Twenty One

The morning dawned dreary and overcast, reflecting the crappy mood she had awaken in. Her eyes and head hurt, which was understandable seeing that she had only managed to grab about three solid hours of sleep…if that much. She had spent much of what was left of the night and morning hours tossing and turning on her bed, wondering how a wonderfully festive day could have turned into such a nightmare.

After cleaning up, Logan had come upstairs to check on them. He had spent a few minutes putting their minds at ease and reassuring them of his love. During their goodbyes, his eyes and body language had told her that he was hard pressed to leave them, especially in their current highly emotionally charged states. But after assurances that they'll be fine and with promises to call him should they need him throughout the night, he had left, albeit reluctantly, admitting that the mother and son duo needed each other. She and Nathan had spent much of the night being brutally honest with each other, at times crying and laughing. They had purged themselves of the past, laying their souls and emotions bare for each other to see. At the end of the "cleanse session" as Nathan had termed it, although they were both emotionally, psychologically and mentally wounded, they had emerged closer to each other, their bond strengthening on a whole new level.

Ororo raised her head to glance at the digital clock. She groaned when she saw that it was only 5:49am. She plopped back onto the pillow and pulled the blanket closer to her body, wishing at that moment that Logan was lying beside her, encasing her in his warmth. She groaned again before burrowing under deeper, willing her mind to venture away from thoughts of Jean. She had no such luck as the events of the evening before continuously played in her mind like a broken record. Jean, as usual, didn't care much about the mayhem she created nor its consequences.

Her main priority now and for the foreseeable future was to protect Nathan, seeing that Jean had claimed she was back in New York for good. It was going to be up to her and Logan to make sure that the support system she had created for Nathan since his birth remain intact in the face of the havoc Jean was bound to cause. Only the Goddess knew what Jean had in store for them and Ororo knew that she and Logan had to be on their toes and on the same page when it came to her.

After she was left alone with her thoughts last night, Ororo had wondered if she was giving her sister the short end of the stick. It was possible that the years Jean had been away had changed her for the better, but Ororo was skeptical, doubtful that Jean had changed her selfish ways. She was simply not willing to risk the heartache and pain that Jean seemed to give out like awards. Experience had thought her that with her sister, one must always be prepared because one must expect the unexpected when dealing with her. If she for one second believed that Jean was sincere in her wishes to get to know Nathan better, then she would be receptive and give her chance. However, knowing her sister as well as she did, that belief or benefit of the doubt, was completely in vain. Jean was and will always be selfish. Her sporadic meaningless visits and telephone calls over the years easily proved that.

What if Nathan wanted to have a relationship with Jean? That prickling voice had continuously taunt her and she had spent time agonizing over it throughout the wee hours of the morning. Ororo was smart enough to know that there were questions that Nathan more than likely had that could only be answered by Jean. Just as she needed closure, she knew Nathan needed it too, maybe more so than her. After much tormenting contemplation, she had arrived at the solemn conclusion that if that was what Nathan wanted, then she most certainly wouldn't stop him. Consequences of keeping Nathan away from Jean, should he want a relationship with her could result and frankly, that was not a risk she was willing to take. Ororo begrudgingly acknowledged that Jean was right on one front, neither she nor Logan could stop her from having a relationship with her son. So, if Nathan wanted to travel that route, she would not interfere.

She was secure enough to know that the relationship she had with Nathan wouldn't change should he want one with his birth mother. However, she was adamant about one thing. She was going to do everything in her power to prevent Jean from hurting him anymore than she already had. Nathan had gone through more than enough heartache in his young life and she didn't need Jean prancing into his life and dangling a reunion under false pretenses.

She sighed heavily as she glanced at the clock again. Only twenty minutes had elapsed. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood, stretching her drained muscles. She treaded wearily to the bathroom, knowing that Jean's return had repercussions for everyone involved…including their father. She had to let Charles know that his beloved daughter had returned and was ready to put down roots. She suddenly dreaded her visit with him later today, knowing he will no doubt wax sentimental about her while doing his usual fare of turning a blind eye to the bad side of his daughter. Why their father couldn't see what was so evident was disturbing and frustrating. Why he refused to acknowledge that truth was beyond her and she had stop wracking her brain about it a long time ago.

