministry. His response in turn had been demands that she have the Aurors sent out to deal with all the 'obviously false' rumors of Voldemort attacks that were floating around from the 'undesirable elements' in Knockturn Alley.
When she tried to explain that she didn't have any Aurors to send out, since they were mostly on strike, all she got were screams about having her fired for incompetence. The fact of the matter was, that of the few that had come to work, they were the ones receiving the reports that there was some sort of major attack underway somewhere in Surrey. No one had any further information and Amelia couldn't send anyone to investigate because Fudge had overridden her orders and demanded that those Aurors begin arresting anyone spreading those rumors.
She had Muggleborn students trying to call in reports on the Floo, but that was when the imbecile had the Ministry placed on lockdown. Because if the Dark Lord was attacking, that meant that his 'brilliant' embargo plan to appease You-Know-Who had failed spectacularly and any chance he had of salvaging his career had been flushed away.
Locking himself in his office, and doing the metaphorical equivalent of sticking his fingers in his ears and chanting loudly, "I can't hear you." over and over was about the extent of the action that Cornelius Fudge had been willing to engage in.
She wondered briefly if it would be worth the time in Azkaban to just straight kill him and clear a path for someone with integrity and an actual brain. Sadly, she had her oaths to the Ministry and to her own personal ethics. That left her stuck. Officially, there was no action she could take, other than to send her few working aurors in the field on a sweep of Knockturn and Diagon Alleys to round up anyone claiming that something was happening.
She stalked towards her office, angrily polishing her monocle and trying to think of something else that could be done. The Floo in her office wasn't part of the general ministry lockdown, so she still had some access to the outside world, but there wasn't much for her to work with. She'd tried to reach out to Alastor Moody, hoping the retired Auror would agree to assist and at least investigate the rumors, but his Floo was shut down with a message indicating that he was overseas for the foreseeable future.
That was such a shame. He'd told her that her ambition would screw her over and boy, had he been right.
"Should have put him in charge of this mess," she muttered. "Retirement, bah! Just an excuse for him to pop off."
Her secretary rose to his feet, an alarmed expression on his face, "Madame Bones-"
She held a hand up, "I don't want to hear it, Milton. I've just finished screaming at our beloved minister and would prefer not to have to start screaming at you."
"But, ma'am-"
"Not." She said sharply, jerking the door to her office open. "Now!"
"- you have visitors." Milton finished his statement meekly.
Amelia stopped dead in her tracks as she found herself confronted with a veritable plethora of high foreign officials. She recognized the Ambassadors from the American Department of Magic, the Russian Komitet Magiya, The French Ministry of Magic, and the representative of the Japanese Emperor.
All stared at her as she stood in the doorway to her office.
She realized belatedly that with the minister choosing to keep himself hidden away from everyone else and Dumbledore in his role as the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW incommunicado, that pretty much left her as the face of Magical Britain to the outside world.
… Crap.
"Gaspoja Amelia Bones." Alexander Volkov of the RKM rumbled. Volkov was a bear of a man with harsh features and a predilection towards wearing heavy fur coats and little furry hats regardless of the actual temperature. He unfolded himself from the small ministry approved guest chair in front of Amelia's desk and kept unfolding. There was a lot of Alexander Volkov. "We are coming to you, very troubled. Very troubled, indeed."
"I am sorry to hear that, Ambassador Volkov." Amelia demurred. "I… I would like to help you if I am permitted to do so."
"Permitted. There seems to be the rub," Germaine Valois, the French Ambassador murmured in perfect, if mildly accented English. He had been standing and was easily taller than Volkov, but he was built willowy. His features angular, but not without humor and he was dressed in a formal style Wizarding robe. "We have, all of us, been making our attempts to see Cornelius for most of the past hour."
"I am sorry to hear that , Ambassador Valois," Amelia replied. "It is my understanding that the Minister has been indisposed-"
A dark-skinned woman with long, straight hair hanging loose around her pretty face snorted explosively. "You mean, 'hiding' don't you, Madame Bones?" Ambassador Enola Zuni spoke with a broad drawl, the accent softening the impression her exotic features. The conservative pantsuit helped, although the heavy, black leather jacket made her seem all the more rugged.
She continued, "We've been trying to dig Fudgy out of his office all this time and all he's done is lock down the building. We're now stuck here and being kept out of communication with our embassies."
