Unapologize

By: PricklySare

A/N: General disclaimers still apply. Meg, as always... you're awesome.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Sare

Chapter Twenty: Steph Goes to the Beach

Ranger had been gone a week, and it was proving to be the longest week of my life. I'd been dodging calls from my mother, Morelli, and had finally unplugged my house phone. It wasn't like the voice mail was doing any good. It had been full since the morning after my showdown with Val. After the fourth time I cleared it, I gave up. You would think they'd get the hint. I didn't know how much clearer I could be. Some people just didn't learn.

Since I'd recently changed my cell phone number I didn't have to worry about gossip mongers blowing up the voice mail on it. Very few people had the number to the secure phone that Rangeman provided me, and I had no desire to change that. It made life a lot easier not having to worry about being harassed every time the phone rang. I'd just gotten back to the office from picking up the files from Connie, and was settling in behind my desk when my phone rang.

"Yo," I answered. In the last year I'd gotten into the bad habit of single word phone calls. My family hated it, Connie and Lula thought it was the funniest thing ever, and Ranger would just look at me and smile. I lived to amuse that man.

"Hey, Baby Granddaughter. How you holdin' up?" My Grandma Mazur asked. I hadn't talked to her since I'd essentially blown off my biological family for the family I chose for myself. To be honest, I hadn't really been sure how my decision was going to affect my relationship with her.

"Actually, I'm doing pretty well," I told her; and I wasn't even lying. I really was doing well. For the first time in my life I truly had a support system. I was doing well in my job, I was happy, and I no longer worried about what the rest of the world thought. True, I didn't have much of a personal life to speak of, unless you counted spending endless hours hanging out with some of the hottest men to ever walk the streets of Trenton, as having a personal life. Wait, I guess I did have a personal life. Who'd have thought?

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you," she said. I felt a flash of love wash through me. Grandma might be unconventional, but I loved her dearly.

"Thank you, Grandma. I'm proud of me too," I told her.

"So, how's that bounty hunter with the package treatin' you?" This was it. The moment when I got to acknowledge that Ranger wasn't here. That I was in fact alone.

"Actually, Grandma, he's not in town at the moment. He had to leave to take care of some business out of state," I told her. It wasn't a lie. He was out of state; or at least I assumed he was. My guess was he was completely out of the country, but since I didn't know anything I figured why speculate. It wouldn't make a difference.

"That's too bad. Least you've got all that eye candy to keep you occupied," she cackled gleefully at that.

"That I do," I replied, laughing with her. I glanced around the room and noticed Lester walking toward me. Speak of the devil. Think of a hot man and he appears. I decided I needed to move this call along. I love my grandmother, I do, but I still wasn't up to spending a lot of time on the phone with her. Gossip really just wasn't my thing, recently. "So, what's up?" I asked her.

"Well, I figured we should talk," she said.

"What about?" I asked her. I figured it had to do with what everyone else wanted to talk to me about; and those who didn't want to talk to me just stared at me whenever they saw me. I knew what they were thinking; I'd been on the receiving end of their disparaging remarks too many times throughout my life to not know. It was amazingly freeing, I'd found, to not give a shit what they thought. To actually not be worried about how what they were saying was going to affect my mother.

"Your sister's been running her mouth again," my grandma said. "She ran straight to your mother after the scene at the club." She cackled again before asking, "Did you really have hot, sweaty sex with the big Cuban?" I decided it would be best to not answer that. Enough people already knew about my recent sex life. I didn't need, or want, to discuss it with my sex crazed grandma.

"I can't say I'm surprised that she went to Helen. She was after all sent by her to 'set me straight'," I told her.

"So, you're really doing it then?" she asked. I didn't even pretend to be confused. There was no reason to play dumb; after all, I'd just called my 'mother' by her given name. I think that said it all, and for once I wasn't ashamed of whom I was, or the choices I'd made.

"Yeah, Grandma. I really am," I said. "You know that whenever I'm with my mother, I feel as though I have to spend the whole time avoiding land mines. It shouldn't be that way. She should love me and support me. I shouldn't have had to go through my life being told I wasn't good enough."

"I know Steph. I don't understand what's going on in that head of hers," Grandma let out a sigh and I felt bad for her.

"I do, Grandma. Sadly, I do know." I shook my head even though she couldn't see me. "She is convinced I should be 'Burg. Convinced I should get married to Joe, turn into his own personal baby making factory, and spend my time in the kitchen. Hell, You know the only thing I've ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess; and several small fires. Everyone knows that. I don't foresee that particular talent of mine changing anytime in the near future."

"Sometimes I wonder what happened to the girl I raised. I taught her that a mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. I guess I must have failed somewhere along the line."

It was my turn to sigh. "You didn't fail, Grandma," I told her. "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they are not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. I believe that, even if she doesn't."

She was quiet for a moment before she asked, "When did you get so smart?"I couldn't help but laugh.

"Just a few days ago, actually," I said. "I've done some soul searching this past week, and I've come to a conclusion. I've been so ashamed of the mistakes I've made that I didn't realize that maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives?"