As she prepared herself for her day, she mused that there was no use crying over spilled milk. With Jean's return, things were happening and were going to happen whether she liked them or not and her only course of action will be to stand strong and firm and deal with them as they materialize. She had no choice.

Logan arrived around quarter to eight. As Ororo held the door open for him to enter, she took in his ragged appearance and automatically knew that he had a miserable night.

"Morning, darlin'," he grumbled, dropping a kiss to her soft pliant lips.

After returning his kiss, she pressed him about his unkempt appearance. He admitted that his night was lousy because a decent amount of shut eye had evaded him last night. Ororo sympathized with him as she too had found herself in a similar predicament last night.

He followed her into the kitchen, where the scent of coffee hitting his nostrils perked him up some. She nodded to a mug by the coffee machine. "Help yourself, love," she said, as she went about gathering the necessary items for her to make them a decent breakfast.

"Where's Nate?" Logan asked, taking a healthy sip of black coffee.

"I checked on him about ten minutes ago and he was still sleeping," she answered. "I am glad he is getting some rest. I doubt that he managed to get any throughout the night."

"What about ya, baby? How much sleep ya manage ta get?" He asked, watching her through the rising steam from the mug. She didn't look any worse for wear, but her eyes revealed her exhaustion to him. He was positive that she wasn't only physically tired, but emotionally and mentally as well.

"I did not sleep comfortably at all," she answered, briefly glancing up from the ingredients she was mixing for omelets.

"Couldn't sleep a damn wink last night because I kept seeing the kid in pain." He replied, his lips thinning. He took another sip of coffee before resting the mug on the countertop. "I kept thinking maybe I should have done more fer him last night."

Ororo frowned, pushing the bowl with the egg mixture aside and walking over to stand before him. "You did more than enough, Logan. None of us knew that she was going to do what she did."

"Ya know, 'Ro, it didn't really hit me that it isn't about any of us except Nate when I saw him holding on by a thread last night. I felt his pain…I really did. And I must tell ya, it's the scariest thing in the world."

Ororo smiled softly at him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hating to see your child in pain and wishing you could take it away are few of the things that make you a parent."

Logan's arms followed suit around her waist. "Thanks darlin'."

"For?"

"Fer showing me that simply having a hand in making a child isn't what makes ya a parent." He tightened his grip around her.

She stepped out of his hold and looked up at him. Her face was impassive when she uttered, "I also arrived at some sobering conclusions during my insomnia."

Logan lifted a bushy brow and took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah? Care ta share?"

Ororo sighed before moving away from where she was preparing the food. "Nathan and I had a long and brutally honest conversation last night. And I cannot help but think that he still has a lot of questions that can only be answered by my sister."

Logan frowned. He had thought along the same lines as he laid in bed tossing and turning. "I can't even begin ta imagine the frame of mind he's in."

Ororo shook her head sadly. "I am positive that he would probably want to talk to her sooner or later." She took a deep breath then exhaled loudly. "And I do not think that we should stop him if that is what he wants."

The mug froze on its way to Logan's lips. His brows shot up and he placed the mug carefully on the kitchen counter. "I don't trust yer sister. I don't think she's honest about her intentions."

"I agree with you. But I do not want to alienate Nathan by refusing him his opportunity to speak to Jean if that is what he wants. He is older and wiser now and I have faith in his ability to peg Jean for exactly what she is."

"I don't want ta risk it either darlin', but are ya sure? I mean, ya're adamant about protecting him from Jean and her shenanigans."

Ororo grimaced. "I am still going to protect him. But, dearest, if he wants to see her and talk to her, you do realize that we may not….cannot stop him."

Logan ran frustrated hands through his disheveled locks. He growled softly, knowing she was right. He conceded.