Volkov held up a massive hand holding the thumb and forefinger a half an inch apart, "Came thiiiis close to kicking down door." He inclined his head towards Zuni, "If she had not suggested trying to speak to you, Gospoja, my foot even now would be sporting splinters."
"And so would Fudge's ass, I'm betting," Zuni drawled, her hand at her hip resting idly on the sidearm she had there. Amelia was glad that their ambassador at least didn't seem to share in the usual American Wizarding tendency to shoot first and ask questions later. "And unfortunately that would cause a diplomatic incident bigger than last New Year's sake bombs at the Japanese Embassy.
The quiet Japanese woman in a heavily layered white formal kimono with a sakura petal pattern on it that moved and sent sprays of petals across the white background every time she moved, inclined her elegantly coiffed head very slightly and said without specifically addressing anyone, "Those responsible were reprimanded."
"Quite," Valois remarked dryly.
"Well, other than helping prevent a diplomatic incident," Madam Bones said carefully, in the measured tones of an experienced politician, "Is there anything I can do to help our esteemed foreign colleagues."
The four exchanged glances, before all eyes turned to Volkov.
"We were going to offer to help you. We have been monitoring situation in Surrey." Volkov said gruffly. "It is bad. Very bad. Almost worse than Inferi troops the Germans sent against us in the last World War. I know you are stretched thin due to recent financial crisis, but we expected a bigger response given what is going on."
"I was given to understand that there was some sort of… disturbance in that area, yes. But…" Amelia almost choked on her own words, "I was informed that it was of no concern."
"Of no concern?!" Valois sputtered, "We are looking at what is on the verge of becoming the most catastrophically huge breach of the Statute of Secrecy in decades and the British Ministry is essentially sitting on its hands!"
"Surely not!" Amelia cried in reply.
"Then it is further compounded by your Ministry trying to keep us locked in here, incommunicado from our embassies in what is practically a case of kidnapping," Valois continued, clearly warming up to the subject as he spread his hands eloquently.
Volkov's eyes narrowed, "You do not know what is going on, do you?"
Amelia tried to decide whether her own national pride was going to get in the way of hopefully getting something accomplished that might actually make a difference. She sighed and finally admitted, "No. I don't have any Auror teams that are in the area. They're tasked with every other brushfire that keeps popping up since the strike."
The ambassadors traded glances once more. Volkov fished in his coat for something that appeared to be an oversized wallet. "We assumed it was your people who were onsite trying to mitigate the damage." He flipped the wallet open to reveal a mirror which was displaying a scene of carnage involving a veritable horde of giant inferi and a handful of aurors on building rooftops shooting at them.
Amelia stared, "And this…"
"That," Volkov pronounced darkly, "Is occurring right this moment."
"The town of Little Whinging is pretty much wrecked." Zuni said, "The Statute is barely holding since someone seems to have rigged up a ward around the entire town confounding people and making them turn away before they get too close. They also cut all the telephone lines and radio broadcasts… but there were a few that managed to get out. We've got our Disinformation Department Muggleborn working on disabling the surfers they were sending the information out on. We can do at least that much since apparently those surfers are in the US."
"Surfers?" Amelia asked in confusion.
"I'm assured that water is involved in disabling the… the… things." Zuni shrugged, then added defensively, "I am not a technical person."
Amelia kept watching, "Those… I recognize those people. Those are some of our Aurors, but everyone here was part of the strike. In fact I recognize Roberts and Smith there. They were in the picket lines as late as this morning."
"Valiant as they are, Amelia," Valois continued, "They aren't anywhere near enough. There's hundreds of the undead giants. I have my embassy guard on standby to assist in keeping this contained, but I… we need permission from the British ministry to deploy them." He glanced around the room. "And unfortunately, when we mentioned it to Fudge, he began screaming that it would be considered an invasion of British sovereignty and tantamount to a declaration of war."
"That's insane." Amelia continued to stare. "Wait… how is this image being relayed to us?"
"Trained raven familiar with an enchanted eye." Volkov said. "Not that we are engaging in any such research. It was a one-off prototype that we happened to have handy at our embassy." He added a trifle too fast. Zuni rolled her eyes.
"The point is, we are all prepared to render assistance," The Japanese woman who none knew the name of spoke, cutting through the babble. "I myself have a cadre of Maho Shoujo waiting at the embassy for deployment at my word. But I cannot send word."
"It is against Russian interests to allow the Statute to be broken. Against all of our interests," Volkov rumbled.
