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Nine exams in four days! Thank God that's over, only two left for this week! I didn't get much time to write at all last week because of that and the fact that even if I did have the time I just wanted to crash on the sofa! But I should be able to write more again very soon!

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Chapter 21 – Alcohol is the Best Medicine

"I say unto you...welcome!" the crowd cheered at the end of Thorin's speech and the promise of a better life in the future. "Welcome and rise! Welcome, King under the Mountain!"

The master had changed his tune, his grumpy expression faded into one of delight at the sound of gold and he even took his cap of too Thorin, revealing his hideous greasy comb over.

After the welcome the whole company had been ushered inside and at that point Aella was exhausted. She had ridden since the morning and Legolas had been right about a two week recovery. Although the rest of her felt perfectly healthy her leg was still slightly painful and the skin around it was tight, stinging occasionally. The master quickly had food and drink brought into his main hall and musicians made their self at home in the corner, turning the dank room into a light party filled with song and dance. The company shuffled in awkwardly murmuring to themselves and feeling embarrassed about their sudden 'hero' treatment. They stared at the table which was now brimming with food and at the people who were also filtering inside to join the party. Bofur however, broke the silence and pushed through the company grinning madly.

"Free drink! Yes, this is why I signed that contract!"

He immediately ran towards the closet jug of ale and chugged it down. Some of the other dwarves starting to join him in the merrymaking. Aella found herself stood alone, with people bustling around her starting to sing along with the music and dance. She needed to sit down, to sleep preferably forever. She couldn't stop thinking about Thranduil and the guilty feeling never left her. She wanted to be alone, to shut everyone out and to cry.

She pushed herself through the crowd ignoring the company and their smiles as they all danced, drunk and enjoyed the party. Aella walked up to the nearest servant that had been woken to serve drinks and generally work and patted him to get his attention.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if there was anywhere for me to go and sleep? I'm a part of the dwarf company although as you can see I'm not a dwarf." She put on a smile for the boy who placed his wine jug on a table and took her hand.

"Absolutely my lady, I saw you reunite with Thorin and the other dwarves. Now let me find you a room."

"Thank you. And it's just Aella, I'm not a lady." She smiled, feeling slightly odd with his hand on the small of her back but decided to brush it off and focus on pretending to be happy and not break down in front of the young lad.

He walked her through the party and to the other side of the great hall. Aella hadn't seen the jealous look Thorin was giving her and continued to make small talk with the servant. In fact Thorin almost walked over to them and peel the boy off of her and look after her himself but he ended up just leaving it when he saw her yawn.

"Your room, Miss Aella." He smiled at her again and pushed open a wooden door holding it open for her. She walked in and looked around the room for a moment before turning back around to the servant who was gleaming at her.

"Thank you again."

"It's my pleasure, I'll leave you to it then." He smiled and shut the door behind him. Aella waited until his footsteps had completely disappeared down the hall and all she could hear was the muffled sound of a party coming from the hall.

She walked to the bed and studied it. The room was not grand, not like the elven rooms she had been in but it was cosy and the bed had plenty of soft overlapping furs on it as well as squishy mattress. She stripped herself of her saddle and her leather armor so that she was only wearing her tunic, socks and undergarments. It felt good, like she was removing restrictions and becoming free, the tunic was loose and comfortable without the leather corset-like chest plate squeezing her.

Aella pushed back the covers and crashed into the bed, curling up into the furs and the pillows until she was a tiny ball surrounded by materials like a bird nest. Suddenly a shiver traveled up her leg and she could feel it, his hands on her body. She could hear it, his dirty words in her ear. And she could feel it, the helplessness.

Aella jumped and swiped at her legs, throwing the covers off around her as she scrambled back in fright screaming and crying out. She calmed down slightly when she saw that it was only a small spider crawling up her leg, she batted it away sighing. Although she was trembling from the flashback and her tears were falling rapidly spotting the mattress around her. She brought her knees to her chest and ducked her head into them, muffling her sobs and wails as she cradled her shaking body.

Thorin was trying his best to enjoy the party like the rest of the company but he couldn't. Aella had left and he knew there was something off about her. Although he certainly was pleased to know she was safe and back with them, he wanted nothing more than to see her smiling and enjoying the celebration. He tried not to think much of it and knew that she was just tired as she had probably been travelling hard for the last day and with a healing wound.

That was another thing, how had her wound healed so well? She had no medical supplies with her when they left, maybe it was just a skin-changer thing, it's not like she could have found any help. He finished the ale he was on and put it back on the table, more harshly than he'd hoped from his deep brooding. He had to refuse an offer to join a dance saying that he just wanted a sit down for the time being.

He sat on a bench that was connected to the large dining table and watched, smiling as he saw Fili trip his brother up. But that smile faded slightly when he overheard a conversation between a couple of the other company members.

