Aww thanks for all your kind reviews, you gotta get your happy Jaspenor where you can these days!
And now for the M rated stuff...
As soon as he touches her, as soon as he kisses her it's like she's on fire. But she needs something more from him than just his touch, she needs to know she means something to him.
She puts a hand on his chest and holds him off her for a moment, and he looks back at her startled, then annoyed.
"You have no idea what it was like these past 24 hours. All this time I thought you were dead and you didn't even make one phone call," she says accusingly, and its anger in her voice – at him but also at herself because this is still so new to her that she resents the way she needs him, the way she misses him when he's gone.
"It wasn't possible," he tells her, his eyebrows knitting together. "If I could have called I would have but I couldn't. But I'm back now," he tells, her leaning down into her. He kisses her cheek just under her eye, and his stubble rubs against her eyelashes and he almost succeeds in making her shut up.
But not quite. She rolls away from him and sits up the bed, putting some space between them so she can think straight.
"If we're going to do this, I want you to say something about us. Something that's real," she tells him, because she can't do this if he's just all about using her like he was before. Hurting her.
"You said you're doing this to save the world," she tells him, raising her eyebrows and folding her arms. "Is that what this is to you then? Just about us doing this because that's what the man in the high castle said we had to," she demands.
He looks back at her frustrated, and runs a hand through his hair. "Eleanor, no," he tells her, forcefully.
"That's not what this is. Even if he had never said anything I would still want you. I would still care about you," he tells her, frowning.
He leans forward and takes her hand in his and shifts closer to look at her, "if you want to know something that's real then you should know that all I've thought about today is that I wanted you to get back here safe. That's the god damn truth," he adds tensely.
"Even when we were at sea and everyone else was talking about patrols, I was thinking about you," and even as he's saying the words, his fingers are moving, tracing little circles in her palm, and when he's looking into her eyes she loses all sense of time and place.
That's all it takes because her face lights up and a second later she's crawling over to him and into his arms and tugging at his shirt, while he's impatiently pulling down the zip of her dress. She pushes his shirt off his shoulders and then raises her arms so her can lift her dress of her.
And then they fall backwards onto her bed, and it turns hot and heavy and he's kissing her and his hands are under her bra to unhook it and sliding her knickers off her.
She's missed this more than she would ever admit. And while she's had enough practice to be good at this, he's an expert and its not long after he puts his mouth on her, and then his fingers that she's shuddering under his touch.
She has her eyes closed and her breath is coming thick and fast as she tries to recover from what he's been doing to her when she feels him slide up her body and then kissing first one eyelid then another. She wrinkles her eyes at his touch and then opens her eyes to find him lying beside her, his head resting on a pillow.
He sits up, frowning. "Why the hell does the pillow smell of cologne. Cologne that's not mine?" he demands. And she can see the barely supressed anger starting to boil.
Eleanor jumps to her own defence. "That was from before I got back. My bloody brother decided to lend the room to one of his minions. And now it is infested with the stink of cheap cologne," she adds, crossly, scowling back down at the offending pillow.
"Believe me it annoys me as much as you. I'll wash the sheets tomorrow," she decides.
"The only reason I didn't wash it today was because you going missing upset everything around here," she adds, and there's more than a hint of accusation in her voice.
More than anything it upset her to the point that even washing the sheets seemed too much to take on, but she's not willing to spell out she's that pathetic.
Jasper's examining her face closely, and then seems to accept what she saying.
He flips over, effectively pinning her down, and holding her arms by her sides.
"You're mine Princess. I own you," he announces possessively. "And if anyone here tries anything out with you they'll be dealing with my fist in their face," he adds menacingly.
Having him stare her down like this, brooding and aggressive is putting her in some kind of daze, but she recovers herself enough to reply.
"I'm sure that won't be necessary."
He leans in closer to her. "I want you baby, I have to have you," he whispers huskily into her ear.
She wants him just as bad and she wraps her arms and then her legs around him.
It's all the signal he needs and she can feel him burn as he slides inside her. She wriggles her hips underneath him to try and accommodate his size because he's stretching her. When he's in deep she lets out the breath of air she's been holding and then he starts to move.
He pushes into her, and she arches her back to meet him. He slides out and just as her body starts to ache for him he slams back into her, steadying her hip with one hand. She moans into his lips as his lips press against hers as he rocks into her again.
His hands roams over her body, over the peak of her nipple, caressing it as he goes and then his hand moves down her stomach and to her thigh.
He pulls himself away from her, up higher. One of her arms rests against his upper arm but its too broad for her hand to fit right around. The other slide lower down his body to rest against his lower back where she can feel his muscles flex with every thrust as she's underneath him.
He shifts her one of her legs so its higher up his back, allowing him to penetrate her deeper and adjust his rhythm, thrusting into her harder and faster and with every thrust her body arches under his and breathless moans start falling from her lips.
She closes her eyes and then opens them again, and his eyes are looking down into hers, staring into her, dark and possessive. She's on the brink of ecstacy, breathless and flushed and he knows it.
He pulls back then sinks down into her again with a sharp thrust, then repeats it again and again and she's already gone, but still he keeps going.
And then eventually she feels the shudder run through his body and the guttural sound from the back of his throat and then she feels his weight on top of her, heavy and slick with sweat as he falls into her.
A moment later he rolls himself off her and pulls her into him, trapping her against his chest in his strong arms.
There is no where in the world that she feels as safe.
And she wonders and hopes as she runs a finger over his chest as her breathing stills, if one day everything is going to be better because of this thing they've done.