"If that's the truth, then I'm proud of every mistake you've made, and I think I need to go out and make some more myself." A smile spread across my face even as I tried not to think about what mistakes she might want to make. Sheesh. By this point Lester had arrived at my desk and was sprawled in the spare chair, twirling a pen through his fingers. My eyes latched onto the movement and I felt hypnotized, watching it go across his fingers and back again. Across and back, across and back.

"...already sent the invitations out. As of right now, you're getting married next month," the words filtered through my head snapping me from my trance.

"Say, what?" I asked. I must have missed something, because what I thought I heard couldn't have been right.

"Distracted by the eye candy?" She asked.

"Something like that," I replied, feeling a full body twitch coming on. "Now, what was that about getting married next month?"

"I said, that your mother and Joe have decided to go on with your wedding plans. They've already mailed out the invitations. As of right now, you're getting married next month."

My eyes flew up to Lester's and locked. He lifted an eyebrow at me in question while I tried to take a deep breath. I was going to kill someone. "Like Hell I'm getting married next month," I said my voice a little louder than I intended. Lester tensed in front of me. "They cannot, and will not plan my life for me. I will not be bullied or railroaded into marrying anyone, let alone a man who wouldn't know love if it punched him in the face."

Anger flashed through my body and I watch as Lester stood up, closing the distance between us. He turned me so my back was to his front and began rubbing my shoulders, trying to help me relax. I was pretty sure the only thing that would help me relax would be to throttle Helen and Morelli.

"I know. I told them that, but no one listens to me. This whole house is going to the looney bin," she said. "I'm thinking I should find a new place to live. Don't want the craziness to rub off on me. It might be contagious." Everyone always thought that my Grandmother was off her rocker, but I was beginning to realize that Helen and Valerie were in fact the only crazy people in the family.

"I think you might be right," I said.

"So what are you going to do about this wedding mess?"

"Honestly, I haven't a clue. I'm not marrying him. Hell, I want nothing to do with him, or Helen." I let out a frustrated noise that sounded remarkably like a growl and said, "Crap. I don't have time for this right now. I'll deal with them later."

"You do what you need to do, Steph. I'm on your side. No matter what." I was really glad to hear that, because I had a feeling that things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

"Thanks, Grandma," I said. "I appreciate you calling and letting me know," I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face, trying to concentrate on Lester's hands on my shoulders. "I'll figure something out, but right now I've got to get going."

"Take care of yourself, baby girl," she said. "I'm proud of you."

"You too, Grandma," I said. Right before I hung up I said, "Hey, Grandma, I love you."

"Love you too, Stephanie."

Hanging up the phone I put my face in my hands and contemplated murder.

"You okay, Beautiful?" Lester asked me. His deep voice was laced with concern and I let out a sigh.

"Right now? No. Will I be later? Yeah, I will be." I leaned back into his hands and relaxed my shoulders, letting Lester's hands work out the knots in my muscles. "Hey, Les?"

"Yeah, Beautiful."

"My world if you never quit doing that," I said.

"Your world, huh?" Les asked.

"Yeah, it's not much, but it's all I have to offer right now," I laughed.

"Your world is more than enough, Beautiful. More than enough." We were silent for a while, and I'm not sure how much time passed before he asked, "So, what exactly was that all about?"

"Oh, that," I said. "That was just my 'mother' and Joe planning my life. Apparently we're getting married next month. The invitations have already been sent out." I shook my head and the laugh that escaped my lips was bitter. "All I have to do is show up. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah, great," Lester replied. "Do I get to be in the wedding?" he asked me.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Of course. You're my maid of honor."

He grinned at me, "Do I get to wear a dress?"

"Well, that's a silly question," I said. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Excellent," he replied with fake enthusiasm.

"You don't have a problem with puce taffeta, do you?"

"Depends, will it make my ass look fat?"

"Most definitely," I told him.

"Good enough for me."

I started giggling. I couldn't help it. "You know what, Les," I said. "I don't know what I'd do without you. You make my day brighter."

He was silent so I looked over my shoulder at him. I couldn't quite place the look on his face, but then it was suddenly gone and he said, "You're not so bad yourself."

I glanced at the clock on the computer. It was still early in the day, and I suddenly wanted to go spend some time at the beach. I needed to get away from Trenton, and work for a little while. Maybe some surf, sun, and sand, not to mention all the gloriously delicious fattening foods available on the boardwalk, would give me the boost I needed to deal with this latest installment of the Stephanie Plum Show.

"Want to hit the beach?" I asked Lester.

He quit rubbing my shoulders and went back to his earlier seat. "I'd love to, but unfortunately, I've got a surveillance shift starting in fifteen minutes. I actually need to head out."

"Well, damn. That sucks," I said. Standing up I stretched and started gathering my stuff. Since I wasn't going to be working I stuffed my utility belt, defense spray, gun, and stun gun into my bag. No reason to be wearing all the gear when I was trying to relax. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Why don't you come by my apartment tonight? We'll order pizza and do a movie or two," he said.