"Both of us are going ta have ta be a single unit in order ta deal with any surprise I'm sure Jean is going ta toss our way."

A bright smile spread across her beautiful face and Logan could have sworn that she glowed. "I arrived at the same conclusion too. We are going to have be make sure Nathan knows he is loved and has our full support in whatever his decisions are."

"Ya lead and I'll follow, darlin'."

"I like…" Logan effectively cut off what she was going to say by lowering his mouth onto hers. Ororo quickly became unmindful of everything else around her except for the strength with which he kissed her. She kissed him back with all the love she could assemble at that moment. The kiss did not hold the usual ardor of their other kisses, but his wasn't the time for them to showcase their passion for each other. This was the time for them to reinforce their relationship and commitment to each other.

It took a few moments for them to catch their breaths once the kiss was broken. A slow languid smile spread across Ororo's face and she reached up to caress the planes of Logan's face. "What was that for?"

"Just one way ta show ya that I'm with ya all the way…fer the long haul." The implication of his softly spoken declaration all but sealed their fates. It pretty much solidified their relationship. They stared at each other, both knowing that this was it for them and there was no going back for either of them.

They remained contemplatively silent for long moments, each refusing to turn away, so strong the pull between them.

"I love ya, 'Ro. So damn much."

She beamed. "And I you. Now, with that said, you can help me make breakfast."

He brushed his lips against hers, unable to get enough of her. "Whatever the Goddess wants."

Ororo stood outside the door of her father's room for what seemed like an eternity. This was one visit that she dreaded. Notifying her father that Jean had returned was not the way she wanted to spend a Saturday afternoon. Especially knowing that there would be nothing stopping her father from opining about his miracle child once he learned of the remarkable news. She had tried to prepare herself mentally as much as possible on the drive over, but she had quickly gave up on that notion after realizing that it was highly unlikely that she would be prepared for her father's reaction. She had wanted to put off notifying him for at least another day or two, but Logan had encouraged her to get it over and done with. His reasoning had made sense in that he had told her that the longer she waited, the more she was bound to be emotionally entangled.

Stubbornly, she had took her time going through the motions of her day, wanting to drag the day on as long as possible before having to make the visit. Half-heartedly, she had driven herself to the nursing home, wanting to get the disconcerting chore over with.

She sighed, bracing herself for the emotional upheaval this visit was bound to trigger. She knew she had to dig deep for some strength to deal with this, coupled with the emotional tightrope she was already threading. She adjusted her purse strap as she reached to push the door open. She peeked her head through the opened space and called out, "Dad?"

"Hello Ororo. How are you my dear?" His wheelchair was at the window and he was peering out at the wide array of flora in the gardens just beyond his window, a winsome smile on his wrinkled face.

"I am well. How are you feeling today?" She answered as she walked into the room and closed the door.

Charles turned to his adoptive daughter and smiled. Her smoky voice was always a balm to his soul. "Quite well, my dear."

"Why are you not downstairs enjoying the movie marathon? I believe this one features the movies of Cary Grant. He has always been one of your favorites."

"While at any other time I will enjoy my fellow countryman's movies, I had the overwhelming feeling to simply do some reminiscing."

Ororo's sculpted brows shot up. "Is that so? What are you reminiscing about?"

He didn't answer immediately and to Ororo, his pause was telling.

He sighed and then wheeled himself over to the nightstand, where he poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher. Taking a sip of water, he eyed his daughter. Her eyes reflected her inner turbulence. Ororo had always hid her emotions very well. She was never one to wear them on her sleeve, but her eyes would always reveal some of what was going on with her. Looking at her now, he saw and sensed an emotional tug of war within her.

"I was remembering good times. You, me, Moira….Jean." He said the last name, his eyes never leaving Ororo's frame. Other than the slight eye roll and stiffening of her body, she held onto her composure.