"Where's Aella?" Bilbo asked, catching the attention of Ori, Dori, Bofur and Balin.

"I'm not sure lad, I think I saw her go off with one of the servant boys." Balin said calmly not thinking much of it. But his words sparked jealousy inside of Thorin, what if she… no she wouldn't do that. She said that she loved him she wouldn't just go off with another man.

"She did look pretty tired. Poor lass, she's been through a lot and I think the reunion completely drained her. She was so overwhelmingly happy. I'm sure she's fine though probably just gone for a quiet sit down." Dori said smiling softly to Bilbo whose own concern was showing a bit.

"The party would be better with her here though. She always brightens an atmosphere." Ori said looking around and it was true. Although the party was fun and loud the company didn't really seem to be enjoying themselves as much as they normally would with the amount of ale they had consumed.

"Yeah right. The lass certainly knows how to have a good time! I'll go and get her, I'm sure she won't want to miss out on all of this." A slurred Bofur says and Thorin was about to walk over and say that he would and that everything was alright but Bilbo had beat him to it. Probably for the best as Bilbo was certainly the least drunk out of them all, but Thorin once again felt a pang of jealousy surge through him.

"Oh no it's quite alright I will. I was just wondering if you knew where she was." The hobbit smiled and then shuffled away in the general direction that Bofur's swaying arm pointed.

Bilbo walked down the hall and noticed the silence that it carried, there was no one around and he could still hear the party but it was quiet in the corridor; like he shouldn't be there. He had walked past a couple of doors, knocked and when he got no reply he moved on. That's when he heard sobs. He walked straight to the door that the crys were coming from and knocked softly, placing his ear to the wood to listen more closely.

"Hello? Is everything alright in there?" He asked concerned and with listening to the crying more closely he could tell it was Aella and he suddenly felt awful "Aella? Aella it's me Bilbo. Are you alright? Can I come in?"

Bilbo heard a strangled yes through the sobs and he quickly opened the door shutting it behind him before giving his eyes a chance to look at the room. When he did turn back around though his mouth fell open slightly in shock and he immedietly rushed over to the side of the bed.

Aella's eyes were bloodshot from crying and the tears still ran down her cheeks leaving salty trails behind them. She was trembling and had her knees pulled as tightly as she could to her chest with her arm looped around them. She looked away from Bilbo ashamed, she didn't want anyone seeing her like this, so broken. He sat awkwardly beside her and tried to look at her but she kept her eyes averted.

"Aella, what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked softly, trying his best not to blurt his questions out frantically as that would probably make her feel worse.

"I'm fine Bilbo." She said quietly. She didn't want anyone to know the real reason she just wanted to be left alone to cry. But she knew that none of it was Bilbo's fault and she liked the hobbit and his company she just didn't want to have talk about it no matter how much she trusted Bilbo.

"Do you honestly expect me to belive that." He quirked an eyebrow and kept his tone soft and comforting. "Please Aella, you can tell me. Is it your leg?"

"No it's not my leg."

"Is it this place?"

"No."

"Is it Thorin? Has he done something wrong? Have any of us done anything wrong? Has someone said something mean to you?"

"No, none of you have done anything. You've only been kind to me."

Bilbo sat quietly for a moment, thinking of more possibilities and running her answers through his head. If it was none of those things what could it be? Her crying and shaking had calmed but she still occasionally tremored and the odd tear hit the matress.

"Is it your family?" He asked warily, knowing it was a sensitive subject and not wanting to upset her anymore "Is it Branko, or Lexus?"

"You know, for once it's not. You're my new family now, and I don't miss them as much anymore. It still hurts but I find myself remembering good memories of Branko and the stories I was told of Lexus." She said quietly, a slight smile briefly creeping onto her lips as fond memories ran through her head but they were soon tainted by the reason she was crying and the thought of her family being disappointed in her.

"Aella please, I'm only trying to help. Just tell me, I swear I won't tell anyone you have my word. It's better to talk about things instead of keeping them bottled up, you can trust me." He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiled at her although she didn't really look back.

"I know I can trust you, but I can't. I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That you'll hate me. That you'll see me as a true monster."

"Aella, whatever it is, you could never be a monster to me no matter how bad. You've always been kind to me and you've saved all of our lives on many occasions, like when we were escaping the elves. You risked your own life to protect Kili and to get us to safety. How could you be a monster? It's alright you can tell me." Aella sighed and looked down at her knees which were still tucked to her chest.

"Okay, I'll tell you." Aella paused for a moment and swallowed, breathing out as Bilbo lightly squeezed her shoulder to comfort her.

"Thranduil…he … he raped me."

When she heard nothing, no shocked gasp or anything from the hobbit she continued, knowing that it was alright. And Bilbo had been right, it felt better to voice it.