"Wait…" Amelia said sharply as the image panned across the mirror. "That blonde person on the broom who just passed by-"
"Oh, him…" Volkov rumbled, "He appears to be the one organizing your Aurors. Our analysts assumed he was some higher ranking Auror who got the position from nepotism. Even the senior officers appear to be deferring to him."
"That's no Auror." Amelia said in a quavering voice, "That's Draco Malfoy."
"Malfoy," Valois said slowly. "Isn't that…"
"The name of one of your local Dark Lord's high ranking lackeys, wasn't it?" Volkov said in surprise. "But if he's the one responsible for the giant inferi…"
"... which we all assumed since that's a gigantic Bellatrix Lestrange rampaging through the town…" Valis continued for the larger man.
"This is not just an attack, then." Zuni said, "Looks like some of your Dead Bleepers decided to get themselves promoted."
Amelia looked at all of them, "You are thinking this is some sort of internal power struggle among the Death Eaters that's spilled out into the muggle world."
"Would your Aurors willingly follow a Death Eater?" Valois asked. "He seems quite young."
Amelia shook her head, "He isn't… his father is. But somehow he's in charge?"
The Japanese woman shook her head, "My people saw one of his employees hiring your striking aurors from the picket lines within minutes of the attack occurring. They believe he has legitimate business interests in the area and may simply be seeking to protect them."
Everyone looked at the woman and she inclined her head slightly, "One of my people is already onsite, working with them. The rescue effort and defense of the muggles appears to be a sincere one."
"So where does this leave us then?" Volkov asked. "I have my Soldyat awaiting my order."
Amelia blinked as she thought about where the attack was happening. Why did that name sound so familiar? Her eyes widened, "My god. There's a ministry safehouse in that town. My niece is there."
Volkov blinked in surprise then rumbled, "So you will allow us leeway to operate on British soil?"
"I was going to allow you even if Susan wasn't there," Amelia said grimly. "But we need to do this subtly, otherwise we are going to open up an entirely new can of worms in the ICW."
"This needs to be contained." The Japanese woman stressed.
"I'm ready to claim my embassy guards were having a peaceful day off when they got caught up in all of this," Zuni said carefully.
"Likewise." Volkov rumbled.
Valois shrugged, "My personnel would not be noticed."
"My Floo is at your disposal ladies and gentlemen." Amelia told them, then frowned, but how to keep this quiet? Ah. "Have your personnel volunteer to assist Mr. Malfoy's men. They're already in place. If there are any questions about their presence, I'm certain we can claim that they were looking earning some additional money working for Mr. Malfoy."
The Japanese woman added, "I believe we have enough Japanese disguise pens to ensure everyone's personnel will have the appearance of British ex-Aurors."
"Let's hope we can get everyone there in time," Valois murmured worriedly.
Harry reached out his good hand, and focused. He grit his teeth against the agony of his broken arm and the burning fumes of the acid. Bellatrix seemed to be shifting around a lot, as his balance was almost thrown off. He wedged himself as hard as he could, groaned and narrowed his eyes.
"Come on… Come on…!" His hand shook as he willed his magic towards his wand. It began to shake, and jerk around. Harry's eyes bulged as he put his full power behind it.
"Come on... Come on...!"
His arm fell as gravity seemed to flip over and he was sent slamming into the side of the esophagus. "ARGH!"
"Oh, that looks bad," observed Cedric. "Really bad."
"IT IS BAD," Harry gritted out angrily. Cedric beamed.
"Then my powers of observation are as keen as ever! By the way, Bellatrix is fighting your friends. You want to see more?"
"YES," Harry groaned. Cedric shrugged.
"Well, you're the one with Legilimency. Go ahead, give it a shot. Unless you need the Hat to do your thinking for you too. It doesn't have as nice of legs or arse as Granger, but if that's what you're into-"
Harry blocked out Cedric, and shut his eyes tightly. He focused his magic, pushing his power as far as he could make it go.
All right… All right… I'll show that stupid ghost hallucination… LEGILIMENS!
Images filled his mind. Feelings and thoughts and impressions from dozens of people. He tried to narrow his search down, tried to get specific minds…
Dementors staring her down, Hermione readied her wand. She focused on her happiest memories, even as Pansy gasped for breath behind her. "Harry… Ron… My parents…"
Pansy groaned behind her, filled with pain. Harry... Mum... Dad...!
Ron dove on Harry's Firebolt, firing curses at the back of Bellatrix's head. They were caught in her hair, but Ron kept shooting. His wife was in there, his best friend had been eaten…! "YOU SLUT!"
