Part Five

Chapter Twenty-One:

Sharing her apartment with a ten year old was not nearly as easy as Alex had hoped, and there were several inconveniences that she was still adjusting to. When Olivia worked, which was often, Alex was forced to take on the lion's share of the child-rearing duties, a task that she found herself woefully unprepared for. Still, she tried her best. She did not blast rap music while cleaning the house to preserve tender young ears. She tried to feed Calvin (and herself) three well-balanced meals, and even attempted to make them at the correct times. The days of eating dinner at ten o' clock at night and breakfast at two in the afternoon were long gone. She made sure that all of her sex toys, handcuffs, ties, flavored lubricant, and any other inappropriate items were tucked away in a lockbox at the top of her closet, along with a few "novels" dog-eared at the racy parts. She had also taken to wearing a nightshirt while she slept, or at least keeping one close to the bed in case Calvin had a nightmare.

When Alex first learned that Calvin would be staying with them, she made a promise to herself: 'I will not let a kid prevent me from having sex.' This promise was quickly broken over and over again. Their lovemaking, when they did find the time and privacy, was as excellent as ever, but there were no spontaneous quickies in the kitchen, and she could no longer distract Olivia from her commentary on a particularly bad documentary or crime drama by unzipping her pants and getting on her knees. In fact, they didn't watch crime dramas, documentaries, or anything resembling adult television anymore. The 'previous channel' button on the remote always seemed to lead her to a cartoon she wasn't familiar with – but that was also changing. She knew the theme songs to three animated shows already, and she had only been back just shy of a week.

Also, it turned out that not swearing was even more difficult for her than learning how to swear in the first place.

After six days of cooking, cleaning, washing, reading, watching television, driving, and answering a million and one questions about love, life, and politics, Alex realized three things. One, she liked kids. Two, she liked Calvin in particular. Three, she absolutely hated being a stay-at-home mom, even a temporary one.

"Olivia, I'm going nuts," she confessed, simultaneously making dinner and keeping an eye on Calvin as he read a book in the other room. The former ADA had decided to step a little more into her role as Calvin's caretaker and curtailed his television consumption. It had been a good distraction at first, but now it was just getting on her nerves. Calvin had not been pleased, but that was to be expected. Reading was much better for his developing brain anyway (not to mention quieter).

"Don't like playing Mom, huh, Cabot?" Olivia teased, but Alex recognized the hint of nervousness in her voice. Unlike her, Olivia was the most naturally suited person in the world for motherhood, and she took to it like a duck to water.

"I'm not made of strong enough stuff to be a full time... whatever the hell I am right now. I hate not working." That was the truth. "I love having Calvin here, I really do. He's been adjusting so well, and I know things are rough for him, but I'm just not cut out to be a homemaker for any length of time. Seriously. I don't have the chutzpah."

Olivia laughed delightedly, relieved that Alex wasn't rejecting the idea of letting Calvin stay altogether. She had no idea what she would do if Alex suddenly changed her mind. "Alex Cabot doesn't have enough spunk to handle one little kid? Wow, that's a first."

"Hey, I have been handling it, miss double-shifts. But I can't watch what I want on TV anymore, he keeps asking for the same five foods, and I miss having sex on the couch," Alex whined.

"You can watch what you want on TV. Calvin has to learn to share. Make something different for dinner. If Calvin doesn't like it, that's his problem. And if you really want to have sex on the couch," Olivia purred, nuzzling Alex's shoulder, "then I'll do you on the couch after little eyes and ears are tucked away in the bedroom."

Alex sighed. "I know. It's just an adjustment..." She hated to admit it, but she wasn't used to sharing. At least with Olivia, there were huge physical benefits that made her forget about the weird "naturally flavored" toothpaste in the bathroom instead of the regular mint variety and the girl boxers that seemed to pile up in the hamper faster than Munch went through conspiracy theories.

"So, what should we do?"

It was another one of the little moments that convinced Alex how right the decisions in her personal life had been. This was exactly where she was supposed to be. Still, there could be a few improvements. "He needs a regular bedtime, and you have to help me enforce it."

"Done," Olivia agreed.

"He needs to go back to school. I know that he got pulled out for a few weeks because no one was sure if he would be returning, but I bet if I go frighten a few secretaries and school administrators, we can get everything back on track."

"Done." That had been the plan anyway.

"I'm serious about you doing me on the couch."

The detective gave her a toothy grin. "Definitely!"

"And I'm going to get on my knees for Jack McCoy."

That was too much. "What?"

"Had to make sure you were paying attention." Alex winked. "I'm going to get my knees and beg for a job, any kind of job that's somewhat similar to my old one. I'll draw the line at demonstrating my oral skills."

Olivia groaned and leaned back against the counter, burying her face in her hands. "Alex, you can't say stuff like that. You'll give me a heart attack." That was when Olivia's phone started ringing. With a sigh, she grabbed her cell from the kitchen counter and answered the call. "Benson."

"Why do you answer your phone like that?" Calvin, who had snuck into the room while they were talking, almost made Alex jump out of her skin. She hoped that he hadn't been listening to their conversation for too long – that would have been embarrassing. Olivia smiled at him and held up one finger, indicating for him to wait.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, leaning back beside the stove.

"You always answer your phones like that. 'Benson' and 'Cabot'... don't most people say hello?"

"Yep, they do, but Olivia works very hard, and with a job like hers, sometimes there isn't time to say hello."

Meanwhile, Olivia stuffed a finger into her other ear and wandered a few feet away so that she could hear better. "What? I can't... hold on...what? Really? That... doesn't make sense. What kind of letters don't have – oh..."

"But you stay at home with me," Calvin added. "Why do you answer your phone like that?"

"Well, if we don't have DNA to run through the system – we could... no, but –" Olivia said, her voice slightly louder than necessary.

"Because I used to work with Olivia," Alex explained. "Speaking of which, I'm going back to my job soon."

For a moment, Calvin's face fell. Then, he brightened considerably. "Does that mean I can do whatever I want when I'm alone in the apartment?"

After spending two minutes waiting for Olivia to finish on the phone, almost burning the sixth grilled cheese she had made in as many days, and fielding several more questions from Calvin about what he could and could not do (No, You Can't Turn On The Stove Unless There Is An Adult In The Kitchen. Elliot Does Not Count. No, You May Not Open The Liquor Cabinet), Alex wanted to bang her head against the wall.

"Olivia," she whined as the detective ended her call, "help?"

"Here, let me do that." Olivia switched off the stovetop and reached into the upper cabinet for a plate. "I am hereby ordering you out of the apartment for the next couple of hours. Go bother Abbie and Serena or something. Maybe Carmichael can give you some advice on using your oral skills to convince Jack McCoy to take you back."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Stealing Olivia's cell phone, she scrolled through the detective's contacts until she found Abbie's number. While the phone was ringing, she reached into the forbidden liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of wine for good measure. Alcohol definitely sounded like a good idea tonight.

"Carmichael! Put some clothes on. I'm coming over."

Calvin giggled. "Olivia, why did Alex tel-"

"Because Abbie likes to run around in her underwear," Olivia said in a mock whisper, heading off Calvin's question before he finished. "And if your next question is going to be why Abbie likes running around in her underwear, I don't know. You'll have to ask her."

That would certainly be an amusing conversation to listen in on.