"When we were originally captured Thranduil wanted to speak to me. He offered me a deal: I spend a week with him at night and he would let us go. The first night I was dragged away to his chambers, but I… attacked him before anything happened. Then the next morning you came and rescued us. I didn't think anything of it because I thought we had escaped, we were out of there."

Bilbo stayed sat in silence, listening to everything as she told the horrible story. Thoughts flashed through his mind and his sorrow and guilt for her was on another level. She never looked him in the eye, or even his way but kept talking to her knees and to the bed, but he could hear the raw emotion in her tone.

"However, when you left me, Tauriel, the elf that Kili had a thing for, saved me. She bought me back to the kingdom and Legolas and her healed me. They let me sleep in one of their rooms as I rested from the initial healing process. The next morning Legolas left saying that he had to go and find Tauriel who had gone out. I tried to escape out of the window knowing that you would be leaving for the mountain soon and I had to get there as fast as I could. But Thranduil knocked me out and the next thing I knew I was tied to a bed... naked. He gave me a drink of sorts, it disabled my transformation power and completely immobilized me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream or speak but my senses still worked. I could feel everything he was doing to me, I could hear the dirty words he was saying to me, I could see it and I could taste it when he forced my mouth open and… It was horrible, all I could think of was how much you would hate me, how I was a disappointment and how Thorin would never be able to love me again and how he might never even want to see me again. I've betrayed you all, I'm so sorry, I understand if you hate me, I understand if…"

But her words were cut off by another tidal wave of tears and she burrowed her face into her knees. Instantly Bilbo wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest tightly, rubbing her back as she sobbed into him.

"Shh, Shh. It's okay. It's okay Aella. We would never hate you, I promise. It wasn't your fault, none of it was your fault. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, I truly am sorry. If we'd known we would never have left you. You're safe now though, you never have to see him again. It'll be alright, everything's going to be alright." He whispered to her, throwing other reassurances to her every now and then.

"But it was my fault. I agreed to it, I didn't try to fight back." She said, her intense crying starting to calm down again but she kept close to Bilbo.

"That could never be your fault. He forced you to drink something, you didn't even have the choice to fight back. And what you did, was immensely brave. You once again put the lives of the company before your own and there is no wrong in that believe me."

She pulled away slightly and looked up at him through her blurry vision. He gave her a small smile, barely visible but it was enough to reassure her that his words were true and not just put on to shut her up.

"Thank you so much Bilbo. I'm sorry if you don't like me anymore I completely understand –"

"Aella, people will like you no less for what has happened to you. In fact I'm pretty sure they will like and respect you more when they learn about the sacrifice you made for them and the quest. We should tell Thorin –"

"No! I mean, no please Bilbo, don't tell Thorin. Don't tell anyone, I don't want them to know, they don't need to know. Please Bilbo, you promised not to tell anyone, please don't tell them, especially Thorin." She said frantically, and her distress was clear.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone if that's what you want. It's not for me to tell anyway. But I think you should in your own time." She nodded at him slowly "Now, the reason I came looking for you is that the company misses you. They say it's not the same without you, and truthfully it isn't." He smiled at her and she paused taking in his words slowly.

"But I'm a wreck. I don't want anyone to see me like this." She said and averted her eyes, pulling more away from the hug and instantly feeling self-conscious again.

"Aella, I've never been a drinker myself but I've heard that alcohol is the best medicine. It might take your mind off things. And a good laugh can never hurt, you're safe again remember that." He smiled at her again and could see her once again mulling over his words in her head. "I don't want to force you to join us, but it would be nice. I should probably get back anyway and leave you to decide. I hope you're alright now, and if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, I'll always be around. I've been told I'm a good listener." He smiled and got up from where he had sat on the bed. He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Thank you, again Bilbo. I'll see you in a minute for that drink." She said with a slight smile, he returned it and shut the door behind him leaving her in silence.

Aella sat for a minute, staring at the wall. Reenacting the conversation and Bilbo's words and reaction to her confession. She probably over analyzed everything and so she leant back on the bed for a bit, making sure that joining the party was a good idea. Not going down was suspicious and she was sure that the dwarves would question her in the morning if she didn't. But going down stairs was risky as well, she might not be able to cover up her feelings and so they might question her now. She eventually decided that getting drunk would be a good idea and might help her forget.

"Fuck it."

She stood from the bed and walked across the floor to her clothes which were in a heap. She put her trousers back on but left her chest armor/corset off to leave her emerald green tunic hanging loosely around her. But she noticed that it seemed to have shrunk a bit, probably from the water and I think Tauriel had her clothes washed when she was recovering. It was not slightly figure hugging but it was not tight and still hung past her belt.