Ginny was on a rooftop throwing curses at giants, as one toppled over right for her. She ran desperately, trying to get Dean out of the way but there was no time…!
NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ME GETTING MY MERLIN DAMNED AUDI! OR MY HOT REDHEAD! Draco Malfoy thought furiously.
"So, you got all that?" Cedric asked, smiling. "How does it make you feel?"
Harry took a deep breath. He looked down at the pit of acid. He let go, and fell into the pool. Cedric watched him dive, blinking a few times.
"Perhaps that wasn't how I should have approached this," the ghost mused.
Ron was thinking, This was it. They were as good as dead.
Neville's Talos had lost a leg and was pinned under giant Bella and about to be pounded. Ron was still too stunned to move. He'd lost track of his broom, he probably broke the fingers in his wand hand, but the muscles had cramped up enough that he couldn't let go of his wand even if he'd wanted to. He was stuck on a building rooftop and unable to do... anything. Unable to do more than watch as Bellatrix LeStrange cracked open the Valeyard's head armor and killed his friend and his wife.
The surging horde of giants were rallying as the meager defenders fell back under their onslaught. Unless you hit them just right, they would just keep on going and going.
He could barely move anything. Even trying to lift his arm to make the approximation of a wave with his wand brought forth nothing but waves of pain up his shoulder.
He tried to scream in frustration, but all that would come out of his throat was a choked sob.
He caught sight of Malfoy and his sister, flying side by side, shooting curse after curse, covering Hermione's retreat as she carried Parkinson. Trust the Ferret to run, Ron thought to himself, but not angrily. At least he's taking people with him when he does.
Ron was the immense hand of Bellatrix pull back, intending to deliver the final smash into the Valeyard's head, when an immense white streak suddenly slammed into her shoulder knocking her half off of the Valeyard and drawing a scream of rage and frustration from the insane giant witch.
He blinked, wondering at who could have fired the spell that had saved Luna's life... at least for a little while longer... when he realized that more of the white streaks seemed to be falling at tremendous speed from the skies. A few practically slammed into and all but burst through the giants as they struck. The giant closest to the building he was on had time to stupidly turn its head towards the rain of white death, only to have its head disappear as something streaked through the head and slammed at great speed into the roof right next to Ron.
Ron stared.
It really was all he could do. On the roof next to him was an immense white Polar bear. It's stinking breath puffing into his face. He managed to move his head enough to realize that the bear was wearing some sort of heavy plate armor and on its back was someone who was obviously a Wizard. He had a heavy fur coat on him and he was in the process of putting back on a beret that sported some sort of unit insignia, but it was too far and too small for Ron to make out. His hair was blonde and appears to be in a close cropped buzz cut. The man was muscular, strong featured and had a chin you could crack walnuts with.
The man hopped off the immense bear, which reared up on its hind legs and saluted the man before vanishing upwards in another white and silver streak.
"Whu- wha-?"
"Anti-apparition and Anti-portkey wards were in place." The man told him in a thick Russian accent. "Could not get through. Fastest method left was dropbears."
"D-dropbears?!" Ron sputtered.
"Brilliant creatures. Russian research wizards got idea from Australians." The man said with bluff good cheer, his accent making his speech difficult to follow. "Anyway, hello, fellow Auror! I am Yuri Ivanovich! Here with many friends, who are also aurors on strike, looking to find gainful employment with Malfoy, yes?"
"I'm not an Auror." Ron finally choked out. He looked over the man's shoulder and noted that there were other fur-coated men and women in berets shoring up the faltering lines of Prince Security and Dumbledore Army members and causing more and more damage to the massed giant inferi.
"Oh, so sorry. Well, we're here anyway, and as good British Aurors we are pitching in and hopefully get good performance reviews for work, yes?" The man declared cheerfully, still speaking in his thick Russian accent.
"But you're not British. You sound Russian!" Ron manged to say.
The man's face crumpled as though deeply in thought... or mortally offended before he replied, "I have a speech impediment. And am very sensitive about it."
Down below a series of sparkling lights suddenly exploded among the beleaguered defenses to reveal women in brightly colored dresses with scandalously short skirts and wearing combat boots. Their wands were absurdly thick things topped with orbs, stars, moons and hearts or various combinations of the same, but they nevertheless began unleashing a variecolored hell of magical energies that bound or knocked down the giants, giving the furry coated men and women time to line up more powerful curses. "Ah!" Yuri cried out happily, "The Magical Taskforce has shown up for the party!" He seemed to catch himself and coughed, "That is to say... more of our fellow Aurors who had been on strike. Yes."