"Sure," I said. "Sounds good. I'll bring the beer."

He placed a kiss on my head and said, "Be safe. I'll see you at six," before he headed off to get suited up for his shift.

Traffic was light as I headed toward a small beach near the New Jersey border. I didn't feel like dealing with Point Pleasant today, and I knew I could get everything I wanted at Shifting Sands just as easily, with fewer people. I'd found the beach not too long ago while searching for a skip. He'd headed to the small town of Lively, to try and hideout. Like so many others, he'd underestimated me. Now, he was back in lock up, and I was heading to the beach.

I pulled into the mostly empty parking lot and slipped out of my midnight blue, Toyota Matrix, locking it with the remote as I headed toward the beckoning ocean. The sand was smooth under my feet and I dug my toes deep into it, relishing the texture against my skin. I dropped my sandals beside a driftwood log, and headed toward the crashing waves. It was overcast outside, and the water was a little too cold still for swimming, but in a few months the coolness of the water would offset the heat of the day.

While I stood there with my feet in the water, I wondered where Ranger was, and if he was being safe. Even though I knew he hadn't left to avoid me, I felt a little sad that he'd left when so much was still up in the air. The guys were right, something had changed that night. I still wasn't sure what, and I wasn't even sure if Ranger realized that things had changed. For all I knew, he was visiting his own personal land of denial. Even Batman would need to practice avoidance occasionally. He was far too controlled with his emotions to not lock them away to deal with later.

Seagulls were flying overhead, their calls echoing across the empty beach. They sounded sad, like they were calling out in loneliness, even though they were surrounded by others. I knew how they felt. For years, I'd been completely alone, even while I was surrounded by people who claimed to love me. That thought brought me back to my current problem. My wedding. Fuck!

"What the hell were they thinking?" I asked the empty beach. "Are they confused as to what century we live in?" I noticed that my feet were turning blue and headed toward the log where I'd left my sandals. I decided that this particular train of thought was going to require saturated fats and sugars.

"There is no way in Hell I'm going to marry that, that, ...Argh!" I was so pissed off I couldn't even think of a word vile enough to call Joseph Anthony Morelli. Man of the wandering eye, hand, and penis. I may never have actually caught him cheating, but I was pretty sure he had. Several times. In all honesty, he wasn't a horrible person, and I didn't even hate him. Usually. I just knew that we were meant for things other than each other. For instance, I knew I was meant for Ranger. He just hadn't admitted to himself that we already had a relationship, and had had one for a long time. Eventually he'd come around. If the guys were right, he may have already come around.

I bought a corn dog, funnel cake and a cotton candy and sat down at a picnic table on the boardwalk. It was getting late and I knew I needed to be heading back so that I could pick up the beer and make it to Lester's Rangeman apartment by six. I still hadn't figured out exactly what I was going to do about my upcoming nuptials, that is, other than not being there; but I figured I had a little time. I had a feeling that another knockdown, drag out; come to Jesus fight was in my future. Lucky me.

Depositing my trash in the garbage can I headed back to my car. I didn't even need to be close to it to realize that something wasn't right. The parking lot was filled with cop cars. I had a really bad feeling about this. Walking closer I noticed that the cops were focused on my car, and the doors were open. A body was lying on top of a stretcher, not yet covered. Her blonde hair appeared to be shoulder length, and she was sporting a year round artificial tan. What the Hell. I knew how this worked, unfortunately, I wasn't in Trenton. I didn't know these cops, and they didn't know me. This wasn't going to go smoothly.

Pulling my cell phone from the pocket of my capris I hit the number for Lester and listened to it ring. Just as his voicemail picked up a large man whose uniform was so tight it was straining at the buttons started walking toward me. Great, just what I need. Deputy Dog does the beach.

"Stephanie Plum?" The cop asked. I had a hard time moving my eyes from his stomach. This man had a serious case of done-lap disease. His stomach done-lap over his belt.

I finally managed to focus on his face, which was ruddy and looked like he drank anytime he had a spare moment. His bulbous nose had spider veins and could give Rudolph a run for his money on Christmas Eve. I replied automatically, "Yes?"

"Hang up the phone, ma'am," he said. I really wanted to give him an Italian hand gesture and tell him to shove it, but decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I hung up the phone and gave him my best 'Burg look. This one saying, there, you happy now?

"What can I do for you, Officer?" I asked him. He grabbed my wrist, and I said, "Hey!" before he cut me off.

"Stephanie Plum, you're under arrest for the murder of Bonnie McMillan." Holy Shit! I couldn't really be getting arrested. It had to be a mistake. I tried to interrupt him, tried telling him it was a mistake, but he just kept right on with reading me my rights. He pushed me toward a waiting cruiser and shoved me, none to gently, into the backseat. My hands were cuffed behind my back and he worked the seat belt on me without saying another word.

When the door slammed shut, locking me inside the cop car all I could think was, Shit. Looks like I'm not going to make it to Lester's.

Word Count without Title or A/N: 3507

Bold words: Babe_Squad Challenge 5 prompts