Charles was saddened as always by Ororo's apparent acrimony and lack of interest whenever he would mentioned Jean. He knew there was no love lost between his daughters and this was something he wanted…no needed to remedy before he passed on. He had hoped that after the passage of all these years, that they would have laid the past to rest, but it was apparent that was a pipe dream. Now, with Jean being back, he saw the opportunity to open the lines of communication and hopefully mend the rift between his girls.

But in the meantime, he had to plant the seed in Ororo's mind. "Ororo? Would it be the end of the world if you and Jean were to let bygones be bygones?"

Ororo's brow quirked in interest. Inwardly, she chuckled. This was an interesting turn in their conversations about Jean. Usually, he'll go on and on about his special girl, very seldom mentioning that they mend their broken relationship. "Look, Dad…"

"No, Ororo," he said forcefully, "Life is too short to continue this rift between you and your sister."

She laughed mirthlessly. "You know, that is funny coming from you, Dad. You found no qualms in continuing your crusade against Logan."

Charles lips thinned. "That is different."

"In what way?"

"You and Jean are sisters…family. He is not."

"I beg to differ, Dad. He is Nathan's father, so that more than qualifies him as family." When she saw he was about to offer his rebuttal, she rushed out, "Please, Dad, let us not discuss your vendetta with Logan right now."

Charles sighed, swallowing his retort. "Fine. What would you like to discuss?"

Ororo shifted her weight from one foot to the other. It was time to get down to the reason for her visit. She sank onto the chair by his desk, before peering at him through hooded eyes. "I actually wanted to speak with you about…" she sighed, blinked a few times then started over. "I wanted to speak with you about Jean. She is back in New York."

She sat still, carefully observing Charles after she dropped that bomb. Nothing. No smile, no indication of being surprise on his weathered face. Absolutely nothing. It didn't take long for her to realize that he was privy to that bit of knowledge already.

He simply stared back at her before looking away with a sigh. His next words confirmed her realization. "I know she is back."

She stared at him in muted shock. Then the questions began swirling in her head thereafter. When did he find out? How did he find out? Did he see Jean himself? Then suddenly, the truth dawned on her. Now, his reactions during her last visit made a lot more sense. The huge winning smile on his face, his happy demeanor, his relaxed countenance and him being mysterious throughout the visit. She had wondered if the doctors had placed him on new medication that may have prompted his odd behavior. But she was told that nothing in his medication had changed and she had left the nursing home, having no reason to doubt the doctors. She didn't give his odd behavior another thought…until now. Now she had the answer…Jean's return.

Ororo stood slowly, expelling a gust of air through her lips. "How did you find out?"

"She visited me."

She nodded her head. "I see. When?"

"Last week. The same day you visited."

"Hmm," Ororo shrugged negligently before cocking her head to one side to study her father more closely. "Did you know she came by the house last night? To wish Nathan a happy birthday."

Charles' eyes lit up. "That is great! Was Nathan excited to see his mother?"

Ororo scowled. He had never really acknowledged her role as Nathan's surrogate mother, had always elected to call her his aunt. She had never let it shown, but his refusal to acknowledge her as the boy's mother in every way except biologically, had always pained her. "No," she rasped succinctly. "He was very upset. She ruined what was supposed to be a happy sixteenth birthday for him."

"It is good that she remembered to see him for his birthday."

Ororo sighed, not bothering to hide her exasperation.

"No doubt his father," he uttered the word with distaste, "was there."

Ororo didn't bother to dignify that with a response. "Jean just showed up out of nowhere and expected to be welcome with open arms."

"As she should have been," Charles interjected. "She is part of this family." He sighed, then more forcefully, he said, "You need to bury the hatchet with her, Ororo."

Ororo's brows furrowed into a deep V. "I would gladly bury the hatchet, so to speak, if I believe Jean to be sincere in wanting to make amends."

"She deserves a second chance!" Charles rasped harshly.

"And Logan does not?" She shot back. "I am not worried about myself as much as I am worried about Nathan. He is an impressionable young man, who has been through his share of heartbreak. I would not let Jean continuously add to that heartbreak."