"They don't look like any Aurors I've ever seen before." Ron mumbled in confusion.
Yuri tutted, "Do not be so harsh about their fashion choices. Is very popular where they are from."
"Which is where exactly?" Ron asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.
"Essex." Yuri said with a perfectly straight face.
"... I'm sure."
Further away there was a great deal of shouting as more men and women poured into the battlefield, this time a formation of them on modified brooms that sported stirrups. Those riding them were in what appeared to be heavy leather long coats, similar to the Auror's brown trench coats. The woman in the lead wore a baseball cap on backwards. She also had silvery sunglasses and was screaming, "Yee-haw~!" As she cast curses at the giants at high speed from a wand that had something that looked suspiciously like a pistol grip.
"More British Aurors looking for work?" Ron said dryly.
"They are from York." Yuri replied, continuing to be straight faced.
"... whatever." Ron shook his head, "Look, maybe you can help me get down to the Talos. My wife's down there."
"Happy to help!" Yuri called out cheerfully.
That was the moment that silvery light began to bleed out of the giant Bellatrix's mouth and the wounds in her stomach.
The acid burned like fire on every inch of Harry's exposed skin. The agony of his broken arm seemed to be magnified by the burning horror dominating every inch of his flesh. His eyes screamed in protest as he kept them defiantly open.
And he was rewarded by the sight of his wand, and the Sword. He reached out his good hand, and grasped them both. He felt the full power of magic inside him as he sensed the fear and terror of everyone around him.
Well… I never wanted to be a hero, Harry thought, holding the two magical weapons aloft, but if I have to be… I'll be the kind everyone… Deserves…!
And he screamed the first spell that came to his mind on the wave of emotions he could feel:
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
Bellatrix's wounds shining was a cause of concern for Lord Voldemort. Alfred also looked concerned, more so now that he knew that these guys weren't ogling his mum anymore.
"Er… I don't think that's supposed to happen," Alfred said. He looked over at Voldemort. "Is it?"
"No," Voldemort said flatly. "It isn't…"
"Those foreign wizards weren't supposed to happen either… Ahem, my Lord," said Yaxley, trying hard not to cower at the look Voldemort shot him.
"Those I did not anticipate… But it is irrelevant," Voldemort said with a shake of his head. "Severus! What is that?"
Snape took a deep breath. "It is possible that something has gone wrong with the spell matrix… But allow me to posit a far more likely theory."
"What?" Voldemort asked. Bellatrix bent over, holding her stomach. She let out a blood curdling shriek… And fell back, collapsing back onto a building that had until now survived the giant assault. Out of her stomach burst a shimmering light, sprouting what looked like branches of a great tree. A trunk came down… Then another, and another… A mammalian body formed, and the branches rose atop a noble head… Revealing they were not branches at all, but antlers.
The great stag Patronus, over a hundred feet tall, swept its gaze across the landscape. Voldemort felt a shudder as an immense amount of magical power flowed over his link to Potter. He'd kept it locked down for quite some time due to the feedback from that night in the Ministry, but now it was as though a flood was pounding at the gate to be let inside.
And Voldemort decided it would be a very, very bad thing indeed if it got inside.
"Severus, that theory of yours," Voldemort began slowly, "did it have anything to do with Harry Potter?"
"As a matter of fact, My Lord," said Snape, as he hid the surprisingly high amount of satisfaction and relief he felt, "it did."
Alfred at last spoke. Well, screamed.
"A GIANT DEER JUST EXPLODED FROM MY MUM?! THIS IS BETTER THAN DRUGS!" He cringed at the dark look shot at him by everybody, and he cleared his throat.
"Er, I mean… Is my mum going to be okay?" Asked Alfred urgently. "She did just have a gigantic magic deer… Thing… Go Alien on her."
"I believe she is fine, safe within the neck of the golem," Voldemort said. His eyes widened as unholy screams filled the air, and fireballs raced away in every direction from the gigantic Patronus. "Those though… Severus?"
"I believe those would be Dementors, my Lord," Snape said, peering through Ominiculars. "And they appear to have all burst into flames."
"... Er... Are they supposed to do that?" Alfred asked nervously. Voldemort sighed, feeling a headache coming on.
"No."
How's that for you? Decent, I hope.