She walked into the bathroom and checked her face in the mirror. Tears had streaked down her face and her eyes were still bloodshot. Her golden hair was slightly messy and unruly as well. She grabbed her comb from her saddle and brushed it through her hair. It was clean and glowing, because she was a shape shifter she didn't have to wash her hair as often because she had more natural oils to keep it clean. Once satisfied when it was untangled she pulled the front section back but a few rebellious flicks curled out. She then washed her face to get rid of the salty paths and her green eyes soon returned to normal. She smiled to herself in the mirror, despite the feelings inside.

You can do this. It's no biggie. You're just gonna go down there and enjoy yourself. It wasn't your fault, you have nothing to be afraid of. Let's have a good time… and get drunk I haven't done that in a while.

She laughed at the memories of the stories she had been told of her previous drunken antics, and opened the door. She gave one last brief look at the room and closed the door behind her. Already the sound of the party was more prominent, the band was still playing and she realized that it hadn't actually been very long since the servant took her to the room, probably about three quarters of an hour ago. She walked down the hall, breathing slowly to herself to almost psych herself up. When she turned around a corner in the corridor she could now see the party and the site of Bofur chugging down a pint of ale bought a smile to her face. Although it looked like the rest of the company was having a hard time getting into the swing of things. Taking one last deep breath she strolled down the hall with a plastered smile on her face which soon turned into a real one.

"Aella! EYYYY! We were starting to worry about you lass!" Bofur said, stumbling over to her and clapping a smile on her shoulder whilst waggling his eyebrows. He still had his worn hat on and the twinkle in his eyes. The rest of the company looked her way and smiles appeared on their faces and they started walking over to her to join in with clapping her shoulder.

"Hey where'd you go anyway?" Kili said cheerfully and she could tell that he was maybe a bit tipsy already as him and Fili were leaning on each other.

"Oh I just went for a nap. But I'm feeling much more awake now." She said with a grin and risked a glance at Bilbo who smiled at her. Thorin saw the slight communication and narrowed his eyes a bit, the jealousy returning.

"Well it's good to have you back. This party would've been dull without you." Dwalin said smiling, the situation was a bit like when she returned at Beorn's house and her and Thorin confessed their love for each other.

"Come on, let's get smashed." She laughed and the others cheered at her suggestion.

Fili practically shoved a tankard into her hand and once every company member had them they all raised them in the middle, cheering.

"To Erebor!"

They chugged down their drinks, and although Aella had not been at Bag End she had been told of how the dwarves had behaved and that this was one of those behaviors. It probably bought back fond memories for them and maybe even Bilbo at the time on the quest before any of their lives had been threatened almost every day.

After the first one, they drank about five more and she could see some of the dwarves start to sway, particularly Bilbo who had decided to opt out of having anymore. Aella's spirits had instantly been risen from the drink and when Kili grabbed her by the arm she didn't protest or try to hide her smile instead she giggled and swung around the room, being passed from one company member to the other laughing at each one of them. Eventually she got to Thorin and she laughed slightly but it gfaded into a grin at his smile.

"I've never seen you glow so brightly my love." He said as they danced together, gallivanting around the room. "And I've never seen you drunk."

"I am not drunk!" She said playfully, all her bad memories had faded and all she could think of was the here and now, she was drunk or at least getting there "If I was drunk you would be able to tell."

"And how would I be able to tell if I've never seen you drunk before?" He replied his voice was low and husky, slightly flirtatious.

"Well the last time I was drunk I took off my shirt and stood on the table shouting "I'm Queen of the wine!" She replied an edge of flirtatious to hers as well.

"Well I might just have to get you drunk as that is a sight I want to see." He winked and twirled her around as the song was reaching its climax. He caught her on the last beat as she hung in his arms, one arm and leg in the air grinning madly.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. "I can't believe I got to have you."

"You're the only one who has," Aella smiled, "And I wouldn't have had it any other way."

She leaned up and their lips met again. It wasn't that long, and it certainly wasn't the kind of kiss that people fantasize about, but it was wonderful in its own way. And all Aella could remember about the moment is that when their lips touched, she knew that despite her drunken state the memory would last forever.

The memory of despite being beaten up and used and tortured, there was someone that loved her, someone that would care for her no matter what and that someone was Thorin.

In response to the reviews:

Guest: Aha, yes let's hope so. Thank you so much for your support on this story it means a lot to me! Thank you so much and I hope this end line didn't disappoint either!

Middle earth muskateers: Thank you, and I will definitely not kill Thorin! I'm in denial of them dying anyway because they should be happy!

Bit of a filler but I thought it was better for someone to find out now, so she knows she has someone to talk to. It's also just quite nice to write a chapter like this because to be honest at the moment I have no idea what I'm going to do with Smaug.

As always, let me know what you thought of this chapter! And I've got a question for you: What was your favorite bit in the Hobbit movies! So leave a review because they really help and I'd love to know what you think!

Thank you for reading and sticking with this!

xx