"She is his mother!"

"She may have given birth to him, but she is no mother of his!" Ororo spat the words.

Charles reacted as if she had landed a blow by visibly flinching. His eyes bored into hers, but she held her ground. "Why do you say things like that?" He queried chastisingly. "Do you have any idea how I feel when you say things like that?"

"Do you have any idea how I feel that you have chosen to ignore all of Jean's wrongdoings and place her on a pedestal?" She retorted with candor. She faced him defiantly. She loved him deeply and ached with the knowledge that nothing she said would ever change his mind, but she refused to back down from him now. "Jean has a lot to atone for and she has not given me or Nathan any indication that she is genuine in wanting to make amends."

"How could she when you do not give her a chance?" He said gratingly. "You have taken it upon yourself to judge her unfit to be a mother to her own child. Why? Why have you refused to extend an olive branch to her?"

"She is selfish…always was and always will be. I do not see her changing." She rocked back and forth slightly in an effort to control the anger bubbling inside of her.

"Again, how do you know that?" He countered. "How do you know that she has not change?"

"You are right I do not know that. But you cannot deny that she has always been reckless and had always been about herself." Ororo supplied in a quiet and level voice.

"Ororo, do you not see that Jean was hoodwinked, as you are by Logan Howlett?"

Finally giving vent to her anger that was simmering, Ororo yelled, "You know what, Dad? You need to take your blinders off and face the fact that your daughter was never the perfect princess you portrayed her as. I cannot believe that you are so dense when it comes to her!"

Charles cringed at her harsh words, but his eyes flashed with defiance. Staring at the agitated woman, he decided that since they were being blunt with their words to each other, he would reveal all to her. With some effort, Charles pulled himself up to sit straighter in the wheelchair. With maddening calm, he addressed his adopted daughter. "You should know that I have been in touch with Jean for a very long time." He paused significantly and then added. "I had a private investigator track her down about two years ago. I have sent Jean numerous letters since finding her, encouraging her to come home."

All the breath rushed out of Ororo's body and she stared wordlessly at him. His eyes held a strange gleam in them and his face was smug with satisfaction. All the energy and strength went out of her then and her body sagged. By an act of will, she was able to reach the chair she occupied earlier and sit down before her legs gave out. She was attempting to digest what was quickly unfolding. She thought that she would be the one to bring the surprises this day. How wrong and presumptuous was she? Charles had effectively turned the tables on her, rendering her completely stunned as he dropped one bomb after the other. She sat for a long time, staring at her father through blurred vision as if seeing him for the first time.

She wet her lips and her eyes filled with uncertainty. "You have been a busy man, have you not Dad?"

Charles' eyes met hers full on. "I did what I think was best for both of us. I am not going to be around much longer and I wanted to give you both an opportunity to heal your rift. At the end of the day, my dear, family is all you have."

"My relationship with Jean will take a miracle to repair," Ororo said, still disbelieving of what he had just relayed to her.

"Ororo, please. I need for you and your sister to put the past to rest," he said resignedly, tears pooling in his eyes.

She sighed, standing. She had to get out of there. She had thought that she would not be prepared for his reaction to her news of Jean's return, however, with him turning the tables on her, she now realized that she was not prepared for her reaction. The revelations of the day had only served to throw her emotional instability into even more chaos. She was already tightly strung and she was only getting tighter the more she stayed with him. It was only a matter of time before she succumbed to the emotional tumult.

She bent down and pressed a perfunctory kiss to his forehead. "Get some rest, Dad. I love you."

She turned and hastened out the room, never bothering to wait to hear his response. The sob caught her by surprise and she all but ran through the parking lot to her vehicle once she got outside the building. Sitting in her Jeep, she leaned back on the driver's seat headrest and massaged her temples as she closed her eyes. Then as the events and the words of the afternoon replayed in her mind, the tears began falling one drop at a time, until she had no choice but to surrender to the emotional furor that claimed her.

Chapter 22 Sneak Peek – Nathan shocks Ororo.